Six weeks later-
Elizabeth's thoughts were near incoherent as the hour drew to a close. John would be returning to them in minutes, though her heart wrenched painfully as she considered the coming reunion. He'd been found, amazingly since he was found on a planet the SG1 had never visited. He was unharmed, physically anyway. He had no idea what had happened or where he had been. Landry had finally allowed John to return to Atlantis only after insistent pressure from O'Neill. Whatever John had suffered on that mission had cost him. When SG1 rescued him they discovered John had no memories of anything that had happened beyond the first month in Atlantis.
Teyla stood alone in the gate room awaiting John. Elizabeth fought to shed the wave of jealousy that flowed suddenly over her. Serene, strong and lovely Teyla. John would most likely remember more of his feelings of that friendship than the one he'd slowly nurtured with Elizabeth.
Elizabeth's hands roamed across her stomach that stretched painfully full with the child that grew within. The child John had no memory of, the product of a love he had no memory of. Tears burned the corners of her eyes and she refused to brush them away as they fell. All the medical advice didn't change the fact that what they were asking her to do hurt. Horribly.
The baby kicked and Elizabeth sighed as she rubbed her sore and swollen stomach. A firm steady arm stretched somewhat awkwardly about her shoulder. She drew upon his strength forcing herself to acknowledge that losing John was not permanent. Elizabeth would never accept that. He would remember when he saw her carrying their child. He had to.
"You okay?"
Ronon's gruff voice was oddly comforting, as was his arm still tense and hesitant around her. That the only thing she had gained through this nightmare. Ronon had assumed responsibility for keeping her safe and sane while John had been missing. He'd become the terrifying overbearing brother she'd never had. There was no chance of her skipping meals with Ronon looming over her frowning.
Elizabeth glanced at Ronon when he pulled his arm away. He leaned forward bracing his upper body with a firm grasp on the railing. His face was unreadable, but Elizabeth sensed the tension within him as he stretched out looking down at the gate room below. Her teeth pressed sharply against her bottom lip. John wouldn't even know Ronon. Per Jennifer's orders, he stood with her now on the balcony above the gate room, awaiting John's arrival. It probably was a good idea to have a backup if her self-control failed. Her eyes pressed shut and she envisioned the homecoming she really wanted to give John. She'd waddle down the stairs as quickly and gracefully as she could manage before kissing him breathless.
But she'd been strongly advised to avoid doing just that. They didn't want his memories to be filled in artificially or for John to be pushed to remember. He was to be eased back in to the fold of Atlantis and, if all went as planned, Jennifer hoped his memories would begin to return just as gently.
Elizabeth glanced back at the control room. The crew had been hard at work. There was no balcony, railing or door frame that remained untouched by their feverish Christmas spirit. In a time of darkness, it was a hope that they had all fiercely grasped hold of.
Looking up, she smiled softly through her tears. Something resembling mistletoe draped nearly every doorway in Atlantis. Her heart did a little flip flop each time she crossed a threshold, imagining the many ways John would delight in taking advantage of that little holiday festivity. That was, if his memories returned before the holiday season ended. Tears again began burning wider trails down her cheeks.
Jennifer emerged from the shadows and joined them on the balcony. It had been six weeks since they'd left earth without McKay. Elizabeth understood all too well how much they would have missed each other. But tonight, they would be able to hold each other. Odds were, she'd still be sleeping alone in the agonizingly large bed in the new suite of rooms Teyla had prepared for her and John. It was a suite meant for a family. Elizabeth prayed that her family was not yet beyond repair.
The gate jumped to life. A warm reassuring hand moved to rest against her lower back. She turned to Ronon and his other hand rose to brush away her tears that had not ceased streaming. At that moment, John jauntily strode through the gate and immediately looked up to the balcony. Her breath hitched when he pinned her with a questioning gaze, but there was no anger or jealousy within his eyes. John nodded his head in greeting and turned his attention towards Teyla.
McKay had already sprinted up the stairs and was dragging Jennifer into his arms.
"Where's Ford?" John's voice drifted upwards. His tone indicated he already suspected he would not be pleased with the answer.
Teyla's face filled with sorrow and she started quietly talking to John.
Elizabeth felt as though the floor had begun swirling beneath her feet. Her heart rate had spiked and the room seemed hazy. Finding out about Ford would be a tough blow to John. It was just another reason she wanted to hold him so desperately, but he didn't remember her in that way. He didn't remember them.
A crushing pain tore through her chest and she could hardly breathe. Tears fell harder as she watched Jennifer clutch Rodney tightly. She knew it would make it worse, but she couldn't stop her eyes from straying back to John. She saw his forehead gently press against Teyla's. A ragged cry escaped her lips, she needed to escape this pain. Her knees buckled before blessed darkness came angrily crashing down over her eyes.
A commotion above drove John apart from Teyla. His eyes immediately darted to the balcony. His feet were in motion before he was even sure there was danger. Something coursing through his veins seemed to demand the response.
His footsteps pounded up the stairs and he heard shouts that seemed dim and distant. Protect Elizabeth was the only coherent thought he could focus on. He shook his head as he closed in. The damn cave man had scooped Elizabeth up in his arms.
A rising irritation threatened to overtake him. He wasn't even sure why the caveman irritated him so badly. It started as soon as John stepped through the Stargate. He spotted them outside the control room and it appeared as though the man had just been moving a straying hair from her face. John had also clearly seen that the man's arm extended behind her back. He seemed a little too familiar with Elizabeth and, for some unknown reason, it seriously pissed John off.
Focus, Sheppard. John tried to gather his fragmenting thoughts together. A doctor was now fussing around with Elizabeth's wrist and they appeared to be moving towards him. Towards the infirmary he realized.
"Hold up, Chewie, what's going on?" John was surprised at how easily that nickname had slipped out. It seemed familiar somehow. He quickly took in the massive man with the crazy dreadlocks. He could think of a lot of other more appropriate names, but slowly it occurred to him that Chewie was the perfect name for the creature that had Elizabeth tucked into his arms like she was a rag doll.
"Elizabeth." John's voice sounded deep and raspy in his ears. He felt a fear flooding his heart that he didn't understand and a wave of tenderness and concern almost took his breath away.
"She'll be fine. Jen just wants to get her to the infirmary to check the baby." Rodney said as he breezed by.
"Who is Jen? Where's Carson?"
John did a double take when he turned back to Chewie and Elizabeth. Her eyes were blinking slowly as she returned to consciousness. John quickly moved around to their side and his jaw dropped when he got his first glimpse of Elizabeth's obviously pregnant stomach. The caveman had obviously obstructed his view her from the gate room floor. His head jerked back and forth between that man and Elizabeth, both in wonder and something that felt surprisingly like hurt.
"You and him? A baby?" His eyes turned down.
When he glanced back up Elizabeth had begun shaking violently and had tucked herself even deeper into Chewie's arms. The man practically growled at John, as if he had somehow upset her.
"Let's go, Ronon." The doctor McKay had called Jen tugged them back into motion.
Ronon. John stood aside watching as the group hurried along to the infirmary, not even noticing he hadn't followed. John didn't want to like that man, for some reason seeing them together had felt like a swift kick to the gut. Yet, he found himself instinctively liking him anyway. He'd seen how protective he was of Elizabeth and how angry he'd been at John for whatever he'd done to upset her.
John ran his hands haphazardly through his hair and moved to the balcony where Elizabeth always waited. Today, she hadn't waited alone. He felt his face scrunch with frustration and he aimlessly kicked the railing. It was killing him that he had apparently lost years worth of memories. Something was coiling uncomfortably in his gut. There was something big they hadn't told him. Something besides Ford. His scowl deepened. He had a feeling he'd better figure it out soon or that it would all somehow manage to slip through his fingers.
A/N: Thank you so very much for all of you who took the time to review. It makes my day to hear your kind words and see notices of those who signed up for story alerts. I hope you continue to follow and enjoy. You know it's a given the next chapter will be up soon- my favorite couple has a very special delivery coming!