Chapter 10 - Constanze

At the first early light my eyes fluttered open, startled at first by the unfamiliar surroundings. An oak desk piled high with manuscripts, a simple wooden chair draped with a man's coat, white stockings flung carelessly about. A heavy set of curtains drawn open and tied back with braided cord. On the sill was the unfortunate nub of a burned candle, having gasped its last breath long ago.

Realizing my place, I sat up quickly. If Constanze is already awake there will be trouble! Remembering fragments of last night, I cursed myself – such a stupid girl! What will I tell my sisters if they find out? I pray that they will not be so fortunate.

Mozart lay on his front, nearly smothered by his own pillow. His fine hair had teased itself into a wretched nest. He stirred when I pulled back the quilt to slide off the bed, my feet quietly meeting the floor below. The bed sighed gently as I attempted to ease my way up, my body tensing at the sound of the wooden frame groaning under the shifting weight. Turning over my shoulder to see if I had awakened him or not, I was met by a pair of cool grey eyes.

"Escaping in the night?" He said groggily, scratching at the stubble that whispered at the base of his jaw. "It is neither escape, nor night." I quipped, pausing in the doorway caught mid departure.

"I was not referring to your leaving now, but more – your unexplained appearance last night." He said with a matter of fact. I waited with my hand on the handle of his door, unsure of what to say. How do I explain my actions, a young woman just appearing at his beside in the middle of the night? I did not even know, in my own mind, why I had done so. I was brought up to be a good and honest girl, but something had drawn me to it. To him. I was willing to forsake my name and my reputation just to be near him.

"I must go" That was all I could muster as I shut the door quietly. I tip toed back to my room – slipping through the open door to see to my relief, Constanze coiled up on the bed snoring softly. The curtains were pulled shut and the room was still quite dark. Thank god for her healthy sleeping habits – it would be highly unlikely that she would notice my absence in the night. She could sleep through almost anything my Stanzi!

I dressed quietly, choosing a simple frock. I was done trying to impress Herr Mozart, I needed to distance myself from that man. Last night was a terrible error, and I am blessed that he is an honest man for it could have ended much worse. At the very least, I have my honor intact and from this day forward – I will make it my duty to avoid any such proceedings.

At breakfast I sat between Mama and Papa, protecting myself by my family. As a result, Wolfgang was forced between my two sisters, Stanzi was thrilled. Poor girl, she was beside herself thinking that he had chosen that position of his own accord – but it was all too obvious that he was not in the least interested in either of them. Could I blame him?

Stanzi was a dear, sweet girl. She was dark haired, bright eyed and had the beginnings of an envious figure. She could accompany at the keyboard, sing and with a little work, she could look rather pretty. She would not be a great songstress or ever have a marble likeness made – but she would make a lovely wife and she could stand to raise a healthy brood. He chatted with her kindly, and she laughed appropriately. Poor thing.

At eleven, I excused myself from my music lesson – feigning ill. If Mozart was to be leaving for Paris within a short time, what would a few more lessons really afford me? I would no longer allow myself to be too near him. It was best to avoid his lessons all together. Instead I would remain upstairs with my reading to pass the hour. I replayed the scene in my mind as I stared at the text, I could not focus on my novel.

I kept thinking about him in the room below, his eyes were sad as he graciously accepted my excuse. He remained at the bench, and I at the door, neither one of us stepping closer. He seemed to respect my distance, though looking rather mournful. My belly ached at the thought of his apologetic eyes, his soft lashes. I wished to be near him. Oh how sweet it was to sit thigh to thigh, hands overlapping across the keys – giggling like mad at our musical nonsense. But I could not, it would be my undoing. Whatever this was, it was growing too big. It must end.

Now.

I jumped as Constanze burst into the room and threw herself on the bed with a breathy sigh.

"Stanzi! You lump! You can't simply throw yourself onto the bed, don't you see there are educated people trying to read?" I scoffed at her as she rolled over beside me "Oh Ali you'll never guess!" She squealed, ignoring my protests "Papa let me have a lesson!"

"And?" I raised a suspicious eyebrow at her. Papa gave us lessons all the time! He was our primary music tutor, teaching us to read notation – sing melodies and play harpsichord. Though we all appreciated his tutelage, none of us were very excited for the opportunity. Studying with one's father is less than riveting.

"With Wolfgang!" She grinned, "Oh my word Ali! He is the most wonderful harpsichordist I have ever heard – he played an entire sonata from one listen!" I narrowed my eyes as I listened to her story, she glorified and embellished every detail as she went, "The one I had been practicing for Papa! I played it for him and he said that it could be a little quicker, you know? So he demonstrated it for me – but you'll never guess! I had it memorized so there was no manuscript on the keyboard" she gasped, "Astounding! Not one mistake!"

"Is that all?" I said dryly, "Papa let you have my lesson with Herr Mozart, so you played a tune for him and he parroted it back to you?"

Her smile fell, "Well….Papa said you were ill so in that case I could have the lesson in your stead. And I thought you might like to hear about his –"

"Tricks?" I raised an eyebrow at her, "You know Stanzi, Herr Mozart was trained to do that as a young boy? That is a learned skill" she frowned as I continued to squash her brilliant tale, "I don't think he was doing anything especially for you Stanzi. I think he has grander things to do."

I wasn't sure why I had phrased it as I had, I could feel the thick blackness of jealously boiling towards my young sister. I hated myself for it. I hated myself for loving him. I hated myself for wanting that lesson in her place – for not being able to control my own self. Even from a distance, it appeared that he still had affects on me.

"Well, you weren't there were you? And I think he did play it for me because he likes me! He's simply shy and you – well you're just jealous!" she huffed and stormed out of the room, slamming the door on her way out. She was certainly right about at least one of those things. I buried my nose in my book and attempted to forget about her.

Stanzi sat at the top of the stairs, leaning against the wall, arms crossed angrily when Mozart had finally dismissed his last student for the afternoon. He trudged up the stairs weary from his lessons, pulling his wig off with a sigh as he climbed the last few steps.

"Stanzi?" He slowed to a stop a few steps short of the landing, seeing Constanze, the dear girl, with tears in her eyes. She sniffled and quickly wiped her cheeks with her hands, "I'm sorry Herr Mozart" she shuffled to her feet – smoothing out her pale blue skirts, locking her eyes on to the floor. Embarrassed for him to see her undone.

"My teaching was not so bad was it, poor dear?" He joked lightly in an attempt to lighten her mood, Stanzi looked up with a small smile but it quickly faded again, "No Herr Mozart. It was most enjoyable." She stepped out of his way, motioning him past. He frowned, he could not bear when ladies cried. He was never sure what to do. The young girl, she reminded him of his own sister, so lovely and innocent. "I thought we had agreed on Wolfie?" he took her hand and patted it gently, causing her to blush. He tried to change the subject, in an attempt to distract her from her thoughts.

"My sister insists on propriety Herr Mozart." She whispered "Is that so?" He snorted, though the sentiment was lost on Constanze, who was unaware of any encounters he had previously had with the elder sister.

"She thinks that I will give you a poor impression, and that it is unladylike." He remained in front of Constanze, staring at her curiously. She was rather plain, but a lovely girl nonetheless. She had considerable talent at the keyboard and from the lesson this morning, a tuneful voice – natural and clear. Obviously she had much love and adoration for her sister, however, this was proving to be a one sided affair.

"Well Frau Weber, as a matter of fact – I have travelled throughout all of Europe. I have met some of the highest nobility, played for Kings and Queens in imperial courts and I do believe that you are very much a lady." She blushed, beginning to giggle but her eyes still dewy with tears, "And do you know what else?" He leaned in very close, their chests brushing ever so slightly against one another, and in a voice barely above a whisper he added, "You're twice the lady of Miss Aloysia." He paused before adding, "Any day." He laughed at his own last comment with much gusto. Obviously finding it more entertaining from his own dealings with the lady in question.

"Please!" She giggled, joining in the laugh with a deep blush, "Ali can sing more beautifully than any of us Weber girls, without contest." Wolfgang's smile fell into a serious face immediately

"Singing skills and ladyship are not always a matched pair dear Stanzi. Though, if your father consents to further study, I think we can come close." He winked, releasing her hand with which she immediately covered her toothy smile.

"I'll ask him tonight Herr Mozart, I promise you." She bumbled and quickly curtsied as he stepped back from the landing, allowing her to descend.

"I'll wait impatiently for your reply" He called down to her as she skipped down the last few stairs and disappeared around the corner.