A/N: This chapter was betaed by RichelleBrinkley.

Chapter 10: Puffballs and Battle Moves

Scorpius was feeling extremely irritated. Hermione's holier-than-thou attitude annoyed him to no end; this left him with no option but to show her what was what.

The moment they arrived at their assigned table, Scorpius jumped at the chance to roughly push her into the booth whilst Robin was distracted, before quickly sliding in beside her himself. Scorpius then proceeded to innocently study the menu, apparently oblivious to what had just transpired and ignoring Hermione's death glare.

As he stared unseeing at the menu, Scorpius wondered why he had been so interested in the girl in the first place. Now that he thought about it, he wasn't even sure why she was supposedly interesting anymore. She was just so damn irritating – no scratch that – infuriating was the word he was looking for! Hermione Granger was a witch who was more trouble than she was worth. And she was constantly picking fights with him!

Well, if she wanted a fight, Scorpius would damn well give her one hell of a fight.

With that in mind, Scorpius immediately decided to put his plan into action. His first battle move was to bump his elbow into hers pretty much every time she raised her fork to her mouth or took a sip of water, making her spill her drink or making her smear the food on her face. It took him a great deal of self-restraint to contain his laughter. Oh, this was fun!

Scorpius felt positively gleeful.

Hermione on the other hand, was silently fuming. She couldn't believe the gall of this boy! And to think that she had actually begun to like him! How laughable this notion now seemed.

He was going to regret ever getting on Hermione Jean Granger's bad side. To hell with her initial decision to ignore his existence - it was time for retaliation!

Making sure the git was distracted by her brother, Hermione carefully raised her right leg until it touched the underside of the table, only to then smash her foot onto Scorpius' with all her might.

She deeply regretted not having chosen to wear some sort of high heels today. While they would have been rather impractical for the weather outside, they would have been extremely convenient in her fight with this nuisance: heels were great weapons.

However judging by her victim's loud yelp and pained expression, Hermione discovered with great delight that her concerns were unfounded. Her current footwear had done the job just fine.

"AHH!" Scorpius cried, startling the daylights of out Hermione's brother whilst his offender watched on smugly.

"Hey man, what's wrong?" Robin asked, concerned despite feeling somewhat annoyed. He hoped that the boy had a good reason for almost making him choke on his lamb chop.

Scorpius glared at Hermione. "What's wrong? What's wrong? Your sister is what's wrong! She's an evil little-"

Hermione interrupted him with a scoff.

"Oh, I'm evil? You were the one who started this ridiculous fight and intentionally bumped your elbow into me every time tried to eat or drink! I just gave you what you deserved!" she retorted back angrily, clenching her hands into fists.

"If you hadn't been so uptight earlier then we wouldn't be having this problem at all!" Scorpius rebutted defensively, and proceeded to poke her shoulder in anger.

Oh, now he dared to poke her too? Hermione swatted his hand away.

"Well, I rather be uptight than a horny pervert like you! How dare you insult me after having dirty dreams about me? I have every right to be upset!"

Scorpius rolled his eyes at her.

"Sweet Merlin, don't be so full of yourself! It's not like I wanted to have a dream about you and me having sex, it just happened!" he scowled at her.

This comment caused Hermione's brother to shift his focus entirely onto him. Had that dolt over there really just admitted having unchaste dreams about his sister? Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Meanwhile, Scorpius had just come to realise what he had just revealed in front of the girl's brother as well.

Shit, did that guy's eye just twitch? He gulped.

Robin's reaction, however, was unlike Scorpius (or Hermione for that matter) expected. Instead of calling Scorpius out on it and beating the living daylights out of him, Robin surprised the both of them by bursting into laughter.

Hermione would have been lying if she claimed not to be a little offended by this. After all, brothers were supposed to defend their sisters – especially their little sisters – from bad guys. They weren't supposed to laugh at their predicaments!

Scorpius on the other hand, was just relieved he wasn't going to get his arse kicked. However instead of letting the subject go, he continued riling Hermione up.

"Seems like you have to fight this battle on your own, sweetheart," Scorpius told her mockingly.

"You...you…insolent FERRET!"

"Oh, get over yourself! So what if I had a dream about you? Big whoop! And," Scorpius added, puzzled, "What kind of lame insult is 'ferret' anyway?"

That was a sentiment Robin could agree on as well. Calling someone a ferret was indeed a strange way to insult them.

"…I've heard ferrets are pretty smelly," Robin chimed in helpfully.

Had Hermione not been so upset at that very moment, she probably would have laughed at her brother's comment.

Ferrets were pretty smelly. Scorpius, however, smelled really nice…

But that was beside the point. If she decided that he was a ferret, then he was going to be a ferret! A good-smelling ferret that was perverted, nasty and sleazy and with whom she was very upset with.

"It's an inside joke, so of course you wouldn't get it. I hardly think your father goes around telling people the 'Ferret Story'. I know I wouldn't if I were him," Hermione said tiredly and took a sip from her water. This argument really was exhausting.

Scorpius, forgetting all about his anger, raised his eyebrows and looked at her curiously. "What ferret story?"

"… So that's what happened to your father back in our 4th year. Or at least that is Harry's version of what happened as I wasn't present during the incident - very much to my dismay. I would have loved to see the twitchy little ferret that your father was." Hermione had a big grin on her face when she finished recounting the story.

While her amusement was more than obvious, Scorpius simply sat there speechless, his mouth wide open. What he had just heard was… it was outrageous! To think he'd always thought the teachers today were terribly uptight and strict; the teachers back in his father's day were pure evil! His poor, poor father!

How was it that the teacher had gotten away with it without any legal consequences? To top it all off, the girl sitting next to him thought this was funny! How dare she? He needed to stand up for his father and defend the Malfoy family honour!

And so, Scorpius decided to do what he seemingly did best, at least in the case of Hermione Granger: insult her some more.

As funny as it had been to watch Scorpius and his little sister bickering at first, this whole ordeal was slowly starting to get on Robin's nerves. Not to mention how awkward they made him feel. Robin didn't like it at all when people made him feel awkward. He was an innocent bystander dragged into their mess.

Perhaps he should make an escape; maybe sit somewhere else until they worked out their problems? He eyed a nearby table appraisingly.

Nah, he'd just sit this one out. Surely these two would get tired of arguing at some point.

Oh, how very wrong he had been! Twenty minutes later and his two companions were still at it, not showing the slightest signs of ceasing anytime soon. As hard as Robin tried to tune them out and eat his food peacefully, it was impossible.

God, why couldn't they just stop with their annoying 'I absolutely have no interest in sleeping with yous' and 'oh really your dream says otherwises', the 'horny gits' and the 'hypocrite prudes' or the 'you dodo-brains'?

Blah-fucking-blah.

Eventually Robin got so annoyed that he ended up snapping at both of them, told them to stuff it already and ordered them to apologize to each other.

They did, albeit very grudgingly.

"Don't forget the handshake," Robin demanded, still watching them closely, arms crossed over his chest.

Again, reluctantly, they did as he said, but not without sending him glares that just screamed 'you should have sided with me, you traitor!'

Yes, as her brother, Robin knew he should probably have sided with Hermione, but considering how unreasonable and an incredible nuisance she was being right now, he couldn't care less about being loyal. He had to agree with some points Scorpius had made during their quarrel. However that didn't mean that Robin was going to side with Scorpius either. No, he suspected that the boy probably did want to get into his sister's knickers, just as she was accusing him of. The Dream Shell was heavy evidence against him. Robin had considered going into protective brother mode, but seeing as how his sister was faring pretty well on her own and already giving the boy hell, he decided against it.

Robin rolled his eyes heavenwards. "Teenagers…what a bother."

It really was time to go home.

Come Christmas morning and Hermione and her family were standing outside the driveway of their home to admire Hermione's present from her parents. Her mother had not been lying in her letter when she announced that they had a big surprise for her! Hermione couldn't help but let out a loud squeal while almost literally squeezing the life out of her parents and bouncing up and down in excitement. She couldn't believe that her parents had actually gotten her a car! Her very own shiny new car!

Her excitement was slightly dampened, however, when her father handed her the keys. It wasn't until then when Hermione remembered something very important.

"Mum? Dad?" she asked them with a frown.

"Yes, darling?"

"I don't know how to drive. I've never gotten a license, remember?"

"…"

"…"

Hermione was buttering her toast and talking to her mother when a loud 'POP!' interrupted their conversation. All four heads snapped to the source of noise, only to find a nervous looking creature with long ears staring up at them.

Even though her mother had warmed up to the magical world and embraced the fact that her daughter was a witch, it didn't mean that she wanted strange creatures in her home. She screamed shrilly at the sight of the house-elf in her dining room.

The creature immediately recoiled in equal fright, looking both mortified and inconsolable for having scared a human. Hermione almost got the impression that it wanted throw itself out the window of their two-story house as punishment. The poor misguided thing.

"Mum! Mum! It's okay. It's just a house elf! They're very friendly creatures and don't mean any harm," Hermione tried to calm her mother down.

Her mother didn't look too convinced at her daughter's words, continuing to cling onto her husband's arm for her dear life. Said husband winced in pain.

Robin, however, seemed fascinated by the sudden appearance of the elf and curiously stretched out his arm to poke it.

"Robbie, that's rude!" Hermione scolded him, quickly catching his hand in hers before he could touch the elf.

"Blinky is very sorry for scaring Miss Granger and her family," the elf began nervously, hopping from one foot to the other. "Blinky was sent here by Master to deliver a present to the young Miss."

It was only then Hermione noticed a fairly-large box behind the elf.

"Um, thank you, Blinky. That is very kind of your Master and, of course, of you for delivering it to me," Hermione told the elf with a smile.

"Here you go Miss," it eagerly handed her the present before proceeding to apologise profusely to Hermione's mother for scaring her and assuring that he would punish himself for his misbehaviour once he got home.

Before Hermione could tell the elf not to punish himself or even ask who his master was however, the elf bowed and disapparated with a loud 'POP!'

"Well, that was interesting," Robin said dryly and went back to eating his breakfast.

Hermione and her parents on the other hand, stared at the box in Hermione's hand.

"Open it, darling. We want to see what's in it," her mother encouraged when she made no move to open it.

Hermione nodded and rattled the box lightly as she always tended to do with presents in order to get an idea of what could be inside. However, upon doing this, a low hiss sounded from inside the box.

Startled, Hermione shot out of her seat, quickly placing the box on the ground whilst her mother's expression suggested that she was on the verge of hysterical screaming again. Even Robin had stopped munching on his croissant and stared at the box with a suspicious frown.

Hermione quickly reached for her wand, ready to hex whatever it was that was inside. Carefully, she undid the bow and used her foot to nudge open the lid… and almost died at the sight of a fluffy orange kitten poking its head out and staring at her accusingly.

"Aren't you the sweetest little kitten in the whole wide world?" Hermione's mother cooed at the kitten, giving it little kiss on the head before placing it back on the floor next to a bowl filled with tuna. The kitten purred loudly in response, letting itself be petted whilst eating his food.

"Hey, Hermione! There's a letter in the box. Probably a note from the 'Master'," Robin told her, holding up his hands and making air quotes saying 'Master'.

Hermione accepted the parchment held out to her and read it curiously.

Hello Hermione,

Please accept this gift that my elf delivered to you as peace offering from me.

I bought this cat when I went to the Magical Menagerie the other day to get my owl some treats. Whilst there, this psychotic kitten suddenly attacked me for absolutely no reason, which reminded me a lot of you, actually.

I am sure you two will get along very nicely: an evil kitten for an evil Gryffindor – a perfect match. So please accept this pet and stop being all pissed-off at me already.

Wishing you a merry Christmas,

Scorpius Malfoy

P.S.: The cat's name is Puffball. My father suggested Patapouf - that's French for fatty - but seeing as the kitten is just all fur and not fat, my mother's name for it seemed much more appropriate (I know... never listen to a man who insisted on naming you Scorpius Hyperion). It was also the only name the creature responded to without trying to attach its claws to my skin.

P.P.S.: I advise you to never go and try to tie a ribbon around that cat's neck. Apparently it doesn't like them very much.

Hermione set down the letter and stared at her new and loudly purring pet, feeling quite stunned.

Wow. Who would have thought the git capable of such a gesture? His apology was so – dare she say it – sweet. Yes, so very sweet and rude at the same time.

Hermione shook her head with a small smile as she crouched down and petted her new kitten.

This Scorpius Malfoy was certainly an enigma to her.

A/N: This chapter is dedicated to Maru the cat. Maybe you've seen some videos of him on Youtube. He's such an adorable and funny cat. :)

Oh, and this is what I imagine Puffball to look like: www DOT themegryan DOT com / images / FurryCat DOT jpg