Rarely did Gisla feel safe when she slept. Usually she stayed alert in case someone would kidnap her as was often the case when she was a child. After all those years, she still had the same reflexes. But strangely, despite what she knew of him, despite the fact that he killed perhaps more humans than she ever had, she felt safe in Rollo's arms. Of course he was a human and she still was wary of him, but she couldn't help but feel safe and relaxed with him. She breathed calmly and slowly, nested in Rollo's powerful arms. Her back was pressed against his chest, her tail half in the water, half on land and she felt his warm breath on her skin. From time to time, she was tickled by the fur he had wrapped around both of them. And from time to time, she sighed at the sound of his calm breathing and his delirious scent.
She felt protected that night. She felt almost at peace. Almost. She still felt conflict in her heart. One part of her told her not to trust him, to kill him right away and the other one told her to stay with him, to care for him, to let him love her and to let herself loving him. Thus, when she dreamed, she dreamed of war. Two giants fighting each other so violently even the gods were afraid. Those dreams only lasted a few seconds. Rollo had gently stroked her hair and she relaxed right away. He had sung for her and she had slept peacefully for the rest of the night.
Rollo, on the other hand, made tremendous efforts not to be aroused by the mermaid. His arms were wrapped around her body, sheltering her, and all his body was pressed against hers. Even though the night was fresh, never had the air felt warmer.
He tried to memorize the scent of her hair, the gentle warmth of her skin, the shape of her bones, the sound she made when she breathed, for he did not know if he would even survive the raid. Should he die in battle, he wished to die with the memory of her. She was all he had. His most precious bond despite his brother. Should he reach Valhalla, he would always have a memory of her.
For the first time in more than ten years, he felt he had something that kept him on Midgard. A will to live he never had. A will to see the sun rise again and feel the crashing waves of the ocean on his stiff body. She made him want to live.
Slowly, he was awoken by the sun rising. The storm had passed. The sky was clear with no clouds in sight. The wind was gentle yet strong enough to give speed to Ragnar's boat. It was a perfect day to raid. Rollo feared – or hoped – the raid would be delayed because of the storm, but apparently the gods were on his brother's side.
He looked at the beautiful mermaid sleeping in his arms with love and tenderness and stood up without waking her. He wrapped his cloak around his body and with a last smile to the mermaid, he went back to his small house. He greeted the wolf who had been hunting the whole night, ate all he could to give him strength, and headed to his chest where his battle gear was in.
He put on a shirt, then his bronze mail coat – an expensive item which reminded people that despite him being a fisherman, he once was noble - tied his shield to his back, grabbed his dane axe, a hatchet and his old sword – a gift from his grandfather - which he tied on his belt and once finished he left. With a last affectionate stroke to his wolf, he walked back at the cove he found for Gisla to bid her farewell. He wished to hear her voice one last time.
When he arrived, she was waking up. She looked around her, apparently looking for something and her eyes fell on Rollo. Her eyes widened in sheer fright and she squealed. Rollo immediately took off his helmet and carefully approached her.
"Shhhh. It's me Gisla. You have no need to be afraid." he said with a calming voice.
"Frighten me like that again human, and you can say goodbye to your head!" she said angrily, panting to catch her breath.
Rollo chuckled.
"It will never happen again then. I came to say goodbye. Unless you'll follow us on the battlefield to take some souls and give them to Ran."
"Wait. You were serious then?" she asked surprised.
"Of course I was. I never joke about war and fights. I promised you and I promise again: each man I kill at sea is yours." Rollo solemnly said.
Gisla stared at him with interest, brows furrowed.
"So, will you follow us? Of course if you do, you'll have to hide just in case. I do not want my brother to see you."
"I will think about it." Gisla said with pride.
"Very well then." Rollo said standing up. "We will leave in a few hours. It will give you time to make a decision."
He grinned one last time and turned away, heading for the forest. He gave her a gentle stare, smiled to her and entered the forest.
Gisla looked at him with wonder. Truly he fascinated her. All of him was violence and strength and yet he proved himself to be delicate and gentle. Could such a human ever be real? Could humans not be what merpeople were taught at such a young age? Could they be more than that? Gisla did not know for sure, but she knew Rollo was. From the start he looked at her with admiration and not with disgust; or fear and hatred as the other humans Gisla ever killed. Something in his eyes and in his spirit was different.
Different. Perhaps that was why he fascinated Gisla. He was different. But this did not explain how her heart beat every time he was near her. Nor her sudden hot flushes when he was with her or the way she let herself go into his arms. It was only part of the reason for it.
She wished she would find the answer to her interrogations but she was afraid of what she would find. She did not wish to even come close to the truth. She felt it would destroy her. She felt it would be betraying her people and everything she held dear. Her pride as a princess and daughter of Ran would not survive this.
Yet, like a powerful wave, Rollo's presence had the gift to wash away all her doubts. He offered her devotion and love. He placed the love he felt for her above his loyalty to his family. He offered her his help to fulfill her duty as a mermaid and as a princess.
'Every man I kill at sea is yours' those were his words. What if he was sincere, she thought. What if he really wanted to prove himself useful? What if working with him was compatible with duty? No. It was impossible. A human working with a mermaid. This was almost as ridiculous as Skadi happily married. It was laughing at the face of the gods. Never had this been done before.
"Every man I kill at sea is yours." she whispered.
What did she have to lose? Everything. Her reputation, Ran's blessing, her father and people's love and pride. If she was discovered this could be the end of everything she knew and held dear.
But again she thought of his words. He promised he would keep her as a secret. Why couldn't she keep a secret too? If it was to fulfill her duty, then surely Ran would forgive her. Or at least not be as very angry as she could.
With determination, Gisla dove into the pool. She had some work to do.
While he walked in the forest, Rollo tried as much as he could to remember the sensation of it. It might be his last day on Midgard. He would be a fool if he did not try to enjoy it. He carefully watched as the gentle fog of the morning disappeared slowly, as the leaves of the trees took a golden shade because of the sun. He listened the sound of his heavy steps on the moss, the rustle of the leaves moving in the wind, the sounds of birds, foxes and wolves, the sound of the forest singing life. All was quiet and to tell the truth, Rollo regretted leaving for the raid. The forest itself was enough for him to want to stay.
But he had to raid. He swore on his arm ring to be loyal to Ragnar. He grinned remembering another oath he swore not so long ago. He hoped Gisla would come. Of course he would have to hide her and keep Ragnar distracted. He did not want him to find her.
Rollo's face lightened with the sky. He kept thinking about the night he spent with her. He had been surprised to realize how gentle and peaceful she was when she slept in his arms. It was as if any hint of anger and pride left her. Never had he seen her that soft – not that he did not like it. In fact, the night he spent with her increased his love for her in a way he did not think possible. He was happy he had the chance to be with her before the raid. He was more than happy. He was grateful. He wanted to thank Ran and to make a sacrifice to the sea.
Caught up in his thoughts, he stopped caring about the time and he got to the village sooner than he expected.
From where he stood he had a clear view of Ragnar's fleet. It was impressive and Floki did a wonderful job. He saw some men bustling around and packing their weapons, adjusting their shields on the longships, women saying goodbye to their lovers, husbands, sons or brother and some other women readying themselves to fight.
Rollo couldn't help but to remember with a joyful melancholy the time he and Lagertha fought together. It seemed so far and yet so close. He remembered what it was like to fight alongside old friends and his brother.
"History is repeating itself it seems." he whispered without thinking.
He sighed then headed to the harbor. He found Lagertha, Ragnar, Aslaug, Sigvar, Floki and Torstein near the water. Sigvar had his hands on Ragnar and Lagertha's shoulder and he smiled with pride. He did not notice Helga. He supposed she was kept busy at home with all the work she had to do by herself since she and Floki did not own any slaves anymore.
Lagertha was beautiful. She was wearing a long cloak of fur, an apron tied with two brooches, a pair of large pants and some comfortable boots. Her long blond hair was braided and tied on the back of her head and she had applied war paint on her face. Never had she looked fiercer. The fire in her eyes reminded Rollo of Gisla. Yet, there was something missing in Lagertha that filled Gisla's.
He saw Bjorn and Ubbe looking at their father with admiration. He saw Hvitserk holding Gyda's hand and Ivar resting in his sister's arms. Gyda was looking at her mother with affection but also worry that she might be wounded in battle. Lagertha put her arm around her daughter's shoulder and squeezed as to give her comfort.
As he approached, Sigvar turned to him and his smile faded, replaced by a disgusted expression. Rollo shot him a daring glare and then went beside his brother.
"Your hair is unusually tangled this morning brother." Ragnar noted. "Did you sleep well?"
Rollo quickly touched his long hair and noted with a mix of panic and disappointment that he did not braid his hair and that it was messy. Gyda giggled as well as Lagertha and Aslaug.
"Yes. I slept rather well I guess." he said.
Torstein laughed and handed him a comb. Rollo smiled at him and began to brush his hair. He gave Gyda a knowing look and she smiled gently. Hvitserk mimicked his sister and giggled as well. In this moment Rollo was happy.
"Did you have a nightmare, Rollo?" Floki said with mischief. "Is the great warrior afraid to raid again?"
"Floki." Lagertha said as a warning.
"No. you're too great of a warrior to worry about those things." Torstein noted. "I bet it was a girl!"
"Torstein, don't be ridiculous!" Lagertha said. "Do you forget that since Siggy is..." she stopped half way. "I am sorry Rollo. Perhaps I shouldn't talk of these things."
Rollo did not answer. A smile appeared on his face and suddenly his expression melted into nothing but love and tenderness. Lagertha looked at him with astonishment on her face.
"No. Don't tell me... You... Rollo, did you sleep with a girl last night?" Lagertha said.
"Oh it is true then." Torstein said a smile on his face. "That would explain why he is so joyful lately." he said pushing Rollo's shoulder.
"Stop. It's not what it seems." Rollo said shyly.
"Then what is it brother?"
"It is true I slept with a girl. But this was..."
"Who was she? A shieldmaiden perhaps?" Torstein said teasingly. "No one but a shieldmaiden could have earned Rollo's affection."
Lagertha grinned. Aslaug looked at her with affection and smiled, amused by the situation.
"No." Floki said. "I am sure it is a slave. No woman sane of mind would sleep with a traitor such as Rollo."
"Careful Floki. Don't forget what happened last time you talked to me like that?" Rollo menaced him.
"As if I could! I will never forgive you Rollo! I hope you fucked your slave right. If I recall, last time you did not wait for her consent. Nor the other times."
"Floki." Rollo growled.
"A slave is perhaps what suits you the most Rollo." Sigvar said. "After all, you are a failure and a rapist. You are a worthless man. I curse the day you were born."
Rollo clenched his fists. No one was allowed to call him worthless. Only Gisla was allowed that privilege. Calling him a worthless man because he loved her was an insult to her. Rollo could not bear it. Any insults made to Gisla was to be punished.
"She is not a slave! She is a woman of noble blood and heart!" he whispered angrily.
"A woman of noble blood and heart!" Sigvar mocked. "What a tale! Don't try to give yourself more value than you have! Ragnar married two woman more noble than the one you fucked. That is proof of his worth. You and your whore are nothing." he spat.
Rollo felt himself become mad with rage. If it were up to him and only for him, he would have ripped his father's heart out of his chest and feed it to the crows. If it were up to him, he would have drowned him and offer him as a sacrifice to the gods of the sea. But more than rage, he felt pain and sorrow. He knew they were right. He was worthless. His soul was worthless. It was true he was nothing compared to his brother. Nevertheless he loved Ragnar and deep down he held the wish to make his father proud someday. Perhaps that day he would even call him 'son', who knew?
"If you'll excuse me." Rollo muttered walking away.
"That's right Rollo! Run! Run like you always do!" Sigvar said with disdain.
Aslaug shot him a glare and then ran to Rollo under the cold gaze of Ragnar. Whose sons were teasing with woodsticks as to fight with swords.
"Rollo wait!"
"What is it Volva?"
"This woman. I can't help but believe she has something to do with your dream. I can't help but believe she belongs to a world you don't have a place in."
Rollo stayed silent.
"Rollo, please tell me she isn't a daughter of Ran. Tell me she isn't a mermaid." Aslaug said with despair and fright. "This could provoke her anger."
Rollo sighed. He turned to her and showed a tired face. "She is not. As Floki said, she is a whore." He cursed himself for lying about Gisla like that. Calling her a whore was worse than being tortured. "Even so, how could a human love a mermaid? They are such hideous creatures." Great! Now he owed Gisla one more apology.
"Yes. I thought so too." Aslaug said quietly. "The son of Sigvar the mermaid slayer and a mermaid. That would be ridiculous."
"Do you really think so? " Rollo said with sadness.
"For one of the Sigvarssons, yes. For the other, I am not so sure." she mischievously said.
Rollo chuckled and then headed to the boats while Aslaug walked back to the group. She smiled gently at him. She was happy he got to fall in love again. As mysterious as his lover was; if she caught Rollo's heart, she had to be extraordinary.
Once arrived at the boats, Rollo heard a familiar voice in the water. His heart skipped a beat and a large smile spread over his face. The voice was coming from a boat far from the others. The water was hidden by a large rock. No one could see what was under the water. Rollo smiled to himself. Gisla was so smart.
He looked around him and when he was sure no one was looking at him, he headed to where the voice was coming from. Finally, he saw her, her eyes burning with the fire of war and her wonderfully braided hair spreading on the surface of the water.
"Human." she called. "Human! Savage! Brute!" she called again.
"I am here. I am here." Rollo said with a low voice.
He carefully stepped over the rock and hid behind it.
"At last!" she hissed. "I have been calling for you for an hour. Another of your kind almost found me."
"What? Are you well?" he asked with a hint of panic.
"Of course I am! I am a mermaid! Had he found me I would have drowned him!"
"I am sure you would." Rollo chuckled gently.
"I have come to tell you my decision."
"Which is?"
"I accept. I will follow you on this raid human. But remember to keep your promise."
"I will. I will not betray you."
Gisla smiled gently for a second. Rollo grinned and leaned his lips to hers to give her a kiss. But she swiftly pushed his head away with her hands.
"What are you doing?"
"Is that not obvious?" he said puzzled. "I am giving you a goodbye kiss."
"Goodbye? But I will travel with you!"
"Is it not the tradition for a man and woman in love to bid farewell with a kiss when one is going to raid?" he said with a smile.
"I do not love you human." Gisla hissed.
"But I do, mermaid. And I vow to love you again and again until I win you over. I want you to love me." he said nearly whispering.
"If you betray me, I will kill you." Gisla angrily suddenly.
"Have you not tried this yet, princess?" Rollo teased.
"You are unnerving." she hissed before diving into the water.
Rollo chuckled. He looked at her underwater and could not help but feel happy. Her simple presence was enough to give him the strength of one army and the courage of thousand men. With her by his side, he was stronger than ever.
Once his shield was on the longship, Rollo came back to Ragnar, Lagertha and all the others. This time, he tried not to answer either to his father, or to Floki. He needed to concentrate and relax before the battle. Otherwise, he would end up dead.
"Are we leaving soon?" he asked Ragnar.
"Yes. I am just giving instructions to father for when we will be away."
"Isn't it Aslaug who should rule in your absence, Ragnar?" Lagertha asked.
Ragnar looked at his wife and then turned back to Lagertha with a cold smile on his face.
"You are right, Lagertha. It is Aslaug who should rule. I am just afraid she might be too busy with raising my sons to rule the whole time I will be gone."
"I can do both, Ragnar." Aslaug said coldly.
Ragnar smiled to her and then turned back his head.
"I can help her." Gyda said calmly. "I can take care of my brothers while she rule."
Ragnar looked at his daughter and his cold grin turned into a proud smile. Lagertha looked at her and gave her a proud look.
"You are very kind Gyda." she said. "I will miss you." she whispered, hugging her daughter tight.
"I will make a sacrifice to Njord and Tyr for your victory." Aslaug said.
Gyda looked at her and smiled. She played a bit with Ivar's hand while Ubbe and Bjorn took Hvitserk by the hand to go and play but the water.
"What do you care about our victory? Isn't it you who predicted a wolf would come and attack me by the sea?" Ragnar said with anger.
"I speak the words of the gods. I do not approve of them." Aslaug said in anger.
"Right." Ragnar said. "Well, I guess we should go. Rollo seems eager to fight."
Rollo smiled to his little brother. A smile to which Ragnar answered with a pat on his back. Both brothers walked away to the ships, chatting joyfully, showing affection, followed by Torstein who laughed, happy to fight again and Floki, who shot them angry stares. Lagertha, Gyda and Aslaug stayed behind, all looking at the fleet in front of them. Lagertha was about to walk to them when she suddenly turned to Aslaug with concern.
"Please," Lagertha said to Aslaug. "protect us on this raid. You are a Volva. I know you can help us from here. Your magic can grant us victory."
"I will Lagertha. You are under my protection. I will ask Freya to give you strength."
"Thank you." Lagertha said her hand on Aslaug's cheek.
"May you be noticed by the gods and may you be victorious Lagertha." Aslaug said solemnly as if she was declaiming a prophecy.
"Take great care of my son. I love him more than anyone." she pleaded Aslaug. "And take care of Gyda." she said smiling to her daughter. "I have no doubt that she will have matured and grown by the time we get back. I am sure she will make a great shieldmaiden one day."
Gyda smiled weakly when her mother mentionned her wish to see her as a shieldmaiden. Aslaug smiled to her, sorry. She knew Gyda did not wish to fight in the shieldwall. But she was so afraid to disappoint her mother she kept it quiet.
"I will Lagertha. I will take care of them as my own." she said putting her hand on Gyda's shoulder.
"Then I have no worries to have. I know how great of a mother you are." Lagertha said smiling gently.
Aslaug smiled back. She held her hand for one second and dropped it with affection.
"Give my farewell to Helga. Tell her I wish her good health. I will miss her." she said.
"I will. Do not worry." Aslaug said smiling.
The shieldmaiden hugged her friend tight, kissed her daughter's forehead, advising her to stay safe and walked away, her long blond hair bouncing on her back.
Once all men gathered on the longships, Floki blew the horn announcing the departure for the raid. Aslaug stood on the pontoon, her long hair swept by the wind, Sigvar by her side. She sang a spell to bring them protection and when the ships were far enough from the village, she turned to Sigvar with a defiant expression on her face. Sigvar shot her a warning look and stayed in the harbor looking at the ships while Aslaug walked away, Gyda by her side and the boys running to her. But he was too focused on Ragnar's ship to notice the strange patterns on the waves made by a mermaid underwater.
Rollo was sitting next to Ragnar on the main ship of the small fleet. He closed his eyes, enjoying the warmth of the summer sun and the wind in his hair. He had tied it in a bun and a few locks escaped it to whip him in his face. The speed was exhilarating. It was a sensation so familiar, yet, so strange. It had been years since he last went raiding. Years since he last fought with his brother. He was happy to fight beside him again. But what he looked forward to the most was killing men and giving them to Gisla. He hoped she would like the gift and trust him more afterwards.
He looked around him and what he saw warmed his heart. Lagertha was on her ship with her shieldmaidens, Floki and Torstein were chatting joyfully while they were rowing, warriors sang and laughed. It was as if the last ten years never happened. As if Rollo was still one of them. As if they were young again.
He closed his eyes again, cradled by the sound of the keel cutting through the water and the waves. The sea began to be more violently; a sign they were entering the open sea. He wondered if Gisla would be fine. After all, the trip to raid was long, perhaps she would be tired. He gave the water a worried glance. He wondered how far she was from him. Was she fine?
All his doubts were washed away as he noticed her, just below him, deep enough not to be spotted by anyone but him. From the look on her face – as blurry as it was – she was focused on her mission. Rollo sighed with wonder. He loved her. She was so fierce in such a state, she looked like she could sink ten ships with one glare. She was mighty.
In many ways she reminded him of Lagertha. In some others, she reminded him of Siggy. Siggy's beauty was elegant, Lagertha's was wild. Gisla certainly was not as beautiful as those women but she had something unique in her. Something that made Rollo fall for her. Her beauty was one of a kind and often Rollo's thoughts lingered on her fierce eyes and her beauty spot on her neck – an imperfection that only made her more charming. He loved her. And because he loved her she appeared more beautiful than anyone else.
"You are smiling, brother." Ragnar noted.
"What?" Rollo asked immersed in his tender thoughts.
"You are smiling. It is the same smile you had when you looked at Lagertha when we were younger." he said smiling.
"If you say so."
"I am sorry for what father said about the woman you slept with."
"You have nothing to apologize for."
Ragnar grinned.
"So, how is she? How is the woman who makes you so happy you are distracted?"
"Am I distracted?"
"You are. I only hope you will not be as distracted in battle."
"That won't happen. I promise." Rollo said chuckling.
"So, how is she?"
"She is... she is... she is beautiful. That is all I can tell you."
"Who is she?"
"A wanderer. I met her yesterday." Rollo casually lied.
"A wanderer. How mysterious!" Ragnar said unimpressed.
Rollo silently laughed and then looked away. He did not wish Ragnar to ask any more questions. Gisla was his and he was afraid that by sharing he might lose her in a way. Apparently Ragnar understood because he stood up, patted his brother's shoulder and went in front of the ship to talk to Floki and Torstein.
Now alone, Rollo could think and dream about Gisla without being bothered. He stared at the water and the large waves crashing against the ship; and wondered if Gisla was responsible for them. He knew she could. She was strong enough to do that. He gently brushed his fingers on his lips, recalling the time he kissed her and the multiple time she had insulted him. Of course he had been offended. But more than anything he enjoyed her stubbornness much more than he should have.
"A Valkyrie from the sea." he murmured.
Then, he laughed.
"Gisla." he whispered as a spell. "My Gisla."
They spent what seemed like days on the longship. Ragnar did not communicate their destination to Rollo. All he knew was that they had to sail on the Skagerrak. From what Gisla had told him, Rollo suspected the merpeople of this kingdom might not enjoy the fact that the daughter of one of their enemies, as loved by Ran as she was, was traveling freely in their territory. He was afraid of the consequences for her. He was worried she might get caught.
One night, when everyone was asleep, he carefully put his hand in the water and beckoned Gisla. She stuck her head out of the water, visibly angry.
"Why did you call me? I reached a reasonable pace. Now I have to find the right rythm to follow you again."
"I am sorry Gisla. I just wondered if you were fine."
"Fine? Of course I am fine human! Why would I not be?"
"Because we are going to cross the Skagerrak. I wondered if you would be alright with the merpeople of this kingdom, you know, considering they are your father's enemy."
Gisla's eyes widened in shock. He did listen to her. He had remembered what she told him. He did take her advice seriously. But more than anything, he was worried for her. He was worried about her and the possible political implications of her actions. She was so taken aback she had to catch her breath.
"So you listened then?" she asked surprised.
"Of course I listened! What man would be stupid enough not to listen to your advice?" Rollo said offended she might have thought the opposite.
Gisla's mouth twisted into a gentle smile. A smile which Rollo answered with a happy grin.
"It will be fine human. I have Ran's protection. And besides, I know my father plans on marrying my eldest sister, Adelaide to the prince of the Skagerrak. I can say I am here on her behalf to say how thrilled she is to marry the prince." she said. "And either way, if that does not work, then I just have to do my best not to be spotted. I just have to be discrete. It will be fine."
"I can't help but worry." Rollo whispered.
"You should not. You should only worry about the men you'll kill and give to me." she said fiercely.
Rollo grinned. "I will. You should be ready princess. I intend on giving you many souls."
"Remember human. You promised."
"I will never forget it. Now, perhaps I should get some sleep and you dive back under the surface, I am afraid you might get caught."
Gisla smiled rebelliously and did as he advised. Rollo wrapped himself in his fur cloak and closed his eyes to sleep. But once he did so, he immediately pictured Gisla. Her eyes were imprinted in his mind as permanently as his tattoos on his arms and his chest. He smiled gently. It was perfect. She would never leave his thoughts. She was with him forever.
Things are heating up. Next chapter will have more action I promise. A lot of blood will be shed and a big step will be made forward. Also I hope my portrayal of Gyda is good. I just couldn't not write her.
I hope you liked this chapter. Comments and reviews are more than welcome. I crave them.