AN- Okay i know this is late...okay really late. But i have my reasons and there really good reasons why. The main reaosn T_T im 15 and my parents suck. So becuause i had gotten B's and C's on my progress report (12 year old brother got strait A's) they took away my computer. And when they do that they say "you cant go on the home computer either" which is a bunch of bull -_- and when i did get it back I had 4 projects to do and by the time i finished them they took my precious away from me AGAIN! Then two weeks later again i got back my computer to work on another project (why the fuck do teachers give so much work!) which i got a 96% on yet they took it away again claiming i wasnt working and writing my stories. I Wrote this chapter probaly like 10 times because somthing always happened so sorry if this chapter seriously sucks. i dont exacly like it. to cheezy and to much non talking. im better with diolouge. Anyway like i said before this story was supposed to be done around this chapter BUT for some reaosn people actully like this story ( a real surprise to me) and so i decided to add more chapters. I have a few more ideas for this story so it will continue for longer. This Chapter was supposed to be 10 pages long but i cut it in half so that it was two chapters instead. Which to me makes it seem as bad as it could get. Look forward for proably either 2 chapters later or three. no lemon but it gets interesting. my type of angst!
I was in fact doing both.
And now i still dont have my computer so im forced to write at 3 in the morning on microsoft word 2003 (which is horrible!)
Now about Lemon...or lime. THis story was originaly supposed to have lemon in it but i had to tone it down for deviantart. but they even took off the third chapter becuase it MENTIONED rape. which didnt happen people. so i gave up over there and only posted on here. SO in the future im problay going to have some in here. but i will warn you i suck at writing lemon and its going to take forever for me to write. i mean i started a lemon oneshot about 5 months ago and it still isnt finished.
Ill try to update faster But like i said im still writing on microsoft word 2003 so im sure its going to suck worst than it is.
Thanks for all the reveiws and watching me. It Makes me happy to know people like my writing. ^^
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Deidara held my hand, tightly, as we walked through the soft snow that was slowly falling to the ground. He kept me warm by standing there and it made me smile.
After Deidara confessed his love to me I haven't been happier. It made me truly wonder how I hadn't figured out how much I felt the same way about the blond myself. I mean, yes I had been surrounded by extremely sexy guys, that would sexual harass me almost every second they would get, but that didn't mean that I exactly liked them like that. But…Deidara was different. Him ignoring me felt horrible and actually made me depressed. And so that feeling, plus my nightmares, combined made me seriously feel lousy.
Anyway, the point is I do love Deidara…but am I really THAT oblivious that I hadn't known it? If so then what else am I missing in my life. Like what if my dad truly does love me he just…he just cant understand me. So am I that oblivious that maybe my dad truly doesn't hate gay people and if he did find out would he hate me? I know I love my father but…I don't know how he truly feels about me. I mean I know he tried to show it when he put me in as a model (even if I hadn't wanted to) and I know he tried to show love by buying me things (that I didn't want) but he hadn't showed me any true love for years. Since my mother died.
And what if I'm missing something about that to. What if that's the reason I keep having that dream over and over again.
I sighed at the thought that again I would have a sleepless night. When Deidara tightened his grip on my hand and stopped his steps it caused me to look at him with a slight arch in my eyebrow.
"Naruto…You okay?" he kissed my forehead, that made me just slightly embarrassed because now that we were walking home there were people around us.
"Hm? Uh yeah I'm okay. Why?" I asked.
"just because you seemed a bit out of it for a while…oh shit are you sick!" he put his free hand to my forehead and I just grinned a bit shyly.
"No I'm okay, I was just thinking for a bit." I said truthfully.
"Good because if you were sick I wouldn't know how to care for you." he sighed, "I mean I can barley take care of myself let alone another person. You would most likely be dead in a matter of minuets, un." he nervously laughed and I only grinned at him.
"I trust you wouldn't kill me." I said stepping a bit closer to his side. He decided it would be better to throw his arm over my shoulder, bringing me closer to him (if that was possible) and kissed the top of my head.
"So then what's wrong?"
I froze. He was asking this now?
"What do you mean?"
"You know what I mean." we continued our walk toward our home, my steps matching his, "For the past month and a half you haven't been sleeping, and have been distant at times. Literally you would just zone out for a period of time. And when Pein or Itachi or someone else tried to pull you out of it sometimes you wouldn't. And when you would you would act like you were normal. So don't say that there's nothing wrong. I know you more than you think since I do love you." He looked at me sternly and in truth I didn't know what to say.
I really have been thinking for awhile about the guys…do they know who my family is? I mean it wouldn't be that hard to just type my name in Google and find thousands of links on me. If you haven't noticed Naruto isn't that popular of a name unless its for a house cat or something. So they must know. So then why am I still here? wouldn't they, I don't know, give me back to my father for some exchange of money? It would make sense to any person, especially if I remember what Kakazu said.
That the bar was supposed to earn money to get back into business. Even if that plan sort of dropped in there line of site, seeing as a lot of them like the bar.
But if they don't actually know about my past then I was thinking if I should tell them about it. They say that they love me enough, Deidara more than the others, so would they really care?
"Naru…your out of it again." he said pulling his key out of his back pocket.
I finally took in my surrounding. We had made it home? I must of walked the whole way without even noticing it. No wonder why people say don't talk on cell phones when driving, because if so they you aren't paying attention and its just…amazing how I get there without noticing it.
"Sorry…I was thinking."
"And what were you thinking about, or are we going to start our relationship with a lie?" he told me and I shook my head. I didn't want to start one with a lie…a big lie. Like my family background or how my dream had been about me killing my mom. And don't tell me I didn't because I will just deny it. I knew it was bad with a relationship. And I didn't want that.
"I don't want a lie Dei-Dei… I'm just thinking okay? I don't know how to say it yet." I said honestly and he unlocked the door, letting us in.
"Were you thinking about how the other guys would feel about…us? Or was it what had been bothering you for ages." he said as we walked into the kitchen. He sat down at the kitchen table and I got a water bottle.
Now the thought on the guys came into my head. How would they react? I mean I swear they love me like a family… and maybe Hidan had feelings higher up on the scale. I mean he turned Bi because he liked me. But I would think that Hidan would be perfect for Kakazu…even if they don't know it yet. But that didn't mean that they would exactly like us together.
Pein is like the older protective father while Konan is the mother. Then there's Itachi and Sasori who seem kind of like my older brothers that look after me and care for me. Tobi being my over hyper and caring little brother and Hidan and Kakazu being maybe like my cousins. And Zetsu being my friend so close to my heart he was considered family. A big happy family that I loved. Yet they all also liked me well enough to touch me, not that it's a bad thing, but would I want that now that I'm with Deidara? Or would Deidara hate that to?
"Well…both I guess." I sat down on the blonds lap and he put his arms around my waste.
"I don't want to force anything out of you…but please just tell me why you wouldn't tell me." he kissed the crook of my neck.
"Because I…I don't know how you would react. How any of them would react. I don't want you to hate me or me to get torn apart from you or anyone else here."
"I wouldn't judge you. You know that."
"Yeah…I know that but I don't know how you would think or react and I don't want to even begin to think of all the possible outcomes in my head." I was beginning to tear up. I just know it.
"No don't cry Naruto. I wont push you any further." he squeezed me tighter and I just shook my head.
"But I WANT you to know I just…"
"Nothing is going to change my mind on how I feel about you. I was no where near you for months…just because I didn't want to hurt you with my love. But it never faded. You can tell me anything. I promise, if you want, I wont tell anyone else. Okay?" he gently kissed my cheek as if telling me everything was okay. And it really did feel that way.
I took a few breaths and twirled the water in my hand around to keep me semi distracted." I…My name is Naruto, Uzumaki. Son of the bastard Minato Uzumaki." I felt Deidara tense a bit. He knew I ran away and he must know the Uzumaki name. He knew that my father was rich and I knew that Deidara hadn't had a very good child life himself.
"Is that all you've been holding in?" Deidara asked me, once again relaxed. I shook my head.
"I… I also killed my mother."
That's when I spilled my guts. I spilled everything from my past, my family my mom, how she died, what my dad put me through. What he thought was love, his drones, when I had gotten kidnapped (multiple times) how he wouldn't care…everything came out and soon so did tears. I was crying in Deidara's chest. He didn't say anything through my ranting only saying a "uh huh" or "its okay" when he needed to show he was listening.
"Naru…you didn't kill her." he finally said after I was done talking and crying a bit more for a few minuets.
"But I did! If I didn't hide form her-"
"That wasn't your fault. You could have never have predicted that would happen, and what could you really do when you were 4 years old."
"I could have been more grown up." I said softly
"No one is grown up at that age. it's the most simple time of your life. Well…it was supposed to be. But maybe that's why you can act so child like now that its cute." He tried to reason with me.
"Then why do I keep having the same dream other than it wanting me to know what I did?"
"Maybe you were missing something in them."
"I-I don't want to h-have the same dream again!" I said into his chest, scrunching his shirt up in my fists.
"Shhhh its okay Naru…I'm here. You wont have that dream ever again okay?" He kissed the top of my head.
I looked at him and he just stared back at me, "w-what do you mean?"
"Sometimes it helps to sleep with people." He hinted and I just nodded while getting off of his lap, his arms still slightly holding the air that was my body.
"If so then be in my room in a few minuets. I'm tired…" I told him and yawned. Its not really that I was tiered, I mean it was just 10 at night. But because of my crying my eyes felt heavy and also…it was the perfect weather to cuddle in. My favorite type of weather. And this time I will actually have a human being in my bed, not just a stuffed animal or my pillow.
The older blond smiled, "You can count on it." he responded to me before he went into his bedroom and I went to mine. Thinking how my heart semi felt lifted in my chest. I mean, just having said all that caused me to feel way better. And it was to Deidara. I know I can trust him, well I think I can. I love him for crying out loud!
I sighed rubbing my eyes clean of any moisture left in them as I took off my shirt and rummaged for a new one in my drawers. But the first thing I saw was a wad of cash in my wallet and I mentally swore. I cant believe I forgot about it!
Okay so I didn't really forget…anyway the presents is what I hadn't bought yet. It was Christmas in about 3 days and I know the guys wont be back till possibly 3 days after Christmas, but that doesn't mean I want to wait till the very last second to buy everything.
Yes I have money…you really think I was just working here for a place to live? Isn't that called like child labor or something? The point is I do have some money and I was planning on getting gifts for everyone, even if I would have to secretly find a way out of the house because no one wants me to really be in public places. In case someone would notice me. AKA. My dad AKA The drones AKA Sasuke Uchiha. So I haven't really had the choice to go shopping for them. And I would of went shopping when I was here with only Deidara but…I was so effing worried about the blond that I totally forgot about it!
I really do got to go shopping though…maybe dei-dei can take me. I mean I trust him to not let anyone hurt me or take me back to that hell of my house. I sort of know what I want to buy. Kakazu having the easiest present, just 100 dollars from my savings and a nice card. While the rest are either going to get clothes, plants or Jewry. And I'm not talking just for Konan here.
I felt a draft and I shook from the cold air that hit my skin. That brought me out of my own thoughts and back into reality where I put on some actual sleeping clothes and slid into bed. I put on a loose shirt and took off my pants to slid on some fuzzy black sleeping pants only to turn around and jump out of my skin and hit my arm on the corner of my dresser.
"Holy shit!" I screamed, now panting a bit and holding my wrist, "When did you get in here?" I asked the blond that seemed to appear in my room much like a ninja. He was staring at me with a slight smirk on his face.
"Just now." He smiled and sat on my bed, without a shirt on.
"And how come you don't have a shirt on?" I asked him and he just shrugged.
"Be glad I found anything to sleep in. I normally sleep in the nude, un"
I blushed at the thought then slowly made my way over to the blond, who kissed me lightly.
"How…how come you didn't freak out?" I asked him. I swear I thought he would be more upset on my past or something. But he hadn't said anything.
"Why would I freak out? Just because your father is a millionaire doesn't mean he had the right to treat you like shit. If anything I would of freaked out on him instead." He said softly and I felt at peace.
Just knowing that he cared for me enough to protect me, care for me, and who understands me pushes me to feel completely happy. "I love you Naru…" He broke the silence and kissed my forehead.
"L-Love you to." I blushed while finally dei-dei pulled the comforter over us. I snuggled into his chest and we did kiss a bit in the dark, nothing going to far. And soon, I fell asleep.