Part 10
It was a gradual thing. One day, Liz noticed that John wasn't wearing his wedding ring on his hand. It rested against his dog tags around his neck, which she only saw at home after his shower. Then other people started to notice as well, sneaking Liz sly glances in the grocery store and knowing looks when she took the boys for new shoes on Dean's birthday. Then she spotted John coming out of a jewelry store. She'd just rushed the boys along because they were about to surprise John with a picnic.
It was just after Easter, on another picnic. A nice spring day with Dean at 7 and Sammy on the cusp of 3. Dean chattered like nobody's business about the little girl with the pig tails and too many freckles on her face. Sammy toddled everywhere after his brother. Dean the acrobat, showing off on the jungle gym, and Sammy getting no higher than the first rung.
John stayed planted right beside her, shoving food in his mouth like he was starving. Then it happened. John cleared his throat and stuck his hand in his hip pocket. "Liz, you're already part of the family but… how's about making it official?"
She let John slip the ring onto her finger before she tackled him with so many kisses he couldn't take it for anything but "yes!"
--
It was a whole day of Dean for John. Apparently, the kid had some serious questions to ask his father about what marrying Liz was going to do to their family. After which there was bath time with Liz performing her nightly ritual while Dean asked her all his serious questions. "Dad says you'll be his wife."
"That is what it means."
"But you're not my mom."
"No, but I can be your step-mom."
"Do I call you step-mom or do I still call you Liz?"
"Um, I think it's up to you." She turned to face him. "I think step-mom is a little awkward but if you don't want to call me mom, then Liz is still cool."
"And this is forever, right?"
"I hope so."
"No, you have to promise that this is forever. I can't break in another wife."
Liz bit her lip to keep from laughing. She spat in her hand and held it out to him. "Forever."
He spat in his and slapped it against hers. "Forever."
--
Liz snuggled against John in their bed. She stared at the diamond on her left hand. John brushed her hair back, peering over her shoulder at her line of sight. "I'm sorry it's so small."
"John, it's perfect."
"You don't want something more?"
"No, it's good. It's mine. My first… My ONLY engagement ring."
"Nice save." He gripped her ribs. He smoothed his hands over her belly. "You feeling better?"
"Better?"
"Dean said you were sick this morning." He chuckled a little. "He said you were upchucking so hard he thought your stomach was going to flop out of your mouth."
"Just a bug. I'm fine, now." She took a deep breath and took his hands in hers. "Two days, and it's official."
"Nervous?"
"Yes." She smiled broadly. "And I don't know why. Nothing's changing. We're still going to be here together. Still going to love the boys. Still going to love each other." She rolled over to face him. "I guess it's because… we're going to do this in the church. We never go to Jim's service. We know all this other stuff about this whole other world… and I don't know. It's just… having God bear witness to our commitment."
"How nervous are you?"
"Just butterflies in stomach nervous."
"Me too… I never thought I'd do this again."
"Was it too fast?" She rushed out. "Did we move too fast?"
"I don't know… I think we moved as fast as we needed to… I… had some talks with Jim about this… and… despite all his reservations. He feels this is right for us. His opinion means a lot to me."
"To me, too." She kissed his lips softly. "I don't think I could do this with anyone else presiding over the ceremony."
"Any possible stand-ins for the groom?"
"No! Definitely not."
--
John spent the day with his boys. Sammy, just shy of 3, and Dean all of 7 and a few months. Breakfast at the diner, football in the park. Lunch at a roadside diner, a movie. The video arcade. A full day of guy stuff with last minute questions from Dean. Did getting married mean more kids? Did more kids mean more work? Did more work mean John would go away for long periods of time? Did getting married mean that John would forget Mary?
John was more than ready for Liz to take over for a bit when they got home. The house was dark and empty. He got them set up with dinner and went about calling around for Liz. No one had seen her but they all figured she'd be home soon.
John tucked the boys into bed and got them down with a story and little fuss. Their room was dark and lonely without her. All her clothes were there. No notes. Just gone. John lay awake half the night, waiting for her to walk in. Maybe Angela had taken her for drinks and to talk her out of marrying him. Maybe she had changed her mind. He knew she wouldn't do that but it didn't stop the thought from crossing his mind. Around dawn, he started calling hospitals and the cops.
He and the boys were at Jim's early. Jim had no advice. When Liz didn't show for the ceremony, John turned to the bottle. The boys slept in their old room upstairs and John paced Liz's room all day and all night. He went over their last conversation and their last week and the last month, trying to figure out if he should have seen this coming. Nothing Jim said or did helped.
After the third day, John took his boys home and waited for a sign. Waited for news. He stopped going to work. He spent all day doing research and calling around. Angela claimed that Liz hadn't said a word to her or Stan. No one had heard anything. There was no trail to follow. It was like she had just vanished. John jumped back on the trail left behind from Liz's sudden appearance in their lives but it was gone cold.
When school let out, John packed up the boys and headed out of town, stopping just long enough at Jim's to say goodbye and to express regret at having ever pulled that girl out of that grave. Jim couldn't say enough prayers to save John after this. When he lost track of them, he cursed Liz himself, wishing she had never come into the Winchester's lives after this damage.
--
John took a pull from the flask in his shirt pocket, then pulled onto the freeway. After an hour, Sammy was asleep from boredom but Dean was silently crying next to him in the passenger seat. He waited until Dean had wiped the last of the tears from his cheeks and had caught his breath. "We'll be okay. We're always okay." John cleared the lie from his throat. "She was just a girl and girls are everywhere. There are pretty waitresses in every town. Quick to smile, easy to please and a dime a dozen. You'll see. This was no big loss. We're on a mission."
Then John had to pull over to catch his breath. The lies were too many, too fast and too easy to see through, even for his seven year old. His seven year old who hugged his father and whispered the same kind of lies back. "It's okay, Dad. She was just a girl. If she really loved us, she wouldn't have left. We don't need her.'
John took a deep breath to let the lies set in. Then he set Dean back on the seat. They stared at each other for a long moment. John finally reached up and took the chain from around his neck. The gold ring fell into his hand. It slid home like it had never left. Tags under his shirt, John started the car and sent one last look to his oldest son. "We'll forget her faster if we don't talk about her."
"What are you hunting, now, Dad?"
"There's a monster killing kids, Dean."
"Then we'd better hurry."
"Yeah, we'd better hurry up and get there." John breathed out as he pulled back onto the freeway. He pulled on his flask occasionally but he and Dean had said the last they would say about her. He ran Dean through drills on weapons maintenance. Signs to watch out for in a haunting. When Sammy woke up, they talked about the clouds and the funny shapes they made and no one even blinked when Sammy asked for "Yiz" after they pulled into a diner with a short brunette waitress. It wasn't her and no one corrected Sammy. Three towns later, Sammy stopped renaming their waitresses. 12 towns later, Dean stopped scowling at every pretty waitress who smiled at his dad and started making them smile at him. John never went more than a day without a drink.
End Book 1