Gratified By Your Company

by starfleetdream

The year they met and married. Warning: Chapter 10 is explicit. Everything else is PG-13. There is also a non-explicit version of this story posted on my author page here at fanficnet.

10. July,2229

The Healer I

At his first open time period in the morning Sarek went in search of Healer T'Alen. He hoped to get in and out of the healer's office quickly and without revealing the reasons behind his query, but he knew that was both illogical and unlikely. If he had to divulge personal information to T'Alen, so be it. His inquiry was necessary.

In addition to overseeing the health and well being of the embassy's residents, the healer had also utilized her assignment on Earth to study Human physiology. Sarek was hopeful that this knowledge would prove useful.

She rose when he entered her office. "How may I be of service, S'haile?"

"I seek an answer to a question, Healer."

T'Alen dipped her head. "Of course. And what is your question?"

He decided it was best to simply plunge ahead. "I wish to know if your research of Human physiology has revealed any indications as to whether a Vulcan-Human marital bond might be possible." His voice was flat, as if his interest was merely theoretical.

If T'Alen thought anything of the question she did not indicate it. "I know of no Vulcan-Human pairings," she began. "However, Vulcan and Human brain structures are similar. While Humans in most cases lack the psi capabilities possessed by Vulcans, there do not appear to be any physiological barriers to a Vulcan forming a bond with a Human. It is, I believe, more an issue of the Human's psychological ability to bond than any physical limitation. Assuming the Human is able, the bonding process would be essentially the same, although it would be wise to have a healer verify the integrity of the bond."

"There are, of course, additional matters to be considered after a bonding," she continued, in an oblique reference to pon farr. "Again, so long as the bond between Vulcan and Human is sufficiently strong, the challenges due to physiological differences should be manageable."

"Understood, Healer," Sarek replied neutrally, preparing to take his leave.

T'Alen paused a moment, gazing levelly at her superior. "If I overstep, I ask forgiveness, S'haile..."

Sarek nodded and waited.

"Dr. Grayson is strong," T'Alen continued, watching him carefully. "A bond has a high likelihood of success."

Sarek's barely visible nod confirmed her assumption. Healers are always so perceptive, he thought. T'Alen is no exception.

"S'haile, if you would allow me..." The healer raised her right hand, fingers splayed.

Sarek reluctantly acquiesced to the healer's request, knowing it was necessary.

She touched his mind briefly, probing for the minimum amount of information to ascertain what she needed to know. When she withdrew, she informed him, "You are prepared to make the bond. "

Sarek knew as much, but was gratified to have the healer's confirmation.

T'Alen continued with a warning. "If you do not bond with Dr. Grayson, you must see me again, S'haile."

"I surmised so," he replied quietly. She was telling him he had already begun a bond, and if he did not complete it, he would need a healer to erase its remnants, lest he be unable to bond with another when his Time came. He had been through this once before, when his bond with T'Rea was dissolved, and he did not wish to dwell on that possibility with Amanda.

Pulling his thoughts back to the present, he took his leave of the healer. "Your work is commendable, T'Alen."

"I come to serve."

"Your service honors us."

Just as he turned to leave, T'Alen spoke again. "S'haile." Sarek turned back to face her. "I would be honored to perform the Telan ceremony for you and Dr. Grayson."

Sarek tilted his head in acknowledgement. "It is I who am honored, T'Alen."

The Seeker

She found it on her desk the next day, the page of paper, itself sealed in a paper envelope addressed with her name, anachronistically incongruous with the kaleidoscope of data chips surrounding it. For some reason Sarek had chosen to hand write the piece rather than deliver it to her electronically. His script was elegant, beautiful even, and captivated by it, she sat down immediately to read. Amanda sucked in a breath when she realized what it was he had written for her.

Veh vi Shi'kar T'Aitlun

The Seeker of the Sought

— Ri-fainu —

— Unknown —

Shi'kar nash-veh du

I seek you

Nam-tor ri vath.

There is no other.

Fai-tor du yeht'es t'nash-veh

You know my truth

Ri wi trasha du nash-veh

Yet do not forsake me.

Stron-tor ri nash-veh bolaya-noshtralar

I cannot escape my essential nature

Ngiq'e nash-veh ainlar t'sutenivaya

Assuming vestments of civility

Nam-tor au goh pasut dirik

They are but a crude disguise

Fai'ei nam-tor nash-veh goh kei-aushfamalurh

For I am solely a brutal savage

Sai-vei-tor nash-veh svi reshan heh raullar khrashik t'ish-veh

Clad in rage and its violent implements

Pakik s'kashkau eh yeht-kash'es

Lost to mind and sense.

Fawak vashau nash-veh katra maut

I will destroy the very essence

T'fan-veh vi thraptor du

Of any who would offend you

Il palikau lam-tor au svi etek.

Or attempt to stand between us.

Lam gluder t'mal-nef svi plak t'au

Standing knee-deep in their blood

Fawak kum-tor wi nash-veh du.

I will still claim you.

Sa~pu-tor du plak

You wash the blood away

Samuyau du tau eh hayal du lakht

Cool the fever and calm the rage

Sahaisau du so-resh

Dispel the madness

Tan-tor du nash-veh ha'kiv t'nash-veh pla

You give me my life back

Tor du nash-veh yeht-kashik va'ashiv

Make me sane again

Kal-tor du nash-veh ha-tor va'ashiv.

Let me live again.

Yontau nash-veh na'du

I burn for you

Heh goh du

And only you

Nam-tor ri vath.

There is no other.

Samuyau du qsa'ksas ni'rchlar

You cool the raging fires

Ta shivau au nash-veh tash-tor

That I am helpless to control

Yontau etek teretuhr

We burn together

Abi' herbosh nam-tor etek

Until we are spent

Heh yi kup etek ha-tor va'ashiv.

And then can live again.

Im'roi nash-veh fa-du

I walk before you

Fosh-tor heh dor-tor nash-veh du

Protect and honor you

Ti hakiv t'nash-veh na'du

Lay down my life for you

Ek' ta ma eh nam-tor nash-veh

All that I possess and am

Katra goh t'nash-veh

My very soul

Tan-tor nash-veh du-tor.

I give to you.

Nam-tor nash-veh t'du.

I am yours.

Shi'kar nash-veh du

I seek you

Nam-tor ri vath.

There is no other.

Kup du korsau vi nash-veh

You who can save me

Nam-tor khaf-spol t'ash-veh t-du ek'wak

My heart is yours eternally

Nam-tor du t'nash-veh.

You are mine.

Even though she sat in the privacy of her office, Amanda's face burned when she read the poem. There was something raw and elemental about it, and even though the author had lived some thousand years before Surak, the fact that the poem was written here in Sarek's own hand made it seem very… personal. Personal and current. Even his short, terse, attached note — "Amanda, Translation as requested. – Sarek" — contributed to her impression, as if he could not explain the poem's private meaning any further.

If she accepted what she was reading into it as true, then she was forced to acknowledge that their electric close encounters were not simply her imagination.

Amanda did not understand what was described by the mixture of raw passions that she perceived in the ancient, alien poem. But if there were, in fact, fevers and fire – and more – somewhere hidden in Sarek's psyche, she did not feel fear. Instead, she wondered, Could I be the one to calm and cool them?

At that thought she knew: I love him. And she realized that she had loved him for some time.

That knowledge was at once familiar and freshly new, and it made her tremble. Does he have any idea he has captured my heart? And would he ever reciprocate the feeling? We are from such different worlds… But she could not deny all of those charged moments when a spark – no, a flame — had flared to life between them. Perhaps she could if there had only been one or two, but there had been too many to discount. And they had catalyzed her elemental attraction to this man, setting it ablaze.

She recalled her first "love" in high school, and various infatuations and attachments since. They were nothing compared to what she felt now; this was substantively different, far more powerful and real. I do love him, and the depth of what I feel both scares and thrills me. I've been hiding what I feel as though it's some dark secret, but keeping secrets has never been my nature.

Was Sarek possibly sheltering a similar secret – and was that what the Seeker's words were meant to tell her? With all that they had experienced together and with what her intuition now demanded she acknowledge, Amanda knew she had to find out.

Messages home

Late that afternoon Sarek strode purposefully to his aide's desk. "Sev!"

"S'haile?" the aide answered tentatively, seeing that Sarek was not in a mood to be trifled with.

"I need you to send two communiqués immediately to Vulcan. First, to the S'chn T'Gai kal-i-farr'terau: Her services are no longer required. Second, to T'Pau: I will not be returning to Vulcan at this time. I will update her on my status shortly."

"It will be done immediately, S'haile," Sev replied meekly, even now imagining the response they were going to get from the matriarch.

Sarek was already striding away.

Stargazing

Sarek sat on the hillside in the cool Terran evening, a part of him in disbelief at his own circumstances. He found himself in a position he would have thought utterly inconceivable just a few short months ago, sitting in the grass at night in a park, pointing out stars to the Human woman next to him, she leaning against his shoulder. The woman to whom I plan to propose marriage. Tonight. She relaxed against him as they surveyed the evening sky, and, in spite of his nervous system's currently heightened state of reactivity, he found it… pleasant. Illogical, but… very pleasant nonetheless.

Though the evening had begun at his request, the venue was her idea, an outing intended to afford them privacy from the intrusive press. They had arrived on this hillside after dark, and she had acquainted him with the Terran legends associated with the constellations in the night sky, inviting him to share comparable Vulcan lore.

After awhile she had leaned back slightly, to get a better view of the overhead star he was describing, when her shoulders had brushed against his. At the unexpected contact with his thick robe Amanda had pulled away, murmuring an apology, but Sarek forestalled her.

"Your touch causes me no discomfort. Please, rest," he had said, and she had smiled, shyly, and had settled against him, gingerly at first, then slowly relaxing. He found he… enjoyed the feel of her leaning against him, and found himself imagining again how more extensive contact with her body, her mind would feel.

From her position now at his shoulder, Amanda asked, "Which one is Alam'ak?"

He noted she used the Vulcan name, not the Terran designation and he stretched his long arm overhead toward a single distant light in the night sky. "That one, there. The sun of my world is approximately sixteen point three nine light years in that direction."

She said nothing, but settled ever so slightly closer to him.

"What do you know of Vulcan?" Sarek asked, desiring to know her impressions of his world.

"The usual, from history texts and vids to start, plus Vulcan language study as a graduate student," Amanda replied.

"And what was your impression?" he inquired further, for he took great interest in her answer.

"From the holo-vids I've seen, it's a beautiful planet, and so different from Earth. And you know of my interest in your culture. I've learned enough about it to know there is still a great deal I don't know." About Vulcan culture… and about you. Amanda paused to look at him before continuing, wondering if he would perceive the double meaning she intended. "But I believe to really understand a culture you have to live in it. I would love to live on Vulcan for a while someday." She looked at him again. "What about you, Sarek? Would you like to go back home?"

"At some point I will have to return to Vulcan to assume hereditary duties. Although I do not anticipate my assignment taking me from Earth in the near future." He continued, "And as for your desire to live on Vulcan, I am certain you will have the opportunity if you seek it."

"I hope so," Amanda laughed, amused by his certitude. "You owe me a trek through the desert, remember?"

Most definitely, I do.

They remained in comfortable silence for several minutes. Sarek looked down at Amanda's head resting lightly on his shoulder, an act that would have been intrusive by any other, and his thoughts again turned to what had brought him here, both literally and figuratively. He knew what he wanted. He debated how to broach the subject with her. Conveying his thoughts by allowing his shields to drop was appealing but not appropriate; he would need to speak. He could not tell her; he had to ask. She was not Vulcan; her answer was not a foregone conclusion. The strange yearning tugged powerfully at him like a tide in the Terran ocean. He tried to quell the unfamiliar anxiety causing his stomach to flutter.

His thoughts were interrupted as Amanda shivered, looking up at him. "Sarek, you must be getting cold, because I'm starting to feel a little chilly. Perhaps we should go inside?" As true as this was, Amanda was reluctant to end their outing; it had been… special.

As she spoke, Amanda felt like a nervous adolescent with a crush. Trying to conceal her emotions, not to mention her physical impulses, from Sarek was becoming exhausting. I've never been a keeper of secrets… At some point very soon, she was going to have to risk a frank discussion with him before she did something she regretted. Tonight? But his friendship was precious to her, and she couldn't bear the thought of damaging it, or hurting him in the process.

Sarek did not want to part from her, did not want her taken from his side for any reason. And he needed more time with her; he would not be forestalled by circumstances again. "It is not too late," he answered easily. "May I suggest we go now for some tea?" At her nod, he stood and helped her rise.

His hands were still on her arms when their eyes locked, and Amanda found herself lost in the depths of his. Caught in their spell, she allowed a jeopardous impulse to overtake her. I've been guarding these feelings all night and longer, but I have to know… Forgetting her vow to hold a reasoned conversation first, she reached up, fingers touching him lightly on his jaw, and kissed him. I love you.

Amanda heard his ever-so-slight intake of breath, felt his body freeze. He just stared at her, wordlessly, and she was mortified.

Her words rushed out. "Sarek, I am so sorry! I shouldn't have done that. I— I don't even know what to say." Had he been Human she would have touched his arm to emphasize her point, but she halted herself awkwardly in mid-motion. Why, oh why did I think it was a good idea to kiss him? Way to go, Grayson, she thought. Take a perfectly good friendship and mess it up with one impulsive act. She had been an idiot, to touch a telepath unexpectedly like that, and now she felt terrible for invading his privacy.

It had been blindingly wonderful for an instant, when he had suddenly felt her mind, and her emotions, through her touch – her warmth and great affection for him, desire, and something deeper... Sarek desperately wanted more. But instead he worked to regain his control as he searched for a response to her embarrassed apology. "Amanda, no, no apology is needed. I, I — it — it was not… unwelcome…" Vulcan's Ambassador to Earth was stammering.

He stopped, then took a breath to start again. Amanda waited, anxious.

"Amanda," he began solemnly once more, "I wish to –"

The spell was suddenly broken as gurgling and spitting sounds filled the air. Sarek recognized the sounds as liquid in origin but could not interpret their meaning. Amanda's eyes darted around them and she exclaimed, "Oh no!" grabbing his sleeve and pulling at him as water suddenly came at them from all directions. "Sprinklers!" she cried as they ran toward the path.

They reached the paved pathway and she was laughing now, partly at their watery predicament and partly in relief that the tension of the moment had been broken. "Well I guess now we know when they water the lawn!"

He looked down at her in question. "The purpose is irrigation—?"

"Yes, it keeps the grass green. Soaking visitors is not usually the intent. How badly did you get sprayed?"

Not quite believing that he had been interrupted yet again from initiating this most important conversation with Amanda, Sarek sought to prolong their evening once more. "It is of no consequence. However, I would like to escort you to your home."

"Oh my, you're drenched!" Amanda exclaimed, looking at him more closely in the dim light. "Let's get you dried off at my apartment. I won't have you catching cold!"

He did not protest further as his time with her would now be extended. They rode in silence, each preoccupied with their own thoughts, Amanda wanting to make amends for the awkward kiss, and Sarek searching for a way to explain that his reaction had not been a rejection, but in fact quite the opposite.

Once at her apartment, Amanda beckoned Sarek inside and went to get him a towel. "Here," she said, "At least dry your hair. And I can dry your cloak in the sonic."

Sarek removed the wet garment and handed it to her. "You are wet as well," he observed.

"Oh, I'll be fine," she said, waving dismissively. "Please, dry your hair!"

Instead Sarek stepped closer and cupped her shoulders in his large hands. "I insist that you take care of yourself as well," he commanded quietly. "Your well-being is… important to me."

"All right…" she breathed, looking up at him, heart thumping. He is so close again…

Looking down into her eyes like portals into an endless blue ocean, Sarek found himself unable to stop from slowly, inexorably leaning forward to gently place his mouth over hers. What am I doing? He was still for an instant before Amanda recovered from her surprise and moved her lips against his.

This was different than their first, abortive kiss. Amanda wondered momentarily if Vulcans kissed at all and whether he would pull away again before Sarek responded and pulled her to him, now pressing his lips firmly down on hers. She sighed and melted into him, and he gripped her more tightly.

Until this moment he had only understood this touching of lips from observation; he had no idea it would be so pleasurable to him. And it was obviously pleasurable to her. He deepened the kiss and felt her respond again, her tongue darting between his lips. Spurred onward, he continued until Amada gasped for air. Then he pressed more heated kisses urgently along her jaw and down her throat, his fingers leaving trails of fire as they followed behind.

"Oh, Sarek…" she whispered, running her hands up his back.

As she pressed her body against his, Amanda's vibrant emotions pulsated through his touch — desire, affection, more – and he knew she could sense those feelings from him as well. The raw, intense desire they shared for one another was shocking, provocative – and wildly uncontrolled. Sarek realized suddenly and belatedly that he had grossly misjudged his ability to engage in this behavior with Amanda and maintain an acceptable level of control.

Part of him knew that to continue was a bad idea; the risk of losing control was too great. Another part of him didn't care. He was too close now to touching that which he desired so greatly, what he knew he needed, and what had been just out of reach for so long. He didn't fully understand the depth of his feelings for Amanda, for nothing in his life bore any resemblance to it; he just knew it encompassed and so far surpassed the animal urge to mate that he had to explore it further.

Only dimly aware of his surroundings now, Sarek pushed her back toward the wall. He heard her moan, felt her cool, soft skin underneath his fingers…

He just managed to halt the male juggernaut that was his body. He broke away, his breath ragged. "I beg forgiveness! I should not be… touching you in this way," he ground out unevenly.

"It's okay, Sarek," she protested, weak-kneed against the wall. Her body was on fire and she was in awe of the open floodgate of passion he had just revealed to her. What is happening here? Amanda wasn't sure, but she knew she had never been more aroused in her life.

"No," he continued, his eyes closed in concentration. "It is improper. We are not bonded. I must not." In perhaps one of the greatest tests of his Vulcan discipline, he managed to reassert some control over his aroused body. He feared that if he did not, he would not be able to stop until he had bonded with Amanda – the urge was that strong — and he could not do that yet. He must know that she was willing, and that she had all the facts to make an informed decision.

Amanda was touched by his desire to honor her, even as she desperately wanted him. "Sarek—" she began again, breathless.

Sarek gently touched a finger to her lips for an instant, then slowly pulled his hand away. "Now is not the proper time," he said softly as he worked feverishly to retain the little control he had. "However, I would very much like to continue this… conversation."

Is that what we were having? "I would like that, too," Amanda whispered, regaining some of her own composure. "But first, Sarek," she continued, knowing that she needed to address the issue, "I want you to know something about me. Our traditions may be quite different in this regard, but for Humans – or at least, this Human – a physical relationship is very important when two people are… more than friends."

Sarek took in the meaning of her words. If he wished her to consider him a potential mate, he would have to accommodate this need of hers. Although he could find doing so... logical, it did mean that he would have to rely on the control that was so sorely tested just a minute ago.

"I believe I understand you," he said slowly. "Our traditions are different. There are not even words in my language to describe 'more than friends,'" one corner of his mouth tilted upward at the phrase, "other than those for bondmate."

Noting with approval that she did not flinch at the word bondmate, he stepped closer again to brush a tendril of hair away from her face. "Diversity is something to be celebrated, however," he concluded, raising a brow.

Amanda blushed in spite of herself. "I'm sure we can teach each other whatever we need to communicate," she replied with a shy smile, thinking of the possible directions this discussion could take. "But I don't want to distract you from the conversation you wanted to have."

Sarek realized with a start that it was going to be more difficult than he had originally thought to convey all that he wished to her. Still, he must explain fully, even if doing so ultimately drove her away. He turned toward the large picture window in her living area and stared out for a moment, hands behind his back, gathering himself before he spoke.

"I must apologize in advance for my poor communication skills."

"Your poor communication skills?" Incredulity coupled with concern tinged her voice as she noticed his newly tense bearing.

He nodded resignedly before he turned to face her. "Yes. The matters of which I must speak are… difficult." He took a deep breath. "My clan has requested my return to Vulcan… to select a mate."

He heard the sharp intake of Amanda's breath. Steeling himself, he forged ahead. "Amanda, please allow me to explain. This is because, among my people, all adult males must bond. It is a biological necessity." He paused. "What I must tell you now is something of which we do not speak, not amongst ourselves and never to outworlders."

"Sarek, you don't have to –"

"No! I want—I need – you to have all the facts. Please." His sudden urgency startled her.

He gripped his hands even more tightly behind his back and continued, his voice taut. "Typically our mates are chosen for us when we are children. We are each bonded telepathically to our future mate when we are very young so that we will be drawn together for marriage… when it is necessary. I was so bonded once. My people have shrouded a great shame in ritual and tradition, in order to prevent… violence and social chaos."

Sarek's voice dropped to a near whisper. "We – that is, all Vulcan males – experience a… a periodic… drive which… strips our logic, our very sanity, from us. It is the pon farr." He knew she could translate the term. "At this time we must mate, or we die. In the process we lose… all control. It is shameful. We are plagued with this approximately every seven years of our adult lives."

There was a moment of hushed silence before he spoke again. "As you know, I am divorced. My unbonded state cannot be allowed to persist. I have forestalled my clan matchmaker for several months, and now my family simply seeks to secure my life.

"It is quite the cruel irony that a people who pride themselves on the rule of logic and peace should regularly have its members reduced to a state of animalistic insanity, threatened with death by the need to reproduce," he concluded bitterly. "No doubt you find this repulsive."

Amanda was silent for a long moment, taking this all in. It was not what she expected him to tell her at all. Her heart went out to him, seeing in the rigid lines of his body the toll it had taken on him to tell her this.

"Sarek, why would I be repulsed?" she asked quietly. "Mating is a part of life."

"Not this kind of mating," he whispered, lowering his head.

Realization dawned. "This is what The Seeker is about," she said softly, recalling the vivid words, and he closed his eyes again. "Oh Sarek…'Ma etek natyan teretuhr lau etek shetau weh-lo'uk do tum t'on. [We have differences. May we, together, become greater than the sum of both of us.]'" Then she added, "I can't imagine ever being repulsed by you."

Sarek did not look at her but drew in a small breath, relieved that she wasn't utterly appalled.

Amanda wanted to go to him, touch him, somehow comfort him further, but she held herself back, settling for words instead. "I'm sorry you have to experience this. And of course I will keep your confidence. Is it… happening now, for you? Is that why you need to go to Vulcan?"

"No," he responded hastily, leaving Amanda more confused than ever. "It is not yet imminent." He paused again, and looked directly at her. "And I do not intend to return to Vulcan to select a mate. I have sent word as such."

Amanda shook her head in consternation. "But Sarek, you just said –"

Sarek interrupted again. "I also want you to know... that I do not desire to bond with anyone on Vulcan." He swallowed. This was even more difficult than discussing pon farr. As he began to speak once more, he reached for her hand, his eyes seeking silent permission to express what he could not say in words. "Amanda, it would seem I have burned my ship upon your shore."

Moving as if in a dream, she gave him her hand, trying to parse out his intent. Surely he doesn't mean —

The result was dramatic. The sudden connection flooded each of them with the surging emotions of the other. Amanda was rocked to her core as she realized what was happening. These were his emotions she was experiencing through his touch - incredible longing; a fierce sense of protectiveness; potent, tightly leashed passion; and a thick, powerful emotion comprised of pure devotion and primal possessiveness — for her. An incredibly powerful feeling projected toward her; he perhaps didn't define it as love, but that was how she understood it. His were not merely feelings; they were passions, stronger and more tempestuous than any Human emotion she had ever perceived. All of this was there in him, had been there…

Sarek was overwhelmed by Amanda's feelings – waves of deep affection, desire to be with him, desire to care for him, and something much deeper, much stronger. He sensed self-sacrifice, too: she cared for him deeply, but had not wanted to risk their friendship, and now was willing to let him go if that would secure his safety. And she wanted him, fiercely, like he wanted her. Her passionate emotions matched his own.

He was stunned to discover that her feelings for him had existed for some time. Curious and ironic, even, that they had each arrived at this same place without the other's conscious knowledge. But it is so very welcome now.

My God… she thought, staring at him in wonder. But before she could think any further, Amanda was stunned to see him lower himself onto one knee, still holding her hand in his. He looked up at her, his intense, dark eyes searching hers. "There is no analog between our peoples for what I wish to ask, Amanda. In fact, I must confess my logic is rather... uncertain in this area. However," he said softly, "it has occurred to me that it is illogical to search for what one has already found." There was silence for a brief moment. "Amanda," he continued, his voice husky, "I wish for you to become my bondmate, my aduna. If you will have me, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Taluhk nash-veh k'dular

Unable to breathe, Amanda stared at Sarek, on his knee before her. Even as she had known she was falling for him, had hoped for some portion of her feelings to be returned, she had not allowed herself to think that this impossible dream could become reality. "Oh, Sarek…" she began. Then the tears began to fall.

He rose up quickly. "What is wrong? If this overture is unwelcome —"

"Sarek, stop," Amanda interrupted him, her smile brilliant through her tears. "I love you, too." Then, she put her hands gently on his face and leaned up to kiss him softly on the mouth.

The soft waves of her emotions were pure heaven in his mind. Sarek returned her kiss, making it deep and long as he ran his fingertips along her jaw and throat. Amanda luxuriated in the feel of him for a moment, the electricity from his touch and the even stronger passion that emanated from him.

He pulled back to look at her again, his eyes a silent question. Amanda wrapped her arms around his neck, her face serious. "Sarek, are you sure? What about the bonding between Vulcan couples that you described to me? Can we even bond? I don't imagine I'd make a very proper Vulcan wife, either, you know. And what about your clan's matchmaker?" She looked up at him, slightly embarrassed by her flurry of questions.

For the first time since they left the park Sarek's eyes held a flicker of amusement. His voice rumbled low, "The matchmaker has been… sacked."

Amanda laughed.

"And I am aware you are Human, Amanda," he continued, one corner of his mouth quirking upward. He added solemnly, "I can think of no one I would rather have as my wife. There is no other. It will be my duty, and my honor, to protect and provide for you. You will want for nothing. It is also… theoretically possible for us to have children, if you wish them as I do.

"Finally, yes, it is possible for us to bond, if you are willing." He became earnest. "But you must be sure, Amanda. Between Vulcans, the bond is very difficult to break, and it is almost never done. I do not know if it could be undone in a Human. You would have to assume it would be permanent."

Amanda stared at him silently for a moment, then turned, clutching at her sides. "Oh, Sarek. There are a thousand questions I should be asking right now. That we should be asking each other."

Sarek held his breath. Every nerve in his body stilled for an instant, riveted on what she would say next.

Amanda Grayson was not an impulsive person. At least, not in areas where it mattered. She hadn't earned two advanced degrees by the time she was barely twenty, hadn't piloted her life alone after the sudden loss of her parents, by being flighty. If she accepted the proposal before her now, she would be committing her life irrevocably to a man who was not even Human, on a distant world where she would be alien. She had never heard of anyone doing what she was suddenly contemplating. But this was Sarek's proposal, and that made all the difference.

She turned back toward him and shook her head, as if in disbelief of what she was about to say. "But I don't care about any of the answers."

As she spoke a thrill surged through Amanda like an electrical current. She loved him so much; this decision made perfect sense. She had never cared for anyone as deeply as she cared for him, had never been moved by anyone as much as he moved her soul. As she considered everything that had passed between them in these past short months, she knew what her answer must be.

She stepped close again, resting her hands on his chest and fixing him with her gaze. "I have never been surer of anything in my life. We can meet any challenge together." Her mouth widened into a joyful smile. "Yes, Sarek. I will marry you!" Then she kissed him again.

Part of Sarek's brain tipped into overload at the sound of her words and the fresh waves of her joyful emotions. The tiny smile he allowed himself with her broadened as his expression lit with unmistakable joy. She will be mine!

Instinct drove him. Bending his head toward the juncture of her neck and shoulder, he gently bit down, marking her in the ancient way. Amanda gasped in surprise but he felt the surge of her arousal, too, and it urged him on. Again he marked her, more forcefully this time, and she began to pull at his robes. Passion enveloping him, he responded in kind. Fabric tore.

Amanda gasped at the unexpected feel of his teeth on her skin. More than that, though, through his touch rolled a wave of primal possessiveness – not jealousy, but a declaration, a claiming. As surprisingly primitive as the act and the emotions were, they reached an equally primitive, feminine part of her. Yes…!

For the fourth time that evening their lips met. This time Amanda captured Sarek's mouth aggressively, twining her fingers in his hair, pressing her body into his. Intensely aroused, Sarek gave himself over to the physical sensations. He pulled her more tightly against him so she could feel his desire. She moaned.

As clothing dropped from their bodies, their two progressively more naked bodies urgently clutched at one another, hastily exploring as they sought to learn one another's contours for the first time. Human and Vulcan differences faded in importance as the urgent drives of male and female came to the fore, desperate, finally, for release.

Impatient, Amanda took Sarek's hands and pulled him toward the bedroom. She had taken but two steps when he simply swept her up and carried her to her bed. The last of their clothes vanished somewhere along the way.

As he lowered them both to the mattress, Sarek knew what was about to transpire. He would possess his mate. She was not yet his wife, but she would be, and that was sufficient. He wanted her fiercely, and knew that she desired him in the same way. This joining was going to happen now.

Finally holding her in his arms as he had desired for so long, he could feel the brush of Amanda's mind when they touched. Craving that contact but conscious enough to avoid her katra points as yet, he instead swept his fingers down her body, marveling at her smooth coolness. His hands found her breasts, and his eyes lit with wonder. She gasped at the touch of his hot fingers, arching her body up to meet them. Fascinated, he explored the exquisite softness of those breasts, the aroused hardness of her nipples and the trembling, firm muscles underneath them. Amanda whined and moaned, intoxicated.

Her passionate vocalizations startled him momentarily, but he quickly ascertained that Amanda's cries emanated from pleasure rather than pain. And discovered, to his surprise, that he found them arousing. Very. He varied his touch, gauging her reactions. Fascinating… Sarek was unable to suppress a quiet growl as he continued to work her body.

It seemed as though he couldn't touch her exotic Human body enough. Her soft curves, responding to his every caress, filled him with wonder as he explored every centimeter of her. His sensitive fingertips roved down from her breasts to her hips, the smooth curves of her belly, her thighs - every part of her is fascinating — allowing the tactile stimulation to fan the flames of his ardor.

Amanda just let herself be carried away by the physical and emotional floodtide roaring through her, her hands eagerly soaking up the feel of him while he explored her, his olive skin hot under her fingers. His normally neat, if severely cut, hair had by this point disintegrated into a surprisingly soft riot of curls at the top of his head, demanding that she run her fingers through it.

She had guessed, and now confirmed, that Sarek was an amazing physical specimen. His muscled frame was lean but powerfully built, accentuated by his broad shoulders and long, strong legs. As she ran her hands over the angular planes of his chest, she caressed the patch of dark chest hair that vanished into a thin, hirsute trail down his belly, and she could sense his arousal spike when her fingers trailed lower. She gasped in wonder as she felt his pleasure from her touch.

Chiseled and strong, he took her breath away; feeling the movement of his bunched and rippling muscles under her fingers was like a drug to her senses. She reveled in the feel of his heated, intense presence and in the surprising sureness with which he moved over her. Sarek's body was magnificent, and he used it with surprising skill.

That dark, male presence she had detected before in him was clearly at the forefront now. Flooding her mind were his want, need and desire, to possess and to claim, to demonstrate to her what he could not put into words. And he was going to. She was both helpless against the onslaught of his emotions and enthralled that she could engender such primal passion in him. Her soft cries wordlessly begged him. Claim me…

As Amanda's gasps and cries of ecstasy increased, his hands grew bolder. One trailed down to explore her sex, fingers slipping inside her impossibly soft, wet depths. She writhed in his arms, her moaning more intense, her breath coming heavily now. He nibbled insistently at her collarbone and throat while his fingers continued to work their magic. Suddenly her whole body tensed and she cried out, shuddering against him. For an instant he was afraid he'd hurt her, such was the strength of her reaction, until her shy smile and the pleasure emanating from her told him what had occurred. Amazing, that she reacts so to my touch…

Amanda's chest heaved as she recovered from that first climax. Almost immediately she began shifting her hips against him again, unable to stand being separate from him any longer. She gripped his biceps tightly and pleaded desperately, "Sarek, I want you now. Please…"

Sarek's pupils flared so widely his eyes went almost black. Consumed with desire, he arched his hardened body over hers. He paused for the slightest moment to regain some control and their gazes locked. It had been an eternity for them both, waiting for this moment. Without breaking eye contact, he surged into her, her passionate cry in response a combination of ecstasy and desperate relief from waiting for so long. Then gently, he held her close as he slowly, insistently thrust further into her moisture-laden depths, her body opening up to his.

Every nerve focused on the feel of their bodies together, his eyes bright, Sarek stared down at Amanda. I cannot say what I feel for her… He wasn't sure he even fully understood it – but he could show her, as his instincts were powerfully urging him to do. Awash in the alien, but so intensely satisfying sensations, one of his last coherent thoughts was, Such a creature of her watery world. He felt her muscles tighten around him and he thought he would be lost.

Amanda gasped at the feel of him, then let out a long sigh that rapidly became a throaty moan as he slid inside, filling her completely. Utterly possessed by him in that instant, she clenched her body tightly around him, her arms and thighs around his body and her inner walls around his lok. For a moment they stared at one another, breathless and transfixed as if surprised to find themselves suddenly joined.

He began to move inside her, slowly at first, almost maddeningly so, then faster, each stroke tortuously smooth and long. He teased them both, and then quickly built to an intense, erotic rhythm, his upper body tensing and flexing as his hips drove into her. Surrendering to an urge as old as life itself, they began to move in tandem.

Amanda met his pace, clutching him and meeting him thrust for thrust, moaning with every centimeter of movement. She tightened more around him and urged him onward, her moans rising in pitch until they became an endless string of keening cries; she was utterly lost in what he was doing to her. Equally caught in the throes of passion, he dug his hands into the bedcovers behind her, urgently pushing harder and faster to drive them both to climax.

Sarek felt her orgasm beginning as her muscles clenched forcibly and began to spasm in a rippling cascade. Her breathing ragged, she cried out, throwing her head back and gripping his back with her nails. "Oh God, Sarek!"

The feel of her body and the sound of her ecstatic cries set his mind aflame, his body rushing toward its own climax in response. His whole body tightened, tensed, and then they both convulsed together with violent intensity as he erupted inside her, claiming her with his seed. They shuddered and pulsed in ragged unison, her soft cries echoing the low groan that forced itself from his throat.

When they finally became still, they simply held each other tightly as their breathing slowed, bodies softly trembling. The newborn intimacy between them was simultaneously sudden and yet satisfyingly right and necessary, as if they had been lovers for ages.

Amanda stared up at him above her, taking in the strong lines of his neck, the elegant tips of his ears, incredulous at what had just passed between them. They had become one, and she never wanted to let him go. "I love you, Sarek," she whispered. Then, "This is really happening, isn't it?"

She felt a curl of amusement swirl outward from him along with his dry response. "I am reasonably certain that neither one of us is hallucinating at this time," he murmured, his breath on her neck, and then she felt a headier wave of his want and devotion.

Amanda clung to him, trying to sort out her intense emotions. After months of build-up, they had suddenly, surprisingly, finally, declared themselves to one another. Such an abrupt change in their status did not bother her. Perhaps they had both sensed subconsciously that this was where they were heading all along. Perhaps it was the touch telepathy, the sharing of their emotions, that reassured her. Aside from the intense happiness she was experiencing, all she could feel was a deep desire to be closer, to turn their promises to one another into reality. Another wave of passion washed over her.

"Sarek," she breathed, "I want to know what it will be like to bond…"

Desire again rushed through him at her words. To be inside her mind… He steeled himself. Not yet. He was not aware of a Human – or any other alien, for that matter – ever bonding with one of his species. They were venturing into uncharted territory, and he wanted to be certain he did not bond her against her will. Soon…

She was speaking again, wide eyes searching his. "I want our minds to touch …"

Sarek forced himself to think. A logical request before bonding. And so desirable… He nodded slowly. "We can mind-meld," he said, his voice ragged to his ears. "It is a sharing of thoughts, but it is not permanent. The meld is a stronger connection than what we sense from each other when we touch, different, but similar to a bond. A meld requires continuous touch, while the bond does not." He hesitated briefly, and Amanda had the odd sense he was embarrassed.

"We will only be able to meld briefly," he said, looking down. "My control is uncertain." He raised his eyes to hers again. "You know I desire you."

"Yes…?"

He took a breath. "Among Vulcans, the greatest intimacy is not physical, but mental. And the urge to bond is an instinctive one. I need to ensure that you are not… swept away against your better judgment."

"You mean you might need to stop yourself from bonding with me if we meld?" She did not question him further; it was obvious he was uncomfortable as it was. But she was touched. And she trusted him.

He nodded, slowly sliding apart from her and sitting up. "Please forgive my protective nature. It is a common trait of Vulcan males and a particular hallmark of the S'chn T'gai clan."

She eyed him with a mix of skepticism and amusement. "So you would protect me… from yourself?"

"From all who could harm you, including myself," he responded seriously. "With my life."

Oh. "Sarek, I trust you. Please - let's do this."

Sarek's pupils flared again, and Amanda felt a twist of apprehension and excitement in her core. "Amanda," he rumbled, "May I share your thoughts?" She nodded, eyes wide again. His fingers reached for the katra points on her face.

Suddenly, he was there, inside her head. Amanda gasped first in surprise and then in amazement at the rush of images and emotions he let go through this more powerful link. She could feel his thoughts and his passions in her mind, a torrent of mental energy. She had thought that she would feel fear at the entry of another into her mind, but she did not – at least, she had no fear of Sarek.

After a moment, as if he could sense her struggling, the torrent seemed to slow down, and she could tease apart strands of thought – his childhood, his family, his interests, his dedication to his work, his unerring sense of duty… his passion for her. His mind was powerful, brilliant and intense, and it was a heady realization that the passion he felt seemed barely contained.

/As your mind is beautiful and strong,/ she heard his mellifluous voice speak in her mind, and she could sense his thoughts of admiration as he explored her consciousness. Sarek was fascinated by her intelligence, her compassion, her determination, her sense of humor, and her strong and rapidly shifting emotions, which she seemed to handle with ease. And he was astounded by her love for him.

Amanda was amazed at how right the touch of his mind was; but before she could simply relax into it, his mind-voice grew somber. /There is more you should know. You must be sure.../

The thoughts and images she saw in his thoughts became startlingly dark and violent. Images of ancient Vulcans battling to the death over mates, highly ritualized ceremonies designed to contain the violence, a racial memory of lust and shame. And then – and she could sense his reluctance at sharing these – Sarek's fractured memories of his own pon farr: wave after wave of staggering need, lust, and aggression, burning away all rational thought. No coherent recollection, only the flames of physical need, pain, and the violent emotion of a being detached from reason. Finally, a glimpse of his mind-set when he had escorted Michael from her office and at the Universal Translator celebration – astounding protectiveness and possessiveness for her, and shocking, barely leashed aggression toward… everyone else? Then a thick wave of his own shame.

The violent, raging imagery left Amanda astonished and shaken. I had no idea… What she had just seen was consistent with what he'd told her and even with that dark undercurrent she'd sensed from him, but it was still a powerful revelation.

/You must understand that I would never consciously harm you, Amanda. You must also know that I am but a primitive animal beneath a thin veneer of logic./ Sarek's mind-voice had turned suddenly fatalistic, as if he had just condemned himself in her eyes.

Amanda realized with a start that he believed she would reject him now. Stunned by the sudden and vast departure from the calm and refined diplomat she had come to know, but honored that he dared show her these darkest parts of himself, she thought back to him, /We are all just animals. It's what we do with ourselves that matters. I love you./

/Vulcans control. This is why we must. I must. To not is to fail ourselves and our race, for it is always there./ Sarek hesitated to continue further, instead waited for her reaction again, dreading it, yet daring to hope…

/I know. I love you,/ Amanda repeated, determined.

A wave of relief washed over him. Somehow her thought comforted him. Love was that illogical Human emotion, but in it he perceived her utter acceptance of him in all his parts, greater acceptance than he granted himself.

/If we bond, you will be mine and I will be yours. You will be mine because in my Time I must have you and only you. I will be yours because you will hold my life in your hands. Should you reject me then, I will die./

Amanda recognized the enormity of the commitment he was making to her, and she was awed and honored by the depth of his trust in her. She could see that the devastating cycle of pon farr, a drive she had not known of before tonight, would cast a substantial influence over their lives together. But even if Sarek were not subject to this life-or-death biorhythm, she couldn't imagine ever leaving him, ever not being there when he needed her.

And Vulcan or Human, any marriage would face its trials. Long ago her mother and father had counseled her to seek out respect and communication as well as love. Respect and communication were necessary nourishments to love, they had said, and love provides the fire that makes the respect and communication worthwhile. Respect and communication she and Sarek had already built as friends, even in disagreement. The love, hidden for so long, was a new, precious discovery. She knew Sarek could follow her thoughts, and she was glad for it. /Sarek, I will never leave you for as long as I live. I will be there for you, and I will always be yours./

/And I, yours./

The emotion she felt washing over her was an amalgam of happiness, relief, and a sense of rightness at the meeting of an instinctive need.

Sarek was momentarily overwhelmed at once with gladness and anticipation that his need to bond would soon be met and with a depth of feeling for Amanda that simply staggered him.

For Amanda, she had no idea how long they had been linked, only knowing that it could not have been very long, but in that instant she could no longer imagine what it would be like to live without this connection.

A moment later, she felt something else – his growing arousal. He pulled her closer to him, and she could feel the arousal of his body on hers and in her mind. She responded – the intertwining of their minds and bodies was irresistible…

/No. We must stop before— / she heard in her mind and an instant later she found herself sitting next to him in a tangle of sheets, blinking and disoriented, his hands on her shoulders, the meld broken. Sarek was breathing heavily.

Amanda felt alone in her own mind. Shivering, she let out a whoosh of breath. "You were right."

Sarek closed his eyes and began, "I ask forgiveness—"

She startled him by taking his face in her hands. "You don't need to, Sarek. I want to bond."

Sarek's brows shot up. "You do?" He had expected she would want more time to adjust to this unfamiliar concept, although as he heard himself ask, he realized this question was not particularly logical.

"Yes," Amanda breathed, leaning into him, and Sarek controlled a rush of emotion. "I want to marry you." This might be a headlong rush, she thought, but it doesn't matter. I love him. "About that," she continued, as she wrapped her arms around his narrow waist, "what exactly does happen next? I've never done this before, you know."

"Indeed, I do not believe anyone has done what we are planning," Sarek answered. "To answer your question, first, we will bond. There is a traditional ceremony, but it is not essential for the bonding. As telsular, we will be more than engaged, in your terms, but not yet married. Then I would imagine a Terran or Federation ceremony would be appropriate, if you wish it. The Vulcan marriage ceremony will come later, when it is… my Time." He hesitated a moment, the ghost of pon farr in his mind. "Is this still… agreeable to you?"

Amanda hugged him tightly. "Absolutely. I love you." She ran her hands across his cheeks and into his hair, tantalizingly brushing his katra points. "Sarek…" she whispered, staring into his eyes and again voicing her desire, "I want to bond."

Emotion again flooded through him. It was not logical to delay further. He fiercely wished to secure his claim to her, and, he decided, it was also logical to please she who would be his mate. And at this moment, he desired this more than he had ever wanted anything. Yes, this was right.

His voice deep and raspy, he murmured, "Amanda. If we continue, it will be difficult for me to do other than to take our actions to their logical conclusion. Are you certain?"

She nodded with conviction. "I am."

It is time, then. He would claim her now, for all time. His eyes aflame, he encircled her body with his free arm and pressed his lips hard onto hers once more. After a moment he drew back, eyes silently asking her the question one final time.

Amanda whispered, "I love you, Sarek. I want this. I want you."

"And I, you."

Sarek touched her psi points once more, and closed his eyes in concentration. He murmured in Vulcan, "My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts…"

Amanda again experienced him entering her mind, his presence strengthening and his consciousness intertwining with her thoughts along with his emotions as he sought to control them.

Sarek felt their minds come together. He gently but purposefully searched through her consciousness to find the points he needed to bond. Her mind was comfortable and so very welcome where it touched his, and he knew that despite their differences, this bond would be successful.

It already felt qualitatively different from what he had experienced with T'Rea. He allowed a part of himself to simply feel grateful for the improbable reality that, across the vast possibilities of space and time for them both, they had found each other.

Amanda felt the connection, at first deceptively tenuous, like spider silk, then growing stronger, binding them together. And it felt so… good. Comfortable, secure and intimate for each of them. His presence was there, in her mind, not intrusive but comforting. She was not experiencing his thoughts as she had before; instead she was simply aware of his consciousness. She could also sense being present in his mind, that he could feel her there like she felt him. There was no real description she could put words around; her experience had none for it. But it was… amazing. At once strange and wonderful - her thought - and familiar, calming - his. She had a feeling there was more to the bond as well, but she did not yet know how to access those additional layers of perception. Somehow she knew she would learn.

What an incredible gift, she thought.

Then she heard the words in her head, heard him speaking them, and found herself joining him, reciting the ancient chant as though she'd always known it. "Parted from me and never parted, never and always touching and touched..."

Silence fell between them.

"Sarek?" she whispered.

/I am here, K'diwa. Words are not necessary, / he echoed in her mind.

/You can hear my thoughts?/

/As with the meld, the ones you project outwardly, yes, when we are touching. I will help you learn to shield the thoughts you wish to keep private. The bond also allows us to sense each other's consciousness when we are not in physical contact./ Sarek could feel her wonder, her happiness, and her love. This is indeed real.

Sarek removed his fingers from her face, his eyes bright. "It is done," he said softly. Then he took her face in his hands again and gently kissed her.

Amanda's eyes were bright again with happy tears. She could feel his happiness, his great relief (which was quite endearing), and that stronger feeling that she knew he would not call love. "I love you, Sarek," she murmured again.

Before he answered, Sarek extended his first two fingers and touched them to hers.

Amanda gasped at the surprisingly intense sensation, like an electrical jolt along her fingertips and a flaring of their mental contact.

/This touch of fingers is called the oz'hesta. It is a touch between bondmates that is acceptable in public, and yet very intimate, as you can tell./

/I'm going to have to learn to control my reactions if we're to use it in public!/

/I suggest that would be a worthwhile effort./ His dry humor bubbled like subtle effervescence in her mind. /Taluhk nash-veh k'dular, Amanda. [I cherish thee, Amanda."]/

He then slid his fingers over her hand and around her wrist, leaving a tingling trail of fire along her skin. He moved his fingers to her cheek, along her jaw, and down her throat to her collarbone. Amanda sighed and moaned, and as she saw him swallow and his eyes slip closed, she knew this was intensely pleasurable to him as well. When she focused on their new bond, she was thrilled that she could feel his pleasure, too. Extending her own two fingers, she traced them over the tip of one of his ears – and gasped again as his arousal surged in her mind.

Amanda realized with a jolt that the experience of intimacy, of ultimate pleasure, was different for a telepath, and that now, because of their bond, she could share that experience with him. Feeling what he felt at the same time as she experienced her own sensations created a heady feedback loop of ecstasy that took her breath away. At the same time, the sensing of each other's thoughts yielded an intimacy, a sureness of the other, which made even the intense closeness of Human lovemaking pale in comparison.

Recognizing the sensitivity of his hands, she caught one of them and pressed her fingers into his palm and stroked, then aligned her entire palm with his, pressing their fingers together. She was rewarded with his shuddering breath.

/You learn quickly, my intended,/ he thought and she felt a rush of desire that was both hers and his.

Sarek raised both of his hands to hers and slowly slid his palms over hers, causing what felt like an electric current to flow between them. Then slowly, erotically, he dragged his fingers and palms up her arms, down the length of her body and back up over her breasts to her shoulders. Amanda moaned. /Sarek, please…/

Positioning himself between her taut thighs, he raised his ready body over her and locked his eyes with hers again. /Yes…/ Those eyes lit with fire once more as he again thrust deeply inside her. A long, soft groan escaped him.

Amanda gasped and then they both held still for a moment once more, in awe of the feeling as now both their minds and their bodies became one. Sarek was awash in tenderness as he held her there, relishing the feel of her thoughts, her body, what he had wished for them to experience together for so long. She is mine and I am hers. This is a kind of joy for which there are no words.

/We are k'diwa,/ he thought to her, and she understood. K'hat'n'dlawa — two halves of the same soul.

/K'diwa,/ Amanda confirmed, eyes closed with the intensity of the moment. She could feel him and how she felt to him. Such all-encompassing feelings of love and possession, both emotional and physical, were even more astounding when she considered that, only a few hours ago, she had been debating whether to kiss him, she knew that little about how he felt. Aware of the tremendous effort it must have taken for him to express all that he had to her, she was simply in awe of this man. Tears of tenderness welled up, and Amanda could not stop them from spilling over.

She sensed Sarek's momentary confusion, followed by wonder, as he reached up to touch the droplets on her cheeks. /You are not unhappy… You are in fact very happy. I do not yet understand…/

/We have time to learn how to understand one another,/ she answered and felt him smile in her mind.

Time and space stood still as they moved together in exquisite pleasure. They moved slowly this time, without the urgent need of their first joining; instead this time concentrating on every sensation they could both feel, sharing every thought.

Sarek moved almost scientifically over her body, carefully modulating each touch to what he sensed from Amanda through the bond. Every kiss, every caress set her skin on fire as he somehow pleasured her everywhere while still moving inside her slowly, firmly, maddeningly. The sensations were so intense she wouldn't have been surprised if her nerve endings simply burnt out from an overload of sheer pleasure. Instead, she whined and moaned for him, twisting her body in ecstasy, reveling in his male pleasure at her reactions.

Sarek held her as she shuddered through each orgasm brought on by his lok, tongue and fingers. He himself had never experienced such intense physical pleasure; his previous pon farr was but a blur of cloudy memories, and neither he nor his former mate had been able then or willing after to take the time to explore one another purely to celebrate their union. The attachment, the bond, had simply not been there as it was here now with Amanda. He was incredulous.

It was a challenge to maintain even a modicum of control in the midst of what they were experiencing; his breath was ragged from the effort, not to mention from the utterly pleasurable exertion. The upward spiral toward completion began again and they began to move more urgently, eyes locked together in passion. Then their bodies blazed in immensely satisfying unison as they climaxed together.

Thenceforth, nothing could stop them. The night's hours passed with them joyfully entangled together, exploring each other in every physical way possible, bodies entwined with passion and tenderness, ardor and gentleness, until they eventually collapsed in each other's arms to sleep.

The Morning After I

Amanda woke in darkness, her head cushioned on a warm, muscular chest that gently rose and fell in the relaxed rhythm of sleep. Oh yes, not a dream. Fondly watching Sarek in the innocence and vulnerability of slumber, she took the private moment to again reflect that less than twenty-four hours ago she was debating whether or not to reveal the extent of her regard for him, and now their lives were irrevocably joined. And that joining felt incredibly… right. Comfortable, she enjoyed the pleasant hum of his presence in her mind.

She felt relief, too, that the ambiguity and tension between them had been resolved, looking forward to a much clearer and more certain future together. She knew he felt this even more so for a host of biological as well as emotional reasons, and she recognized the solid weight of responsibility on her shoulders – she now held his life in her hands. But even the gravity of that seemed but a small price to pay in return for the breathless joy her heart felt and the knowledge that this was exactly where he wanted her to be, where they both wanted to be.

She fell back asleep, dreaming of what had transpired this night. The Morning After II

Sarek awoke as the sun was just beginning to light the morning sky. As he looked down at Amanda's sleeping form and recalled the events of the evening before, he felt the overwhelming urge to mate with her again. I cannot believe she is mine, he thought, illogically he knew, and he turned inward to sense their new bond, thrumming with energy. They had joined multiple times during the night, but still he desired to claim her again.

He had previously regarded the urge to mate as merely a necessary if distracting physical phenomenon – like hunger pangs or fatigue, a biological reminder of behavior required to ensure the continued health of the individual or the species. He now possessed a new opinion in this regard, especially since the biological urge was accompanied by new, confusing emotions – a tenderness and desire to protect that swamped even the want and need. Fortunately such desire was acceptable between mates, for he felt it in abundance.

The strength of Amanda's fervor for him was also a pleasant surprise. She had matched his drive all night long, her soft, slender body twisting and pressing against his as if she could not possibly join with him closely enough. The memories aroused Sarek further.

He was just attempting to calm his body when he heardthe sound of his comm unit softly beeping. Climbing over a tangle of bedcovers and quickly rummaging through his discarded clothes, he answered the unit.

Soran's concerned face filled the small screen. "Are you well, S'haile?"

Sarek relaxed his features. "Yes, quite well." He glanced over at Amanda's sleeping form.

"Please forgive the intrusion," Soran continued. "I became concerned when the security records showed you did not return to the embassy last night. Do you require an escort back to the embassy this morning?"

"That will not be necessary," Sarek replied swiftly but smoothly. Ignoring the question in his friend's eyes, Sarek added, "Your efforts are commendable, Soran. I will join you in three point five v'hrallar."

Ending the call, he returned to bed, gathering Amanda protectively in his arms. She stirred slightly, but remained asleep. Gazing at her peaceful features, he contemplated his unlikely journey to this place, and knew that he had arrived at the right destination. He considered what must happen next, and while he knew the hurdles they must surmount, to his mind they had already overcome the greatest one. They had found each other. He was well pleased.

Night Watch

Outside Amanda's apartment building, two Vulcan security personnel attempted to appear as inconspicuous in the dawning light as they had been when they dutifully followed Sarek's flitter to this location the night before.

"It will be warmer soon, Ko-kugalsu," Stell murmured to T'Lina.

"Yes," his bondmate responded, "Although this is more agreeable than the rain."

"Indeed."

"Do you anticipate when the kevet-dutar will return to the embassy, Sa-kugalsu?"

"I must confess I do not completely follow Osu Sarek's logic at this time," Stell replied with some resignation.

"Agreed."

Intercession for a Friend

It was still early morning when Soran arrived at Sarek's office to find the ambassador's door closed and Sev looking as distraught as possible while still retaining some control. "Is something amiss, Sev?" he inquired.

"The kevet-dutar has not yet arrived," Sev replied, looking concerned. "I am not aware of his whereabouts and he has not answered his comm. I was considering activating his subdermal locator."

Soran's brow furrowed. "There is no need for that. Osu Sarek is addressing some… personal business this morning."

Sev nodded, processing this. "S'haile, I am anticipating a call from Vulcan in three point two lirt'k for Sarek."

"Oh? What is the nature?"

"He was to meet with the S'chn T'gai kal-i-farr'terau in Shi'Kahr at T'Pau's command. Before he departed the embassy yesterday, he canceled the trip."

Ah. Soran pursed his lips. "When that call arrives, I will handle it."

Three point one nine lirt'k later, T'Pau's face filled the screen in Sarek's office where Soran took the call.

"Where is Sarek?" she asked sharply, dispensing with preliminaries.

"He is away from his office at this time, Matriarch."

"When is he to return?"

"Uncertain, Matriarch. He is away on… personal business."

T'Pau's eyebrows arched skeptically. Even though it was illogical, Soran had the distinct impression that he was once again a schoolboy under her harsh gaze, attempting to explain some youthful indiscretion of his or Sarek's.

"This is not typical behavior for the kevet-dutar." It was a statement, not a question.

"It is not," Soran admitted reluctantly.

T'Pau's expression was of a le-matya eying cornered prey. "How do you explain this, then?"

"I cannot, Matriarch," Soran answered honestly, although he did have a reasonable hypothesis. He knew Sarek had gone to see Dr. Grayson the night before. Although he could not think of why the ambassador would not have returned to the embassy, Soran suspected the linguist had something to do with his absence. He did not think he should share this supposition with T'Pau, however.

"I have spoken with him, and expect him to arrive here in one point five v'hrallar," Soran added, hoping to appease her.

"This is most irregular," the matriarch replied, clearly not at all appeased. "He will contact me as soon as he arrives."

The screen went dark before Soran could acknowledge her command.

The Morning After III

Amanda awoke in Sarek's hot embrace. A small smile fluttered across her lips. Not a dream, still… He was staring down at her, watching her as she slept. "Mmmm," she purred, snuggling into his chest. "Do we still need that bonding ceremony...?"

She could feel him smile in her mind. /It is rather… a formality at this point,/ he replied, stroking her hair. Switching to words, he asked, "Did you sleep satisfactorily?"

Amanda could see the warmth in his eyes. "Yes, thank you, just not for as long as I usually do," she answered with a mischievous smile.

"I ask forgiveness," he replied, poker-faced.

"Don't you dare," Amanda laughed. Smiling lazily as she pulled him closer, she murmured, "Come here, my intended," enfolding her arms around his neck.

Caressing her amazingly soft body and wrapping his hands in her wondrous hair, he did exactly that.

ooo

Some time later, as they lay contentedly, Sarek stirred, aware of the time. Before his scheduled duties began, he wanted them to see the healer. While he was confident of his own abilities, extra care in the formation of this most important of connections was justified. "My ko-kugalsu, there are arrangements we should discuss."

Amanda stretched and turned toward him. "Let's discuss them, then."

Sarek nodded. "Although the bonding ceremony itself is no longer necessary, I would like us to see Healer T'Alen at the embassy as soon as possible, to ensure that our bond has been properly formed and that you will suffer no ill effects."

"I feel fine, Sarek, but of course, certainly," Amanda agreed, snuggling into his chest again, sleepily caressing him.

"I believe it would be logical for us to announce our betrothal," Sarek continued. "On Vulcan such announcements are not made beyond the family. However, given the level of Terran press interest in our activities, it is my thought that a direct announcement may result in less intrusive behavior by the press than if we did not."

Amanda nodded, wondering what kind of a media circus they were in for in any case. "That makes sense."

"I would also like you to move into the embassy."

Amanda's jaw dropped. This was the last thing she expected from her self-admittedly conservative Vulcan fiancé. She pulled away to look at him. "Sarek, what?"

"For security. It is my duty to keep you safe. And," he added quietly, "I… prefer it."

A flurry of disparate emotions flooded through her. Remain calm, Amanda told herself. "First of all, Sarek, I will consider the security issue, but I don't plan on jumping to any conclusions about whether I need to move just yet. Second," she continued, gently but firmly, "I'm touched that you want me close. I want the same. But I can't simply cease existing as my own person." This she said thinking of what other requests might come in the future. Sarek looked confused. "And finally," she concluded, "if I were to move into the embassy, we would almost certainly need to have a Federation wedding ceremony beforehand."

Sarek took a breath. Amanda had surprised him once again. Evidently, even when a course of action appeared logical to him, it was still advisable that he ask her, and not tell her, he thought, reminded once again of their early interaction over the Universal Translator. Choosing his words carefully, he responded. "Amanda, I do not mean to suggest that I wish you to 'cease existing' as yourself. Logically, I do not see how this could be a concern. And as your bondmate, it is my duty to ensure your safety and your contentment. We should… discuss the options for ensuring such," he concluded diplomatically.

"Okay," Amanda acknowledged, a little warily. "Just don't forget I'm quite capable of taking care of myself."

"Of course. I am curious about your last statement, however. Why…?"

"It could be a scandal here on Earth if I were to simply move in with you before we were married. Even if I lived in another apartment at the embassy entirely, to the outside world, it would make little difference. The resulting fuss would probably make it difficult for either one of us to do our jobs."

"We are bonded," Sarek objected. "And it was my understanding that Humans in general were more… casual about such things." Sarek schooled his expression as expertly as ever, but Amanda could still see his confusion.

"My beloved," she sighed, "Humans are inconsistent. We hold vastly differing opinions as a group and often hold double standards. Many can easily justify in their personal behavior what they would severely criticize in a public figure's. Most also won't understand the permanence of bonding, either. Given what we've already seen, I think we need to have the traditional Human ceremony before either of us changes residences."

Sarek considered. Curious. "It would seem logical to defer to your expertise in this area. What is involved in a Human marriage ceremony?"

"Well, there are many different kinds of ceremonies. Usually, though, there are two parts: a ceremony where marriage vows are exchanged followed by a separate celebration. The first rite is where the couple is actually married and the second gives the bride and groom a chance to celebrate with their families and friends."

Sarek's brows rose. "The couple attends the second ceremony?"

Now Amanda was puzzled. "Yes, of course. Why?"

Sarek merely shook his head slightly. "It is quite different on Vulcan."

The Healer II

A short while later, Sarek and Amanda walked together down the long embassy corridor. They had walked this way many times, down this very hallway, but never had Amanda felt as self-conscious as this morning.

Not only were they going to see Healer T'Alen so that she could get inside their heads and examine their new bond, but Amanda had been mortified to discover that Sarek's security guards had waited all night outside her apartment building.

Now, their new bond pulsed with energy between them, and Amanda felt sure it had to be visible in some way – in her features, in how they interacted, something. She detected Sarek's confusion at her discomfiture.

"I assure you Amanda, there is nothing for anyone to see that would reveal we are bonded," he murmured. "Only if we were to use the oz'hesta would that be apparent."

Amanda smiled to herself knowing it was her own giddy feelings of love and
nervousness that made her feel as though there were a blinking billboard floating above her head. "Never mind,"she said with a chuckle in reply to Sarek's quizzical look.

When they arrived at Healer T'Alen's office, Amanda took a deep breath and fought the desire to take hold of Sarek's hand. She had met T'Alen before, but never anticipated that the healer would look inside her mind. "I'm nervous," she admitted.

"There is nothing to fear," Sarek reassured her quietly. "Healer T'Alen is highly skilled. Healers are strong telepaths, but she will not invade your privacy. She will touch your mind, as I have done, and mine as well, to ensure the integrity of our bond."

As they held this hushed conversation outside the healer's office, T'Vey passed by, observing them. Her ears told her that the pair entered a moment later, the doors whooshing closed behind them. She decided to detour to Sev's desk.

T'Alen rose smoothly at the couple's entrance, carefully appraising the Human woman at Sarek's side. While T'Alen could detect unease from her, the Human did not show it. Admirable.

"Healer," Sarek was saying, "We have bonded, and we seek your appraisal of our bond."

"I am honored to serve, S'haile," T'Alen answered and stepped toward them.

Sarek raised his two fingers and Amanda's joined them in the oz'hesta. "Kneel," the healer instructed. Silently she raised a graceful hand and placed it at Amanda's katra points, following a moment later with Sarek's. Amanda braced for the feeling of another mind inside hers but instead was surprised to feel nothing.

T'Alen's ageless face appeared serene as her eyes closed for a long moment. The bond she had been asked to examine, the first between a Vulcan and a non-Vulcan, was very strong – surprisingly so. And the Human's mind was not ill-affected. Most interesting.

When her eyes opened again, T'Alen looked directly at them both, bidding them to stand. "Amanda Grayson, House of Earth, S'chn T'gai Sarek, House of Surak, I declare thee well bonded. Thy bond is strong and true. Honor thy bondmate and walk in peace, so that at the proper time you will both be drawn to Kun ut Kalifee."

"Live long and prosper, Healer," Sarek intoned.

"Peace and long life, S'haile Sarek and T'Sai Amanda."

Back in the corridor, Amanda wasn't sure she felt any more bonded than before but she could sense Sarek's satisfaction. She was curious about one thing, however. "Sarek, what does 'marriage or challenge' signify?"

"In ancient times, we killed to win or retain our mates," Sarek answered matter-of-factly. "It is rare now, however."

Amanda's eyes widened. Only 'rare' now? "I hope that's something I never have to learn more about," she murmured.

Before he could reply, Sarek's comm beeped. "Greetings, S'haile," Soran spoke as soon as he appeared on screen. "I must inform you that the matriarch wishes to speak with you immediately."

"Thank you Soran. I will attend," Sarek replied, turning toward his office. "She wishes to speak to me about our bonding," he added to Amanda almost absently as he contemplated the likely tenor of the conversation.

Amanda sensed stiffening resolve in her new bondmate and turned to him as they walked, concerned. "Why is T'Pau so interested in your bonding? And how does she know already?"

"I do not know for certain that she is aware. The familial bond conveys only limited information, but a bonding is… profound. She may have sensed this in me." At Amanda's confused look, he clarified further. "T'Pau is my clan leader. She is also my mother."

Amanda was speechless, but her shock rolled into Sarek through the bond.

"I will need to teach you how to shield, my intended," he commented drily.

"Sarek," Amanda began in exasperation, "since last evening, someone kept me awake for most of the night; I've had more telepathic encounters, possibly, than most other Humans alive; have discovered your security team knows you spent the night with me; and now have just learned that the sovereign of one of the Federation's most powerful planetary members is also my future mother-in-law. And I believe you are to blame for all of it. Excuse me!"

Sarek looked down at his small Human bondmate. "Indeed," he said quietly, extending his two fingers. "I shall have to, if this is the correct Terran phrase, make it up to you," he murmured.

Amanda's eyes softened at his touch and she could have sworn he had been about to kiss her in the deserted hallway when Sev rounded the corner and their fingers dropped.

"S'haile! I am gratified to have found you. T'Pau calls for you…again," the aide announced.

Amanda sighed. "I'll see you later."

/You are fatigued, K'diwa,/ Sarek told her silently, his fingers brushing hers as his robe swirled against her. /Please, go to my quarters and rest. I will join you when I am able./ He watched her depart for a moment before squaring his shoulders resolutely and entering his office.

Discussion with T'Pau

T'Pau was concerned. She sensed a change in the tenuous maternal bond that, subtle though it was, was highly suggestive that her son had bonded. Since she also knew that none of the eligible females selected by the clan were on Terra or in its environs, his choice had to be an unorthodox one. She did not yet know how unorthodox. No one would suggest the matriarch was impatient as she punched in the call herself this time. It is logical to seek answers promptly.

The doors closed behind Sarek as he took T'Pau's call and although Sev would never eavesdrop, and Sarek and T'Pau would never raise their voices to each other, their voices carried…

"Sarek, explain…"

"I have…"

"You have bonded…?"

"Yes."

"… shameful media reports are true…"

"…There is no shame in…"

"…break with tradition…"

"…example of IDIC…"

"… a Human…"

"…my bondmate…"

"…it is more logical to…"

"I will not sever this bond!"

"Thou shalt not speak in this manner…!"

"I ask forgiveness…"

"The council is within its rights to…"

"If that is their decision, so be it."

More quietly, the conversation continued out of Sev's earshot.

"And what if the Human cannot sustain you in your Time, Sa-fu t'nashveh?" T'Pau asked, broaching the subject.

Sarek's face remained impassive. "That will not be an issue."

T'Pau's brows climbed. "Indeed? That you have obtained this knowledge is also unconventional."

Sarek's jaw twitched, but he did not reply.

T'Pau appraised her son. It was not surprising that his rebellious and stubborn character traits would display themselves here. She was not pleased with the method of his choice, and the fact that she knew nothing of his son's chosen bondmate, other than she was Human, concerned her greatly. Kaiidth. What is, is. She must report to the council; it would make its choice. Her son had made his.

"Thou art stubborn and rebellious, like thy father, Sarek," she informed him. "If the council decides to remove you from your post, I cannot prevent them."

"It will be what it will be, Mother," Sarek responded, knowing full well from which parent he derived those characteristics.

"Live long and prosper, my son."

"Peace and long life, Mother."

No Surprise

Sarek drew a deep, meditative breath before opening his office door. "I have a task for you, Sev," he informed his aide. "I would like you to draw up an internal announcement." He paused, and then gravely pronounced, "Dr. Grayson and I have bonded. As a result, I would like to inform the delegation before a more public announcement is made."

Sev was not surprised, although he sensed that Sarek thought he would be. Even if he had not just unintentionally heard a good deal of the ambassador's conversation with T'Pau, he was aware of the security team's official and unofficial reports of Sarek's and Dr. Grayson's many curious outings together, and he had heard from T'Vey that the pair had visited Healer T'Alen together earlier that morning. It was not logical to assume, but it was certainly reasonable to hypothesize, given the wealth of data at hand.

"I celebrate the increase to your family," he said sincerely. Then the aide hesitated a moment before continuing, desperately hoping he wasn't overstepping his bounds. "S'haile… such an announcement may be… unnecessary."

"Explain," Sarek demanded.

"I do not mean to suggest that this news is unworthy of an announcement," Sev replied quickly, "but rather that it would be superfluous at this time." At Sarek's confused stare, he added, "It would be illogical to announce what has already been… logically deduced… S'haile."

Sarek's brows knitted together in a frown, and Sev braced himself for the coming reprimand. For his part, though, Sarek wrestled with an array of emotions, some quite unfamiliar: surprise, embarrassment, and the feeling of being caught out by his own staff. Nevertheless, as he recounted his and Amanda's recent activities, he was forced to admit that it would be difficult not to draw the conclusion that his subordinates apparently had. He suppressed a sigh. This was a novel experience. After a moment he re-focused on Sev.

"I ask forgiveness, S'haile. I have over-stepped," his aide was saying.

"On the contrary, Sev," Sarek replied. "I commend you for your… insight. Your logic is sound." A pause. "Given the circumstances, what would you recommend as an alternative?"

Sev thought for a moment. "I recommend a water gathering, S'haile."

In ancient times clans would use the ceremony of a water gathering, the sharing of life-giving water, to come together under peaceful auspices. To maintain the peace, these events were strictly no-surprises; then, as now apparently, everyone involved knew exactly what was going on ahead of time. It would thus seem to be an appropriate venue.

Sarek leveled his gaze at his aide under a canted brow, but nodded his approval nonetheless. "Quite logical. Please organize it." He rose, his time sense telling him he must depart for the press conference for which he was scheduled this afternoon. It was just as well; departure seemed rather appropriate at this moment anyway.

"It will be done, S'haile."

"Your work is commendable, Sev."

Press Conference

UFP Secretary Min Hua had insisted on a press conference to announce recent progress on the Centauri Accord. Since Sarek had led the negotiations, he and Min Hua were to lead the press conference. Sarek disliked press events such as this; they were too uncontrollable and typically wasted much time on peripheral issues. Min Hua was a politician, however, and saw this as an opportunity to showcase her contributions to current and potential future constituents.

She issued a brief prepared statement and opened the floor up to questions, looking forward to the usual banter with reporters. She was unpleasantly surprised to be ignored when all of the questions went to Sarek.

"Ambassador, has Vulcan benefitted from your decision to take over the Universal Translator project?"

"Vulcan did not 'take over' the Universal Translator. The project was completed in a timely manner and is under Federation control. The purpose of this press conference is to discuss the Centauri Accord." Sarek's response was predictably matter-of-fact and on-topic.

"Does your negotiation of the Centauri Accord indicate an expansion of your responsibilities in the near future?"

"You would have to consult my superiors on this question."

"How does Dr. Grayson benefit from her relationship with you?"

"This question is irrelevant. I have no further comment." His voice was calm but firm. Sarek was aware of the double-edged nature of the query. To deny that a relationship existed would be dishonorable, and such a denial could easily be brought into question by previous press coverage. But to simply deny that Amanda received any "benefits" from this relationship both acknowledged its existence and opened it up to unwelcome scrutiny.

"Do your superiors condone your relationship with Dr. Grayson?"

"Also irrelevant. I will now turn the podium over to Secretary Min Hua." Still calm, still firm.

A question called out before Min Hua could speak, "Ambassador, what do you have to say to allegations that you are sleeping with Amanda Grayson?"

Brows knitted in confusion. "I do not fully understand your phrasing, but I do not believe the question is appro—"

Another shouted interruption. "Do you have a sexual relationship with Amanda Grayson?"

Enough. "You will cease to make inquiries of this nature as they will not be tolerated. My participation in this press conference is concluded. Inquiries regarding the Centauri Accord may be directed to the press office at the Vulcan Embassy." Sarek's voice was cool, his demeanor calm as he nodded once to Min Hua and turned on his heel, leaving the podium. Reporters shouted questions to his back that he ignored. Chaos rapidly descended as reporters chattered into vid feeds about the "unprecedented walk-out by Ambassador Sarek of Vulcan." The secretary, visibly displeased, hastily closed the conference.

Sarek appeared impassive in the face of the reporters' baiting on the live feed, but to Amanda, kilometers away, his fury was palpable through the bond. She had watched on the screen in Sarek's quarters with growing dismay as the questions had quickly turned personal and then intrusive. "Oh, Sarek…" she murmured.

Vulcans did not have "bad days." And in any case, Sarek would not admit to one. Certain of today's events had been… trying, however. His mother's displeasure, the council's potential censure, his staff's apparent foreknowledge of his change in personal status, and the vile behavior of the Terran press held him engrossed in a light meditative state as they returned in the delegation's hovercar, until they neared the embassy's main gate.

The habitual protesters were still there, but they had been joined by a few more. And their placards had changed. The one that had read "Vulcans Off of Earth" now read "Vulcans Off of Earth – and Our Women!" and had been joined by a new one, "Shame on Disloyal Human Whores!"

Even Sarek was taken aback by the crudeness and the hostility of those signs. While he was not concerned for his own safety – he had handled far greater threats – he was troubled by the appearance of potentially unstable protesters threatening Amanda. This must be dealt with promptly.

He swept into the embassy, stopped to update Sev and briefly confer with Soran and Stanek, and then headed directly to his quarters where he knew Amanda waited.

That she was there, in his rooms, sent a fire of anticipation through his veins even as he worked to suppress it. She is mine. It was as though the months of waiting - and wanting – had built up a great store of desire - on multiple levels - that he now had to control with great effort. It took as much if not more discipline to calm his mind from this stimulus as from the myriad stresses of his day. Adversity he was used to. It was these new impulses and emotions, ones he would not name, that were more challenging.

Amanda could sense him coming through their bond. She put her work aside and was there to greet him as he came through the door. He said nothing, just raised his fingers to hers in the oz'hesta and dropped his forehead to hers. /K'diwa./ They stood in silence for a long moment.

Concerned, Amanda probed through their bond. She had felt his concealed fury during the press conference but now only sensed an echo of it, tightly leashed. She also sensed, though he tried to minimize it, renewed disquiet over the anti-Federation protesters, and conflict between him and his family and superiors on Vulcan. Over her? She could not tell. When it rains, it pours, she thought, and she wondered at the strength of Vulcan control.

Sarek sensed her worry, reminded himself to shield better. /I am in no distress, my ko-kugalsu. Surak teaches us to take appropriate, logical steps when faced with difficult situations, and I have done so./

Amanda wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling herself against him. She would question him later. /Will you allow me to take some additional, logical steps as well, my love?/

Curiosity and anticipation flowed from him to her through the bond. Her words and actions suggested there was a high probability that they would mate... He briefly considered the propriety of their likely actions. They were bonded, and they were adults. His bondmate was Human, with needs different than a Vulcan female's. He had no intention of waiting until his Time to join with her again. It simply wasn't logical.

"It is time for end-meal," Sarek began, but found he had temporarily lost his appetite, and wondered if Amanda felt the same. I will meditate later, he thought. "Do you require sustenance at this time?" he asked, his voice husky.

She looked up at him through lowered lashes, teeth raking slowly across her lower lip. "If you mean am I hungry for food right now, the answer is no."

He reached out and brushed the surface of her ear with his thumb. The heat of it, dryness and alien texture set her nerves on edge. With a breathy sigh, Amanda ran her paired fingers from the tip of Sarek's ear down across his jaw, feeling him shudder as she lightly skimmed his body with hers. He suddenly saw only green flame.

She was starting her fingers down his throat when he caught her wrist and pushed her to the wall with a growl, kissing her urgently as he hastily began to undo her blouse. Swept up with him, she pulled at his garments until they both stood naked, staring at one another with heated hunger. Not willing to wait a moment further, he quickly pulled her down onto the couch in his living area.

Once again, Sarek was surprised by the intensity of his desire for his bondmate, and his sense of wonder at their bond, feelings he would experience for the rest of his life. The day's events temporarily forgotten, he immersed himself in the sensations of her body and mind. There is simply something about Amanda that causes my blood to burn, he thought before he lost himself completely.

Aligning his palms with hers and shivering with the intense contact, Sarek began slowly moving his fingertips over her body Vulcan-style, sensitive pads tracing every curve. He teasingly kissed and lightly bit each surface mapped by his hands, and Amanda sighed and moaned as he progressed.

She imitated his hands' motion, curious to see his reaction, and was rewarded to feel his breath catch as she ran her fingertips over his flat nipples and up and down his lean torso.

Sarek's movements accelerated as they twisted together, and Amanda could feel his arousal intensifying. She ran her fingers firmly from his throat down to his upper thighs, and then grabbed his firm backside.

/Amanda…/ he growled in her mind.

/Sarek, yes…/

She pushed her legs apart on the narrow couch, beckoning him. Sarek's eyes blazed. Dissatisfied with the couch, he pulled her close and rolled, his body cushioning her as they both tumbled to the floor. He slid her down onto him, her ecstatic cries ringing out as they passionately possessed each other.

When later they finally settled in his bed, sweat cooling on their spent bodies, Amanda burrowed into his broad chest and murmured, "'Love's pure flame…'"

Sarek bent his head to hers. "K'diwa?"

"'Desire,' Samuel Coleridge," she clarified sleepily. "'Where true Love burns, Desire is Love's pure flame; It is the reflex of our earthly frame, That takes its meaning from the nobler part…'" Her voice became quieter and quieter and then trailed off as she fell asleep.

Cradling her, Sarek finished for her, murmuring, "'…And but translates the language of the heart.'" He meditated with her in his arms for several hours.

ooo

With the crescent moon peeking in the windows of his quarters in the early hours of the morning, Sarek lay awake, thinking. His experience and his instincts now told him that the controversy regarding their relationship was only going to increase when their betrothal became known, whether or not it was formally announced. And with that controversy would inevitably come greater threats from the unstable elements of Terran society of which he had already seen some unsubtle glimpses.

As a Vulcan male and, yes, a Vulcan warrior, however peaceably disciplined, he immediately recognized the potential threats to his mate; his first impulses were to protect her at all costs. However, when he tempered those impulses with reality, he knew he could neither keep her a prisoner within the embassy, nor precipitously remove her to Vulcan. The latter would likely cause an unacceptable diplomatic incident, and both would undoubtedly cause Amanda unhappiness, also unacceptable. Hence, neither represented a logical alternative. He would have to confront this challenge here, on Earth – peacefully, of course.

His ruminations were interrupted as Amanda stirred awake. She slowly sat up and said quietly, stretching, "I'm so tired, but I should probably go home."

Sarek sat up with her. "The hour is late. You should stay." Quickly as an afterthought he added, "Please."

Amanda shook her head, embarrassed. "Everyone at the embassy will know I spent the night."

"We are bonded," Sarek responded simply. "There is no shame in this." Then he added protectively, "My staff is discreet. Anyone who fails in the slightest in this regard will answer to me." He pulled her to him, leaning over her shoulder to caress her neck. "However, if it is your wish I will take you to your home."

Amanda turned to face him. "You would like me to make this my home."

"Yes," he replied honestly, "I have already stated as much. And I believe the security concerns are greater than I originally anticipated." At her uncertain look, he continued. "Recent events dictate that if you are unwilling to relocate to the embassy, I must insist on assigning you a permanent security detail when you are not on the premises."

Amanda's eyes widened. "Sarek, that's ridic—"

"Amanda, on this I will accept no compromise."

Sarek's voice had a commanding edge to it and she saw in his eyes what his many diplomatic opponents must see on a regular basis. Inwardly she sighed. At a minimum she didn't want to be a distraction for him with everything else going on. It must have been the press conference. And even if I think this is silly, it's clearly important to him. I trust he'll do the same when I'm concerned about something…

To him she said, "All right, you owe me one. I guess we'll be compromising a lot, won't we? Can you at least tell me what is of such great concern all of a sudden?"

"Amanda, I… accept the need for compromise between us," Sarek began, even as he acknowledged to himself how unique this admission was, "however, with regard to your safety, my flexibility is limited. I anticipate, unfortunately, that at least some of the Terran population will react negatively to the news of our bonding, with unpredictable and possibly dangerous results. I desire to remove you from proximity to such threats, but doing so hastily could also risk a greater adverse reaction."

"Sounds like the prelude to the Trojan War," Amanda murmured, bemused. "So you were thinking of carrying me away like Helen?"

Sarek dismissed the comparison. "The analogy is flawed. The Trojans were
not Vulcans. Had they been, in the initial effort they would have left no lingering opposition to cause the later conflict. Rather... sloppy of them."

Amanda looked at her fiancé in amazement, casually discussing a strategy of extreme bloodshed.

At her incredulous look, Sarek elaborated, "This is why we adhere so to Surak's teachings. That against which we struggle is instinctive, and the consequences of unleashing it unconscionable." He reached out to gently caress her cheek. "I would protect thee at all costs, yet I must not destroy in doing so."

She shivered a little, understanding the truth of his words, and wondering again at the powerful forces of passion and control that lay hidden beneath her beloved's placid exterior.

"The analogy is further flawed," Sarek continued. "In the literature, Helen is portrayed as either an inestimable character or a helpless victim. You are far from either. And you are far more aesthetically agreeable," he finished softly.

As she would countless times in the future, Amanda's breath caught at his quiet words. All she could do was smile tenderly at his gesture and offer him her two fingers. Will he ever cease to surprise me – or make my heart melt?

Growing serious again, Amanda laid a hand on his thigh, thinking of yesterday's tumult. "What about your family, Sarek? Your conversation with your mother didn't go well, did it?"

"Her reaction was not unexpected. It will require some time for her and the High Council to reconcile to the idea of our bonding."

"The High Council? Why are they involved?"

"I serve in this capacity at their bidding. They may choose to rescind my appointment."

"What? Because of me? Oh Sarek, you can't let that happen! Maybe we should—"

"Amanda. Never." Sarek's voice was suddenly harsh. "You are mine and I am yours. Nothing else is of consequence."

Amanda's eyes widened at his intensity. She could read through the bond that he was alarmed by the thought that she might consider anything other than going through with their marriage. /Sarek, I will never leave you,/ she reassured him.

Sarek relaxed, and attempted to reassure her in turn. "It is unlikely that the Council will take precipitous action. No one has achieved Vulcan's objectives in dealing with Terra as well as I. It would be illogical."

Amanda shook her head. "You really have to stop being so modest."

"It is fact," he rejoined, unconcerned for appearances.

"Facts…" Amanda murmured, attention drawn to another issue. "I saw the press conference," she said, shaking her head. "I am embarrassed for my species."

"I am aware that a few ill-behaved individuals or organizations do not represent the entire Human race," Sarek replied.

"They make as if we're sneaking around, doing something wrong," she continued, frustrated. "Perhaps the public announcement of our engagement will steal some of their thunder."

Sarek nodded, working through the idiom. "There is some logic to this," he agreed. "Prior to such an announcement, I would like to formally confirm our bonding to the rest of the delegation. A water gathering is a traditional event for purposes such as this."

"You mean to announce our bonding to your staff?" Amanda asked.

"No," Sarek replied, the tiniest touch of resignation in his voice. "An 'announcement' would imply that the fact was not already generally known." As her eyes widened and her face colored with embarrassment, he continued, "I myself was equally unaware of the… deductions made by my staff. The water gathering is a reasonable accommodation for all concerned."

"Does everybody know?" Amanda ventured to ask.

"Apparently."

Well, then. I guess we weren't as discreet as we thought, or perhaps the embassy staff is just more observant than we thought. Recovering, she giggled. "Well, at least it will be a fun engagement party!"

Sarek frowned. "I would not characterize it as a 'party'…"

"Shhh, whatever, my love," she shushed him, fingers over his mouth and pushing him over backwards as his eyebrows rose in surprise. She had some things to show him. "Let's argue about it later."

Informing

The list of people Sarek and Amanda wanted to inform of their engagement prior to a public announcement was lengthy, and it took them the better part of a couple of days to get through them all. Amanda's co-worker Rob pronounced Sarek "The Man," at the news, and her friend Marcia simply said, "Told you so."

Her brother John was somewhat more circumspect. "He better take good care of you, Amanda – and make you happy," he warned.

"John, he does both, more than I could imagine. You needn't worry for me."

"I'll be the judge of that," he groused, although his expression softened. "And congratulations. I imagine planning this wedding is going to be a zoo. Let me know how I can help."

"Thanks, John. That means the world to me."

For Sarek, informing his brother and father was considerably easier than the discussion with his mother. His father Skon, Vulcan's previous ambassador to Earth, had developed a tolerance (some of his colleagues disparagingly referred to his attitude as a "fondness") for Humans that allowed him to accept his elder son's news with considerably more equanimity than his bondmate had.

"I am certain your choice was a most logical one, my son," he informed Sarek. "I celebrate the increase to the family." Even as the elder diplomat was aware of the potential pitfalls — differing life spans and procreation challenges among them — he could appreciate the advantages of this pairing as well. From his perspective, if his son could obtain with this female what he had thus far been denied, a satisfying and lasting marital bond, then her species was of much less concern.

"I am gratified, Father," Sarek replied sincerely, knowing the attitude of the rest of his clan was not likely to be as accepting.

Silek, Sarek's younger brother, could not resist taking a (logical) dig at his older, more serious sibling. "I must admit, Brother," he said, "I would not have expected between the two of us that it would be you choosing such an… unconventional path. Nevertheless, I am gratified by your creativity." Sarek just frowned at the teasing, but nonetheless accepted his brother's well wishes.

Later that day Sarek made his way to the new office of his friend, now Justice Stewart.

"Greetings, my friend," Stewart said warmly when Sarek entered.

"Live long and prosper, Justice Stewart," Sarek intoned formally.

"Ah, it's just Arne still, please," Stewart smiled, gesturing to a chair. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"It has come to my attention that there is an inter-planetary – specifically, an inter-species – marriage in the planning stages that involves a Vulcan constituent. It is our thought that a Federation ceremony would be most appropriate, given the circumstances. I have come to inquire if you would be willing to officiate."

Stewart gave a broad smile. "That is a duty I would be most happy to conduct, Sarek. Whose wedding will I be performing?"

"My own." Sarek calmly took in his friend's astonished expression.

Stewart gaped at the Vulcan for a split second before he recovered, breaking into a wide grin. "Dr. Grayson?" he asked. At Sarek's nod and without thinking, the judge clapped his friend heartily on the back. "Well, congratulations, man!" he exclaimed before he caught himself. "Oh for heaven's sake, I'm sorry, Sarek…"

"The cause was sufficient."

"That's an understatement. Let's sit down then. We have a lot to discuss!"

Water Gathering

As it turned out, the water gathering was a pretty good party, all things considered. It got off to a bit of a rocky start when, just before Amanda and Sarek entered, the waiting Vulcan guests overhead Amanda hiss, "You want me to walk where?!" Torn between the impropriety of eavesdropping and curiosity to learn what would happen next, the reception room fell silent.

A minute and some hushed conversation later, Sarek entered, followed a few steps behind by a somewhat discomfited Amanda. He took a glass of water from a waiting tray and proffered it to his bondmate. "A peace offering, my intended," he murmured. Amanda's expression softened as she came to his side, and the rest of the Vulcan delegation turned away to give the couple privacy. Then Sarek turned again and handed Soran a glass, as the most senior of the guests, and offered the traditional greeting. The water gathering was underway.

Amanda noticed her translator colleagues huddled off to the side, glancing around as if not quite sure how to act. When she took a moment to inquire of them, Wei Ming asked, "Uh, is there someplace we can get a drink…?"

Amanda held up her water glass. "This is it." Her colleagues groaned. "Oh, it's not that bad," she admonished the small group. "I'm sure you can find a way to have fun. Let's get you all mingling."

Each of Sarek's staff respectfully offered the traditional congratulations, "I celebrate the increase to your family." With each greeting Amanda learned more about her bondmate.

"The clan of Surak gains a noteworthy member," Soran informed her with a respectful bow of his head.

"'Noteworthy?'" Amanda repeated, curious. Did he say clan of Surak? T'Alen had said the same thing…

Soran nodded solemnly. "You are an unusual and accomplished Human. From what I have observed, you and Osu Sarek complement each other well. And," he paused momentarily, "his katra has not been touched by anyone until now. We are fortunate to have you."

Her head spinning a little bit at his surprising praise, Amanda murmured, "I am honored."

Sev continued her enlightenment. "There were many proposed bondmates for Osu Sarek. Although his house urged him, and there were many who would have been honored, he chose none who were suggested. You undoubtedly possess unique characteristics to have bonded with the heir to the House of Surak."

Amanda's cheeks colored with embarrassment, unsure of an appropriate response. "Thank you, Sev," she replied quietly and resolved to ask Sarek more about his family later.

Then T'Lina, Stell and Sporn appeared. Acknowledging the trio, Amanda again felt chagrin. "I, well, wanted to thank you, and say I'm sorry, for all the extra duty you've had because of Sarek's and my… outings. I know you've been out late, and in the cold and rain and—"

"It is of no consequence, T'Sai," T'Lina interjected calmly.

"We come to serve," intoned Stell.

"The cause was sufficient. The experience has been informative," Sporn added, and Amanda's face burned hotter.

"Your service honors us," she managed to get out, and she could swear the three were amused.

A few minutes later she regretted the suggestion that her colleagues 'have fun' when she heard the sound of water glasses being tapped insistently. Vulcan eyes looked up curiously while Amanda narrowed hers at her mischievously grinning associates. Someday I'm going to kill Rob and Jennreth'nu. Honestly!

"My intended?" Sarek asked quietly.

Amanda sighed and looked up at him. "An old Earth custom, designed to embarrass the couple. We're supposed to kiss when the glasses chime. My colleagues are incorrigible."

A glint of amusement appeared in Sarek's eyes. "We shall have to indulge them," he said, holding out two fingers for her to join. Amanda bit back laughter as she saw Rob and his partners in crime first frowning in confusion at the gesture and then gaping as Sarek turned toward them, one brow raised in challenge, the meaning of the oz'hesta suddenly becoming clear to them.

The gathering, with true Vulcan efficiency, wrapped up fairly quickly. Appropriate messages conveyed, there was no logical reason to hang around further. The translator crew, Human and otherwise, characteristically decided to hit the local pub.

Afterward, Sarek asked her what she thought of the gathering.

"Well," Amanda replied, ticking off with her fingers, "I learned a great deal: First, the members of your delegation are really quite fond of you; second, there are some interesting social customs I'm going to have to get used to, it seems; and third, your family is a big deal back on Vulcan and you are considered quite a 'catch.'"

He stared down at her, brows knitted. "I do not understand the logic of these statements. Although I regret if what you have learned about my clan causes you distress. I did not think it was relevant."

Amanda just shook her head and smiled back up at him. "No, you're absolutely right. It doesn't matter. I love you anyway."