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The drink of insanity, many a time I have sipped its intoxicating liquids, many a time I have suffered the hangovers of reality after waking from a time I remember not.
Family and friends die, but hopefully not from the hands of another, yes I have met death, face to face, mouth to mouth, raping my very soul, tearing at my brain.
Hands can do much; play lovely notes from the keys of a piano, control a brush to create a picture for viewers, wipe a tear from sorrow filled eyes, inflict a fatal wound upon a helpless victim, take the life of another life form.
Never before has the world around me felt so cold, it as an unknown place to me, a stranger beckoning and I the small child fighting to decide whether to take his candy or not.
The pain never ends, a festering wound spreading, bleeding, a creature within me, hungering, craving, screaming for more blood-other blood, the crimson river that flows within us all.
Everything seemed so wonderful before that night, now I found myself in tears, clutching at a cross and crying for a god that seemed to refuse me. Am I a fallen angel? Before I became this-this creature! I felt him... I felt God, I felt his embrace, I could atone for my sins and I could receive his help, and I felt him...
But where are you now God? Where are you when I most need you? Why have you rejected me? Where is your familiar warm embrace? Tears of blood fall and you do not even wipe them from my cheeks, in fact you seem to encourage them!
I feel like screaming. I feel like running to a safe place, but what is safe? Sanctuary! I am burning in a pit of fire, a hell that is my new home, and the only thing that can calm the flames only makes them burn brighter and hotter, spill your mortal blood on me! I need it! Help me! Help me before I am truly dead... as dead as an immortal can get. Stop this pain from eating my soul...
I am alone. I am alone... Oh dear god I am alone in this cruel world! Stop killing me like this! You've managed to take my heart, but why must you take the rest of my sanity? Must I suffer more?
Yes
Yes? Then let it be... I will be altered into something unnatural. Something of the gruesome sort, and I will appease you! And you will only laugh at my failures! And I will cry tears of death, and they will fall to the ground and eat away the world. They will spread like a plague! And I will make an army and I will destroy you all! Because that how it is, and I must accept this, because that is how it is.
~*~
We left my mansion to stay at a church for a few days, it was Duo's suggestion. Each day we joined the priests in prayer and each day we admitted our sins and the priests forgave us as they had been trained to do.
The head priest kept his distance from me, I noticed that he shivered when I entered a room with him, and I knew some hidden unknown part of him knew of my secret, if he himself knew, I do not know.
We discarded our clothes in exchange for brown robes, and we slept on futons in a room with stone walls, and no door only a single open door way and three small windows that was the only light for the room.
I was happy, I felt safe, but as all things do it ended, rather quickly and with a bang.
I awoke to a muffled scream and I gasped as I found Duo struggling in the grip of a man who held a dagger.
I immediately took action and attacked the man, I leaped onto him knocking him off of my friend.
He was am extremely slim man with shoulder length hair and glasses he growled at me and held his dagger tightly, "So the creature of the dammed has awaked, you will soon perish!"
I stumbled back, "You are a..."
"Vampire slayer? Yes child, of course, and you are but a curse on the world. A curse which I must now put an end to."
I looked around the room, young priests lay on the floor lifeless, the priests who treated me so kindly and befriended me, "You would kill me at the cost of innocent lives?" I looked at him trying to fight back the tears.
"They are nothing but a grain of sand compared what you will kill in all eternity."
"That's...so...horrible..." my heart throbbed in pain, not in hunger but from the built up hurt.
The man charged at me and I dodged him.
Duo ran at the man and knocked him onto the ground then held him down, "Quatre, you need blood, so why not the blood of one who has taken more then enough lives?"
I stood in shock and looked around the room again.
"Hurry!" Duo ordered.
the man let out a scream of horror as I nodded and made my way to him,, "You creature of Satan! Your kind will be wiped off the face of the earth soon and I will not have died in vain!"
I bent over him, "Who said I was going to kill you?" I looked at him sadly. "You are just an ignorant human..." I took his arm into my own tight unnatural rip and brought his wrist to my lips, "I don't want to kill...not even my enemies," I ran my tongue over my blade-like fangs and parted my mouth and sunk them into his flesh.
The man howled in pain Duo punched him and covered his mouth.
The blood filled my mouth, it had an odd soured taste but I drank anyway letting my tastebuds adapt. I drank for another minute and became full quickly.
The man was pale and stared at me in shock as I brought the bleeding wound from my mouth, "You soulless disgrace..." he muttered.
"Attack me a billion times over, just go ahead, but one thing is obvious, I am more human then even you are."
"You may believe that now, but you will soon find out the truth, Quatre Winner." he glared at me helpless in Duo's grip, "I may not be strong enough to kill you now, but I will have my revenge, and the vampire slayers will celebrate your death!"
"Shut up!" Duo knocked him unconscious with a single punch.
I shuddered and released the tears I held back, "Duo, it's not fair!" I sobbed and fought the urge to vomit, "Why do the innocent have to die like this?"
Duo embraced me. "The world is cruel, you know that just as much as I do, to gain peace even the innocent must lose lives, but they aren't dying for nothing, in the end their spirits will smile upon the world because they died for it, and they died for a good reason."
I looked into Duo's eyes, "You have so much hope...but I have none."
"God is with you, God is with us all, even if you feel that he has betrayed you he will always be beside you, he may be silent and he may appear unloving, but nothing is greater then Gods love."
"And nothing is greater then Gods rejection..." I whispered.
"Shhh..." he rubbed my back calming me.
"What are you?" a voice echoed from across the room.
I looked over to see a young priest who lay in a small puddle of his blood, "You're alive?"
"Surprisingly," he replied and sat up, "I am stabbed, the man was careless when he got to me." he felt his wound, "I saw everything, what are you?"
I looked at Duo who nodded at my thoughts, "I'm a vampire," I admitted.
"I figured that..." the young priest sighed.
"Please can you tend to this mans wounds, we must be going, please tell the police what really happened, just don't tell them my secret." I asked.
He nodded, "I always imagined vampires as unkind things and vampire hunters as something of the kind sort, but I guess that is only false thinking. I wont tell your secret, and I will help this man, despite the fact that he's taken so many lives."
I nodded satisfied, "Thank you."
Duo stood up and gave me a hand as I got to my own feet.
We left the church and walked slowly up the quiet streets, we were still in our priest robes, I sniffled and wiped my tears as Duo kept me against him as we walked.
A single car drove toward us then stopped as it came beside us, the window opened and a beautiful woman peered out, her hair was all in braids and she wore a pair of sunglasses which seemed odd since it was in the late hours of the night.
"Are you two okay."
We nodded.
"Discard of your clothes and get in." she ordered.
Duo and I looked at each other then did as she said and she opened the door of the car and we got in.
We were naked as we got in and trying to cover up our dignity.
"Don't say anything, milord, I am like you, we are going to the sanctuary now, you are safe there."
We nodded in answer.
"You both should rest, I will wake you when we get there."
We were obedient, but it wasn't hard to do, we were exhausted, so we slipped into sleep quickly.