So apparently everyone's depressed now? OK, whatever. I'm doing updates~! Be happy that I do fast updates~ :D
/=+=/
Kiku watched as Feliciano came walking in with a chirp in his voice, jumping toward Gilbert and Elizabeta and walking into the kitchen without a care in the world. He turned his head around and saw Heilrich walking into the house with his head down and at the verge of crying.
"Ludwig…"
"I know the truth now."
"Pardon me?"
"Everything…Feliciano trusted me only because I looked like my former self." He looked up. "He thought I was a good second place for Holy Roman Empire…"
"Ludwig…"
"I knew he was clingy towards people…but I never thought I would be affected like this…" Heilrich looked up. "What am I supposed to do now…?"
"…for now, let the shock sink in." Kiku answered. "We're still trying to contact Arthur, so you'll be back to normal soon enough."
Heilrich lowered his head in a small nod as Kiku led him back to the dining room. It's true that he's both Holy Roman Empire and Germany, but the fact that Feliciano chose him because of his appearance stabbed him in the heart harder than all the wars in the world combined. Nothing could compare to what he was feeling right now, not even when he lost contact with his brother for twenty-eight years (and that hit him HARD, mind you).
The truth is, he began to question whether or not he should even turn back.
/=+=/
He collapsed on the bed in his room, looking up to the cold dark ceiling that seemed to mock him. This morning, he had been told that the man he truly loved had loved him back. That evening, he had been told that his true identity had been used by Feliciano to fill in a hole in his heart.
He can't tell if he should be happy or depressed.
Feliciano, I understand why you did this. Being in love means trying your best to fill in the gap in your life… Heilrich turned his head. But this is my problem now…what am I going to do?
The both of them loved Feliciano. Feliciano only loved one of them. He couldn't tell if his heart was jumping for joy or ripping itself apart. All he knew was that he was going to cry about something that was stirring deep inside his immortal soul. Who was he now? Who does he want to be now…?
Ludwig, what are you doing? What are you going to tell your boss? You can't let your emotions get the best of you…you have to work this out…you have to turn back to normal…
He could imagine it now: him back to normal walking into the meeting halls and doing important jobs as if nothing has changed. But on the other side, Feliciano would be crying nonstop. Why wouldn't he be: he had just confessed his heart and soul to Holy Roman Empire and he was just going to disappear on him…?
No, he couldn't do that. He just couldn't.
Feliciano did not deserve that. He never did.
But if he were to consider the other possibility, if he were to stay Holy Roman Empire for the rest of his days, his country would suffer…or would it? He hasn't heard any news from his boss about anything major happening in Deutschland that needed his attention immediately, and by the looks of it, the younger nations are the ones developing at a faster rate. And Feliciano would still be happy, right…?
He would still be happy…but would I…?
That was the night that he had cried himself to sleep.
/=+=/
He had no idea how, but two days had passed since that day. He had been with Feliciano for quite some time, and he couldn't help but be happy about each moment. Just yesterday, in fact, Feliciano had tried to teach him how to paint again. Since he had tried this before while he was Ludwig, it was somewhat easy for him to know what he was talking about.
"Hahaha…you still can't draw, even after all this time."
"I'm trying, Feliciano…" He stressed. "I just don't have the talent you have…"
"Ve~~~you'll get it eventually! We have all the time in the world!"
Yes…yes we do…
Heilrich smiled at Feliciano as he started painting the daisies in front of him. He recalled that they were the national flower of Italy, just as beautiful as he was. No…those flowers were nothing compared to Feliciano's beauty. Nothing can be close to him. Nothing…
"Ve~~~!"
"E-eh? What?"
He looked down and realized that he had just written Veneziano in the most cursive looking writing in the world. It wouldn't be bad if it hadn't been for one thing: he wrote it in exactly Ludwig's handwriting. He froze and panicked, causing Feliciano to laugh. It was a calming laugh.
"Your handwriting has improved, Heilrich~!"
"Yeah…I had experience." Phew, that was close.
/=+=/
Feliciano had volunteered to make lunch with Kiku and Charice. Of course Heilrich had to come along, since he knew how to cook a little bit and they wanted German food today. As Feliciano and Charice worked hard on their food, he felt his OCD annoy him from the bowels of his mind. Before he knew it, he found himself cleaning everything and anything that the both of them had touched. Kiku couldn't help but laugh at Heilrich's attempts to hold himself back.
"Ve~~~~you're so clean, Heilrich!"
"I-it's a bad habit, isn't it?" He said, completely embarrassed.
"I don't think it's that bad~!" Charice laughed. "I mean, it reminds me of Doitsu-ki a little bit!"
Everyone froze. Charice just brought up the taboo word. She stared to panic, hoping from the back of her mind that Feliciano doesn't take his name and automatically sum up everything that happened over the past three days (cause there's always weirder things going on). Instead, he stared at all of them with a blank look on his face.
"Ve~? Who's Doitsu-ki?"
Everyone froze again. Heilrich almost dropped the rag he was holding. Charice looked at him in confusion.
"Doitsu-ki! You know…Ludwig? The tall German guy that you loved to cling onto?" She said, gesturing (more like exaggerating) his height.
"O-oh! Doitsu! I remember now!" Feliciano laughed. "I can't believe I forgot him! Sorry."
Heilrich just wanted to cry right then and there. But he held himself back, choked back a sob, and continued to let his OCD run him to the extreme. It was the only distraction that seemed to be working.
/=+=/
The next day, Heilrich found himself waking up earlier than everyone else in the house. He found himself chuckling like a child, deciding that he was going to treat everyone with something he never did before: make some cupcakes. Sure, it was embarrassing when he was Ludwig, but he could pull it off as Heilrich, right?
He snuck down to the kitchen and quickly got down to work, finding himself in a strange sense of childish glee that he was going to do something for Feliciano (he already knew that Charice was going to be ecstatic about the sound of sweets). Before the first riser even came up, he had already finished it: chocolate cake, German style.
"My goodness, Doitsu…did you sleep at all last night?"
"Eh? Oh, Kiku!" He turned around. "Of course I did. I woke up early and I couldn't go back to sleep, so I decided to make an early dessert."
"And you OCD'ed all over the kitchen too. I wasn't expecting anything less out of you, Ludwig." Kiku took a small taste. "It's not bad. I can't wait to hear the other's reactions when-"
"CAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEE!"
He didn't have too. Charice plastered herself on the doorway with a hungry look on her face, scaring the poor German out of his body and back again. The others came in slowly afterward, wondering just what in the world was screaming like a nutcase. That's when they saw the cake.
"YES! CAKE FOR BREAKFAST! This is almost as awesome as me~!" Gilbert grabbed a taste and began devouring his piece.
"Ve~~~? Who's screaming…?" Feliciano peeked in. "What's going on?"
"Heilrich made us cake~!" Elizabeta chirped.
"Aw yeah! Total German awesomeness!" Gilbert grinned. "Just as good as West's cake!"
"W-West? Who's that?"
Everyone turned their heads to Feliciano, who had a completely serious look on his face. Heilrich's face fell yet again.
"Doitsu-ki, Feliciano~!" Charice stated. "Ludwig~!"
"…o-oh yeah…" He remembered. "I can't believe I forgot again…"
Kiku turned his head toward Heilrich, who held his head and rubbed his forehead in worry. This wasn't happening to him, was it?
/=+=/
That night, he found himself sitting down on the hills, looking up to the star-riddled sky above him. He heard footsteps behind him, but he didn't bother to turn his head to see Roderich standing right next to him. He had a serious look on his face.
"Feliciano forgets everything, you know." He stated. "Don't let it trouble you."
"But he never forgot me before." Ludwig turned his head. "Why is it bothering me now…?"
"Because you still love him." Roderich looked away. "I remember acting similar to you right now, when my marriage with Elizabeta was annulled."
"How did you get over it…?"
"…I haven't. It still hurts, even now."
They both sat there in silence, staring at the sky and thinking about how their immortal lives had found thousands of ways of screwing them over. After a while, Heilrich sat up and looked down to his hands.
"Feliciano would surly get hurt if you turned back to normal."
"…I know…"
"But your standing with the other nations would suffer if you stayed in this form."
"…I know…"
"So it all comes down to wondering what do you want. No one can hold that against you."
"…I want Feliciano to be happy."
"Even at the cost of your nation…?"
"My nation will not suffer. Everyone knows that Germany will rise from the thousands of ashes that it has burned up into…" He looked up. "I will stay."
"Stay as…?"
"…Holy Roman Empire." Ludwig answered. "I will stay as Holy Roman Empire, for Feliciano's sake."
"And what if Feliciano misses you…?"
"He has me now. He won't miss Ludwig…"
"And what if you're wrong…?"
"…we have all of eternity to find out."
~*Ring*~
~*Ring*~
~*Ring*~
~*Ri-
~*[Hello. This is Ludwig's cell phone at 732-***-****. I'm not available right now, so please leave your name and message after the beep. I'll make it my upmost duty to return your call when I can.]*~
~*BEEP*~
*sob*
*sob sob*
"Ludwig…? Are you there…? It's been four whole days and you haven't answered…where are you…?"
"Ludwig…where are you…?"
/=+=/
Kiku walked through the hallways with his blanket in hand, ready to just call it the night. He had way too much going on and since Alfred and Rizal were still unable to locate Arthur, it was another day of turmoil for the poor German nation. For some reason, Feliciano doesn't seem to be remembering his other friend.
None of this makes any sense. Was it not a few decades ago that the three of us had walked together in war, willing to die for each other? He looked up. Since when did he suddenly forget everything about him…?
He passed Feliciano's door and found it to be cracked open slightly. As he approached it, he was surprised to hear that someone was crying in the inside. He took a slow peek inside and found Feliciano sitting at the side of the bed, crying in the sheets unable to speak.
And in his hand was an open cell phone.
/=+=/
This is going to be the shorter of my fanfiction, so if you hadn't realized it, I'm already nearing my end~! Does any of this feel rushed to you? Tell me, and I'll slow it down. I got a Plan B, you know :D