Chapter 10 -Mistakes.
Dougie. (A/N this is what was happening at the same time Shay was at her party.)
The days seemed to all blur together that week after rehearsal. Danny was cool with me since I decided to set things straight with you. You seemed to forgive me enough too, so my life was about as balanced as it was going to get at this point.
And then I got the call from Tom. The call that was saying we had gotten the house and I could move in anytime I wanted.
"No way! Dude, that's great!" I told him, "But...uh...I gotta clear it up with my parents first."
"Sure," he said, "That's cool. Just come out here whenever you can, the house is great."
I sighed. My parents.
"Absolutely not." my father told me.
"Dad, why!?" I asked him, "Don't you care that this is a major opportunity for me and the guys? Don't you get it?"
"No, I understand," he told me, "And I really am excited for you. But you can go over there to rehearse and to hang out. But you aren't moving out at age fifteen. There's no way."
"Mom!" I turned to my mother, but she just looked at the floor. "Mom tell him he isn't being fair! Tell him I should be allowed to move in with the band!"
"Dougie...he's right." she whispered. I stood up and stormed up the stairs, "I hate you guys..." I mumbled.
And then the fighting started up again. It was worse than before. I tired to drown it out, but it didn't work. I couldn't exactly tell what they were fighting about, but I got the gist of it. It was about me.
My mom really thought it would be a good idea to let me move out, after all it was only a few blocks away. But my dad wouldn't budge. And the fact he was out getting drunk didn't help matters when my mom tried to reason with him.
By the weekend I had eventually gotten so fed up with the entire thing that I decided I needed some way out of it. My phone rang that weekend, I wasn't exactly sure what day it was. Every day kind of ran together.
"Hello?" I asked tiredly.
"Dougie, it's Leah. Listen, you seemed kind of upset the other day at practice. Is everything all right?" she asked me.
"You know what....no. It's not." I answered truthfully.
"You want to talk about it?" she asked, leaving me a choice, not forcing me to say anything.
"No. Actually, I want to go out tonight. Get my mind off some things. Care to join me?" I asked her. She laughed, "Sure Dougie. What time should I pick you up?" we both laughed at this considering she was the only one of us who could drive for the time being.
"Anytime you want. Sooner would be better, though." I told her.
Leah came around my house at 5. Her parents weren't home so we decided we would go back to her place for a while. She invited a few other kids, some people I didn't know. I didn't care though. It wasn't until around 6 that some kids pulled out a few bottles of beer.
"Thirsty, Doug?" One of the kids asked me. I nodded, "Sure."
Dougie, don't do this. A voice in the back of my head told me. It sounded a lot like you, Shay. I shook it out of my head and took a sip. The voice kept talking. Telling me not to do this. Telling me it was a mistake. I figured a few more beers and the voice will fade.
It never did.
After a while I was pretty out of it. I was having a good time, or so I thought, but the voice in my head never really faded. Leah had a few drinks as well, but not nearly as many as me. She was probably the only one of us there who hadn't completely lost their mind to alcohol. But in any case, she didn't try to stop any of the dumb stunts I decided to pull. She didn't try to stop me as I shoved my tongue halfway down her throat. For all I knew she wanted me to.
It didn't hit me until later that she was taking advantage of me.
"Come on," I mumbled into her mouth, the two of us were lying on the couch, "I know somewhere we can go,"
We walked back to her car and I directed her back to the McFLY house. no one was home there. They shouldn't be home for a while either.
We both stepped out of the car, our lips glued to each other. She fall back against the front door and I blindly tried to fit the key in the lock. When I had it, I twisted it hard to the side, then opened the door. I led her up the stairs and into the spare bedroom. The room I was supposed to move into. I was too far gone to even remember I wasn't supposed to be here. I was too far gone to remember I had somewhere else to be.
Because at the time, my only goal was to get some action that night. My only goal was to drown my problems in booze and get laid. I never once thought of you.
Leah fell back onto the perfectly made bed pulling me down on top of her. Her hands found my belt pulling it through eat loop, then unbuttoning the three quarter pants I had always worn.
Dougie stop! you warned me in the back of my mind, It doesn't have to be like this!
All I could think of was being the friction in her jeans. I ignored you. Soon her soft hands were on my boxers and she pulled them to my ankles. I kicked them off. Suddenly it hit me. Until that exact moment, I didn't know what I was doing. And then the situation hit me like a wave. I was completely naked on top of some girl I have barely known. But you know what? I continued anyway, despite what you were saying.
The door opened downstairs. Harry and Tom were home. Before I could say anything, The door opened and Harry's head peeked in.
"Oh, shit sorry Dougie!" he slammed the door. I rolled my eyes, "Sorry bout that."
"No worries," she smiled. Her hand tangled into my hair.
Soon, there was more talking downstairs. I tried to ignore it. I tried so hard to just live the moment and not think of anything else. But there was pounding on the door. That I couldn't ignore. I sighed and pushed myself off the bed, "Sorry. Hold on."
I made my was across the room and opened the door a small crack. The light flooded in, hurting my eyes. It took a while for them to adjust. And when they did I saw you standing there, crying. I ran my hands through my hair, "Fuck,"
And you were gone before I could apologize.
I should have listened to you. I was so far gone that I didn't hear anything you said. I was stupid enough to wait until you saw for yourself what I had been doing. You didn't deserve to see that. You didn't deserve any of it.
There was no way you were going to forgive me for this.