Sorry for the long wait. Life has really been crazy lately but I appreciate every single one of you who take the time to read my fanfic. Review/Like/Follow and I will try to do better at updating more often. Back to school tomorrow so no promises, but I will do my best to post at least twice a week. XOXO.

Love is Weakness

"Look at all this weakness." Clarke said sitting herself up right, feeling the slight burn in her back from the wounds that still were not completely healed.

Lexa jumped at the sound of Clarke's voice, she had let her guard down and had been allowing herself to fall apart in the one place that no one would look for her. However she could tell that the whipping had done nothing to change Clarke's attitude. Lexa wiped at her eyes and just glared at Clarke.

"Love is weakness, don't want any of your warriors finding you down here Commander. They may start thinking that you actually have a heart."

"You would be dead if I didn't have a heart, Clarke." Lexa fired back at her.

"I would've rather been dead then in the presence of you." Clarke saw the hurt behind Lexa's eyes but she couldn't show weakness, not so soon.

"You don't mean that. You and I both know if you were to ever die at the hands of my people then we would be opening the doors to a massive war with the sky people. You were the one always saying how sick of war you are yet you almost started one. You point out my weakness' but you are the weak one Clarke." Lexa actually saw the hurt flash across Clarke's face as the words left her lips and traveled right into the heart of Clarke.

"I am anything but weak after all the bullshit you have put me through." Clarke was biting back the tears at the corners of her eyes as she remembered all the things that had happened over the past months.

"Im sorry…" Clarke however was at her breaking point and she didn't want to hear any more 'I am sorry' from anyone; this included the commander.

"No don't you dare say you are sorry. I have cried every single night since Poli. I have pushed away my closest friends and I have changed as a person. I became the person that I never wanted to be. I was a healer and now Im just a cold hearted killer." Clarke wiped at her eyes so the tears wouldn't spill down her cheeks.

"Clarke you knew as Heda that I can't be weak and settle down with anyone. It was extremely rare for any Heda to mate. We spend our lives alone so the people we love wont be put in danger. I made the mistake once with Costia and it cost her, her life and I wont allow that to happen to you."

"Then why become close with me? Why fall asleep in bed with me? Why help me? Why everything? WHY FUCKING LET ME FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU IF YOU HAD NO INTENTIONS OF EVER LOVING ME BACK! YOU FUCKING BITCH." Clarke rushed at Lexa tackling her into the furs she had been laying in. Clarke then started to wail on her, left, right, left, right. Hit after hit until she felt Lexa wrap her arms around her and hold her still until she stopped struggling and just collapsed into her arms in tears. "I hate you Lexa. I hate you for what you did to me. However I can't hate you I want to hate you so bad but it's seemingly impossible. How could you do this to me? How could you make me love you then take another girl to your bed?"

"That was wrong of me Clarke. It was so very wrong of me. It hurts me to know that all of this hurt is caused by me. That I am one of the main reasons you are hurting so badly right now, that you have lost sight of your true being. I haven't felt this way towards anyone ever… not even Costia. It's different with you, it's like our souls have found peace with each other, and it's something that I absolutely cannot do. It hurt me to whip you Clarke, ever hit I had to do I wanted to break down right there. I wanted to pull you off the pole and hold you close, I wanted to reassure you that all would be okay. But you know you put me in that situation, you wanted to put me in that situation." Lexa was rubbing Clarke's back as her crying slowed.

"You don't get it. I wanted you to kill me so badly. It was so selfish of me but apart of me knew it would cause you pain to do it and I wanted you to feel the way I did. The way I did when I walked into your room to you with that… that bitch." Clarke refused to even speak her name.

"That was wrong of me. I was trying to self destruct us… because I knew that us wouldn't be possible." Lexa said. Clarke sat up straight and grabbed her own furs off the ground wrapping them around her. The prison was getting colder and colder every single day.

"But we can be possible. You just are afraid. You are a coward." With that Clarke got up and stalked to the opposite end of the cell sitting in the corner staring directly at Lexa as she sat down.

"I do this because of your safety and my own Clarke. Please be reasonable, I would do anything for you." Lexa bit her tongue just as she let the last part escape, there she was going again saying things that she probably wouldn't be able to follow through with; especially depending on the demands Clarke may make.

"You know you cant do anything I ask of you, because I would ask you to prove to me that you can be with me, only me. Prove to me that you care about me. Prove to me that you feel even a slither of the amount I feel towards you towards me. You act like by not being with me is keeping any sort of secret about what has been going on between us. Everyone can see it, some of my people even know about it. Regardless if we are public about it or not people talk Lexa, people talk and I will be the first target for them to hit to get closer to you. I am the closest person to you outside of your personal guards and close warriors such as Indra. I am the person to hurt to hurt you, this is no secret." Clarke had her arms crossed and Lexa could feel the holes she was staring right through her.

"Clarke… I just… If anything were to ever happen to you I would never be able to forgive myself. The more public things get the more dangerous things will become."

"Did you ever stop to ask me what I wanted? Because I hate to break it to you Lex but every single day that Im not holed up in this cell I am in danger. Whether it be by some animal, or a human being. It could even be by just a natural sickness. Every single day Im at risk and you can either stand by my side and risk it together or you can stay the hell away from me." Clarke could feel the anger once again bubbling inside her.

"Its not as easy as your making this all sound. There will be many questions from the clan leaders especially since a Heda hasn't taken a mate in many, many years. There will also be much wondering as to why it was a sky girl and not someone of our people. There will be other people besides the ice nation that will target you just because of your relationship to me or because they hate the idea of their heda being with a girl from the sky. There are so many cons to this. You already know this though." Lexa let her eyes scan over Clarkes shaking body. She was obviously freezing, she would definitely be getting Clarke out of here today before she gets sick so she can finish healing and go to where she pleases.

"I am giving you two options Lexa and this is final. So think hard before you give me my answer, I will expect my answer however by sunrise tomorrow. You can either be with me and we can fix everything that has been so fucked up this past month and a half OR you choose to leave me. In this 'leaving me' part that means we have absolutely no communication what so ever unless a war arises and you need help from our alliance. All trades and deals will be made through Marcus, you will never see me or hear from me unless it's for battle and even then I will make it a point to stay as far away as possible." Clarke continued to glare at her, except a huge pit in her stomach was forming because every part of her being wanted her to pick the first choice but she knew the second was a bigger possibility.

"Clarke…" However before Lexa could let out another word Clarke cut her off again.

"No commander, don't answer now. Give me your answer tomorrow, sleep on it so I know you thought about it and you are sure. Now may I please get out of this ice box and sleep in a tent with an actual fire not just some hot coals tonight?" Clarke asked standing slowly as her back was beginning to ache with her furs wrapped tightly around her.

"Yes you can stay with Kiera tonight. She has been very upset with me and has been nagging the warriors about what they have heard about you and how you are doing. She will be pleased to see you again." With that Lexa turned and walked through the cell door leaving it open for Clarke to follow. "I will meet you in my tent tomorrow morning at sunrise."

Clarke slowly walked to Kiera's tent. She was sore in all different places and her back was beginning to itch from the healing and stretching of the scabbed over skin. Before Clarke was even 10 feet from the tent Kiera dashed out to embrace her.

"Ow." Clarke said as Kiera released her looking extremely apologetic. "It's okay K im just sore from that damn cell and the lovely whipping I got." Kiera then grabbed her arm and led her to the tent that was much warmer than her freezing cell. Kiera had two fires going and began reading the bath for Clarke.

"Hop in and relax while I go get Nyko to help your back and anything else that is hurting you." With that Kiera dashed out and Clarke let herself submerge in the tub and loosing herself in the warmth.

Back at Camp Jaha: (In the council meeting hall.)

"We are leaving to go get my daughter by sunrise tomorrow. If you choose to stay here I am okay with that but I am getting her back. If she was fine she would have been back by now!" Abby huffed and puffed.

"Because she was so eager to come back here last time?!" Octavia shot back. She was worried about Clarke but she trusted Lincoln and she saw the way Clarke and Lexa looked at each other they would never hurt one another.

"This is different! Bellamy knew she was leaving last time this time she was taken. I will get her back!" Abby was passing all around the large rectangular table that Marcus, Bellamy, Octavia, Lincoln, and Raven sat at.

"The only reason she came back last time was because Lexa and her got into a fight from the pieces I could put together. Not a physical we are going to war fight because I already know that's what you're thinking Chancellor. This was a I love you but you hurt me and hurt my heart kind of fight." Raven said glaring at the hot headed Chancellor. Octavia was quite surprised that Raven had picked up on it as well.

"I have an idea. Tomorrow mid day Octavia and I will go to TonDC in looks for Clarke. We will return at night fall with her or with news of how she is doing. Abby I will not force her to come back here if it doesn't feel good for her. However, I would also never let them hold her captive there. " Lincoln spoke in his forever calm and collected voice. Octavia beamed at him, always so happy that he seemed to have answers for about everything.

"I would like to come with you but Im sure that would upset many people. If you aren't back by nightfall Im sending our people out there to find her with orders to capture anyone who gets in our way and can give us any information on Clarke." Abby was still being extremely hot headed but at least she had the ability to allow Lincoln and Octavia to go see for themselves before any type of further issues arose.

With that the council meeting ended and everyone went back to finish up their daily tasks before dinner would be served in the mess hall.