Chapter 23
" I can't believe she's alive," said Johanna in her usual off-hand manner. It had been three years since her victory, and she and I had become firm friends. I had discovered that we were much alike. After she won, Snow had decided that she was desirable, but she had refused his offer flat out. She then payed the ultimate price, as her entire family was wiped out. She was shaken, but put up a brave face and still remained firm in her decision. It worked, because now Snow had no leverage against her. And anyways, Snow's attention was obviously going to be on the girl from District 12, the victor of the 74th Hunger Games. Her name was Katniss Everdeen, and she had pulled through along with her fellow victor and lover, Peeta Mellark, Johanna and I both knew that the Capitol was enraged at having 2 victors, because it meant that they were outsmarted. Katniss seemed familiar, though I didn't know why. Although I didn't like her very much, I couldn't help but admire her courage, and "spunk" as Haymitch called it. Haymitch was another person I had grown close to. I wondered sometimes why I chose these people as my friends, but I always came to the conclusion that it was the fact that they were as broken as me. They had been tributes in the Games, and now mentored poor children, sending them off to their deaths, and had to put up with the torture just like me. I knew that the Capitol would be looking for a way to punish Katniss, but I had a feeling that she wouldn't give up. She was broken on the inside, just like the rest of us, but she hid it well. What really angered me was her star-crossed romance with Peeta. It was obvious that she didn't really love him, but the Capitol was stupid enough to fall for their act. I was furious at her, because she couldn't even pretend to be in love,while Annie and I strived to hide our adoration for each other from everyone else. Pushing thoughts of this from my mind, I got up to go and congratulate Haymitch for his tributes' victory. I asked Johanna to join me but she said she wanted to sleep. I knew she was lying, because Johanna rarely slept, but I offered to escort her to bed. I was suddenly overcome with a strong desire to express my love for someone. I was tired of pretending that the ludicrous Capitol citizens meant so much to me, and wanted to show someone that I actually cared for them. Perhaps Johanna was the wrong person to practice it on, for she'd surely murder me if I tried to be affectionate with her. But I could always fight back. So when she turned to say goodbye to me outside her Capitol room, I lifted her off the ground, and threw her body over my shoulder. She kicked and pounded her fists on my back, but I could tell she was amused. I began to tickle her, as I knew this was her weak point. She squirmed in my grasp, and shouted abuses at me, but it was her way of responding, so I didn't mind. When I finally set her down on her bed, I pinned her there so that she be able to get up. To my surprise, she didn't even try. She just went limp. Concerned, I climbed in beside her. She didn't even push me away, which I took as a bad sign and got worried. I stroked her hair and tears suddenly filled her eyes. Never having seen Johanna cry before, I was immediately put on the alert. I pulled her to me and cradled her, whispering assurances. But I knew they wouldn't work, because Johanna rarely cried, and when she did, it was for a deep reason. When I asked her what was wrong, she replied in between sobs," I'm just so suck of everything, Finnick. I don't want to do this anymore. I'm tired of pretending to be strong, tired of seeing kids die, tired of hiding my pain. I just want the hurting to stop." My heart ached for her, because I was facing the same trouble, and I lowered her onto the bed. I tucked her in a blanket, and tenderly kissed her forehead. She flinched, which was a sign that Johanna was still in there somewhere. I continued to smother her in kisses, until she lifted a pillow and bashed my head with it. Soon, a full- fledge pillow fight was taking place, at the end of which, Johanna was laughing. I gently nudged her and said," There you are." She smiled the softest smile she ever had and said," Here I am." Then she did something she had never done before, she leant forward and kissed my cheek. I smiled and whispered good night to her as I left. When I found Haymitch, I thumped him on the back and said," Guess your girl did have a lot of spunk after all." Haymitch nodded his head grimly and replied," Yeah, and a hell lot of good it's going to do." I stared at him, confused, and asked," What's that supposed to mean?" His reply caused elation, anxiety, shock and excitement. " It means she's started a rebellion."