Suicide Squad: Take My Hand

Chapter 10 - Just Understand

Author's Note: I really appreciate you guys leaving feedback and I am also glad that you guys enjoy the story! I'm just happy that there are so many people out there who love Suicide Squad as much as I do, and the fact that you took the time to read my fanfic means the world to me. It has been fun writing this story so far and I do plan on continuing it. So in conclusion, I'm appreciate everyone who has followed, favorited, or even looked at my story. You all are amazing I hope you all enjoy the coming chapters!

I layed there for what felt like hours, the pain was unbearable. I felt as though that the acid was seeping into my skin, causing a sensation of be pricked by millions of needles at once. I squirmed a bit, "Doll, if you move again I will make you get another one. Now, sit still," J ordered. I shot a look of annoyance his was, this was fucking painful. I can't lay here for much longer or else I might just scream and rip through the straps, but then I would just get another harder and longer punishment.

I tried focusing on something else. "You should really call your mom," I thought. She was probably fretting over where I had been like she always does. It was funny, it didn't matter if I was gone for a week or a minute, she would be worried all the time. I guess that is what comes with being the youngest. In my mother's words, I was the last one to leave her nest. The thing was I don't think she thought that I had ever left. In fact, if she had it her way I'd be staying home all the time.

Yeah, I'm pretty young as society would say. It could be said that I am naive as well, I was twenty so big deal. "Yeah, but you are living with The Joker," my mind countered. I growled at my conscious thinking that I could change its opinions. Most people would think that moving in with him would be the fucking craziest thing to do at any age. It just made it worse because I was a young'en. I didn't care about society's standards, I was always one to bend the rules just a bit. And that had definitely not changed even when I was with J. I pushed the limits on his rules and he hated it. He thought he could get me to conform to his ideals. I have to admit though, that I was becoming more and more understanding of him and his insane ideas. I tried to be defiant, hell even stubborn about it, but I think I was starting to change a bit.

Which might have been why I joined up with him in the first place. You see my life lacked excitement. I went to work, ate, then went to bed every damn day of my life. And then when he walked into the bank that day, I knew my life would change. I didn't intend for us to be some Bonnie and Clyde type bullshit. I just took the job and thought that this would be a new experience for me. Now killing local law enforcement wasn't part of my plan, and that caught me off guard my first day, but part of me enjoyed being bad. I wasn't going to be down right evil by torturing people like J, but somewhat below that extreme.

Maybe J could teach me how to be more accurate at shooting because I know that I may piss him off a few more times, and he might pull that "Ruby, will take point," shit again and next time I need to be more prepared. I needed to learn to not hesitate when my or J's life was in danger because I for one wasn't planning on dying anytime soon, and J was definitely not going to either. Shit, there it was again. I could here Gi's words again, "You love him!"

I still wasn't sure what I felt towards J to be honest. It was deeper than your usual emotions of liking someone, and I think that maybe it was tipping towards the love side of the scale. But I wasn't one to just fall in love on the spot. I'd never experienced the romantic kind of love, and it scared me. I didn't know what that three word phrase meant or how J would perceive it. Knowing that he couldn't even say it, made the feeling worse. How do you even tell someone that you love them? Besides saying it. Could I show him? I could just possibly say what he did and be like, "I need you too," or "I can't be without you." That would get me somewhere wouldn't it?

"It's finished," J said wiping the excess ink off of my shoulder. I went to turn around, forgetting that I was still strapped in. "Fucking shit, that hurts," I yelled in agony. J laughed and didn't even move to unlatch me. "I'm going to dress that for you. Let me go get some tape and bandages," J said walking away from me and leaving the room.

What the hell did he tattoo on me? Wait…no, it is not a tattoo. It is a brand, I knew that he wasn't going to put some cute little thing on my shoulder even though somewhere deep down, I wish he would've. Oh no, all I saw him use was some blacks and greys, with the occasional dip of purple. "What if he put his name on you?" My mind wondered. It wouldn't surprise me, he always had a thing for labeling stuff that was his. He labeled his gun and jacket. So why wouldn't he label me? That would be the easiest thing to do, to teach me a lesson. That I was his and only his, and if anyone doubted it, they could check the brand on my shoulder for confirmation.

Joker came back and started rubbing something on the tattoo that soothed the acid. The tension in my body left as the stuff was rubbed into it. "Feel better?" J asked in a concerning fashion. "Yeah, thanks for asking." J then began placing bandages on my shoulder, "Wait! I don't even get to see it?" I exclaimed. "Now that wouldn't make it fun. Now would it? Just relax you will see it in a few days," he soothed. "A few days? A normal tattoo takes like two hours before you can see it," I told him. "Kitten, weren't you listening to me? This is not a normal cheap ass ink image, this is made with acid. It will take a while. You can probably see it on Monday," he said. "That is like three days away! But how could I forget that this isn't a tattoo, but a fucking brand that you put on me," I spat.

J finished dressing my shoulder and walked towards that front of the table. He then slammed his fists down and leaned so he was right in my face, "You're the one who got yourself in this mess and you have to pay for it. I was thinking that this would be the end of your punishment, but maybe I should continue by leaving you and your nasty attitude down here for the night. Would you like that, dollface? Because I have no issue with doing that," he spat back. I rolled my eyes and placed my head down on the gurney, there was no point in being nasty because things would just get a hell of a lot worse.

"No," I whispered. Joker then picked up my chin and closed the distance between us. "What was that?" he asked. "No," I repeated. "No what?" He snarled in my face. I growled at him before answering, "No, Mr. J." He then let me go and walked behind me. "I'm going to let you go and we are going to go upstairs, got it?" He ordered. "Yes, Mr. J," I mocked. "Good," he said releasing my aching body from the straps.

I couldn't tell you how long I'd been there, but something tells me it had been at least six hours because we had gotten home from the heist around three in the morning and now the sun was streaming in through the curtains. I blocked my eyes from the light when we were on the top of the stairs. It was really dark down there, which made me wonder how J even did the brand. Knowing my luck and his insanity, I probably got some shit thing on my shoulder. I guess I'll find out in a couple of days.

I stopped on the final step that lead to the main hallway, there stood Darla in shock. She hadn't seen me last night before she went to bed. Her face showed concern and she started to walk over to me. "Don't," J warned her. Darla then stopped and looked down. She couldn't do anything and she knew it. I was helpless and so was she. J then gave me a shove on the lower back signaling for me to keep moving. I grunted in response and continued to go up the stairs from the main floor.

I stopped waited for further instruction from J. I wasn't going to dare to move until he gave me an order. "Head into the bedroom, I'll be there in a few." I nodded and went through the doorway towards the king size purple bed. I walked over to the bed and jumped on my back to lay down. "Fucking shit that hurts," I yelled out because I had forgotten about my ink. I then rolled my shoulder a bit to try and relieve the pain. It didn't work, even though J had put some sab on it, it still hurt like a bitch. I decided to then just sit up, it was probably for the best that I didn't irritate it more than I had to.

"You alright?" Joker asked coming in with some extra pillows. "Yeah fine, nice to know you care," I sneered at him. He rolled his eyes in response and began stacking the pillows on my side of the bed, "I do care, even though sometimes you make the dumbest fucking decisions," he countered. I huffed out, he made me so irritated sometimes. "I need to get some things done. I will be back in a while to check on you," he said caressing my cheek and exiting the room.

Dammit! How could he do that? One minute he'd be the biggest asshole in the world, and then he could be so sweet. It frustrated me to think that he didn't care one minute and then the next, he'd want to be all lovey-dovey. Was he bipolar or something? No, he was just insane. He didn't need a label, he was his own kind of madness that knew how to get under my skin. I knew that somewhere in that head of his he had reason for doing the things he did. Hitting me got my attention and made me feel like I was nothing, like I was a little girl who stood no chance against a bully. He'd yell at me to degrade me. He was working on my self-esteem, I guess. It just didn't seem to all go together. The way he would manipulate me and then make me feel like a queen was exhausting.

Speaking of which, the last couple of hours had really gotten to me. I hadn't recovered from the heist or the tattoo, but mainly the heist. How could Bruce be Batman? More importantly how could I have missed that? I usually was one to pin people as soon as I met them. I could tell you who you were before you even knew yourself, but Bruce or Batman was a total miss for me. He mentioned how he hated the news and, wait. He also mentioned how he didn't want to see how that city would end because of Joker. Dammit, that was a clue I missed and now I feel foolish just thinking about it. I shook my head and tried to relax it was going to be a long couple of days for sure.

Day 1:

I didn't sleep at all last night. My shoulder felt like one huge knife was stuck in it, instead of the millions of needles from when I first left the gurney. It was an improvement , but not by much. I tried to rub it, but that only made it worse. What I needed was some of that sab or whatever J had put on it. That made it at least a bearable type of pain.

I had to admit, I was worried about J. He didn't come to bed at all last night. I mean sure, I was still mad at him, but not to the point of where I didn't want to see him. He might of been an asshole at times and I can't say I blame him. Last night, I feel like I couldn't sleep because on the pain of my shoulder, but also partly because of the fact that I may have crossed the line when I went out with Bruce or Batman, whoever the fuck he was, it didn't matter now but I knew that it would still bother him. He got his revenge by his little punishment from the night before, which I think would be enough for him.

I sat up and rolled my neck trying to get all of the kinks out of it. The pillows that J had brought propped me up so that I wasn't laying down on my back. It helped, but it also created the problem of my neck being straight up all night. I also didn't put much weight on the pillow when leaned back. I tried to go as far as I could, but I had the fear of hurting myself more. I needed a massage to be honest.

Believe it or not J gave the best massages. His hands were cold, but there were also soft enough to work any knot out of my body. It wasn't just that though, I missed him. I know that we live together and our constantly in each other's space, but I had gotten used to him being around twenty-four seven so much so that without him in my proximity for the last couple of hours got me feeling upset. I also just want to talk about what happened. I knew he was mad, but I wanted to make it better in whatever way I could.

So I set out on a mission to find him. My first stop was the kitchen downstairs. So I walked down there to have a look around. To my disappointment I only found Darla sipping on her morning coffee. She looked up, "Ruby, my dear! What happened to you?" I sat down on the stool in front of her before answering. She must had been in distress over what happened since she didn't get the chance to talk to me. "I made a mistake and paid for it," I said pointing to the patch on my back. Darla then walked behind me trying to get a better glimpse of what exactly J did. "I see. What did you do? If you don't mind my asking." I hesitated at first but then decided that it would be okay to tell her. "I went out with someone else, and long story short J found out and gave me an acid tattoo."

Darla's mouth when agape. She couldn't believe what she just heard. "Now dear, I know that you made a mistake but he really did not have to do that to you," she said comforting me. I shook my head, "Well, I can't change it now. I just have to live with the consequences." Darla rolled her eyes, "Dear just because you love him doesn't mean you need to accept that." I sighed, "That is the problem. I don't know if I do love him. He is nice one minute, but then the next he just turns into another person. I don't get it."

"Look dear, that is the way he is. If you don't like it then leave. I wouldn't blame you," she reassured. "I can't. I have no where else to go," I said tears streaming down my face. I was terrified, I couldn't just get up and go. Where the hell would I go? I don't want to go back to my mom's, she would just want to keep me there. Gi wasn't an option either, I didn't want to burden her with me being there all the time. Darla pulled my face towards hers, "I don't know where you would go honestly. So maybe that was a stupid suggestion. You know how old ladies are," she joked. I smiled and look up at her, "You aren't old, Darla. You are just a bit of a dirty which is an unusual trait to find in older women such as yourself. But that is what keeps you young, Darla. And that is why I stay here." She smiled, "So I guess there are a few perks of living here right?" I shrugged a bit, "I don't know. J is pretty good in bed," I giggled. "Now look who's dirty," Darla laughed back. I loved this lady, she made some of the darkest nights into the brightest days.

Darla gave me breakfast and we chatted for about a half an hour about just random things. She made me feel better, but I still needed to find out where J was. "Do you know where J is by chance?" I asked her. "He didn't leave this morning, so I'm guessing he is in his office. You might want to check there," she said grabbing my plate to clean it. "Thanks," I replied.

I left the kitchen feeling better. My talks with Darla always made left me feeling either amused or happy. She always knew what to say, even if it wasn't the right thing to say. So off I was again to find J. I walked back upstairs and took a left towards his office. The door was shut, of course, but that wouldn't stop me. I just decided to run over and open it.

J wasn't there either, it was just Ace sitting and scrolling through some documents on the computer. He had to do a double-take before he realized it was me in the doorway. "Holy shit, you're alive," he yelled. I gave him a perplexed look, "Yeah why wouldn't I be?" One of Ace's eyebrows stood up at attention, "Do you remember what happened? J was really pissed at you or something. I figured he would have just killed you." I shot him a deadly glare, "Well obviously I'm not dead. What are you doing in here anyway?"

"Oh me? I'm just working on my hacking skills because the one's J hired are useless pieces of shit," he said angrily. "You mean worthless as in skill or did h-" I started saying before he interrupted me. "He killed them Ruby, he killed them," Ace nodded. "Figure as much." Ace then got up and came over to me looking at my shoulder, "What's that?" I huffed out a sigh before answering, "I fucked up and paid for it."

"You mean he did that to you?" Ace questioned. "Yeah, it is a brand or something," I answered. Ace just stared at me for a minute before continuing the conversation. He must have been just as confused as Darla was. "Well I knew the boss was insane, but I didn't think he'd mess up his own girl."

I was both complemented and offended at the same time. Complemented because I am J's girl and offended by the fact that Ace thinks that I am untouchable or some shit like that. I'm just like everyone else, I just get treater a little better and I get hurt in a different way than most. "Yeah anyway, where is J exactly?" I asked trying to get back to my morning mission. "He is around here somewhere. Maybe try the garage. I know he said something about the Lamborghini this morning." I smiled, "Thanks Ace. Now work on your hacking skills, before J decides to kill more people." I walked out of J's office and headed towards the garage. Hopefully, I would have some luck in there.

The door was open, so that was a good sign. I walked over and peeked out the doorway. Hoping that I would spot him. Just then I saw a dart of green hair come out from underneath his car. "Gotcha," I whispered as I walked over to him. He then went back under the car and continued working, he didn't notice me so I just decided to sit next to the car until he came back out again.

It had been about twenty minutes, most people would have given up by now, but I didn't. I just sat there waiting for him to pop back out, I was stubborn like that. My patience was rewarded when he came out from underneath the car. "Did you need something?" He asked. "No, I just wanted to see where you were." I replied. J shrugged and was about to go back under the car, but I stopped him. He just looked at me with frustration. "Okay, maybe I want to know where that sab is for my tattoo," I squeaked. J sighed and got out from underneath the car. "You don't have to stop working, I just want to know where it is," I said. "Come on, we will go upstairs and I'll get it for you," J said as we left the garage.

We reached the bathroom that was connected to our bedroom. "Sit," he ordered gesturing to the edge of the bath tub. I was a bit taken back, but did as I was told. I wanted to know why he didn't come to bed last night, and I also wanted to know what pissed in his cereal. I might just go with the first question though, just to avoid an argument. J began rummaging through the cabinet in search of the sab, while I sat impatiently. He then found it.

"Turn around," he instructed. His voice was a bit cold, but not as cold as it could be. He then began taking off the bandages with some other stuff that I didn't know. I was just happy that he agreed to help me. "Why didn't you come to bed last night?" I asked. "I wasn't tired, and I needed to think about some things," he replied continuing with what he was doing. I frowned, I didn't like the answer he gave me. "I missed you," I said trying to see if that did anything.

I felt guilty about about happened and how it all went down. Like I said I shouldn't have done it. I should've have just let it go and waited for him to talk to me about it, but instead I jumped to conclusions and did what I did. Now I'm paying for it. "There you go. Go get some rest," he said before exiting. I stopped him, "Are you going to be in bed later tonight?" He shrugged and passed me. Damn, I never that it just wasn't going to be that easy.

Day 2:

The next morning wasn't any different. J still wasn't there when I woke up. I wanted to confront him, but I also wanted to say I was sorry and hope that he would just forgive and we could move on from this. I knew it wouldn't be that simple, but it was still worth a shot. So I sat up and began my routine. My shoulder felt better, no more knife feeling just more of a kind of muscle achiness now. I also actually slept better last night, but I can't help but think that it would have been better if J was there too.

I didn't like feeling emptiness and J knew it. Hell, the first time I stayed the night I snuck into bed with him and then I never left. The thing was he knew that by doing this , I was going to feel guilty and sorry for what I did. It was the way he was. He knew how to get inside my head and manipulate me, it was a gift of his for not only me but to other people too. I felt lonely without him, and that isn't a normal emotion for me.

I decided to quit stewing on it and hop in the shower. Yeah, that's right. I had a moment of being a dumbass and forgot about my gauze. The only problem was is that the shower didn't even wash off the patch. It stayed on, I felt relief and concern in the same moment. Relief because it didn't come off I wouldn't have to deal with an angry J, but concern because the damn thing didn't come off. It was literally glued to my skin. What the hell did he even use? Whatever, it wasn't important now. Now I just needed to get ready and try to find J again, I needed to just talk to him.

I put on some clothes and headed downstairs. Darla and Ace were both down in the kitchen sharing a laugh. I smiled, at least I knew where these two were. "Morning guys," I greeted sitting down at the counter. "Good morning, dear. Would you like some breakfast?" Darla asked. "No, I'm not too hungry. Thank you for asking though." Darla sighed and continued sipping on her coffee.

"So did you talk to Master J, then?" Darla inquired. Ace also seemed to be intrigued at the question Darla asked, so he just sat there waiting for a reply. "Yeah," I said looking down at the floor. "Well what did he say?" I didn't know how to put it into words so I just decided to talk about the entire day with them, it couldn't hurt.

*Time Skip*

"I guess he is still mad," Ace commented. "I guess so," I said in agreement. "There is a different approach you could try, Ruby," Darla said. I looked at her with a grin, thinking that I knew where she was going, "He hasn't even slept beside me in the last two days. How am I going to get him to actually sleep with me?" Ace turned to the both of us in disgust, "Really Darla? That was going to be your suggestion?" "Oh shut it Ace, you are the one who helped me in the sex-strike. So don't even try and pretend that you didn't think it too," I quipped at him. Ace and I just began a battle of witty remarks towards each other, which only lasted about a minute before Darla had to step in.

"Both of you be quiet, that was not going to be my suggestion. So both of you are wrong." Darla yelled. She was right, we were not two five year olds arguing over who is going to tattle on who. So we both stopped and waited for her to continue. "Now, Ruby I just suggest that you talk to him about tell him what you are thinking. He might just listen, or not listen. It depends on his mood." Alright, I could agree with that, but the questions was when would I ask him. "I agree with Darla here. I'd say wait till he gets home today and then just chat with him," Ace added.

"Where do I talk to him exactly?" I asked. Darla shrugged so Ace stepped up to answer. "Well he went out today because their was some business he had to attend to at the club. Must be a meeting or something. But anyway, if shit goes south, which is usually does. He'll need to take a shower from all the blood that will be on him, so he will need to get into the bathroom in your room." I nodded in agreement, "What time do you think he will be home?" I asked. "Well meeting should be starting now, so maybe about two hours tops. He might also just wanna crash, he hasn't slept in the past couple of days."

My heart sank. He really hadn't slept at all in the past few days? Was it because of me? "Of course it was because of you. You did this to him," my conscious sounded. I couldn't lie, not even to myself. I didn't mean to make him sleep deprived, mad, or fucking sad (if he even felt that). It wasn't my intention. "Bullshit, Ruby. It was your intention when you went out with Bruce," I thought. I guess I better just wait on him then, while my mind tortures me about what I should have done.

*Time Skip - 2 Hours*

Ace was right, I heard the sound of a car door shut just about two hours after my little visit in the kitchen. In that time, I decided to make myself comfy on our bed. I read mostly, but I also stewed on what I did. Then I heard the front door close and the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs. This was chance, so I best not waste it.

J came strolling into the bedroom with blood splatters on his white shirt. It was weird how Ace predicted all that would happen, but then again it was Joker. So every meeting would probably end in some sort of bloodshed. "Hey," I said trying to sound casual. He looked up and stared at me for a few moments, and then went to go gather his clothes. He was choosing to ignore me, but this time I wasn't having it. So I got up and went over to him. "I want to talk," I said. "I'm listening," he replied his eyes scanning for a new shirt. "No you aren't you are just pretending you are," I said with a bit more frustration in my voice.

J then looked up and sat down right on the floor, "What do you want to talk about then. Hmm? C'mon don't keep me in suspense." He replied sarcastically. Anger started rushing through my body, each and every part of my being was now filled with heat. "I want to know why you are ignoring me!" I shouted. J cracked his neck, "Well… there was that whole thing with Batman, but other than that nothing," he snorted.

"J, I'm sorry," I said.

"You're sorry? Is that it? Please tell me you have more than that, Kitten."

"Look, I know you haven't been sleeping the last couple of days, and I know it was because of what I did."

"Aren't you a smart one? Yeah, I haven't sleeping much lately. Thank you for noticing," He chided.

I lost it, my anger took over and I lunged at him. It caught him off guard. So I took my chance and pinned him to the floor with both of my arms. I knew I wasn't strong enough to keep him there, but maybe just long enough for him to listen to me.

"Shut the fuck up and listen to me, you asshole! You wanna know how I noticed? Because I have been going through the exact same thing. The past couple of days have really fucking sucked because I have woken up without you beside me. I have woken up without your arms around me." Tears began to form in my eyes and slowly began streaming down my face. "You want to mad at me fine, but don't you dare abandon me. I know I fucked up and I have paid for it. You gave me a fucking tattoo for fuck's sake. I need you more than I need anyone else in this whole goddamn world."

J struggled a bit and eventually threw me off of him. He then got up and proceeded to the shower, ignoring everything I just. "You know what? Fuck you!" I screamed at him before he left. He didn't care, so why should I? So I picked myself up and went to bed, hoping that tomorrow would come quickly.

Day 3:

The morning came quicker than I expected. Today was the day I got to take my bandage off and see what happened to my once spotless ivory skin. The pain was gone now. There was no stabbing or aching of any kind, maybe that was why I had such a good night's rest. Maybe it was also because I screamed and yelled at J. I didn't know.

I was pissed, and upset at the same time. He being his usual charming self, the fucker. He didn't even respond to what I had told him, he just chose to walk away. How could he do that to me? "He's the Joker, he does whatever he wants," my thoughts flowed. That still doesn't make it right. I get it, he is big and bad and believes that he is untouchable. Ugh, he was such an ass.

I'm not excusing my behavior one bit. I was wrong, and I knew it. I told him that, hell I screamed it in his face. I paid for what I did. I took point on that heist when I had no training on how to set a damn explosive, I watched Bruce get beat up by J, and I did my punishment. Was I wrong? Hell yeah, but I paid for it enough. I went to get up, but a felt a sudden tug on my waist.

J's arm was wrapped around me securely to make sure that I stayed in place. I couldn't believe it. How did he manage to sneak into bed without waking me up? That sneaky bastard must have waited until I was in a deep sleep before getting into bed. I was confused again as always. Still mad because he straight up ignored me, but happy he chose to come back to bed. I guess I got the cuddling part correct in my journal.

J stirred a bit when he felt the movement on the other side of the bed. "What are you doing, princess?" He muffled into his pillow. I chose to ignore him, it was a little payback for all the crap he put me through. So I just got up and walked over to the mirror and turned around. The white gauze were still wrapped on it, but I was ready to see what was under this damn thing.

"Kitten, come back to bed. It is too early for this shit," J said sitting up and rubbing his eyes. "No, I want to see what you put on me," I countered. J then put his feet over the edge of the bed and cracked his neck. "Be careful, it is going to be a bitch to take those bandages off," he warned. I didn't listen though, I looked over my shoulder and began tearing off the bandages, "That fucking hurts," I yelped. This must have been the reason why it didn't come off in the shower. J laughed and got up from the bed and laughed, "Told you. Now just go into the bathroom and wait for me. I will take it off for you," he said.

"Fine," I pouted in defeat. Why did he always have to be right about everything? I honestly didn't think that tearing off the bandages was going to be that big of a deal. I mean it was just medical tape and gauze right? At least I hope it was, but knowing Joker he probably used some other shit that would make it hurt to take it off. Yeah, that seems plausible because he would want to take it off for me. I then went towards that bathroom while he went to gather whatever supplies he needed.

I sat down on the toilet lid, and waited patiently for J to come in the bathroom. It must have been at least five minutes and he still wasn't in here. I began getting impatient and tried to pull the bandage off again, "Son of a bitch, what the fuck did he use?" I cursed. "I just wanted to make sure that it would stay on doll," J said entering with his supplies. The grin on his face went from ear to ear, he must have used some sort of special shit on the bandage just like I had expected.

"Now sit down and let daddy take care of his baby," he cooed. I groaned in response and followed his order. I sat down on the toilet lid again and turned my back towards him. "Good, now just sit still and it will be off in no time," he said as he began wiping some liquid on the edges of the gauze. "What are you using?" I asked out of curiosity. "Nothing you need to worry about," he replied taking a sponge and patting it against the area. The next few minutes were filled with silence, as I waited anxiously to learn what I had been given.

I felt a cold hand touch my skin, and I shuttered. I hated the effect he had on me, even if I did not like the fact that I was now inked, I still was an emotional trainwreck around him. I mean yeah, I was mad at him, but I still didn't know my feelings, but they were definitely between like and love. Okay, forget it. It was definitely leaning over to the love side of the scale. I don't know, but whatever it was it caused me to shiver in his touch. I then felt a slight tug on my skin as the gauze was removed from my skin.

"Get up," J said in a much more colder tone. Respecting his order, I got up and walked over to the mirror. "Turn around and look," he said. I turned around and gazed at my shoulder. Property of The Joker, was inked into my skin. I just stood there and stared at it. The lettering was black with a gray outline. Then there were little designs throughout it traced in purple. My expression soften, I hated it but loved it at the same time.

I hated that now I was "his." I hated that he had this goddamn hold over me, that I had denied since day one. I always felt as though that I was my own person and that I would never be owned by someone else, but then he came along. J came along and changed everything. He fucked up my entire world with his antics, his fucking life for god's sake. He was a criminal, he killed, robbed, and ran a drug business. How could I have let myself become apart of his psychotic world? How could I forget everything that I was taught about being a strong just for some "Clown Prince of Crime?"

I wasn't me anymore and now I am just realizing that whatever I do, even if it is to spite him, is because I love him. I was in love with Gotham's Infamous Joker. I had denied it to Gi and to myself, but now seeing that he claims me as his, changed everything. I was no longer my own person, but one who is now permanently tied to him. I couldn't escape him or his possessiveness that could be considered as showing me that he cares for me. I couldn't leave, especially now. He owned me, and I loved him for it.

I tore my gaze away from the image and turned around. His cold blue eyes stared at me waiting for a response, his chest was heaving. He wanted to know what I was thinking, but I had no words for it. I couldn't explain my thoughts or emotions. I just wanted him right here and now. "So what do you think?" He asked impatiently waiting for a response from me. I didn't answer him, but rather wrapped my arms around him and kissed him. My lips crashed into his with such force he was knocked down onto the ceramic floor.

Fire, fear, and passion fueled my desire in this moment. I needed him. I needed the fire of living like there was no tomorrow. I needed the passion that came with his kiss, his touch, and his dominance over me. I needed the the protection that guarded me from my darkest fears. He was the man that had total control over my emotions and now I only needed to show him that I was his and only his.

I broke the kiss and straddled him. His eyes widened as he saw me take control. I began to unbutton each individual button that constricted me from showing him my form. Each second, my breath hitched higher and higher, waiting for him to say something, but he didn't. He just watched as the I undressed in front of him. His eyes traced the outline of my figure as if he had never seen it before.

I got to the last button and took off the cover that hid my bra. My chest was now heaving faster, and my mind stopped. I didn't know what to do next. My mind was in a million different directions. I wanted to show him how much he meant to me, how much I needed him in my life, but my other emotions got in the way. I couldn't think straight. "Kitten, relax," J purred as he reached up to caress my face. I broke from my trance and looked at him with a face showing that I was uneasy. The emotions were all flooding into my at once, I didn't know how to handle them. I went to speak, but all I get out was the breath that shaked as it left my lungs. My whole body then began shaking, and I got off of him and walked over to the counter.

I grabbed the counter with both hands and cursed myself for being this way. I was too weak, I couldn't even show him how much he meant to me. I couldn't express what I felt. I couldn't show him that I loved him and now he probably thought I was an idiot for even trying.

Joker's POV

I got up, unsure about what just happened. One minute she mad because of the tattoo, the next she was emotionless about the tattoo I had given her, and now she stood over the counter staring at herself. Her eyes were filled with guilt, I could see it. She blamed herself for some reason that I did not know. She apologized and said some things that really struck a chord in me. She "needed" me, whether it was being in the same room as her or simply holding her as she slept. The tattoo… the tattoo was just meant to prove a point that she was mine and I'd be damned if anyone else thought that they could take her from me.

Now look at me, I sound like a pussy with all of these thoughts going on inside of me. Damn her, for doing this to me. Damn her for making me care about her in the way I did. I didn't mean that and I knew it, but some part of me was lost because I had gotten involved with her. It wasn't mistake, and I'm not saying that being with her was one. She just had a pull on me that no one else had ever had with me. I have been with a good amount of women in my life, but none of them were like her. No, none of them were her. She was blunt, impatient, and stubborn. God she was so stubborn, which sometimes made her a pain in the ass or sometimes set fire to my loins. She was like no one else, and I would never let her leave my side unless she ordered me away.

I couldn't do it, she was mine and I was hers. I can't imagine my life without her. Those damn eyes of hers that almost matched mine, but had less of a cold feeling. They were inviting while mine struck fear in people. Her damn smile that caused me to smile along with her, even when I was so pissed off. And most important her touch that soothed every tension away from my body. I'd never want to be without her hand in mine, or her arms around me when we embraced one another. I just couldn't imagine a life where she doesn't exist.

I walked over to her and put my arms around her. She seemed startled at first, but then relaxed. Placing my head on her shoulder I whispered, "I need you, you know that?" She turned to me, her eyes filled with tears. "I love you," she said her voice breaking between the tears.

My eyes widened at her statement. I honestly didn't know what to say to her. I'm not someone who is worthy of her love or any love for that matter. I am idea, a state of mind that she has just become obsessed with. Don't get me wrong, I love her affection and adoration of me, but it couldn't be love. It had to be an obsession. No one could love me, I didn't even love me. I hated myself, especially now I caused her to feel "love" or whatever the fuck that word was. She must be mistaken, she must just be caught up in the moment. She would never say that to me, she knew better than that, right? I went to speak, but she put her hand over my mouth. "Don't say anything, just understand," she whispered. I simply nodded and held her tight.