Love Is Not Enough
Summary: Wo Fat is on the loose and looking for a way to destroy Steve. He decides the best way is through Catherine, even if they're not together anymore – because sometimes love is not enough.
Pairings: Steve/Catherine, some OCs mixed in for a little (or a lot of) drama, minor Danny/Gabby, Kono/Adam
Warning: Explicit content
Chapter 10: Over again
When he opened the door, she was there.
"I really don't want to talk right now," he said by way of explanation as he prepared to slam the door in her face.
"Well, tough," she responded emphatically, and stepped past him to go to the living room. He hadn't switched any lights on when he got up, wanting the house to be as dark as his mood. "Because now is just the right moment to talk about a number of things."
He followed her, but kept his distance. He could barely look at her. His hands were clenching and unclenching rhythmically against his sides. Fury and jealousy were still flushing his system as he thought about what he'd discovered that very afternoon. He didn't understand what she was doing here. She'd made her choice, hadn't she?! So what was there left to talk about?! She had chosen Foster for good, she should go to explain herself to him.
At the same time he couldn't fight how well she still fit into his house. She looked right at home; she looked like she belonged. He'd secretly adored this view of her, so comfortable and in-place in his family's home. Seeing her standing there made him want to go back to happier days. Days when he would've simply walked up to her and kissed her senseless. As it were, the urge was nearly impossible to suppress. Her tresses had grown out again, and she looked absolutely beautiful in the pale moonlight. Suddenly, his hands were clenching in order to fight a different instinct, the instinct to take what he considered to be his.
Like a slap in the face, he realized he needed her to leave. She'd been right all along; they couldn't go back and forth all the time. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He couldn't seem to physically make himself tell her to get out. Not when she was so close. He opened his mouth to try to speak again, but she beat him to it.
"I didn't know how to tell you," she admitted. "Or what to tell you. I can't seem to bring myself to say yes. I've thought about nothing else since he proposed. I told him I couldn't honestly say that I didn't... have feelings for you anymore. I couldn't do that to him. Marry him, I mean. He deserves someone who's with him all the way, and not looking back over her shoulder hoping to see you. I don't know what to tell either of you anymore. You're mad, I get it-"
"I'm not mad," Steve protested heatedly. "Why would I be mad? Because you're going to marry another guy after everything we've been through these last few months – not to mention the last seven years?! What reason do I have to be mad? I have no claim on you anymore, right?"
He started pacing, getting louder by the minute.
"Except, I thought maybe I did. All these months... Every time we spoke, you communicated that you cared, that I meant something to you, even now. But it was all a lie, wasn't it? You led me on, you let me believe that I still had a chance to fix us! You talked about our children!"
"Oh, because you are so different," she hissed back at him. "You pushed me away every single time despite openly reciprocating my feelings. You started that discussion when you spoke about your dream from the first night I was at your house. It was a glimpse of something I had hoped for. How was I supposed to resist that? And what about Valerie? You gave clear indications that you didn't consider us over, yet when a pretty blonde showed up, you didn't mind passing the time with her."
"We are just pals... Wait. Are you jealous?", he asked, almost amused.
"Yes!", she exclaimed, exasperatedly. Honestly.
He didn't know what to say to that. A thought came to him that made him shiver involuntarily.
"Steve-" A broken whisper. Her eyes were shining.
"Were you wearing it then?" he asked putting voice to his thought, his fear, and his voice was just as broken as hers as he made a vague gesture towards her neck where the engagement ring hung on a chain. "A couple of days ago in my office when we were talking about our children. Were you wearing it already?"
She nodded. A single drop fell onto the carpet. Then another.
"Why?! Why would you do that to me? It's like you deliberately set out to hurt me."
That earned him a slap. And more tears.
"Don't you think I want this? That I want us?", she all but yelled at him. "Damn you, Steve, because I do! Do you hear me, I want you. I crave you. I love you!"
And then the tears wouldn't stop.
"I love you, too," he responded as all the fight left him. It was the first time he'd said it out loud, and even though she'd always known, her heart soared when she heard those words fall from his lips. They sounded sweeter than she'd imagined. Before reality had time to catch up with her, before their situation would make her heart come tumbling down from heaven and fall straight into the abyss, he was on her. His mouth devoured her. He pushed her mouth open and licked and sucked at her tongue and passionately bit her soft lips. Every time a kiss ended, he came back for more. He wouldn't give her time to breathe, time to think, lest she break away from him again.
It was fine with her. She didn't want to think. Thinking hurt, but this was bliss. All she wanted to do now was bask in this glorious heat he was spreading throughout her body. His hands were everywhere. On the back of her head, holding her to him as he kissed her. Tracing down the path of her throat and over her breast, kneading almost forcefully. She cried out in rapture. Then one hand went skimming down her side, her thigh, hooking underneath her knee and pulling it upwards to lay around his waist. She could feel his erection prominently now, and it made her clench in all the right places.
Suddenly, they couldn't wait; they wanted to be one again, to be swept away by that tidal wave of passion they'd been nurturing for close to seven years. They had been apart for so long, they couldn't be bothered with foreplay. There was no need to set the mood. The mood had been there the moment she'd walked through his door and they'd laid eyes on each other. They frantically ripped at each others clothes, unable to hold out much longer without feeling skin on skin. Every bit of skin they exposed was caressed, scratched, pinched, licked and bitten and sucked if it was within reach.
Finally, they were gloriously naked. They stood pressed together for a minute or an eternity, just feeling their bare limbs against each other. One of her legs around his waist, their sexes, abdomens and chests pressed against one another as they hugged tightly. Their faces not even millimeters apart, allowing their lips the barest of touches, and still passion would not be silenced and sense would not settle in.
With a swift, sure movement Steve gently lay her down on the carpet covering his hardwood floor. All she could feel was his heat, and all he could feel was her erratic heartbeat against his chest. He kissed the spot right above the musical noise as he thrust forward. Both groaned in satisfaction. At last they were one again. Her legs encased him tightly, leaving barely any room for movement, not that he had any intention of putting even the smallest distance between them. A piece of paper wouldn't fit between their bodies and that's how he liked it. Instead of thrusting, they rubbed against each other, kissing and nipping everything in reach until they grew tired of their game and went back to snogging. His hand wandered between their bodies, and her nails scratched harshly across his back in answer as the wave swept over them, carrying them away with it.
When some degree of consciousness returned to him, Steve rolled around until Cath was sprawled across his chest, her panting breath tickling his overheated skin. He kissed the top of her head, and she rose above him to look at him. Her gaze was foggy from bliss and warm with love as her eyes settled on his face. They both felt something poke them in the chest and looked down to where the only thing she was still wearing gleamed in the dark. Sense rushed back, and had Catherine tighten her grip on him as her eyes watered anew.
"We keep hitting obstacles," Steve murmured as he grasped hold of the ring.
"I love you," she said, and kissed him.
"I love you, too," he repeated his words from earlier when they came up for air, then kissed her nose, and ripped off the necklace on which she wore the ring. They inspected it quietly for a while, never separating, never moving at all. "Sometimes love is not enough."
He slid the ring on her finger.
"Why can't we work it out?", she asked, tears coming back. "When it comes right down to it, I want to be with you. It's been you for such a long time."
"You too," he murmured, reaching a hand out to wipe her tears away, but more just rolled down her cheeks. The hot, liquid drops hit his chest, and every single one felt like a rock. He raised his head to kiss her hair.
"Maybe I could ask for a transfer to Coronado, or back on the Enterprise. Once you've caught Wo Fat, you could come find me. You have had such good practice over the course of the years," she half-teased, half-stated.
She was grasping at straws, forgetting that he'd put another man's ring on her finger. She didn't want to part from him forever. Being apart hurt more than anything else. She could trust him to look after himself and come back to her, couldn't she? Danny, Chin, Kono and even Max – they'd all look after him. He was their family; he was her life. She couldn't and wouldn't give that up for a marriage that would never work. Not when she was so clearly in love with Steve. There was a long silence during which they simply looked at each other. He was tired of fighting her, fighting himself and his feelings for her. They hadn't waned or faded in over six months; they weren't ever going anywhere. He loved her, and he always would. Always; the word resounded through his being as he continued to look at her beautiful, crying face.
"I will always find you."
5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0
She was still smiling when she came back to her and Ben's home in the middle of the night. She would have to face him tomorrow to give him his mother's ring back, but for now she chose to seek refuge in the memories of earlier that night. She'd talked to Steve, they'd made love, and even planned for the future. She had continued to cry; she hadn't seemed capable of stopping. She'd cried for him, for herself, for what they'd gone through. She'd cried for Ben and for their friends, and all the confusion and pain the two of them must have caused. He'd held her through it all, her head burrowed into the crook of his neck and his lips in her hair. One time he'd even lifted her head, and playfully licked at her cheek to make her giggle.
'Smooth, dog,' she'd teased him, making his chest rumble with laughter at her poorly executed pun on his SEAL moniker.
She smiled to herself as she made her way around the darkened apartment. She put her keys on the glass table in front oh the couch. It was the center piece of the living room furniture. She'd found it a bit ostentatious, but had said nothing as it did fit in with the rest rather well. She contemplated the table for another moment, then made a move to take Ben's engagement ring off her finger and put it next to her keys. That's when the lights were suddenly turned on. Catherine gave a small yelp, ring once more forgotten on her finger, when she saw Ben sit in the armchair across from her with a grim expression.
"You startled me," she told him when she'd calmed down a little.
"I take it by the late hour that your choice does not include me," Ben stated with cold anger, throwing a bunch of papers on the table. Upon closer inspection they turned out to be pictures. Quite a few of them were rather explicit."But did you really have to go fuck him to decide that?"
Catherine gasped. She picked up some of the printed pictures. The quality the printer could offer was good, and it was obvious these had been made with a professional digital camera. On the table, several showed her and Steve as they went at each other, but her eyes grew transfixed by one particular image in her hand. She let go of the other pictures to stare at this one. It had been from when he'd tried to cheer her up and stop her crying. The photographer had caught the exact moment on camera when his tongue had darted out to touch her cheek. He must have used a very good magnifying lens. She hadn't been able to see it, but the corner of his mouth had been drawn up as he grinned at his own actions.
"These are timestamped, Catherine," Ben informed her bitterly. "You lay on the floor with him for nearly an hour after you fucked him."
"You had me followed?!"
"No," he said. "These were sent to me by email this evening, and your reaction tells me they've not been doctored with. Not that I had much doubt in that regard in the first place."
"Ben," she sighed, braving herself for the discussion she had wanted to face rested in the morning.
"And with my mother's ring on your finger, too," he hissed as his eyes settled on her hand. "So, what was this stint with McGarrett?! One last doughnut before the diet?"
Catherine looked down at the ring on her finger. She and Steve had completely forgotten about it as they'd held each other tight. She'd been about to take it off and put it on the glass table when Ben had switched on the lights, then she'd completely forgotten about it again until Ben pointed it out to her. She studied the ring for a moment, before looking back up to Ben.
"No, it hadn't been there until... after." She braced herself to tell him the rest of the story, how Steve and not her had put the ring where it rested now on her finger.
That's when the door was broken down, and four masked men rushed in.
End of Chapter 10!
A/N: And it was just starting to look better...
Future Warning: There's going to be some violence in future chapters. The worst probably in the next one. Just to let you know.
Posting Delay Notification: Don't worry; it's not now. I just like to do these things in advance. Between June and end of September I will first be on vacation, then moving back to Germany from the UK, and then I'll be doing a three months internship that will keep me out at all ours of the day. Posting will therefore not be done regularly, or at least not as regularly as it is done at the moment. Thank you for your understanding.
Future H50 fic plans: I've got about 4-5 other stories mapped out in my head, and I've started writing on one. I could start posting around the end of this story (I like to have the first drafts of some chapter done before I start posting; it means less pressure for me), or I could start when I'm done with my crazy June-September holiday and obligations. Which way would you prefer it?