Tony stood by the trio of windows for a few minutes longer, not sure quite what to do or say. Even though deep down he knew what his partner's decision was going to be regarding meeting his son, he was still profoundly disappointed. Perhaps in a way it was because it reflected on their own relationship; if Fin was too afraid to reveal he had a gay son, much less was gay himself, what did that say about THEIR future? Had he been kidding himself all this time that one day, one wonderful day, they could have a normal relationship, despite the spotlight always being directed on his partner? He bit back his envy of Justin's relationship with his partner's son as he gazed over at Fin, who was still sitting on the couch, shoulders drooped dejectedly as he continued to study the black and white sketch that Justin had left for him.
Tony sighed softly as he slowly walked over to the other man, who didn't even look up as he approached. "Fin….," he began, his voice barely above a whisper; the pain was evident in his own voice as he spoke his partner's name. As he reached the couch, he quietly sat down next to the brunet and took his hand. He hated what Fin had just done, but he still loved the guy anyway; you couldn't just turn something like that off like a light switch.
Fin immediately grasped the blond's hand for support, squeezing it tightly as if it were a lifeline; in a way, it was. He looked down at the lifelike sketch of a man and a little boy who looked so strikingly like himself; a son and grandson he never even suspected he had until today. A son and grandson he had just refused to meet.
"Tony," he whispered back at his lover, his voice soaked in despair. "You know why I had to do what I did," he told the other man, trying desperately to gain reassurance that he had done the right thing. After all, it was done for the most altruistic reasons, wasn't it? He could help so many more people in the state, including gays, if he remained safely under the radar.
Tony picked up the sketch still lying on the coffee table and studied it; he assumed Justin must have been the artist, since he had the portfolio with him and seemed nonplussed about tearing it out of the sketchpad. Whoever the artist was, he was phenomenal, because even without having seen them in person yet, the charcoal likeness of the boy and his father to Fin was uncanny; same nose, same face, same expressions, even the same body type – lean, muscled and toned. He shook his head, still partly in disbelief that his partner had been presented with one of his most heartfelt wishes and had turned it DOWN.
"Yeah," Tony said curtly. "I know EXACTLY why you did what you did, Fin. But I still don't AGREE with it; not at all." He gently placed the precious drawing back down on the coffee table before he rather abruptly pulled his hand away from his partner's and stood up to face the brunet, his eyes flashing with resolve. "You gave up one of your biggest dreams for the possibility of fulfilling a political ambition. How does it feel, Fin?" he said reproachfully. "How does it feel to know you were handed a ready-made family on a fucking silver platter and you gave it BACK?"
"That's NOT fair, Tony, and you know it!" Fin snapped. "There's more on the line here than just a political ambition. If I'm elected governor, it would have an impact throughout the state, even for US. And, yes, even for my SON and my GRANDSON. Did you not notice that Justin and my son are being married in West Virginia? Why? Because they CAN'T get married HERE, that's why! If I'm elected governor, that's going to change. Hell, even you and I can get married then. That's what you always wanted, isn't it?"
Tony had to snort ironically at that statement. "That's a laugh, Fin. Don't try and persuade me that you did the right thing by dangling THAT prize in front of me! Are you saying that if you're elected Governor, all of a sudden you would come out of the closet and get married to me? Come ON, Fin! I know better than that!" He had to look away as his eyes filled with tears – tears of longing and regret for one of the things he wanted so badly but he knew he could never had – not as long as the man he loved refused to openly acknowledge their own relationship. "If you're trying to suggest we could get married secretly after you get it approved here and not tell anyone else, you can FORGET that idea," Tony said flatly. "There is NO WAY I would agree to that. It's either 100%, Fin, or NOTHING."
Fin sighed as he rubbed his hand through his hair in frustration and looked up almost pleadingly at his partner, the man he had been with now for almost ten years through good times and bad. "Tony….We've discussed this so many times before. I thought you understood and were willing to abide by my wishes for the greater good. I've been planning for this opportunity for several years now. It's NOW or NEVER, Tony…Grayson's not running again and my name is being bandied about right and left as THE right candidate this time. I've finally gotten the backing of ALL the party leaders for a change. I'll never get this chance again – don't you see that?"
Tony shook his head in resignation, his hands on his hips as he eyed the other man in agitation. "Who are you trying to convince here, Fin – me or YOU? And, yeah, maybe you DID talk me into staying out of the spotlight before and acting like we were just old college pals for the sake of your political career. But that was BEFORE we found out you have a son – a SON, Fin! And a GRANDSON, for God's sake! And it was ALSO before Justin Taylor showed up here and made me realize that I shouldn't have to settle for second best or continue to live a lie. We don't have anything to be ashamed of, Fin! And listening to that young man call you out about for being a coward – a fucking COWARD – made me realize that that's exactly what I AM, too!"
"Tony….," Fin began helplessly; his thoughts were whirling sporadically in a multitude of emotions over the day's events. It had been shocking enough discovering he had a family, but now his own partner was turning against him. How did a day that seemed so full of political promise turn into such a fucking mess?
"Don't say it, Fin," Tony said, not giving his partner a chance to continue any further; he was SO tired of hearing the "logical" excuses for Fin doing what he did. He stared down at the man he deeply loved and thought he would be spending the rest of life with; the only problem was, if he DID, he was beginning to realize it would never be a life that would be out in the open, no matter WHAT Fin said. Not until the man realized that by living a lie, they weren't really living at ALL.
"I think we could use some time apart," he decided, his voice sounding firm even though his heart was breaking at the prospect; in all the years they had been together, no matter HOW many times they had fought, they had never been apart for more than a day without at least seeing or talking to each other to settle things. And when they traveled on business, they could be worlds apart physically but just hearing the other's voice was always enough to keep them firmly grounded to each other. Now, that dream of a future together seemed to be irreparably shattered in light of the day's events.
Fin stood up , alarmed at his partner's statement, and placed a hand on the blond's upper arm in a slight sense of disbelief. "You don't mean that, Tony," he implored. "Don't let this change what we have."
Tony shook his head sadly. "It already has," he told him. The two stared at each other for a few seconds before Fin reluctantly released his hold on his partner and sighed. "I still love you, Tony," he countered softly. "That will never change."
Tony twisted his lips in irony. "I still love you, too, Fin," he replied. "But I just can't BE with you right now. I'll….go stay at the Ritz downtown for a while." Both men knew the place well; when they wanted to be discrete and travel some place where they could be together without fear of discovery, they always migrated toward the rather expensive hotel downtown for a secret weekend. The owner there was gay himself and excelled in protecting their secret trysts; the steps he took to preserve their identity and see that the press was kept at bay was invaluable to their sanity and appreciated enormously by both men. Tony thought ironically that they had felt more comfortable there recently than they did in their OWN home due to the press constantly milling about their residence at all hours of the day and night, hoping to be the first one to break the latest news on the influential senator's newest political meanderings.
This can't be happening, Fin thought increduously as he stared over at Tony, but it WAS. He was terrified of what the future held for them and couldn't imagine his life without the other man. His personal needs warred greatly with his political ambition as he stood there, watching his partner possibly walking out of his life forever.
"Call me later?" Fin finally beseeched his partner almost desperately; he still felt he was doing the right thing in order to help the largest amount of people who needed it, but on the other hand he almost couldn't bear the thought of not waking up tomorrow morning beside the man who had been his only partner for almost a decade now.
Tony considered the request for a few seconds before he nodded. "Yeah….I'll call you," he verified softly as he slowly began to walk toward the back door. "Just….don't expect anything, okay? We've got a lot to work out here, Fin. And I'm STILL not going to keep living a lie. You're going to have just figure out what's most important to you this time – your career or living a life with the man who loves you and the family who seems to urgently need you." Although, as Tony thought about the brave and proud young man who had been in Fin's office today, perhaps FIN needed his family more than his SON did; something told him that Justin could fulfill the role of family in Brian Kinney's life just fine.
As Tony softly closed the requisition door leading outside into the hallway, Fin stood there helplessly in silence, his thoughts a mass of seemingly irreconcilable emotions. He leaned down once more to retrieve the meticulously-drawn sketch of his son and grandson, his eyes drinking in every minute detail of the work as his face clouded over in frustration. Suddenly, everything that he was about to lose caught up with him and, before he even realized what he was doing, he violently crumpled the drawing into a wrinkled mess and threw it into the nearby wastebasket; turning on his heel he slowly walked over almost as if in a trance and sat down at his desk just before the phone rang with yet another politician needing one more favor from the influential man. Right now, he actually welcomed the intrusion; anything to dull the sharp, stinging pain he was currently feeling in his own heart.
Same Time – State Building Parking Lot
Justin sat behind the wheel of his car, fuming in frustrated irritation. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew this would be the probable outcome as soon as he began to suspect Brian's father was gay. He understood the way politics worked, and the outside forces that always played a part in it. But how could anyone run for office on a platform that was built on one, big, fat, fucking lie? Even if O'Connor DID manage to keep his sexual orientation, as well as his son's, a secret until he was elected, eventually the reality would leak out somehow. What was the man going to do then when all hell broke loose? How would he be able to fulfill so many promises he was espousing (or hoping for, at least) if no one trusted him? Didn't he REALIZE that? The man was obviously well-read and intelligent; Justin couldn't believe he hadn't thought of that fact yet.
The worst part of the whole thing was that he was going to have to tell Brian; tell him that yes, he HAD found his real father, but NO, he wanted nothing to do with him. He winced as he thought of how much pain that was going to cause his fiancé. How utterly, unbelievingly unjust. He now knew without a doubt that Brian's supposed parents really WEREN'T his parents, but his real mother, who he had never had the chance to meet, was dead already; now, his real father might as WELL be, too. At least Brian's grandparents were eager to meet him; that would help to soften the blow somewhat. But it still was nowhere NEAR the positive outcome Justin had hoped for.
Thinking about the grandparents, he reached inside his jacket pocket to withdraw a small, white slip of notebook paper that had Sean and Kathy Blackwell's name and cell phone number on it. He gently fingered the piece of paper, weighing whether to call them and see if they could come out to Britin, perhaps as early as tomorrow, to see their grandson. Gus would be arriving at the end of the week, though, to spend some time with him and Brian before the wedding; he knew the Blackwells were dying to see not only their grandson, but their great-grandson as well. Perhaps it would work out best, then, that they wait until Gus arrives next weekend so they could meet BOTH of them. At this point, Justin decided rather morosely, it wouldn't matter if they waited a little while, since Brian's father wasn't interested in pursuing a relationship with him.
Damn, he thought sadly; to have come so far and still not be able to give Brian what he was so desperately hoping to give him seemed unfathomable. Of course, less than a month ago he didn't even know that Brian WAS adopted. But now that he did, he couldn't believe his partner's father was turning his back on such a precious gift.
He could at least unite Brian with his grandparents, though. Reaching into his pocket to retrieve his cell phone, he flipped it open and realized he had been required to turn it off earlier before entering the capital building due to security regulations. As he pressed the button to turn it on, he noticed the "message waiting" icon. Navigating through the menu to "missed calls," he noticed immediately who the caller had been – Brian. And not only once, in the few hours Justin had been gone, the man had called him THREE times. Damn, impatient man, Justin thought fondly; he was a little concerned, though, about whether or not Brian would think it unusual that he hadn't answered his phone for several hours.
Normally he and Brian spoke at least once a day, if not more, so it wasn't so unusual for him to be calling. He had a feeling, though, that his fiancé was still probably getting antsy about figuring out why he hadn't answered, though. What was he going to tell him? If he kept up this subterfuge much longer, he was going to find himself sinking deeper and deeper into deception, and he was determined NOT to do that with Brian any more. He had done that once before, and it had caused both him AND Brian nothing but heartbreak, no matter HOW Brian had tried to convince everyone, including Justin, that it hadn't mattered.
But if he was going to surprise Brian with his grandparents as a wedding present, he unfortunately felt obligated to maintain the ruse just a bit longer or it wouldn't even BE a secret. Before calling Brian back, he made a vow to himself AND to the man he loved that he wouldn't keep this information from him any longer than it took for Gus to arrive over the weekend. If for some reason the Blackwells couldn't make it by then, he would come clean about everything, including Brian's father. As much as it greatly disappointed and pained him to have to tell Brian that his father did not want to see him – at least for the immediate future – this was something he couldn't keep from him. Besides, it wouldn't be long before Kathy and Sean Blackwell let that important piece of information slip, anyway, since they already knew who the father was.
He pressed the "1" speed-dial button and waited as the phone began to ring; the phone hadn't even rung one full cycle before it was quickly picked up. The man must have practically been sitting on the phone….
"About time you called me back, Mr. Taylor," a soft drawl admonished him; Brian sounded totally nonchalant, but Justin knew better. "And just where have you BEEN, young man?"
Justin smirked, wondering how old he would have to be before Brian stopped with the young and/or twink jokes. "Well, I stopped at the gym this morning to give a blow job to the new trainer there, and then had to travel down to the art gallery on the east side for a personal viewing of an extremely handsome, hung model that needed a talented artist to draw a nude of him, then I drove over to Woody's for lunch with that hot gay DJ from the morning show, THEN….."
"Enough already, Taylor!" Brian scolded him. "You're making my head dizzy with all your FUCKING activity!" Of course, Brian didn't believe his partner's explanation for ONE minute. "Since you have chosen not to divulge the REAL reason why you didn't answer your phone, I will have no recourse when I get home but to punish you soundly, young man."
Justin chuckled, relieved at least that Brian wasn't exactly pressing him as to why he hadn't answered his calls. "I guess just admitting I turned the phone off and forgot to turn it back on wouldn't be exciting enough?"
Brian heaved a silent breath at that simple explanation; his HEAD had told him there was a logical and rational explanation for why Justin had been ignoring his calls, but his heart sometimes was another matter, even NOW. He just loved the man so damn much that any possibility that they wouldn't actually go through with their marriage ceremony this time was enough for him to conjure up all sorts of implausible and unpleasant scenarios.
"Huh! Not too likely, Taylor," Brian growled. "The first reason sounds much more plausible. Just be prepared to give it up as soon as I get home. I'm ravenous."
Justin rolled his eyes and smiled. Ravenous to Brian Kinney always translated to horny as hell, and Justin knew what THAT meant; the man would be dragging him up into the bedroom the second he got home without any preamble. Truth be told, though, he was getting a little ravenous himself just listening to the sexy man's commanding tone of voice. "Are you still at work?" he asked, hoping the answer would be yes; he was still in Harrisburg and it would take a good three hours to get back home to even the loft, much less Britin – THAT would take almost an additional half-hour.
"My, my, aren't we impatient? And I thought I was ravenous," Brian responded huskily, causing Justin's heart to speed up with anticipation. "It's only 1:30 and I still have two more client meetings this afternoon. So I'm afraid you'll just have to wait to satisfy your appetite until I get home – unless the gym trainer you worked out with this morning needs a remedial lesson already."
Whew – thank goodness, Justin thought. "Well, I think I can wait – just barely – until you get home. Just don't work any overtime there – you'll be getting plenty of a workout when you get home, old man."
"Ha – we'll SEE who's UP to the challenge, Mr. Taylor. I'll be looking forward to it," Brian growled before he softly whispered a "Later" and hung up.
Justin sat there in the car, composing his thoughts. What a tangled mess this was becoming! He resolved once more to get everything out in the open by the time Gus arrived and Brian's grandparents visited; for now, his focus was on approaching Brian with the astounding news of his adoption, as well as softening the painful blow that his father didn't have the courage to meet him. Sighing, he finally turned the key in the ignition and slowly drove out of the parking lot, back toward the life he was comfortable with – one Brian's FATHER apparently couldn't – or WOULDN'T - emulate.
Johnstown, Pennsylvania – 15 minutes later
Shortly after their phone rang and he picked it up to respond, Sean Blackwell cupped his hand over the landline phone's receiver long enough to whisper, "Kathy! Pick up the other extension!"
As she rushed into the bedroom worriedly and picked up the other line, she could hear her husband speaking to another man; anyone else would have thought her husband sounded cool, calm and collected as he conversed with the unknown caller; to someone who had been married to him for almost 57 years now, though, it was immediately evident to her that her husband was excited about something. As she continued to listen in, it soon became apparent as to the reason why.
"I was hoping we would hear back from you soon, Mr. Taylor," her husband was saying as she listened in.
Immediately recognizing who the caller was, Kathy quietly came walking back into the living room with the additional cordless handset, her eyes locking on her husband's in understanding of how important this call was; the two of them had thought of nothing else but this moment since learning about their grandson and his OWN son, and they were dying to meet them to share memories of their daughter with them. "I hope you're calling to set up a good time to meet our grandson…AND great grandson."
Justin's spirits were lifted by Mr. Blackwell's apparent eagerness to meet Brian, especially after his not-so-encouraging encounter with Fintan O'Connor. "Please….call me Justin," he began before hesitating. Just how much should he go into over the phone about his encounter with Brian's father?
"Yes, that's why I'm calling you," he told them after a brief pause. "Gus, Brian's son, is flying down with his two mothers this Friday and will be staying with Brian and me at our house until the wedding. I thought this weekend, then, might be a good time to meet both of them, because the next weekend is when the actual ceremony is taking place, so I'm sure the days preceding it will be a zoo around here. Would that be convenient for you?"
During his visit with the Blackwells, Justin had explained all about how Gus had been conceived and his rather unorthodox living arrangement with Mel and Lindsey. While he could tell the older couple was initially startled by the two women sharing parenting with Brian, once they got over their initial shock, Justin was impressed to realize that they weren't repulsed by it. As in the case of Brian's sexual persuasion, they had processed the information and acted favorably on it without passing judgement. Justin couldn't help thinking how ironic it was that the gay part of Brian's newly-discovered family was the one having the most difficulty accepting it, rather than the straight relatives.
Mr. Blackwell readily replied, "Yes! We would love to meet BOTH of them! Just tell us where and when, and we'll be there," he assured him, looking over to his wife, who smiled and nodded excitedly. At last they were going to come face to face with part of their daughter's living legacy. As they had perused all of the photos Justin had left with them earlier, it had given them some degree of peace knowing that, in a way, their beloved daughter had lived on in the form of her son and grandson.
Justin let out a breath of relief that at least part of his surprise may actually go right. "They are due to get in pretty late in the evening on Friday. Why don't the two of you plan on coming out for lunch on Saturday – say around 1:30?"
Kathy nodded at her husband, who told Justin, "We'll be there, Justin. What's the address?" As Sean hurriedly wrote down the address on a nearby pad, he heard Kathy whispering something to him before he repeated the question to Justin. "What about Fin? Were you able to contact him and let him know what's going on? Will he be there, too?"
Justin let out a slight sigh of resignation and defeat at the man's question before admitting, "Yes….I actually saw - AND spoke to him - today." There was no point in hiding the fact.
"My God!" Sean exclaimed, not expecting that Justin would succeed quite so quickly; he knew from what he had read in the paper and numerous magazines that it was almost harder apparently to speak with Fin than getting into the White House to see the President. "What did he say?" he asked, extremely curious. "I bet he was even more shocked than WE were."
Justin sighed once more. "You could say that," he told the man. That was an understatement….you could say we were BOTH surprised. "He was definitely surprised." He again hesitated slightly before confiding to him, "He…..turned down meeting Brian, at least for the time being."
Justin could hear Sean's wife now, loudly registering her shock at the other man's refusal to see their grandson; evidently she had been there while they were talking and had heard the entire thing. You're kidding me!" he heard her say to her husband. "He refused? Why in the world would he DO that?"
Justin really wasn't in the mood right then to go into explicit detail as to exactly why Senator O'Connor had declined to meet with Brian; chances are, he would not only have to explain it to them on Saturday, but Brian, also. He definitely wasn't looking forward to THAT part, but it had to be done; he might as well, then, explain it to both parties at the same time. "It's…..a long story," he told them somewhat vaguely. "I'll fill you both in on Saturday, okay?"
Sean and Kathy exchanged a worried, puzzled look before the man said quietly, "Okay...We'll seen you - AND Brian and our GRANDSON - then. We can't wait."
As Justin finally ended their conversation, he noticed he was just about two hours now outside of Britin, where Brian had said he preferred they meet tonight, rather than at the nearby loft; Britin was quickly becoming their permanent residence. Eagerly, then, he drove on toward his and Brian's home, anxious to see the only person who could manage to help him forget the day's frustration and sorrow.
Britin – 3 hours later
Justin lay with his head on Brian's chest as the brunet slowly stroked his soft, blond hair; true to his word, Brian had barely gotten through the front door an hour ago before he pounced on him in the library and proceeded to literally tear his clothes off him as he had sat on the couch drawing. They had fucked passionately on the leather couch until Justin's back was so sweaty he almost stuck permanently to the slick fabric, made love slowly in the shower until all the hot water ran out, and then fucked AND made love once more in their king-sized bed, where they were relaxing now.
Their physical hunger thoroughly sated now, he could feel Brian's warm fingers idly feathering his hair; he knew his partner so thoroughly by now that he could tell by the tempo of the movement that Brian was happily getting drowsy now and slowly falling asleep. Frequently after they made love, Brian would often do just that afterward, even though God forbid if anyone should find out the great Brian Kinney actually like to snuggle after fucking and drift off into la-la land as he held Justin cocooned in his arms.
The fingers running gently through his hair finally stopped, signaling the brunet must have finally fallen asleep as Justin contemplated just how happy and fulfilled he felt with Brian, and how lucky the two of them were to have found each other. He signed sadly, knowing that this wonderful, worthy man was going to be deprived of a gift Justin had been hoping so badly to be able to provide him – a father who was proud of him and wanted to be in his life. Looks like BOTH of us have ANOTHER thing in common, Justin thought somberly, thinking inexplicably of his OWN father – a man who had at least ACTED like he loved him and was proud of him until that life-altering time when he had finally realized just who he WAS and his father, like Brian's, couldn't deal with the reality. The reasons WHY were different when it came to the two fathers – but the awful, heart wrenching result was still the same.
"What was that for?" he suddenly heard Brian's soft voice of concern, startling him slightly.
"What was what for? I….thought you were asleep," Justin admitted, turning his head to gaze up into a pair of watchful, hazel eyes presently studying him, all hint of sleep now gone.
"Well, I ALMOST was," Brian mockingly growled at him. "But someone's melodramatic sighing woke me up." His free arm tightened around Justin's shoulder as he lightly squeezed it to get the other man's attention. "You want to tell me what THAT was for?" He knew it was absolutely silly and ridiculous, but again, he was somehow filled with fear that something would go wrong before their wedding. Before, he would have been almost dancing in the aisles at the thought that any wedding between the two of them would have been called off; NOW, however, he saw things in a new perspective.
Having Justin out of his life for a year had been a major wake-up call for him. He had initially thought the bombing had served that purpose; it had certainly been horrific enough and had definitely gotten him thinking about just what – and WHO – was important in his life. But in a way, being separated from his partner physically for a year had awakened his sensibilities and priorities even further. He couldn't comprehend the idea any more of being away from Justin for an extended period of time, and he wanted the entire, fucking world now to know how he felt. Marrying the man he loved – in front of Justin's family and their friends – wasn't surrendering to tradition and burden; it was freeing him up to openly express his love and devotion to him in front of everyone else. To be able to live a life filled with happiness and fulfillment, but still with a tinge of challenge – he would expect nothing less from Justin – THAT was the greatest freedom of them ALL.
Justin winced at his partner's perception; he NEVER could prevent Brian from knowing when something was bothering him. "I'm fine," he replied lamely as he averted his eyes downward, trying hard to still his slightly-trembling hand that was resting on Brian's upper arm.
He could feel rather than see his lover's head moving before Brian whispered, "Bullshit. That was DEFINITELY a "Something's bothering me" sigh, Sunshine. Out with it," he commanded flatly, leaving no room for argument. Just to make sure Justin couldn't somehow squirm his way out of answering the question, he brought his hand firmly to bear under the blond's chin and slowly forced his partner to look up into his probing eyes.
His voice was softer this time as he whispered, "TELL me, Justin. What's bothering you?" Brian noted with concern that this was the SECOND time Justin had been noticeably quiet – the first time had been when they had eaten out several days ago. Justin has later tried to lightly explain it away by telling him it had something to do with his wedding present, but by the way his partner was acting, there had to be a lot more to it than just trying to keep some wedding gift a secret. NO Armani shoes or leather Gucci briefcase would cause THIS amount of reticence or fretting.
Justin stared back at the mesmerizing hazel eyes of his partner. Partner, as in they should share everything. Was this the right time to tell him, though? Right after they had made love? He supposed Brian would be completely relaxed right now, that was for sure. But telling him such unbelievable news while they were basking in the "afterglow" of their union? Somehow that didn't seem like the best time to discuss the shocking revelation that Brian was adopted, and had living grandparents as well as a father who didn't care to get to know him. He couldn't just blurt THAT out, and truthfully, he felt so right, so protected currently as he reveled in his partner's loving embrace that he didn't want to spoil the moment. There would be plenty of time for that shocking revelation in the next few days before Gus arrived.
He licked his lips nervously; he knew Brian would immediately hone in on his reaction to note that there WAS something, indeed, bothering him, but he just couldn't discuss it right now – not here, not in their bed. "I'm fine, Brian," he reiterated a little more convincingly this time. "I just have a lot on my mind about the wedding." At least that was SORT OF the truth, anyway. "There's just so much to think of and remember before the event."
Brian stared into the soft pools of blue, thinking once more how much that look affected him. When you look at me with so much love, Sunshine, you can get me to do ANYTHING. Including believing that nothing else is bothering you when I know that it IS. But he loved Justin enough to accept his partner's statement at face value for now; he resolved, however, to get to the bottom of just what was bothering him before their ceremony.
He curled his lips under in a tender look before saying lightly, "You just remember, Mr. Taylor, that the most important thing to remember before the event is NOT to allow Emmett full discretion regarding the bar stock. We don't need ten cases of prissy, girly-girl Cosmo drinks at the reception."
Extremely relieved that the tense moment had apparently passed, Justin responded in kind. "I'll make it my life's goal next week to make sure he's NOT placed in charge of the liquor order then," he promised, smiling slightly.
If that's the way you want to play it for now, Sunshine, that's the way we'll do it….but don't think I'm going to let this just drop, Buster…..
"Well, now that you've been punished properly," Brian said out loud. "Are you ready to go raid the refrigerator? I guess it's only fair that you get to satisfy THAT appetite, too." And maybe, just maybe, if you get fed, you'll tell me what's REALLY bothering you….
Justin nodded before Brian angled his head down to bestow a long, deep kiss on his partner's waiting lips. Just before they finally disentangled themselves from each other's embrace to get out of bed, Justin silently prayed that he was doing the right thing. Soon, Brian….Soon. I promise…..