Title: The Promise of Tomorrow
Chapter 10 - Reservations for Two, Confessions for One
A/N 1: Due to a few personal setbacks my holiday plans changed so that means AiP will not be going anywhere this holiday season so I'll be able to get lots of updates done for you all to enjoy, b/c I love writing more than anything and making you happy makes me happy! HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!
A/N 2: Okay so when I posted chapter 9 when this site was acting stupid and I tried to review reply through the system and I am hoping it worked. I hope that everyone received my usual thanks for reading and leaving a review, but if the site didn't allow a reply and you were missed then I humbly apologize and will reply this time as I usually do. Thank you all so much and hopefully you like this one just as much as you all wanted this update today!
"Wow," I whisper, almost speechless, "you look beautiful," I offer in downplayed praise. She's wearing a dark blue cocktail dress that hits just about the knee, her hair is up and whatever perfume she's wearing has an instant effect on certain body parts; yeah like they needed stimulation in the first place. Damn sometimes, I hate being a guy!
I stand transfixed in time, unable to move or utter more coherent words. My mothers words, while humorous at the time now ring loud and clear in my brain, have you taken your heart medication? I mean it's been a while since you've seen her in anything other than a pants suits right? And if she looks this amazing now fully clothed and I am fortunate to spend the night, will I actually recover when I finally see her naked? At least I'll die a happy man.
"Mac?"
"Sorry...just rendered speechless. You look amazing," I whisper and her face warms.
"Thank you."
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When I had first started getting ready, I had assumed Mac would look as handsome tonight as he always does dressed in a suit for work and to me was always handsome no matter what. But when I opened the door and saw him standing before me, dressed to the nines, my heart melted.
"You look pretty handsome yourself," I offer in praise and his lips curl into a warm smile. He's wearing a dark navy suit with, I'm assuming a dark navy dress shirt and a funky striped tie that just seems to make his blue eyes spring to life. "New tie?" I ask with an arched brow.
"My mother bought it for me," he admits in a soft tone. "Said I needed to make a good first impression for my first official 'adult' date."
"She was right," I tell him in truth as he offers me a dozen long stem red roses.
"These are for you and are from me. No coaxing needed," he gently teases.
I take the roses and can't help but lean in and plant a warm thank you kiss on his cheek, allowing my senses to drink in his warm scent and I know if we don't leave soon, both of us will be on the floor, having hot sex. "You smell good," I whisper into his ear. Just as I turn to leave, he gently grasps my arm and forces my eyes back to his.
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"For agreeing to tonight."
"Mac, I asked you."
"Oh right," his brow gently furrows. "I have wanted this for a long time. And I know I wasn't..." he starts only to have me quickly silence him with a warm kiss, our faces now inches apart.
"It was my turn," I tell him in truth before I turn and head into the kitchen to put the flowers in some water. Mac hovers in the doorway and my nervousness starts to grow once again. Why the hell am I so nervous? Get a grip, I tell myself firmly. It's just Mac! A different Mac, one you know you love and want more from than a one night stand! I do want more, I want to be his wife and Cameron's step mother; I want the life I always dreamed of since a little girl, the one I was denied. I want that more than anything else in the world.
"Stella?" His warm voice breaks my thoughts. "You still want to go right?"
I turn to face him with a warm smile as my fingers rest on his cheek. "I can hardly wait. Let me get my shoes."
"Are those new?" Mac inquires about the black stiletto's I am putting on.
"Yes. I bought them to make a good first impression for my first official 'adult' date," I counter as I stand back up to face him eye to eye. "Is it working?"
"You had me at hello. But yes they are pretty great," he whispers and I can't help but offer a wide smile in return. He helps me with my coat and soon we are outside and heading toward his SUV, my arm held firmly in his. "So where are you taking me?" He asks and I gently laugh. "What?"
"Like the way you ask that. You sound lost and then I can't help but want to take you home and..." my voice trails off as we reach the SUV.
"Stella?"
"Mac, if I continue then we'll never make it to the restaurant."
"Kinda like the sound of that," he lightly smiles as we get into his freshly cleaned Ford Escape. I give him the name of the restaurant and he looks at me in wonder.
"What is it Mac?"
"It seems like I have been waiting for forever to get to this place; right now. Where you and I are on an official date."
"Have also been waiting for this for a long time as well," I tell him as I give his hand a small squeeze.
Thankfully instead of arguing about how expensive this place will be, Mac nods his head and we are on our way. We make small talk about our case load for the week; but instead of sharing interesting or funny anecdotes about our respective teams, we talk mostly about the cases themselves and the outcomes. I want Mac to feel comfortable about his old team and never made an issue when he asked about the team but simply answered his questions and prayed he'd continue asking about them. He was kinda surprised about Adam and Haylen but I think his tone was more of relief, probably cementing in his mind that if he did return, there would be nothing awkward between Adam and myself as both of us have visibly moved on; Mac seemed settled by that notion and it was me who was relieved I think more than he.
"They miss you Mac."
"Some days, I miss them also," he had stated and my heart warmed. I wanted more than anything to keep pressing but thought better not press my luck. He has to feel like he's the one returning on his own merit; not me forcing him. But damn it can't happen soon enough!
We finally reach the upscale restaurant and I feel Mac's body stiffen next to mine and I can't help but wonder as to the reason. Did he come here with another woman? Did he not want to come here at all? Is he just nervous being on a date? Or is it something more? Finally, mostly to put myself out of my damn misery, I ask.
"You okay?"
"Not used to wearing a tie," he admits, his fingers nervously fixing it again.
"Well I think makes you look very handsome," I whisper in his ear, gently brushing the tender skin with my warm lips and forcing his to curl into a smile. "Is that it?"
"Haven't been to a place like this...well ever and um...yes just that. I'm happy I'm here with you."
"Me too."
We are shown to a small private booth and both sit down, my anxiety once again starting to build. I look at Mac and offer a weak smile as my fingers nervously fidget with whatever is within reach. Then much to my delight and surprise, Mac's warm hand covers over mine and my anxiety subsides.
"I guess this is also new ground for us," he mentions in a warm tone, his face creased into a gentle frown.
"You know we were so used to working around each other that I don't think we ever stopped to contemplate what might happen..."
"If we wanted to take things to the next level," Mac finishes, looking at me in uncertainty. "Are we at the next level?"
"I think we are a few passed that," I tell him and he smiles, nodding his head in agreement. I study his face, my eyes drowning in the warm sapphire pools before me.
"What do you want to ask? I mean it Stella, anything."
"When you first got Cameron, I mean that night...I know it's hard for you to talk about it and I wanted to wait at least, well I guess a week...damn it," my voice trails off as my eyes drop. "Is it too soon?" I ask without looking up.
"I would have told you the very next day if you would have asked. I just figured you didn't want to know."
"I want to know everything," I tell Mac in truth.
"Everything?" He arches his brows. "Wow okay..." he starts with a sigh and I just laugh as I pat his arm.
"Mac, not all at once. I am just curious as to what you did with Cameron that first night you got him."
The waiter comes and takes our appetizer and drink order, the night ahead long and unhurried, affording us the opportunity to just talk and eat at our leisure.
"I remember looking at him and seeing myself," Mac starts, his fingers gripping mine a little tighter than I had expected but since I was the one who forced this painful confession it was my duty to help him in any way I could; this was one way. "I remember shaking my head and telling myself this was a mistake and that the papers in my hands were false and that any second, Don or someone would come back and tell me it was a big joke or something like that. But as the night wore on I knew Anna wasn't coming back and Cameron was with me for good. He eventually stopped crying and then just sat and looked at me in wonder."
"Did he ask for his mother?" I wonder softly.
"Almost non stop; my answers never sufficed and I didn't expect them to. Finally he stopped asking and after about an hour of silence called me daddy," Mac's lips pause as they curl into a warm smile, his eyes almost wet. "That one word and that did it for me. I asked him if he was hungry and he just shook his head no and I asked him if he was tired and he said yes. Well I had the spare room but it was full of well...stuff, so I put him in my bed and he was out in an instant. I remember standing over him, looking down and just watching; seeing myself so alone and helpless, asleep in a strange bed."
My hand grasps Mac's once more and I watch him take a good swallow.
"Stella, my heart broke a million times that night. I was afraid to move; afraid if I walked away, even into the other room that I'd come back and he'd be gone. I just couldn't move. I watched him a bit longer before I finally got my brain to work again and knew I had to change my future plans to um...to include him. He had nothing...well not nothing but...Anna had left a small knapsack of clothes, two pairs of shoes, a book and a few toys, but that was it; the rest I had to get on my own."
Mac pauses once again and looks at me with a sad smile.
"Mac I..."
"I'm okay," he assures me in haste. "Actually it feels good to talk to you about this. I know you have um...well missed all this and," he stops and looks down. I carefully raise his eyes to look at mine and lean in and plant a loving kiss on his cheek.
"I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere. I want to hear, no matter how painful for me. But if it's too painful for you then you stop okay? I want us to enjoy tonight. No regrets."
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Hearing Stella offer that small bit of reassurance made the world of difference and motivated me to want to continue.
"I promise Stella. No regrets. Okay where was I? Right...I felt odd about undressing him, especially after I just met him so I put him into my bed as is and then after I was tired of standing I gathered his knapsack, held it firmly in my arms and sat down in the doorway and just watched him until my mother arrived a few hours later. He looked so...so innocent and lost, sleeping all alone in that large bed and I just um...I wish I had called you," I finally stop and look at her with a tormented expression. "Damn I wish I called you first!"
"I wish you had too," she admits and I can only nod.
"My mother arrived and then I told her the whole story. She started to cry as I had expected but when she saw...well myself sleeping in that bed, her grandson, she instantly changed. I took the couch that night but didn't sleep for even one minute; my mother had taken the air mattress in the spare bedroom and put it down beside my bed, beside Cameron, but she didn't sleep much either. The next morning when Cameron awoke he looked at me and started to cry, once again asking for his mother. I tried to tell him that she was gone and that I was his father and he would be living with me now, but he didn't understand. So all day, he sat by the door and cried and it killed me not to be able to do anything. I felt so helpless," I choke and Stella's fingers firmly grip mine, my eyelids trying to keep tears at bay. "I thought he hated me."
"Mac, I'm sorry...please stop," she lightly whispers as my eyes water. "I can't take seeing you like this."
"Stella I'm..."
"We can talk later."
"I don't mind, I...I need to tell you this. I have been keeping it inside for so long. Please?"
"Until you can't any longer."
So with a firm nod of my head, I press on, wanting to tell her the whole story now that it was started.
"I stayed with Cameron, mostly watching him. I mean I had never been a parent and never spent a lot of time around children; I didn't know what to do. But we needed things so my mother was assigned that task. She had spent the whole day with my VISA while I cleaned out the spare room; Cameron never leaving the front door," I finally add with some humor, feeling my mood lift a little. "She bought him a bed, dresser, oodles of toys and books; basically I was broke after that," I smirk and Stella's grasp loosens a little. "And came home with an arm full of boy's new clothing and myriad of delivery slips. She had brought some paint chips for his room and a few bedroom layouts from Home Depot and we got to work. I remember her sitting down beside him, telling him she was his grandmother and that she was going to help look after him. She told him there was a plate of food on the table for him and some toys and he could go to them whenever he wanted. I would have been lost without her."
"You know despite the fact that I um...well wasn't there," Stella interjects. "I'm glad you had her. I'm glad that...well yes this is selfish but I'm glad that if it wasn't me that it was her and only her."
I look at her in surprise and she nods her head as our first course arrives.
"Really?"
"Yes really Mac."
"I don't think it's selfish at all," I tell her in truth as my fingers tighten around hers.
"Do you want to tell me more?" She wonders.
"I do. I want you to know everything," I admit as we both start to slowly enjoy our food between confessions. "Cameron had finally pushed himself up from the floor and headed to the table. My mother and I had been in his soon to be bedroom, cleaning it out and stuff and I remember coming into the kitchen and slowly sitting down beside him, just watching. My mother scolded me for making him nervous, but I was curious. He finally looked up and offered a soft smile and my heart melted once again. Daddy do you ...ant some? He had asked and I think I nearly fainted," I pause with a smirk and look at Stella who is finally smiling once again.
"The rest of the day he spent at the table playing with his toys. But at night he would sit by the door and cry for his mother until he passed out and I put him in his bed. I called in sick on the following Monday so that I could get everything finished and by the end of Monday my old apartment ceased to exist. The following Tuesday nearly killed us both as my mother said Cameron screamed for me nearly all morning and the super had to come and make sure all was okay. So I had to take that week as holidays; citing family troubles as the reason and I spent it with Cameron. By Tuesday night however, another problem arose."
"What kind of problem?" Stella inquires.
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"He needed a bath of some sorts," Mac continued and I had to smile. "Of course I had never been a parent and didn't know the protocol about well seeing um...children naked and such so I was at a real loss. My mother simply said to ask him if he wanted a bath or a shower. Seemed odd but I did."
"What did he say?" I ask in wonder.
"He said shower. I was surprised but my mother said that boys his age could have showers if that is what they were used to. So my mother told him she was going to turn on the warm water and close the curtain so he could have some privacy but that the main door would stay open in case he slipped or something. I asked him if he wanted me to help him and he said no and I had to respect that. So I laid out new pajamas and a fresh towel and let him do his thing. It was odd watching him do it alone and I just felt so helpless once again."
"Was he okay after that?"
"I told him that I showered every day to keep clean and said he should do the same. My mother told me that I need to talk to him like he's a boy instead of a baby and so I did that right away. He didn't understand at first and the following night he fought me so I had to let it go but the next night I didn't give in and he was okay with it. By the time Friday came he allowed me to sit inside the bathroom and help dry him off. It um..." Mac's voice trails off once more and I notice him swallow hard.
"Mac?"
"It was humbling Stella. To have this small boy that I now had to look after, ask me for help. I guess it just drew us closer. Silly right?"
"Hardly. More like heart warming," I tell him firmly.
"By the time Sunday morning came I was in the shower and much to my surprise he came and pushed the shower curtain open and wanted to have a shower with me. Daddy can I shoer ...ith you, he had asked in such a sad tone that my heart went out to him and I couldn't say no. Maybe I should have."
"Why?" I ask as I tell my brain not to picture Mac naked in the shower. It doesn't work and a few seconds later my face is flushed with naughty images of the handsome man before me.
"Well he started to ask um...well questions about his body and uh...yeah well..." Mac's voice trails off as he quickly takes a sip of wine and then looks back at me with a sheepish smile.
"About his small body parts?" I conclude and Mac nods his head yes.
"I was so embarrassed at first; thought I was doing something illegal by telling him how everything worked and what it was all used for," Mac pauses as he fiddles with his tie once more. I stop his fingers and he looks at me with a smirk. "Thankfully he only asked once."
"Just wait until he enters school," I tease. Then much to my surprise Mac says something, neither of us expected.
"That'll be your job as mother to tell him all that," Mac smiles and then stops and looks at me in surprise. "That is if you want that I mean..." he starts in a nervous panic only to have me lean over and kiss him quickly on the lips.
"I do what that," I whisper softly. "I want it all."
"Are you sure?"
"Mac, you had me at you in the shower," I wink and his face flushes.
"Right," he states with a small laugh. "Well after that I had to go back to work and explained to him what was going on. I immediately put in for no evenings or weekends; telling my superior that I was just prepping my team as I had done in Chicago. Thankfully he didn't question me at first."
"And how was Cameron?"
"He was pretty miserable the first few days, my mother told me, but there was nothing I could do, I had to work," Mac admits with a heavy sigh. "But a few days later he bounced back and allowed my mother to set up a daily routine of outings, naps and a few other things to help him get through the day until I was home to spend time with him each night until he went to sleep and then on the weekends."
"Well I personally think you have done an amazing job," I mention as I lean over and gently brush a stray crumb off his lower lip. "Amazing job."
Mac looks at me, his eyes once again locked with mine and I finally feel my own tension starting to ease and I pray his as well. We finish our appetizer but am not surprised when neither of us asks for a second glass of wine, opting for sparkling water instead.
"I don't drink much any more," my turn to confess as I look away. Mac's fingers touch mine, forcing my eyes upward once again.
"Neither do I. Tough lesson to learn right?"
"But a valuable one," I comment as my fingers start to play with his, the warmth from them starting to emanate between us once again; and I can't help but wonder if just this amount of touching generates this much heat, how much would full on full body contact generate? Would I even survive? Probably not.
"Well he seems pretty well adjusted now," I comment, not allowing the silence to build between us.
"He's a remarkable kid," Mac tells me with a warm smile of pride. "He's smart too."
"He's your son Mac. That's a given."
"Well I hope he does better in school than I did."
"I thought you did well?"
"Why do you think I joined the Marine's as soon as I graduated?" Mac counters and I lightly shake my head.
"Whatever you say Mr. Modesty," I tease and his face breaks into a warm smile once again. We both place our dinner orders, not even realizing that nearly an hour and half has already passed.
"After that I asked Cameron which colors he wanted for his room and we had fun painting it together. Well I did most of the work," Mac chuckles. "But I didn't care. I just loved spending time with him. At first it was tough and seemed almost like a burden."
"Why?"
"I guess because at first he really didn't want to be with me. He sure forced me to learn patience however. I couldn't just let my temper get the best of me as it wasn't his fault, part of it was mine. But after the first few weeks past by, it was much better and I loved spending time with him. I remember the first time I woke up to see him watching me..."
'I had finally slept a few hours, Cameron's crying subsided long ago, allowing me a few extra hours of graceful solitude. However, when I opened my eyes, he was watching me in silence. His eyes wide, but his mouth offered no words.
'Cameron?' I asked in concern as I quickly pulled myself from sleep. 'Everything okay?'
'Can't seep daddy,' he mumbled in misery.
'Want to sleep with me?'
He simply nodded his head and then with my help climbed into bed beside me, curled up with his favorite teddy bear under the covers and was out like a light.
"I remember just watching him and thinking myself that he must really trust me or love me or whatever to even want to be that close to me that soon. I think it was just because he wasn't used to being alone so much as opposed to him wanting to be with me."
"Give him some credit Mac, he wanted to be with you."
"He was so small and I just watched, almost afraid to close my eyes or move as I didn't want to wake or hurt him in any way. His face was at peace and it was odd seeing myself...well beside me..." Mac's voice stops as he offers a slight smirk.
"Sounds adorable."
"Was unnerving at first. I remember when I first got the security gate so that he couldn't wander around by himself, in the event that he woke up before me. Heaven forbid he ever got out of the apartment and I didn't know. So I had put up the gate and the next morning he let me have it."
"What did he do?" I ask in wonder.
"He yelled until I finally stumbled out of bed and up to his side. I explained what it was for and then got one of those kid monitors and said if he woke up and wanted to be with me then he could call into it. My mother said I was being unreasonable, so it mostly stays open now. He's only broken one thing and thankfully it wasn't important or expensive but he felt bad; hard to handle when he cries, I just feel terrible," Mac stops and takes a deep breath before looking at me with a frown but doesn't say anything further.
"What?" I have to wonder.
"Aren't you tired of hearing me talk?" He asks in surprise as we start into our main meals. "I mean I have been talking non-stop."
"You know all about what I have done the past four years Mac and what I haven't told you, I'm sure Don has given you the rest of the boring details. Trust me I want to hear it all."
"Are you sure?"
"Mac, I have missed so much. Work is well work. I'm sure your lab functions as well...as well mine. I have told you about the team; now I want to know the stuff I can't guess," I admit in truth as I lean in a bit closer. "I want to know what I have missed for the past four years; the important stuff. The stuff about you and your son."
"But I thought we weren't going to rehash the past and..." Mac stops in confusion.
"We are not going to rehash what we personally did as in..."
"Ah right got it," Mac agrees in haste. "No point," he states and it's my turn to agree.
"No point at all. It's done. But your son...Mac I want to know all about him. I can't get that from anyone other than you; I want to know about Cameron."
Mac stops his actions, putting down his fork and once again wraps his fingers around mine and offers a small squeeze.
"Mac?"
"I can't explain how happy that I am here with you and how...how glad I am that you want to know about Cameron and aren't...aren't afraid to want to know him and have him a part of your life."
"That still bothers you doesn't it?" I ask and Mac nods his head. "Why?"
"Because I want this so badly."
"What, you and me?"
"A family Stella. A real family for all three of us," Mac pauses and looks at me directly, a small lump forming in my throat. "I don't want to lose that. I sometimes wonder if I'm pushing to hard and I'll lose it."
"I'm not going anywhere Mac, I promise."
"Stella I..."
"Mac?" I dare to ask, my heart racing as to what he might confess next.
"Stella, I have to tell you something important."
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My heart is racing so fast that I'm surprised I haven't passed out yet. For a brief second I wonder if my confession will be received in the way I hope it will be; but better to offer it now, rather than later and have her thinking I had an ulterior motive in mind.
"Mac?" Stella's voice asks in a soft whisper.
I take her hand and firmly hold it in mine before I lean in closer, my lips touching her cheek and whisper in her ear the words I should have said years ago, "I love you, more than anything."
I allow my face to linger by hers for a few seconds more, the heat from us continuing to grow. But when I pull back I notice Stella's green eyes glistening and her lips are curled into a warm smile. Before I can offer another word, her fingers gently wrap around the back of my neck and she rewards my confession with a firm but electric kiss; one that forced me right away to loosen my tie. With her face still attached to mine, she in turn offers me the words I have been begging to hear since I flew to Greece.
"I love you too Mac, with all my heart."
I finally pull back and allow blue to collide with green in a moment of heated passion before we finally break apart for good. The words, "check please," barely escaping my mouth fast enough. Stella just offers a small laugh as she squeezes my hand and my heart rate starts to slow.
"Let's stay for dessert Mac. Is that okay?"
I hadn't intended to offer such a heartfelt confession at the restaurant, wanting the spot to be a bit more private but my mother told me when the time was right I would know and act on it and I did just that. And no matter what happens later tonight, if anything, I hope that our emotional confessions are paving the way for a solid romantic relationship; one that we both know is long overdue.
"Did you still want dessert?"
"Chocolate covered Mac?" Stella teases and my face deepens in color. "Would like that very much."
"Okay," I reply with a nervous tone, her fingers still intertwined with mine.
"You pick," Stella tells me as she shoves the dessert menu into my hands.
"I'm not good at picking."
"Mac you picked lunch for us remember?"
"Right," I gently frown as I look at the menu. I finally gesture to the waiter, point to the item I want, asking for two spoons and two after dinner coffee's.
"So how is Don?" Stella finally asks as our coffees arrive a few minutes later and our hands are forced to break apart to attend to the steaming beverage.
"He's doing a lot better then when we first started working together. I think mostly it was an adjustment thing; new house, new partner, new team..." my voice trails off as I take a sip of the black liquid in my hands. "I know it's still hard on him. Why? Think he wants to go back? Did he ever say that to you?"
"He said he would if you would," she admits and I look at her in surprise.
"He said that?" I ask with arched brows and Stella nods her head. "I..."
"Mac, I'm not asking you to make a decision right now, you asked and so I'm telling you," she reminds me in haste as our dessert arrives. Stella looks at the chocolate creation that is placed before us and then at me with a wide grin.
"Next best thing?" I offer weakly as she takes the first spoonful and playfully brings it to my mouth, offering me the first taste. I open my mouth to taste it but after only having taken half, she quickly pulls the spoon away and kisses my mouth, licking away the chocolate and sending me into a panic that we'll be kicked out for such a public display of affection. Thankfully we didn't draw that much attention.
"Mmm chocolate covered Mac," she whispers and I can't help but smirk as I reach for my own spoon. I want to try the same but as I bring the piece of chocolate clad cutlery to her lips, my heart starts to race and I frown. However, her fingers gently encase mine and guide the spoon back to her mouth, letting me know she wants me to continue on my present course of action. I of course am only too happy to comply; taking much delight in tasting the sweet sludge off her lips before I quickly pull back, my face red.
"You're right, chocolate covered Stella is tasty," I confess in a low tone and she lightly giggles before she picks up her own spoon and we continue to eat the rest like two normal adults instead of two love struck teenagers.
"What is Cameron's favorite dessert?" Stella queries as we finish the rest of our dessert and then linger over whatever is left in our cups of coffee.
"Dibs," I answer and Stella wrinkles her nose as she chuckles. "We had gone to the park a few months back and it was warm and I wanted to reward him with something sweet. He picked out the small tub of Dibs and then a few minutes later they were gone and I'm sure you can guess what happened next?"
"He threw up?" Stella asks with an amused smile.
"Into the SUV," I reply as I remember the memory. "I was angry at first but mostly at myself for not stopping him. I quickly learned not to indulge his every request; no matter how much he insists. So after that I was a bit firmer and it's been okay ever since. But the ride back home was miserable for both of us, and yes I did clean the SUV before I went home," I add in haste. "I thought that would have been the last of it, but we were in the grocery store a few days later, in the frozen foods section when he runs to the ice cream area and grabs a large tub of Dibs."
"Chocolate or vanilla?" Stella wonders.
"Chocolate on chocolate," I answer with a smile as I remember the happy look on my son's face as he held the small tub up for me to purchase.
"Of course you couldn't say no."
"Couldn't say no," I admit in truth. "Sadly I ended up eating most of them on the way home and then spent the rest of the night with the worst case of indigestion I think I have ever known," I finish my story and she just laughs.
"Well I know what to keep in the fridge for dessert then," Stella tells me and I look at her in wonder. "That and Hungry Man right?"
"You spoiled us on Wednesday," I confess as I take her hand and firmly wrap mine around it. I stare at her fingers for about a minute, my mind working up the nerve to ask her if she wants to go back to her place and what she'll say. Yes right? I look up and her smile gives me the courage I need to continue.
"You want to leave right?" She asks and I simply nod my head, my lips starting to curl upward. "Well we have been here almost three hours."
"Really?" I ask in shock and it's her turn to nod in agreement. "Check please?" I ask the waiter as he passes by and Stella stifles a small laugh.
"Mac I'm paying remember," Stella insists and I just shake my head.
"You already bought dinner for me and Cameron on Wednesday," I remind her as I take the bill and quickly pull out my wallet.
"Mac..."
"Next time Stella," I insist and she can do little more than shake her head at my actions.
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"You and your old fashioned chivalry Mac."
"You love it don't you."
"I love you, so yes I love it," I tell him in truth. "But next time you better leave it at home," I gently warn and he laughs.
When Mac told me he loved me, my heart I think stopped for a few seconds until those few precious words were uttered. I had been waiting it seems like forever for him to confess how he feels and I knew I had to justify my own feelings in return. I do love him more than anything and wanted him to know; but I also wanted him to tell me so that I wouldn't be forcing him to a level he might not be ready for. I watch him pay the bill, but when he looks up at me his face is telling me something new.
The look in Mac's eyes right now is one of pure hungry desire; a look I'm sure my eyes are offering him in return. I know he wants something more than a good night kiss, and I'd be lying if I said my body wasn't aching for his right now. But what about his son? I can't just assume that his mother will take him for the night or that Mac will even want to stay the entire night. But as we get our coats and Mac's hand rests on the small of my back as we exit the restaurant, I know that something more than a good night kiss will be put on the table.
We reenter the small SUV and Mac's warm scent is finally allowing my brain to act on what I wasn't able to in the restaurant. As he starts up the engine and allows it to warm up a bit, I gently lean over and press my lips to his ear. "Bad boy dinner was supposed to be on me," I whisper. But before he can answer I cover his mouth with mine and plant a warm firm kiss on his inviting lips. "Just reminding you," I smile as I pull back, almost out of breath.
"Next time," is all he can seem to manage and I have to gently smirk as he pulls us back into traffic, heading for home and maybe more than just a passionate token in parting.
"Well thanks for dinner," I offer as I take his free hand and hold it in mine.
"You know I have always wanted to go there," Mac confesses. "Stella I love you," he starts once again and my heart naturally skips a beat at hearing him say he loves me in such a warm tone. "I have wanted this moment since...since I first took off that band of gold. I told myself that if I ever got that opportunity it would be because we both wanted to build on something amazing."
Hearing Mac's heartfelt confession made my eyes water and my love for him grow even more; if that was possible. And more than anything, I'm glad that we are both in a sober state and the words we are offering are true and heartfelt and something we won't be regretting or questioning in the morning.
"I love you too and want more than anything to wake up with you in my arms. I know in my heart that we will have time to wake up together in your home with Cameron joining both of us, but when you are both ready for that."
"Stella, when that time comes, it'll be more than a casual affair," Mac states in a low tone, his lips once again inches from mine.
"Mac?"
"It'll be on a permanent basis; as a real family."
"I'd like that."
XXXXXXXX
"Mac, he's your son," I remind him gently. "He needs to know all this from you first."
"I just want usall three of us to be together."
"But you're not ready," I huff and he is quick to shake his head no.
"I am ready," he insists in haste. "Just...Stella I have screwed up in the past so much on this and I just want to do what's right for...well everyone."
"Mac, you have taken into consideration, your mother, your son, your team and me. The most important component in this decision, however, is you. What do you want?"
"I want you to marry me," Mac confesses in a firm tone, locking blue with green.
I wasn't prepared for such a confession and so my eyes widen automatically in response. "Mac?"
"Stella, will you marry me?"
"I..."
A/N: Sorry and please don't hate me for leaving it here but you'll have to wait for the whole confession and Stella's reply. Think she'll take this seriously? Hope you liked this chapter and want more next week. Thanks so much once again and please review before you go!