My wedding is in one week from today and even though its a week I can't help, but be nervous. My wedding is IN A WEEK! Anyone would be nervous and freaked out. I mean at least those people love each other. Even if I didn't love Zach I'd have to marry him anyway, but I have no clue what I feel about him. I'm so stressed with this whole thing that I seriously might tear my hair out. And our parents aren't making things better they only add to it. They've been running around crazy to get this wedding ready by Wednesday. Everything is perfect according to them its just the sitting chart there freaking out about I honestly don't even know half the names on that list. Most of the people coming are friends with mine and Zach's parents, so the only people I know are mine and Zach's parents, my Aunt Abby, my Uncle Joe, Liz, Bex, Macey, Nick, Jonas, Grant, Alex and Nico.
I really need to talk to somewhere about my little problem or I might explode, but none of my friends can know that this is an arrange marriage because apparently that would be bad for business, And that is all my parents care about is there damn business. Well my mom does my dad has been more caring since the lunch incident, so maybe I could talk to my dad about it. Yeah I'm going to have a walk with my father because we've gotten closer which makes me happy and I hope it makes him happy too. I'm glad he's at least trying to make everything up to me unlike my mother. Alright I've decided to go talk to my father about my little problem if you can even call it that.
"Zach!" I called down the stairs because I honestly didn't feel like looking for him. "I'm going to my parents house I need to talk to my dad about something" I didn't even stop when walking to the door I just coutinued, but Zach grabbed me by my waist and pulled me into the living room. He sat down with me in his lap and his arms were around my waist. I tried to squirm my way out, but his grip just tightened.
"I'm sorry what did you say? I didn't hear you" He told me still not letting go of me which I didn't understand. I mean I like when he held me like this, but I needed to figure out my feelings for him before the wedding, so I at least know how things are going to happen. I mean even if I didn't love him I'd still have to marry him and I'd still have to have his child. I think I love Zach, but I'm not sure thats why I want advice from someone who actually sure they loved the person they were marrying, so thats why I'm going to go talk to my father.
"I'm going to see my dad I need to talk to him." I was still trying to get out of his grip and guess what. He still didn't let me go, but I turned around so I was straddling him. His arms were still around my waist so I put my arms around his neck and leaned forward. He did the same and soon our lips met in the middle. This was the perfect way to distract him and he didn't seem to realize what I was doing, so once he moved his hands to my neck and hair. I put my hands on his arms and he licked my bottom lip asking for entrance which I gladly gave it too him. After about another minute or so of making out I pulled away and started headed to the door without giving him a goodbye, but once I got to the door I turned around and of course I saw that stupid smirk of his. I shook my head and him and went out the front door to my car.
On the way to my parents house I coutinued to think if I really did love him. I mean these last two months have been great with him. I can tell him anything I want, but I needed to know if I did love him to go through with this whole thing if I couldn't I dont know what I'd too I couldn't run away my parents always told me to never run away from my problems and I just can't do that to Zach anway, but if I do love Zach would he love me back. I mean I know were all cozy around each other and everything, but that doesn't mean he loves me or that I love him, it could just be that we like each other, but if this wasn't arrange we would probably never make it together. We haven't fought which is a good sign.
I was thinking so much I barely noticed the drive to my parents house, but I didn't get out of my car I just sat there and looked at the place I once called home. The place that was my nightmare and my safe haven. I stepped out of my car and headed to the door. I didn't knock there was no point I just walked in like I owned the place, but its not like anyone cared or noticed. I knew my father was home which he was probably in his study like he normally was when he was home, so I knew exactly where he was.
I knocked on the study door and I heard a faint come in. As I walked my father didn't even bother to look up at, but once he did his whole face brightened which made me smile. I was really glad my father and I worked things out. I felt a lot better about my childhood, but were okay now which is completely okay with me.
"Hey dad." I said and he looked so much better than when I first walked in the room. He got up from his desk and walked up to hug me. A couple weeks ago I would've been really confused as to wy my father would hug me, but now I could hug him back and it'd feel right and that made me smile. My mother and I were still working on our relationship, but at least I have no parent.
"Hey cam what brings you here?" My dad ask. He didn't say it bluntly which I was thankful for. "Unless you just wanted to see your old man which would be completely fine too." I think my dad was getting nevous which I thought was really funny. I couldn't stop myself from laughing.
"Nah I came here to talk to you and its really important to me because I just need to know." I told him. He looked really confused so I coutinued. "Well I don't really know how to put this, so I'm just gonna come right out and say it."He nodded, so I took that as for me to go on "I think I'm in love with Zach, but I don't know and I'm really confused and I really really need your help." He looked kinda happy and kinda sad at the same time and I really have no clue why. I guess he's happy because I'm talking to him about this and no one else. Well there really isn't anyone else for me to talk to about this and I feel like my dad would know seeing as the way he looks at my mother I'd say it was the same way he looked at her when he realized he was in love with her, so I thought he'd be my best choice for advice, but I don't get why he'd look sad. He was completely okay with it in the beginning, but why not now?
"Well how do you feel when he's around." He asked me and it sounded like he forced it came out of his mouth. I have him a confused looked, but he completely ignored it.
"Um I don't really know how to explain it. I feel like I can act however I want with him around and he won't care if I'll do something stupid he'll join me instead of laughing at him. Me and him can talk about such stupid things and not care. He makes me laugh all the time and I like being around him. I don't know its really hard to explain." I finish and my father had tears in his eyes and I guess that kinda explains it all. My fathers tear basically tell me that I am in love with Zachary Goode.
Seeing my father like this made me start to cry too, so I walked up to him and hugged him and he hugged me back. We cried together for I don't know whole long, but It was okay because he was my dad and I loved it.
"My little girl is all grown up now" My dad whispered more to himself than me, but I was glad that he thought I was his little girl.
"I'm still your little girl daddy. I'm just a little older." I told him pulling away, so I could see his face and he smiled at me. His tears stopped and he smiled at me. I felt like everything was right in the world right now in this moment. I wanted to keep this father daughter moment right now. I wanted to keep it and see it whenever I was down or when I just needed to know that my father as always loved me, but just couldn't show it. I needed to hold on to this moment and keep it forever. I will never let this go.
"I know sweetheart, but you don't need me anymore." He still looked upset, but not as much since I called him 'daddy', but he was still really upset because he finally realized that I wasn't going to be here forever and that I was growing up and there was nothing he could do about it. He didn't wanted me to be his little girl that would ask him to do everything for me even though I always did ask and he never did. I bet he wishes that he could go back and change what he did, but we both know he can't but I don't care I wouldn't change a thing.
"I will always need you dad. Your my father and if I didn't need you them why would I be here right now." I told him and honestly I wasn't lying either that was 100% true. I will always need my dad and being here right now just proves that. He smiled, but didn't say anything else. He just walked up to me and hugged me again, but this time I didn't wanna let go. I didn't wanna let go of my daddy. I will always need my father and I can't believe it took my this long to realize that.
"Uh I think its time for me go dad." He looked kinda of disappointed that I had to go but he still smiled at me and walked me to the door. I hugged him once last time before heading to my car. And on the ride all I could think about what how to tell Zach that I loved him.