Dedicated to: Joy

Clarice's POV

I was in New York with my son and ex-husband when the news of Leslie Shay's death finally reached me.

I was just looking in my letter box for mail when I noticed a rather formal looking letter. I picked it up along with my bills and went inside to relieve the babysitter. I kept thinking back to the time I just upped and left Shay again, for the second time. I knew she was hearbroken but I had to do it for my son.

I placed the mail on the bench before picking up my son and giving him kisses, then out of the corner of my eye I saw that it was from Firehouse 51. Chief Wallace Boden, to be exact. I knew it would have to be bad if the Chief was writing to me. I decided to make dinner for us both before even thinking of opening. I had to prolong it. I knew whatever was in that envelope had to be bad.

I put him to bed before going and having a shower myself. I stood in the shower and let the water cascade down while I thought of the 2-3 years I had spent with Shay in that little dingy apartment we rented. Where everything was peeling and leaking. I remember the night I left, I just packed my stuff without telling her, and when she got home she caught me with my suitcase half packed. She knew I was leaving, I knew I had broken her heart. Then appearing out of nowhere, married and pregnant sent her off guard. I was still in love with her. I knew Gabby didn't appreciate having me back in Shay's life. Then as we were about to buy a house together, I upped and left again after my husband served me with custody papers. I knew I had to move to New York just to keep my son.

I got out of the shower and dried off before changing into my pajamas and padding out to kitchen to grab myself a glass of wine. I knew I would need one. Or five, if I was going to get through this letter.

I opened it and this is what I found inside.

Dear Ms Carthradge,

I am sorry to inform you that, Ms Leslie Elizabeth Shay was killed in the Line of Duty of May 14th, 2014. She was on a call when the building they were in where the roof collapsed in and she received a severe blow to the head with a beam. Paramedic, Gabriela Dawson did all she could while they were in the building but she had already succumbed to her injuries. The funeral was held on 21st of May, 2014.

With the bottom of my heart, I pray to God that her soul now rests in peace.

Yours truly,

Chief Wallace Boden

Chicago Fire Department

My heart just sunk to the bottom of my stomach. I dropped the glass of wine that I had in my hand and just collapsed in a fit of tears as I held the letter close to my chest. My heart was broken and I knew there would be a huge piece missing. The girl I was still in love with was gone. There was nothing I could do. I thought of Kelly and how he was coping and I knew he wouldn't be. I knew I had to make a trip to Chicago to see them all.

It was meant to be always Leslie! How can life go on without you?

Please read and review :)

With writing these chapters and POV's, I have cried with writing each chapter. I know what its like to lose your best friend/sister, as I'm sure all my readers do.

Thankyou all so much for the reviews. It means a lot.

This is my take on how Clarice is feeling and the emotions she would have, Let me know who's POV you want in the next chapter!