Part X

One month later

Old Hogwarts habits resurfacing, I drowned myself in books. Whenever Flourish and Blotts didn't have many customers, I'd bury my nose in a book. Fiction, non-fiction, biographies, even Rita Skeeter. I didn't care, as long as it kept me occupied. As long as it kept me from thinking.

Home was a different today. There, I didn't have the comfort of knowing people were around; of this strange sense of companionship. At home, I couldn't focus on the quiet chatter of my co-workers, and for once in my life, reading Hogwarts; A History for the thousandth time didn't help.

The quiet in my flat bothered me like it never had before. I kept expecting to hear the sound of soft footsteps, and Draco's constant absense weighed down on me that sometimes, it was hard to breathe. It was frightening how used I'd gotten to his presence.

A month with no word, and I was still hung up.

It made me angry. It set me on edge that after everything, he had just left. I was angry at myself for being angry. I should have expected that Draco was the sort of person that would run at the first sign of danger; of getting in too deep.

Most of all, it made me angry that I was still expecting him to come back.

But if anything, Draco had his pride. A part of me knew that he wouldn't try to come around after that declaration.

I was a mix of emotions, all of it clashing together and welling up into something strange inside my chest. I kept up with the Daily Prophet, and sometimes, there would be a small section on the Malfoys. Astoria was always mentioned.

But I had my pride too. As much as I wanted to reach out, and mend whatever gap we'd bridged between us, I also didn't want to do it at the same time. I didn't want to be the only person fighting for us -whatever us even was.

I wouldn't go running back to him.

So I kept working, and I kept living my life, as if there wasn't a part of me that was hollow. My friends noticed, that I was sure of. I didn't miss the questioning glances that sparked between Harry and Ron whenever I wanted to spend more time with them, instead of being holed up in my apartment of Draco was there.

They didn't question it, that I was glad of.

Ginny was the one who brought up the question. The question of whether I was seeing someone. She said it quietly, and with a meaningful glint in her warm eyes. I told her no; no, I wasn't seeing someone.

She suggested I went on a double date with her and Harry, and another bloke from her quidditch team. You'll like him, Ginny said. I wasn't exactly sure, considering I heard enough of quidditch from people already in my life.

I pretended that it wasn't because I had another former seeker on my mind. And I didn't mean Harry.

I put the idea off for several days, until it came to the point where the silence in my flat became so unbearable that I had to dig out old records that belonged to my dad, and play them on a never ending loop.

Perhaps it would be good for me to get out. There wasn't anything keeping me from seeking out another man, except my owl delusions. I was twenty-two years old, and I was supposed to have my whole life ahead of me as everybody said.

Right. That was why I was working at Flourish and Blotts instead of doing great things with my life, like I'd imagined. I think it was the realization that I could do more, that I deserved more that made me ring up Ginny, and accept her offer.

She sounded pleasantly surprised. She told me that she was so glad I'd accepted, and that his name was Jeremiah, and that he was handsome. Quiet, she said. A bit shy.

I listened to her go on about the boy I was going to be seeing while in my head, I was replaying late night drinks and half-conversations with another boy entirely.

Ugh. I've finally updated. Really hope this chapter was to your liking, although I'm not too sure about it. Oh well. Leave a thought?