When Justin stepped out of Woody's, he realized that he had no idea where he wanted to walk to. The thought of Daphne's warm couch was comforting, but the thought of Chad sitting on said warm couch, jamming away was quite off-putting.

Justin figured that he would walk around for a bit, and then maybe go to the diner. Debbie was sure to offer him something to eat, and by the time he then got home, he was sure that even Chad would have gone to sleep.

He was really impressed by what Brian had done. Having a child was a big fucking deal, even if it included having three parents. It was daunting and scary and life-altering.

And Brian had decided that he was going to do it. Brian was taking the plunge, taking a step into a scary, unknown, undoubtedly chaotic future.

Because it's only fear when you let it control you.

And Brian was right. Justin was bored with his life, but too afraid to actually do anything to change it. Because life was easy. Well, easy-ish. Well, not even easy-ish, but it was familiar. And he had gone through so much change that even unhappy stability was still stability.

But it was ridiculous. He couldn't possibly go on like this, having the hots for his boss, having his boyfriend cheat on him, and acting as if none of that mattered or affected him.

Daphne was also right that past kindness was not enough of a reason to be with someone. And Justin had to admit to himself that that was all what was left right now.

Breaking up with Ethan wouldn't mean that his past with Ethan got erased. It wouldn't mean that he didn't appreciate what Ethan had done for him, or what Ethan had meant to him. They could still be friends. It would just mean that it was time to move on. Time to be a man and deal with whatever life had to offer him next.

Even Brian Kinney was afraid. But Brian didn't let that fear control his life; he dealt with it. And if Brian fucking Kinney can decide to be a father, I sure as hell can break up with Ethan.

Justin took out his clunky phone, and swore into the wind as he struggled to get it to work.

When all this drama is over, he thought, I'm going to treat myself and buy a new fucking phone.

"Hello, Ethan? Listen, are you at home? I want to drop by. I want to talk to you."

Justin sat on the ramshackle sofa, while Wolfram mewed piteously.

"Are we…are you…is there any cat food left?"

Ethan shrugged. "Not much. I was going to go out and buy some, but then you called so I had to stay back."

Justin bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from saying anything. It was incredible how Ethan found a way to blame every little thing on Justin. Even when Justin wasn't there.

"So, where are you staying?"

"Ethan, I told you. I'm staying with Daphne."

"Oh. I thought…oh. Well. I didn't realise that there was enough space in Daphne's dorm for one more person."

Justin couldn't believe how they weren't even able to have a proper conversation anymore. We were living together less than a week ago. How did we become this distant in a week? Or had we been like this for a while, and I just didn't notice, Justin wondered.

He cleared his throat. "Ethan, I wanted to come here tonight because -"

"Justin, stop. I know what you want to say. I kind of figured it out. But before you say something you might regret, I want you to hear me out first."

Justin sighed, then shrugged. He supposed that Ethan was finally going to actually explain to him about the other guy. It would waste Justin's time, but he figured that he could let Ethan talk first, seeing as how Justin was going to breakup with him anyway.

"Justin, I don't think this will come as any surprise to you when I say that I'm really disappointed. I thought we had something special. I thought you and I were of the same mind, and we would go on to achieve great things together. As a couple. As a unit. As two people who stood for the same things. But…"

Justin frowned. Ethan was sure taking the long route to explain away a one-night stand. Or two-night. Or whatever the fuck it was.

"…since you joined Vanguard, things changed so much. You changed. You sold out, Justin."

"What? What are you…what?"

"Justin, come on. Working at an ad agency, selling cigarettes and diapers and –"

"I don't sell fucking diapers. Or cigarettes. I cannot believe that you -"

"Justin. Please. You're a corporate drone now. You're not an artist anymore. You're just a paid shill for guys in suits with fancy cars and expensive gadgets. I can't be with someone like that. I need to be with someone who respects his own creativity, someone who can't be bought over for a tiny cubicle and a cheque every two weeks. I can't be with you anymore, Jus. I need to be with someone I can connect with creatively, and respect."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Justin exploded. "Of all the bullshit to tell me…you are breaking up with me? You cheated on me!"

"Justin, if you didn't sell your dignity for money –"

"Sell my dignity? I was working so that we could pay rent! So that we could eat and pay for heating in winter. I can't fucking believe this."

"You could have worked at Starbucks. I told you to work at Starbucks."

"You and your fucking Starbucks! That's not 'selling my dignity' to the corporations?!"

"You wouldn't have compromised yourself as an artist. I tried to tell you, but you never listen."

Oh my fucking god, Justin thought. After all this, I am getting dumped by Ethan because I dared to get a fucking job in my field to pay the goddamn rent. Justin was incredulous. He had worked his ass off, for the both of them to live decently. He had refused Brian's advances multiple times, to stay faithful to Ethan. And now he was getting dumped. Because he was a 'corporate drone'.

The whole situation was so absurd that Justin started laughing.

"What are you laughing at? Jus, what you've done to yourself is tragic. It's not funny at all. Anyway, I'm going to leave now, I have somewhere to be. And I can't watch while you pack…we shared so much…we could have done so much together, really been a power couple…but...you can pack up your stuff and take it to Daphne's. Or wherever. Leave the key in the mailbox."

"You're right, Ethan. What I've done to myself is tragic. Tragically stupid. But don't worry. I'm smartening up, starting right now. Try not to kill Wolfram while you try to 'achieve great things'. And next time you cheat on someone, try not to get caught."

The good thing about wine was that after a couple glasses Justin couldn't tell the difference between the good and the cheap kind, if he ever could have in the first place. So Ethan's stash of cheap store-bought Rosés and few good full-bodied reds started to blur relatively quickly. He didn't finish any of the bottles, but like hell he was leaving without opening and tasting every single one. He got a particularly intense feeling of satisfaction when he popped open the most expensive one, the one he knew that Ethan had been saving for their anniversary and poured it down the drain. It might be spiteful, but hey. He had earned the right to.

In any case, it was his wine dammit. It wouldn't go to whoever Ethan hooked up with next.

It sure made the meager packing he was doing go by much easier. Whatever he hadn't already brought over to Daphne's could fit in a duffle bag he fished out from under Ethan's bed. Their whole relationship could fit into it, if Justin cared to get photos and other trinkets. He didn't. His personal things took even less room, leaving the duffle bag relatively light.

"Isn't that just the most pathetic thing?" he asked Wolfram, while raiding the fridge for whatever artisanal cheeses Ethan had stashed away in it. The cat did not respond.

"Calling me a sellout…" he elaborated, to Wolfram's indifference. His speech was just on this side of slurred by then, but he was concentrating too hard on not doing something stupid - like smashing Ethan's stuff - to notice. "You know what's selling out? Pretending to listen for hours on end of an analysis on Godard, because that's what Ethan's friends are talking about this week. At your birthday party. That's selling out."

He wanted to be able to say that he had been duped and this affair had all been some huge mistake, but now that it was over, he knew that wasn't entirely true. Ethan was talented and attractive and intelligent and romantic. Ethan was also, somewhat regrettably, not right for him. Stalling and wallowing in self-pity while whatever bond they'd shared disintegrated piece by piece, until there was hardly anything left for either of them to recognize was the mistake. He had to suck it up and move on.

"I have a job and a hot boss and I won't listen to Rachmaninoff for at least a year. So I got the better end of that deal."

He gobbled the rest of the cheese down, and grabbing the nearest bottle, made for the door.

"You were cool though, Wolfram. We're ok. We're ok."

Walking to Woody's was no smooth task, when one was drunk and carrying shit and was feeling the urge to do something destructive. But it was closer than Daphne's, and didn't have her loud roommate and Woody's had more alcohol. Nothing sounded more fun than alcohol did at the moment! Plus Brian might be there. Justin caught himself smiling at the thought of seeing him and found he didn't care. Whatever this night might bring, he was ready for.

He did not expect to get carded though. "You must be new." He told the cute bartender staring down at him and the bottle he rescued from Ethan's apartment. "I come here all the time."

He looked around the bar for any sight of Brian, but to no avail. But he did spot Ted a few feet away, trying to talk someone up.

"See, this is my friend Ted. Ted! Hey Ted!" He had a slight suspicion that the man was trying to ignore him, but he did acknowledge him after some more shouting. Ted stalked over to where Justin was, the tips of his ears tinted red. Justin swung an arm around the man's shoulders. "Please tell this person you're my friend and there is no problem with me being here."

"I wouldn't go as far as calling us friends," Ted mumbled, which Justin found frankly rude. "He's with me. It's fine."

Justin lost the plot somewhere at this point, because he was too busy sniffing the back of Ted's neck. He smelled of Head and Shoulder's shampoo and clothing detergent. Justin found it relaxing. Ted didn't seem to appreciate it.

"Hey. Justin. Your Debbie's…? You're Brian's…" Ted tried to find a suitable word, and instead seemed to settle for trailing off into questioning silence.

"I'm not Brian's." Justin replied stubbornly. He gasped, realizing something for the first time. "I'm not anyone's!" It made him want to jump up and down, while at the same time making him a bit nauseous. He elected to blame the wine for that.

"Okaaaay…did you drink this whole bottle?"

"Honestly, I think I probably spilled most of it on the way here." The walk to Woody's had mostly been a blur, and with the way he had been trying to hold both the bottle and the bag with the same hand, it was a miracle any of the wine was still in the bottle. A lot of it had found its way to the front of Justin's shirt, which probably had not helped him make a good case before the bartender.

Ted had him sit on the nearest empty stool and drink water. He looked helplessly back to where he had been sitting before Justin's arrival. The man he had been drinking with had moved on to drinking with some other patron already, and Ted made some snide comment about Brian always finding a way to ruin his dates. Justin stared in wonderment at the realization that Ted not only smelled good, but apparently got dates!

"I think… I'm a little drunk."

"You think?" Ted looked around worried. "Why are you carrying that?"

"I just got dumped!" It seemed so hilarious. "This is all my stuff!" He took the last swig from the bottle. "Isn't that great? I was going to dump him and then nope! Dumped."

"Ok. Ok. Fuck."

Wow. Teds could curse!

"I've got better things to do than babysit you tonight."

"Do you, really, though?"

Ted glared at him.

"Really?"

"Shut up. We're getting you to Brian's"

"You're a lot less fun than Emmet. I think it's important that you know that," he informed Ted as they walked to his car.

"Don't I know it." Ted deadpanned while loading Justin to the backseat. "If you feel the need to vomit," he pointed a finger in Justin's face. "Wait till we get to Brian's."

He felt a strong desire to immediately throw his arm over Brian's shoulder as soon as he saw Brian standing by the heavy door to his loft, barefoot and wearing what Justin would bet were the softest jeans ever. Or better still, hug him.

However, the ride over to Brian's place, and the wind blowing in Justin's face through the open car window had rejuvenated him, and he was able to not do anything stupid like that. It was hard though.

Justin had made some half-assed protests during the ride there; he had even thought of telling Ted to just take him to Debbie's instead, but the booming in his chest upon seeing Brian again confirmed that he had been right in letting Ted drag him here.

Brian for his part didn't put up much of a fight when Ted dropped Justin at his doorstep. He took one look at Justin with his sad bag, and ushered him inside. He even thanked Ted, which the other man obviously had not expected.

"The inside of your home is phenomenal. " Justin found himself finally saying, after having sat down at the island opposite the fried.

"It's an old, reclaimed factory. The outside looks like shit but the inside is amazing." Brian smiled softly, obviously liking the compliment. "What were you expecting?" "A sex dungeon?" Brian sniggered. "Have you eaten anything or are you running on empty?"

"I'm fine. Really, the buzz is starting to wear off." That wasn't exactly true, but Justin was certain that he wasn't as drunk as when he had first landed up at Woody's.

Brian hummed thoughtfully while opening the fridge. "You sure? I have some bacon if you want, though god knows how long that's been there. Eggs and cheese and…"

"No. No cheese. Thanks."

"Plain toast? Some crackers?"

Justin nodded, and was content to watch Brian get to work for a couple minutes, making him toast and tea – the man even had some tea, who knew- and walking around switching off the lights around the loft, and finally locking the door.

Justin watched as Brian slowly stretched his arms at the door…those long arms, the taut chest…

He replayed that image in his mind, mixing it with the memory of the kisses the two of them had shared, with the memory of dancing with Brian at Babylon.

There was no reason to wait anymore…Brian was single, and now, Justin was single too.

Justin pushed himself off the stool, and walked towards Brian. No, he thought, there was no need to wait at all.