(The Santa in the Slush)

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I don't own Bones.

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She hadn't planned on doing it, but really when Dr. Brennan had asked her for a favor, she felt compelled to get something out of it for herself. Caroline was tired of seeing her favorite FBI Agent give his partner cow eyes. She's just my partner. Just my partner my ass, Cher'.

Somehow her puckish side just reared its mischievous head and she'd placed a condition on her help. Kiss Seeley Booth and not just on the cheek either. Oh no, someone needed to prove to those couillon that they were more than just partners and Caroline Julian was just the one to do it.

Of course she didn't trust those two, so she insisted that she be there to see this kiss under the mistletoe and boy did she get more than she'd bargained for.

Booth and his anthropologist partner were in Brennan's office talking about something and Caroline was about to have fun. She entered the room with a spring in her step, waiting for the fun to begin. She had the papers that Brennan needed to allow her criminal family to have a trailer for a small Christmas gathering at the prison and Caroline expected Dr. Brennan to keep her word. Spotting the mistletoe, Caroline felt a sense of satisfaction.

She beamed at the sight of the plant dangling from the ceiling and wanted to get the show on the road. "Mistletoe." The prosecutor pulled Booth under the festive plant and encouraged Brennan to do the same. "You take a step to your right you'll be right under that cute sprig."

As Booth and his partner kissed, Caroline realized that she'd got more than she'd hoped for. That kiss was so hot she almost melted from the heat. Pooyie!

After Brennan released her lip lock on her 'just partner' she'd turned towards Caroline and had asked the Federal Prosecutor if that had been enough steamboats.

Almost breathless and slightly stunned, Caroline had acknowledged that it had been more than enough. A whole flotilla enough. And yet just to prove what couillon those two really were, the anthropologist had had the nerve to tell her that kissing Booth had been like kissing her brother. Pic kee toi! As if.

Caroline had shook her head in disbelief. How could she say that to her? "You sure must like your brother." And of course, Booth had to back his partner up because that's what he does. The Bibitte. "You're good to go, Cher', Merry Christmas."

Unable to keep this to herself, she'd hurried up to the top floor and breezed into Cullen's office. Flopping down on the couch in the office, Caroline sighed deeply. "Cher' you wouldn't believe what I've just seen. Why I'm not covered in scorch marks is beyond me."

Amused, Cullen stepped around his desk and over to the couch. Once he was settled there, he smiled at his favorite prosecutor. "Okay, you're dying to tell me so spill it."

"Well, Dr. Brennan asked me for a favor and I asked for one in return." Caroline waved her hand in front of her chin. "I told her that she had to get her partner to kiss her under some mistletoe."

"Caroline!" Cullen couldn't believe his friend had actually done that. "Tell me you didn't really do that. Those two . . ."

"Oh please!" Caroline wasn't buying the fake outrage. "You and I both know those two are crazy about each other . . . well, Booth is and I just couldn't stand by and do nothing."

Curiously, Cullen leaned back against his couch. "So they kissed . . . are you saying they did it and it was . . . what? . . . hot?"

What an understatement. "Hot doesn't begin to explain what I saw . . . I expected everything in the room to spontaneous combust . . . I haven't seen that kind of kissing since . . . well never mind . . . Cher' if they kiss like that and they're just partners then God help us all if and when those two ever get together because . . . just . . . damn it, why can't they admit that they're made for each other and just do it for God's sake . . . it's so damn frustrating."

Used to Booth and Brennan's state of denial, Cullen just shook his head. "I've told you before that those two are just going to go on and keep doing what they're doing. They're too scared to ruin that friendship they have going and I don't care how much you try to force them together nothing is going to happen until they're ready."

Sniffing, Caroline stared forlornly at her friend. "Which probably means never . . ."

"No, not never." Cullen was just as frustrated as his friend, but he had hope. "I think they will get together someday . . . they just need a catalyst and forcing them to kiss isn't it. It will have to be something big, but how big and what it will be is beyond me . . . don't tell anyone, but I have the paperwork allowing them to work together in a file in my cabinet. The folder is marked IFI."

Curious, Caroline laughed. "What does that mean?"

Amused with his own joke, Cullen chuckled. "It's fucking inevitable."

Caroline threw her head back and laughed until tears leaked from her eyes. "Cher' C'est sa Couillon."

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For those of you who don't speak Cajun French:

Couillon - This Cajun word means stupid, idiot or fool.

Pic kee toi - This is a Cajun swear phrase meaning "fuck you" (intercourse you).

bibitte - This is a Cajun French curse term for male genitalia (dick), in Canada this is not a cuss word and means roaches or insects

pooyie - awesome

C'est sa Couillon - Cajun phrase calling someone a fool "It is a fool".