Tidal Wave

I'm sorry it took me forever to update. But on the plus side I've pretty much got this whole story finished up, so expect regular updates!

Part Ten: At the Wake

The cramp in Alex's neck was making her position uncomfortable. The couch she and Marissa lay on was not meant for sleeping, much less two people. However the fact that Marissa was there with her made things a little more bearable. Even though the brunette was still asleep, Alex felt a calmness that she hadn't felt in awhile. The girl she loved was there with her and in her arms; it felt like all was right in the world at least for now. She didn't know how things would go once Marissa woke up, but she tried to distinguish those thoughts and just enjoy the moment.

Though she didn't want to, her mind brought her back to the conversation she and Marissa had had two weeks prior:

"It's not working anymore…." Marissa's eyes were cast downward; on the cup that sat on the coffee table, the words hadn't seemed too difficult for her to manage. They had just returned to the apartment from the most recent therapy session.
"What do you mean?" Alex questioned, her eyes doubling in size. At the mere sound of Marissa's words Alex's entire face had changed.
"I'm saying that I think we're not right for each other." Marissa's tone was failing her, Alex could read her like a book.
"I don't believe you."
"I think we should take a break, figure out some things." Neither made a move, the only sound came from the dripping sink.
"You don't mean that." Alex responded shaking her head, not believing the conversation at hand.
Summoning all of her courage, Marissa looked up into Alex's eyes, "Look I'm leaving. I'm going to stay with my mom for awhile, take some time to sort everything out."

Alex felt Marissa shift ever so slightly and knew that she would be awake soon; old habits never changed. She tried to savor the feeling of having Marissa in her arms, in case it was the last time she would be there. Closing her eyes Alex breathed in deeply, hoping that things would work out for the best.

"Morning" Marissa mumbled sleepily, looking up into Alex's blue eyes.
"Do you want to get breakfast?" the blond questioned.
"You don't do breakfast" Marissa answered, a skeptical look on her face.
"For you I will make an exception," Alex said with an easy smile, "besides you know I don't ever turn down pancakes."
"If I remember correctly, pancakes are the way to your heart." Alex merely laughed, tightening her hold on Marissa. She was surprised that there was no awkwardness; it was almost as if nothing had changed between them.
"I don't think you have to worry about anyone getting into my heart." At Alex's words Marissa's entire face changed, the slight smile that had been playing at the corner of her lips was gone.

Marissa pushed herself up, breaking Alex's hold on her. She scooted to the other end of the couch while Alex pulled herself up into a sitting position.

"I didn't mean…" Alex trailed off, trying to think of something to say.
"You don't have to explain anything to me."
"I know I don't but I want to."
"I'm not judging you for it or wondering why you did it. I understand why you did it, I just don't agree with it. I guess I just don't want to accept that you did those things." The brunette sighed.
"So you heard everything I said last night?"
"Pretty much." Marissa stated simply, there was no anger in her voice, just sadness.
"I…I want to be with you. I don't want to be with-"
"Don't say it Alex, please don't do this right now."
"I…" Alex sighed dejectedly, "okay."
"I don't know if I'll ever be able to be okay with what you did…When I found out I just felt like my world stopped. I was already dealing with so much and then all of that just got added onto it and….it was hard. I wasn't ready to hear something like that…I never thought you'd do that to me."
"Marissa, I'm not asking you to be okay with it, or to forgive me. I mean what I did was inexcusable. I want to make things right with you, there's no one else I want to be with." Alex admitted, she regretted every one of her one night stands. Not just because it was a stupid thing to do but because it only brought her and Marissa further apart.

The two sat quietly at opposite ends of the couch. They both snuck glances at each other but neither knew what to say or how to act. The whole situation did nothing but add to their already strained relationship.

"I think I'm going to go." Marissa murmured breaking the silence.
"When am I going to see you again?" Alex wondered aloud, following Marissa's lead and standing as well.
"I have a therapy session tomorrow-"
"I have to work…" Alex's voice trailed off, "you know that if I could go I would."
The brunette nodded at Alex's words making her way towards the door, "I guess I'll just see you when I see you."