"Pssh, You're welcome," grumbled a sarcastic voice behind me.
I turned, suddenly realizing that maybe I should be a little curious about who just pulled my sorry butt out of an exploding car. I jumped back three feet when I saw who it was. Well, really, more like what it was.
Facing me was an 8 foot 4 hobo with an easy going looking 4 o'clock shadow and a fake leg. "Who are you?" I asked, tightening my grip around the small key ring.
The man looked hurt. "Phoebe, don't you see the family resemblance?"
I was about to say, "Nope," and run for my life, but something stopped me. His raven black hair and innocent calf-brown eyes made me furrow my brow and be glad that this wasn't one of the Cash Cab questions. "Umm… Hera is… related to you…?"
"Like… My mom?" he said, pushing his greasy black hair out of his eyes.
I heaved a heavy sigh. "You gods just keep on coming one after another." I pressed my palm to my forehead. "Hephaestus?"
The hobo laughed like Santa Clause. "Now you're catching on."
Then I remembered something that made me inwardly slap my ADHD for getting off-topic. "We gotta find Tabbatha," I said, looking around the junkyard.
I saw our car, which looked as if it had been flipped over on its journey here. "Ooh, crap," I muttered, staring at our only source of transportation.
Then I thought about Tabbatha again, and pushed the car to the back of my mind. I looked around the rest of the yard. Parts of the Cash Cab were scattered all over the place. "Hephaestus, where could she be?"
"Probably under some of these parts," he said, lifting a muffler off the ground. The second he picked it up, the rust melted off of it and it looked brand-new.
"Which parts?" I asked, running over and picking up a heavy hunk of metal. No Tabbatha.
"That's a question for Athena," he said, pushing aside a row of tires.
I maneuvered past a hunk of rust that cavemen probably used to drive and saw the entire roof of the cash cab. I had trouble believing that the whole thing had blown off in one piece, but here it was.
"Marco," I called, climbing onto the roof.
"Polo," coughed a faint voice somewhere near.
A fire of newfound strength burned within me. "Marco," I called, a little louder. Hephaestus looked at me like I was crazy.
"Polo!" coughed the voice again. It cracked.
"Marco!" I shouted, pacing up and down the roof like I was trying to get better reception.
"Polo!" Shouted the voice, sounding annoyed this time.
"MARCO!!" I called, jumping up and down.
"I'm right here, you idiot!" shouted Tabbatha's voice from the roof beneath me. A fist knocked on it from the other side.
By now, Hephaestus was by my side. "Come on," he said, grabbing hold of the roof. I grabbed the other side to try to help, but he didn't need it. Heck, this guy could've one an arm wrestling match with Bigfoot.
Tabbatha looked terrible. There was a cut on her forehead that was dangerously close to her eye, her blonde hair was streaked with blood, her legs showed more blood than they did skin, and she looked like she was going to puke on top of everything else, but she still had that same proud, Tabbatha expression. She gave me a look that asked, "Who's the hobo?"
"Hephaestus," I mouthed while he was brushing iron scraps out of Tabbatha's hair.
"You okay, kid?" he asked, clearing the area. I guess Hephaestus was a pretty protective big brother, but, then again, he had never had a little sister before. It made me wonder why he was doing all of this for me. I mean, we were just related.
Tabbatha blinked a few times. "Yes, sir," she said.
"Then will you be able to handle the news?" he asked, sitting back on his heels.
"What news?" asked Tabbatha, trying to prop on her elbows, but, after many failed attempts, giving up and laying back onto the dirt and metal.
Hephaestus looked down and cleared his throat, stalling time. "Your, umm… your car is totaled."
Tabbatha seemed not to register that at first. Her expression went blank and she didn't move… for a few seconds. Then she screamed and flashed up to a standing position. She only fell on her knees once as she ran towards her car.
"Nothing gets a girl up like her car getting crushed," I said to Hephaestus, watching her run.
Hephaestus nodded, and we jogged after her. We found her kneeling by her car with her palms on the handle. "He was a good fellow," she said. "He was kind and true, and loyal to his owner.
"Tabbatha," I said, rolling my eyes. "I think you put a little too much drama in your cereal this morning.
"Shh," said Tabbatha, holding up one of her cut fingers. "I'm mourning for the loss of my car."
Hephaestus crossed his arms. "Hi," he said, waving his hand. "I'm Hephaestus, the god of metalworking and such."
Tabbatha, not picking up Hephaestus's emphasis on metalworking, nodded in his direction, than turned back to her car. "WHY MUST THE GOOD DIE YOUNG!?"
I took a deep breath and picked up a long pole, getting ready to ram Tabbatha for being so stupid, but Hephaestus stopped me. "I can fix your car," he offered, putting it right out there for her.
She looked at him, her evil Hermes eyes looking big and innocent. "Really?"
"Yeah…" said Hephaestus slowly. He trotted to the front of the car, looking confident. It was pretty obvious that this was his home turf. He looked under the hood. "Your rudder is shot and you need a new muffler." (A/N: Tabbatha- We have no idea what that means, but it sounds good, right? Phoebe- We don't exactly know how a car works, so please, don't flame us if you're some kinda car genius.)
Tabbatha and I stared at him. He sighed. "I'll have it done in about two hours."
Tabbatha and I nodded. "Thanks, Hephaestus," I said, giving him an awkward hug.
Hephaestus chuckled like Santa Clause. "It's nothing, really, sis. It's just my job."
I smiled, and walked back to Tabbatha while Hephaestus went off to collect parts. I sat down next to her and we were silent or a moment. Then she attacked me with a bear hug.
"I was so worried about you," she said, hugging me tighter.
"Tabbatha," I said, squirming. "My internal organs need to stay in place, thank you very much."
Tabbatha grinned. "How'd you kill that thing?" she asked, pulling back and grabbing my wrists.
"Sword," I said briefly, trying to brush away that topic. "How'd you avoid the explosion?"
"Running in circles and screaming," she said, smiling.
I smiled, but barely. I was really tired. "Three things that have tried to kill us on the first day," I said, resting my head on Tabbatha's shoulder.
Tabbatha nodded, laying back in the dirt. I followed her, , resting my head on a delightfully soft pile of mud. I watched the sun sink below the horizon and the moon rising, followed by all of the stars.
"First day of this quest is completed," I noted.
Tabbatha didn't respond. I turned my head to find her sleeping. Slowly, I closed my eyes, not knowing if we would survive the night. But right now, that didn't matter to me. Not as long as Tabbatha and I were in this together. Nothing would ever keep us apart.
But I knew, then and there, that that was too big of a promise for anyone to keep. Especially me.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXPhoebe- And so the lesson in this chapter was…
Tabbatha- Never trust a hobo with your wallet?
Phoebe- No… Was it?
Tabbatha- Yeah, after you fell asleep, I had gotten up to… umm… anyway, Hephaestus asked to borrow 20 bucks.
Phoebe- And…?
Tabbatha- And I asked if he had change for a 50, and he said "Nope," and took it. True story.
Phoebe- Right… well, anyway, thanks for reading.
Tabbatha- We really appreciate.
Phoebe- All reviews will find their very own Porsche in their stocking this Christmas.
Tabbatha- True Story.
Phoebe- And if you don't review, you will find a book under your tree called "The History of Boring Things"
Tabbatha- Written by Miley Cyrus
Phoebe- So do what you must to save your holiday season. (Stares at Camera until image fades.)