This was fast… Closing in on the finish line… Not long now…

Of course CC owns the characters… We all know this by now

Chapter 9

Jpov

I knew what a huge mistake I´d made the second the words left my mouth.

The following days were the worst I´d ever experienced, even worse than when C said Jordan's name, after our night together.

She was slowly pulling away from me, she tried to act normal during daytime, but it was obvious that something was wrong.

She talked, laughed and did everything the same as always, but her heart wasn´t in it. The fire that made her C was gone.

I tried to pick a fight with her, just to get a reaction, any reaction. But…nothing.

The only time I got through to her was in the bedroom. There she responded to every touch, every kiss.

I could feel that I was losing her, and that scared me more than anything ever had.

A part of me badly wanted to take everything back. To tell her that I didn´t mean it. But I couldn´t. I did mean it. Always had.

New Year's Eve came and went. We went to a party, of course, but it was all a blur to me. I´m sure we had fun, but I couldn´t remember anything at all.

Everything seemed to get worse on the beginning of the new year.

We still talked, but as soon as our conversations even came close to talks of the future – hell, even planning out the upcoming weekend – she would kiss me and we ended up in bed.

I tried to resist her, I really did. But I´d been in love with her longer than I´d been alive, how was I supposed to say no to her.

Everything came to a culmination the first Friday in February.

C wanted to go out with Izzy, just the girls. And even though I wasn´t happy about it, what could I do? I wanted desperately for her to get back to her old self, so I let her do anything she wanted.

About an hour after she left I got a text from Izzy.

**{Come to Pandemonium! Now! I}**

Izzy met me at the door when I arrived to the club. She looked worried and, I swear, she was even biting her nails.

"What´s wrong, Iz?" I asked, even more anxious now after seeing the expression on her face. "Something happened? Is it C?"

She looked down at the tip of her boots. "What´s going on with the two of you?" she asked, without answering my questions. "I thought you were going strong, but Clary´s not acting like she has a boyfriend tonight."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, a chill running down my spine.

She let her shoulder drop in defeat. "Come, see for yourself."

Nothing had prepared me for what I found.

She was on the dance floor, surrounded by three guys. They were dancing, or more like grinding against each other. Hell, in my mind it looked like they were about to engage in an orgy, right then and there. They had there filthy hands all over her, and she looked like she was enjoying their attention.

I didn´t thing, hell I couldn´t think, I just walked over to them and pulled C away from their groping fingers.

"Hey," one of the guys complained, "she´s with us. Get your own girl."

"She is my girl," I snapped.

The guy started backing away, "Sorry, dude, we didn´t know."

Ignoring her protest I threw her over my shoulder and walked out of there. I didn´t stop until we reached the alley behind the club. I put her down but placed my hands firmly on her shoulders.

"Why?" All the pain and confusion I had felt these last month was in that single word.

She just shook her head, refusing to look at me.

"Fuck, C! Just talk to me!" I scream at her, unable to control myself.

She looked at me then, and for the first time in two month there were actual feelings in her eyes. The sorrow in them broke my heart.

A single teardrop slid down her pale face. "I couldn´t… I can´t be what you want me to be, Jace."

My heart stopped, or it felt like it did. This was it, everything I´d feared since Christmas was happening.

"What´s that supposed to mean?" my voice was thick with feelings.

She looked down on the ground again. "I…"

"C, tell me," I begged her. I knew that I sounded like a loser, but I couldn´t help it. "Tell me what I did wrong?"

"You told me you love me," her voice was barely a whisper, but I heard every word.

I felt like I got punched in the chest. The pain was making my knees wobble and I was afraid that I would fall down.

"I tell you that I love you and you go and throw yourself at other guys?" the pain slowly gave way to anger. "How could you do that to me? To us?"

Anger sparked in her green eyes. "You knew how I felt. You knew that I didn´t want love."

"Yeah, I guess I forgot," I turned around and started walking away from her. I was done, I couldn´t take this anymore. If I stayed and tried to convince her I would only end up worse than I was now.

"I knew you lied," she screamed after me. "I knew you didn´t love me. If you did you would stay and fight. Love makes people liars."

"Keep telling yourself that, C," I kept walking, out of her life…

How much do you hate me now?