Chapter 10

Severus awoke to a mouthful of hair and shifted his head, trying not to cough or choke on it. He patted Eve's curls down and rested his head back on the pillow. She was still deeply asleep, which was definitely a few steps up from distraught. Severus looked down at the little girl in his arms, uncomfortable and still unsure of what to do. She might regret turning to him for comfort once she woke up. He silently debated whether or not to get out and leave her to wake up by herself. But then, that might upset her too.

He stayed where he was and waited for her to wake up. After all, she hadn't seemed regretful the last time he had comforted her while she was upset.

It must have been about another twenty minutes before she woke up, her eyes hazy and sleep fogged. He just watched her, wondering if she was going to instantly break down. He hoped not. He felt a bit like a bloody deer caught in headlights as she stared at him. Which made him want to scowl because he should have that affect on others. However, he did manage to resist scowling at her, he wouldn't want to scare her and cause her to break down anyway. Was he supposed to say something?

"I used to sleep with mum all the time," she told him softly, and he couldn't help but wonder why she felt the need to say that. "We'd stay in bed and watch the Saturday morning cartoons on the weekend."

He wasn't sure what to say to that. "I don't have a T.V in this house."

He winced at how inadequate that sounded, and it might have been the wrong thing to say because she removed herself from the bed.

"Eve..."

She ignored him and left the room, she didn't seem angry and of course she was going to be sad. Surely he hadn't just made it worse with that inane sentence. He got up to follow her but she locked herself in the bathroom. He sighed and returned to his own room to get dressed for the day. Once done, he waited outside the bathroom door again.

"Evangeline, what do you want for breakfast?"

"I'm not hungry," came her muffled reply.

He wished she would at least get out of the bathroom because he really needed to use the bloody loo. Going downstairs, he made breakfast anyway, hoping to get her to stomach a few bites at least. He would not be accused of neglect.

When Eve finally came down he took that opportunity to use the bathroom, it wasn't entirely out of the realm of possibility for her to lock herself in there again at some point. When he returned, the silence in the kitchen was heavy and awkward. And it didn't look like she had eaten anything of her breakfast. He felt like he should be able to say something, or do something to make her feel better, though logically he knew there was nothing. She had just lost her mother.

Both heard the floo activate and poked their heads out to see Potter appear, eyes red rimmed. He saw Eve and both just ran to each other, Eve bursting into tears, Potter even appeared to shed a few.

"I'm sorry Eve," Harry whispered, dropping to his knees and enfolding her in his arms tightly as he started to rock her.

Severus felt a pang of anger shoot right through him, anger at Potter, and anger at himself for being so inadequate. He turned back to the kitchen to clean up, not wanting to watch this any more.

xXx

Harry had been able to take a few days off to organize the funeral, unfortunately, because of his absence, Sirius couldn't return, someone needed to hold the fort over there. Eve fell asleep, having cried herself out and Harry picked her up, carrying her up to the room that had to have been hers - because if all the purple, blue and unicorn furnishings belonged to Snape that was just disturbing on so many levels - and put her to bed.

Once back downstairs, Harry was surprised to see Snape had made him a cup of tea. He accepted it gratefully.

"How's she been?" He asked, his voice cracking.

"As well as one can expect," Snape replied.

Harry sighed. "I'm sorry. I knew this was coming but I hoped there was still more time."

"I may not like you Potter, but I can hardly blame you for this."

Harry shot him a weak and hollow smile. Events beyond his control had hardly stopped Snape from blaming him for things in the past. But then, Harry didn't want to fight, he didn't have the energy for it.

With another sigh he wiped his eyes tiredly. "Before this, how had she been?"

"Good. We have had our moments, but we've worked past them."

Harry's smile held a fraction of the obvious warmth and affection for Eve. "She's a good girl."

Severus nodded his agreement. "I assume you will be taking her to Grimmauld as soon as she wakes."

Harry frowned now. "I hadn't intended on it, I thought she was doing well here."

"She is, but I think she would do better at Grimmauld."

"I'm only going to be here for a few days. There's no point in uplifting her only to return her here."

Harry didn't understand why he was trying to get rid of her.

"He doesn't want me here uncle Harry. He never did." She was well aware this was all just a favour to her uncle.

Both men turned to find Eve standing in the doorway, glaring at Severus. As soon as uncle Harry had put her down, she had felt the loss of his warmth and comfort and woken up, only to hear her father trying to get rid of her.

"I'll pack my things and stay with you at Grimmauld, then you can ship me off to uncle Bill's," she spat with a bitterness both men found surprising. But neither man missed the way her eyes watered as she turned away.

Harry scowled at Snape. "Good on you. She just lost her mum and here you are trying to get rid of her too."

Severus glared at him. He was not trying to get rid of her, he was trying to get her into an environment she would be more comfortable grieving in.

Potter stormed out, but Severus stayed exactly where he was. After about a half hour he heard the floo activate and felt the emptiness of the house. It felt...bereft.

xXx

Days passed, three to be exact, before he saw Eve again, at Hermione's funeral. The Malfoys had offered to attend with him as a show of support but he had declined. He hadn't told them yet that Eve was no longer with him and he feared creating a scene, the day would be difficult enough for everyone. That was also why he had stayed to the back, right on the outskirts where people would pay him little attention.

There was a sea of red heads near the front with the dark heads of Potter and Black, who must have got permission to attend the funeral at least. He could see Potter holding Eve as she curled into his chest.

Severus didn't want to admit it, but he missed her. He missed waking up in the morning and seeing her sitting at the table with his tea made just the way he liked it or to glance up from his reading and find her sitting there absorbed in her own book. They hadn't been together very long, but he had grown attached. He shouldn't have, he knew it was a temporary situation, but he did.

When the funeral had ended, Potter had caught sight of him and passed Eve off to Black before coming to stand before him.

"Snape."

"Potter."

A long silence had followed then.

"She's doing ok still, considering."

Severus nodded. With a sigh the younger man conjured a small vial and pulled some memories from his mind, sealing them within the glass before handing them to Severus. He then disapperated.

And now, he found himself spending that evening downing fire whiskey and contemplating the vial of memories he had yet to view. Should he really bother at all? Whatever was in it, did he really want to see it?

xXx

Eve had spent the last few days sleeping and crying. Harry had spent most of his time by her side, and most of that time had been spent on her bed, hugging her while she cried or reading to her when she was quiet.

But now uncle Harry had to go back to work and today he had to take her to Bill's. She had her things packed and was ready to go.

She missed Severus, and hated herself for it. He didn't want her, it was all just a favour to uncle Harry, maybe a way to get him into his debt. That was depressing. Now she had no parents.

"Ready to go Evey?"

She looked up to see uncle Harry had entered her room while she had been lost in thought. She nodded and followed him out, down to the fireplace. The unpleasantness at the Weasley's dinner had been passed over and she had made up with them and they had been there for her at the funeral and all.

They got to Bill's place and were greeted warmly, though everyone was a bit subdued. Harry couldn't stay and he crouched down in front of Eve, his hands on her shoulders.

"I'm sorry I can't be here for you right now," he told her. "If I could, I would."

"It's ok uncle, at least you came back."

"Of course I came back, and I'll keep on coming back, you'll never have to worry about that at least." He pulled her in for a hug. "You'll probably get sick of me eventually."

When he let her go he watched her head up the stairs with Fluer, who was levitating her suitcase behind them. Harry loved that little girl, with everything in him and just wanted to punch Snape for what he said. He may not have meant it to hurt, but to a little kid... and one who was already emotionally unstable.

"How's she been?" Bill asked.

"Absolutely gutted," Harry replied.

Bill nodded, of course she was, stupid question really. There was just something about death that made anything and everything one can say, completely inadequate.

"And how are you doing?"

"Absolutely gutted."

"Maybe you should get reassigned, it can't be easy working right now."

"No," he replied. "I can't. It would be months of work lost if I did that. I'm not even sure they'd let me anyway."

Bill just nodded, there didn't seem much point in pushing it. "We'll take good care of her. Have you given much thought to where she's going to attend school when it starts back up?"

Harry shook his head. Now that Bill mentioned it, he would like for Eve to start somewhere else, he didn't like that she got picked on the way she did. Maybe a wizard school would be better, if everyone knew she was his niece, they would be less likely to do anything against her, his name still carried a lot of weight.

"Fluer and I will organize what we can and you can sign off on it or make changes when you get back."

"Thanks Bill, actually, if you could get me more information on the same school Teddy goes to, that would be great."

Bill nodded again as Harry headed for the floo. "Bye Harry. You know where we are if you need anything."

"Thanks, I'll see you later."

xXx

Eve sat on her bed while aunt Fluer unpacked everything and put it away. She was going to be sharing a room with Victoire and Dominique would bunk with Louis for now. Aunt Fluer and Victoire were nattering on about inane girly things that Eve wasn't really in the right head space to appreciate. Not that she was really one for those kinds of conversations anyway. She knew they were just doing it to try and take her mind off things, but it wasn't really working and they were easy enough to tune out.

At least her conversations with Severus had been interesting and she usually always walked away from one having learned something new. Aunt Fluer and Victoire finally left her alone for which she was grateful. Lying back on her bed, she opened the locket, staring at the faces of her family. She wondered what it would have been like growing up with her mum and dad together. Would Severus have loved her then? Was there some vital part of being a parent that they had missed and so he couldn't love her like a dad was supposed to love his kid? She closed the locket with a sigh and tucked it into her shirt, curling up on her side. She had uncle Harry and uncle Sirius, most of the Weasley's, the Lupins, she shouldn't be so sad. It was just one man. She managed the first eight years of her life without him, she could keep going without him just as well as before.

Still, why didn't he want her?

xXx

Severus had decided to join the Malfoy's for dinner, he hadn't seen them since Hermione's death, they had given him space to grieve with his daughter. He hadn't told them she had gone to the Weasley's.

When he arrived through the floo, Narcissa looked around him.

"Where is Evangeline Severus?"

"I believe she is staying with Bill Weasley and his family until Potter returns," he replied, dusting the soot from his shoulder with a practised nonchalance.

Narcissa only frowned as they headed into the parlour.

"What happened?" She asked.

"Nothing happened."

"Why is she with the Weasley's and not you?"

"I felt she would be better off there."

"Severus-"

"Narcissa," he cut her off. "I did not come here for a critiquing of my actions. If that is where this evening is heading-"

"Severus sit," Lucius told him as he entered the room with Draco. "That is not where it is going. No more will be spoken on the subject."

He shot his wife a warning look, she didn't appear too pleased about it but she said nothing further. They moved on to the relatively safe topic of Lucius' business dealings.

When Severus got home that night, he dropped into his chair and stared at the empty one across from him. He hadn't gotten rid of it yet and wasn't sure he wanted to. He pulled back the cuff of his shirt and looked down at the bracelet she had made him. Childish and a little girly, but he still couldn't bring himself to take it off.

He wondered if he should write her a letter, apologize and explain his motivations for sending her away. No, it probably wouldn't work. If she was anything like her mother, and the time spent with her had proven there was a great deal of Hermione in her, then she would probably want a heartfelt face to face apology. But would she forgive him?

He sighed and headed down to his lab to brew his irritation away. Sitting on his desk sat the vial of memories Potter had left him. He still hadn't watched them yet. Before he could think further on his actions he took the vial and poured it into his penseive. Whatever Potter had wanted to show him, it had better be important, and worth the days he'd spent dreading watching them.

He found himself in what must have been her room at Grimmauld Place, she was lying beside Potter as he was sitting against the headboard of her bed, his arm around her shoulders. They both appeared to have been crying.

"Uncle Harry?"

"Yeah?"

He held her tighter, resting his chin on her head.

"Did mum...know...?"

"Know what?"

"That...Severus wouldn't want me. Is that why she never told him about me?"

Her voice was barely above a whisper and so filled with heart ache the guilt just ripped right through him.

"I don't think Professor Snape doesn't want you exactly, I just don't think he knows how to deal with you," Potter told her eventually.

"Don't stick up for him."

"I'm not. Whatever his intentions were, it was a dumb move. I just don't want you to think he doesn't want you, there's no reason he wouldn't want you. You're very lovable."

"Not lovable enough." She released a shuddering sigh. "I want my mum."

Potter continued to hold her, rubbing his hand up and down her back soothingly. The memory ended there and Severus was once again in his lab.

So Potter was attempting to make him feel guilty? It was bloody well working. Yes, he wanted Eve. But he was no good for her, he was hardly a paragon of fatherly love. And his role models were poor, his own father a violent, gambling drunk. Dumbledore, kind yet ruthlessly manipulative when it came to what he termed 'the greater good.' He had watched Lucius with Draco often enough he supposed, but Severus didn't think he had it in him to behave the way Lucius had with his own young son. And raising a boy was completely different to raising a girl. Girl's were just different he was sure, he would have an easier time nailing water to a tree than trying to understand the female mind, no matter what age they were. But he did like Eve, it was only now that she was gone that he felt the connection to her, or had come to realise it was there at all.

He would go and see her tomorrow.

xXx

A/N: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. :)