I cannot believe this is the 10th chapter! holy shit.
Thank you much for sticking with this, you guys are beyond amazing.
I'm so so so happy that you are all still enjoying this!

Let me know what you think of this one!
I had it written and was gonna wait until thursday but why not post it now?

Let me know what you think otherwise I don't know whether to continue or not!

lyrics: where i stood - missy higgins

See I thought love was black and white
That it was wrong or it was right
But you ain't leaving without a fight
And I think I am just as torn inside

.

Olivia's stomach dropped to her feet. She felt Brian's hand, hidden by the door from Elliot's view come round to gently grasp her hip, squeezing lightly, his way of telling her everything was going to be okay, although she knew it wasn't. The rage in Elliot's eyes was undeniable. He stood tall, his chest puffed out, his knuckles white as he gripped the brown manila folder tight in his hands, his eyes trained on her.

"Elliot…" Her voice was quiet as she stood behind Brian.

"Cassidy...?" Elliot questioned her, pretending Brian was even standing there. "Really Liv? Out of everyone in the city you shack up with Brian Cassidy?"

"It's not…"

"Oh please don't tell me 'it's not what you think'" He scoffed. "Seriously, I'm not that fucking stupid." He growled at her, his voice a loud echo in the secluded hallway.

They stood in silence, the tension so thick they could choke to death. Brian stepped back, his hand gently guiding Olivia back into the apartment, motioning for Elliot to come in and talk, not wanting to risk any neighbours walking out and witnessing the commotion.

"How long have you two been at it?" Elliot asked, pacing a little.

"El…"

"Don't you dare lie to me" He growled, getting a little too close to Olivia.

"Hey." Brian stepped in, pushing his arm between the two of them. He watched as Olivia stepped back and sat on the window ledge, one hand on her stomach the other running through her hair, coming to rest over her lips.

"I'm sorry El. I am, I didn't want you to find out like this." She sat taking deep breaths, trying to curb the morning sickness, there was nothing like some heavy tension and an angry ex coming face to face with your baby daddy to bring on the nausea.

"Find out what? That my girlfriend is fucking my partner?"

"Elliot, take it easy man." Brian tried to diffuse the situation, take some of the heat off Olivia and give her a moment to collect herself.

"Don't you dare even come into this" Elliot raged "How the fuck could you do this? You knew we were having problems man. What did you just casually walk up to her and promise her the world? Try and take her from me? Poison her against me"

"She's not property Elliot." Brian scolded "I didn't steal your fucking house. And she has a mind of her own you know, she is grown woman who is capable of making her own decisions."

"No! You stole my girlfriend!"

"He didn't steal me Elliot! God! We're not in the 9th grade!" Olivia yelled at him, sick of him talking about her like he had some sort of ownership.

"So what happened? You got bored and thought hmm, this guy's paying some attention, let's take him home and fuck him behind Elliot's back!" Elliot threw the folder on the floor, his voice angry as vile words spewed from his lips.

"No"

"So it was you" He turned to Brian "I knew you were spending a little too much time on that case, spending a little too much time working with the SVU team, when in reality you were using that time to bed my girlfriend."

"You know what?" Brian got in Elliot's face "It is my fault."

Olivia screwed her face at Brian's admission, it wasn't his fault. She was the one who continued to pester him, she was the one who wanted to continue seeing him being Elliot's back. It was her who instigated all of their meetings and sexual liaisons. In the long run Brian wasn't the one in the wrong. He was the single one, trying to get her to confront her emotions, to be honest with herself and trying to let her figure out what she wanted. Yet here he was, once more, making himself look like the bad guy, saving her from taking the verbal beating from her raging ex.

Brian held his hands up "I had no idea she was your girlfriend until you introduced us in the squad room, and yeah, I didn't think it would go anywhere, pretty sure she didn't either, but it did. There's nothing you can do about it now."

"So what? She was just a quick fuck when you needed it?" Elliot questioned, glaring over at Olivia "Are you hearing this?" He asked her "He doesn't even give a shit about you."

Brian stood back from Elliot, making eye contact with Olivia, shaking his head faintly, letting her know that it wasn't true. He did care about her; he fucking loved her for god's sake.

"Elliot, you don't understand."

"Explain away." He held his arms open, inviting her to give her side of the story.

She glanced over at Brian "Can you give us a minute?" She asked, her voice quiet

He nodded "Sure." He walked to her, placing a soft hand on her hip "Take it easy" He whispered as he pressed his lips to her forehead before walking off to the bedroom.

.

"What happened, Liv?" Elliot's voice quietened "I thought we were good?"

"We're completely different people Elliot." She stood up and walked towards him "I'm not who I used to be. I changed after Oregon. Everything changed." She admitted "I thought I was in-love with you. And then I left and came back and it turns out I wasn't." She watched his eyes dull, pulling her hand back when he reached for it.

"I thought we loved each other."

"We did, I guess, just at different times."

"You cheated on me." His voice rose a little in anger as he spoke.

"Yes." She admitted quietly.

"I still love you. We can work this out." He pleaded "We can move forward from this"

"No, El." Olivia groaned "I broke up with you for a reason. I wasn't happy."

"And now you are?" He scoffed "With Brian?"

"Yeah, I am." She smiled "I don't need your permission to be happy, Elliot."

"Brian Cassidy? You seriously think it's gonna last?" Elliot laughed "You know he's gonna fuck about with you for a while until he gets bored and then he'll go and find something younger and hotter and then you'll be thrown like trash to the curb."

Brian sat on the bedroom floor, his back against the door, listening to every word that was said. He knew Elliot could be manipulative, he had seen it before at work, with perps, with the captain, the rest of the squad; hell he had even seen it with Olivia. He sat with his hands on his lap, hoping that Olivia wasn't being fooled by his words, that she wasn't believing anything that he was saying. There was no way he could get bored of her; even without the baby coming he knew he wanted to be with her for the rest of his life, the baby was just a perfect added bonus. It terrified him to the bone to think of forever, it was a bloody long time but Brian knew he would give anything to keep her in his life.

"Elliot, stop this." Olivia pleaded. "You can talk shit about this all you want, I'm not listening. I know I had an affair, yes it was wrong but I don't regret it. I regret that you found out like this but I don't regret it happening and I'm sorry if this is too harsh but it needs to be said."

"You're gonna regret this Liv." He told her "Staying with him. It's gonna cause you nothing but heartache. I know what he's like."

"No you don't."

"Yeah, I do." He laughed "I've heard what all the guys have said, about how he's a player, doesn't give a shit about anyone or anything but himself. He's gonna be the exact same with you, he'll get bored and leave, I can guarantee it."

"Are you done now?" Olivia sighed, her head was spinning. She gently rubbed her hand across her stomach trying to calm the nausea that was hitting her with a full unforgiving force.

"I can't believe you Olivia." He shook his head "Are you seriously being like this? What happened to you? To us?"

"God Elliot, the world doesn't revolve around you!" She shouted, her rage pelting him like rocks "I am sorry. Really, I am. But I don't want to be with you anymore. I broke up with you weeks ago, I am happy and you should find someone who makes you happy too. You deserve it Elliot, you deserve to be happy but I can't be that person, I'm sorry." She explained, she felt her emotions getting the better of her as the tears filled her dark, tired eyes.

"I don't believe you" He said quietly. "I can see it in your eyes."

"I mean it Elliot. I do."

"You wouldn't be this upset about it if you meant it." He stepped closer to her, taking her hands in his.

They stood in silence, Olivia felt her heart racing as she opened her mouth to speak, she had no choice but to tell him, he might as well find out now.

"I'm pregnant, Elliot."

Brian felt his heart stop. He stood up quickly, prepared to burst out the door in a flash but stopped and pulled his hand back from the handle when he heard laughter.

Elliot burst out laughing, his hand over his stomach as he tried to control his full blown belly laugh "You're pregnant?" He quietened down significantly when she nodded.

"Nine weeks."

"Let me guess? Brian's the father?"

"Yeah" Olivia couldn't help but smile "I am sorry for all of this Elliot, but at the same time I'm not. Surely you can understand that."

"Sure" He nodded. He knew she wanted to be a mom; it was the one thing missing from her life, as angry as he was, and he couldn't help but be a tiny bit happy that she was finally having a child. He was just livid that it wasn't with him.

"How does Cassidy feel?"

"Excited" She smiled "I'm sorry, this is awkward."

"No, it's fine." He insisted "I mean, you're gonna be an amazing mom. Just a shame that kid is half Brian" He laughed.

"I knew it." She shook her head and turned her gaze to the floor.

"I mean seriously Liv, you really think he's gonna stick around for a kid?" He asked "He'll be here until the kid arrives and then bolt."

"Shut up Elliot. You don't know the first thing about us."

"I know you and that baby would be better off with me" He shrugged. "I could give you guys everything, I've had kids, I know how to deal with them, I know what they need…"

"Get out." Olivia scolded; she marched over to the door and pulled it back hard "Get out." She repeated.

"You're gonna regret this…"

She slammed the door in his face, tears falling from her eyes. She covered her mouth with her hands, trying hard not to sob loud enough for Brian to hear. She stood with her back to the door for a few minutes, composing herself before cautiously walking to the bedroom.

.

"Hi"

Brian looked up from the floor; he now sat with his back against the foot of the bed. "Hey"

"Thanks for letting me do that. I didn't want to bail you out of jail for killing him" Olivia said, grinning as she reached down and ran a hand through his hair. She sat herself down in his lap, her fingers drawing shapes on his chin and neck.

He chuckled and wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her closer to his body. "That's okay."

"Did you hear everything?"

"Pretty much" He nodded as his eyes drifted towards her stomach

"Liv…"

"Bri…"

They both started, she smiled and nodded at him to continue. "Go on…"

"I don't want you to settle" He said quietly. "I don't want you to go back to Elliot." He put his fingers to her lips when she tried to interrupt him "But he's right."

Olivia shrunk back slightly, her eyes filled with tears and confusion.

"I'm not leaving you. I love you so much babe, I've said it before." He prompted "Nothing could make me give you up" He smiled at her "But if you weren't happy I'd let you go in a heartbeat, the thought of you being unhappy and feeling stuck makes me sick. I don't want you settling with me just because you're pregnant. I want you to be happy, that is all I want but Elliot was right." He touched her stomach softly through the shirt she wore "I know nothing about kids" He whispered "Absolutely nothing. I don't wanna risk this kid's happiness you know?" He felt his own emotions getting the better of him. "I'm terrified. I know we just found out and it'll sink in and all of that but my god, what if I turn out exactly like Elliot says. What if I turn out like my own father? I have all of these fears that have just turned up and I don't know what to do with them."

"Listen to me." Olivia scolded, wiping the tears from her eyes. "You are going to be an amazing father. You are an amazing boyfriend" She grinned "You have been so kind and patient with me, I have treated you like shit for months and you're still here." She smiled through the tears "You didn't deserve to be second best, you are worth so much more than that. I am so sorry for all of that." She kissed his lips softly, mumbling against his mouth.

Brian brought his left hand up to cup her face "I just want the best for you, and the baby." He traced her bottom lip with his thumb "I know there is someone out there who could take care of you both a lot better than I could. I'm terrified you're going to find him" He laughed.

"I won't." She shook her head and kissed the rough pad of his thumb "It's you I want. You and this baby are all I need."

"Are you sure?"

"You have to stop doing this, Bri." Olivia groaned and stood up in front of him before marching through to the living room. "I want to be with you. If I didn't I wouldn't be here."

"You stuck with Elliot long enough." He muttered, following her out, regretting his words as soon as he said them. "Sorry, that was uncalled for." He ran his hand through his hair before standing on the opposite side of the kitchen counter from her.

"No, you're right. I get why you are hesitant but I'm not leaving you. I want to be with you, I don't care if the richest man in the world turns up at my door promising me everything…he's not you." She reached over and gripped his hands.

"I want to believe you. I do…"

"I'm hesitant about this too you know; come on, you heard what Elliot said about you being a player and all of that shit. I'm having your baby!" Olivia explained "How do I know you're not going to up and leave me with this child by myself?"

Brian hesitated before opening the door to the closet by the front door. "I hid it in here because this closet is full of crap and you rarely go in here." He laughed before rummaging around with the household cleaners, vacuum, old jackets, boxes of stuff that were never looked at anymore. He stepped back out, fiddling with the box in his hand.

"I bought it about two months ago, you can check the receipt." He laughed. As if it were made of glass he set it down on the kitchen counter "I don't know why I bought it so early" He laughed "I erm, I didn't even think you'd stay with me anyway, I thought you'd stay with Elliot because let's face it, he's stable, he knows what he's doing and I don't have a fucking clue. I feel like a bit of an idiot right now."

"Brian…" Olivia couldn't help the tears from falling, her hand clasped around her mouth. She felt her heart pounding in her chest as if trying to break through her rib cage.

"I can take it back, it's okay. We can just pretend you don't know about it" He smiled. "I knew you wouldn't say yes anyway, I don't even know why I bought it really, no one even knows we're together" He chuckled "I always thought you'd wake up one day and realise that being with me was just a waste of time and break it off." He laughed, his emotions getting the better of him as he wiped a stray tear from his face. "I just saw it one day when I was out and thought how amazing it would look on you, you know? How awesome it would be to see you wearing it."

Olivia stood in silence. Brian Cassidy wanted to marry her. Tears fell freely from her eyes; she didn't even try and stop them. Her heart pounded so loud in her chest she could feel it in every inch of her body. Unable to tear her eyes away from Brian, she watched as he stared at the little black velvet box on the counter, his hand going to reach out for it ever so slightly and backing away at the last minute.

"Do you want to….ha, I don't think…do you wanna keep it? I mean, I bought it for you. There's no one else I'd give it to. I could take it back I suppose, they don't have a returns policy on engagement rings do they?" Brian chuckled, trying to make light of the situation. He felt his own heart somewhere around his shoes. The need to vomit just wouldn't leave him alone. He found himself unable to look Olivia in the eyes. He knew she was crying, he could hear it in her breathing and he knew if he took one look at her, she would be in his arms in a second. "I could sell it on I suppose, get some money set aside for the baby?"

"Do you want to marry me?" Olivia whispered, she stepped closer to the counter, the opposite side from Brian, her hands gripping the edge until her knuckles turned white.

"I wouldn't have bought a ring if I didn't, Liv."

"Then why would you take it back, or sell it!?" She felt herself getting angry. Baby hormones meet Olivia Benson. Olivia Benson, baby hormones.

"You don't love me Olivia. Not the way a husband and wife should" he told her, his voice getting quieter with every word spoken.

"How do you know that?"

"Because I see how you look at Elliot. How guilty you feel about it all, how hesitant you've been in your decision to be with me…" He said quietly, his voice defeated. "I guess it all adds up and I just…

"Because I don't love Elliot! I love you! You ass!" She shouted, interrupting his speech.

Brian's head shot up at the stunning revelation that flew from her mouth. He couldn't help but grin "You know that's the first time you've said that?"

Olivia's eyes widened and she shook her head "I…I didn't"

"You can take it back, its fine, I understand" He told her, his grin faded as if it had just been slapped from his face.

"No…Bri, I didn't mean…"

"Liv, I get it, it's okay." He gave her a sincere smile.

"I love you." She told him "God I do, I love you Brian." She took a few quick steps towards him.

He grabbed the box and held it in front of her. "This is how serious I am about you Liv." He reached forward and tucked her hair behind her ear "I'm not going anywhere."

"Is this your idea of a proposal?" She chuckled, trying to reach for the box.

"No." He pulled the box back from her reach. "When I ask you to marry me it's going to be the proposal you deserve, it's going to be romantic and perfect and not when we have no idea what the hell is going on with our relationship…" He laughed and pulled her close. "I love you, Olivia Benson."

"How do I know you even have a ring in there? How do I know you're not lying? That it's just an empty box?" She laughed, reaching for a kiss.

"It's real." He said boldly, he held the box in front of her and opened it sideways, just enough for her to see a glimpse of the band of the ring. He chuckled when she gasped and covered her mouth with both of her hands.

"You actually bought me an engagement ring…" She said, stunned. "I'm in love with you, Brian Cassidy." She mumbled, pressing her lips to his, her hands gripping his shirt. She felt a weight lifted from her shoulders. She had finally admitted to him and to herself that she was in-love with Brian. Elliot knew that they were together and the whole city probably did now as well but it didn't matter. Olivia was finally happy.

"Love you more." He muttered, grinning against her mouth when she moaned deeply into the kiss.

.

Brian lay awake for the majority of the night; Olivia had rolled off of him a few moments ago. She lay on her back, one arm flung above her head, the other still lying across his body. He gazed down to her exposed stomach and gently ran his fingers over the soft, tanned skin.

"Hey baby." He whispered, his arm over her thigh, gently caressing her hip as his face leaned down closer to her stomach.

"I'm your daddy." He grinned "I don't know whether you're my son or daughter yet. I don't mind, you're gonna be amazing either way." He looked up; making sure Olivia was still asleep. "I'm not gonna lie, I'm petrified of being a father. I'm excited, I'm so excited but I'm a little scared. I'm gonna apologise now and let's face it I'll probably apologise every day of your life because I have no idea what I'm doing but I'll pick it up, I'll have your mama helping me out." He gently touched her stomach "You're mama is the greatest woman I've ever met. I love her very much and I'm sure you will too. You have no idea how lucky you are to have her as a mom and how lucky we are to have you as our child. I hit the jackpot with your mom, she's amazing, but you'll find that out soon enough. Just try not to make her too crazy yeah?" Brian pressed his lips against her stomach.

"I love you, kid."

.

Now that Elliot knows, it's only the beginning ;)

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THANKS.
X