A/N: "Loneliness is a state of mind. We make the decision to be lonely and we make the decision to let others keep us from being alone. That choice is difficult, but once made, it is irreversible."

DISCLAIMER: SVU and related characters belong to Dick Wolf. Story, dialogue, narrative and plot belong to TStabler©

Fin sat on the couch, oblivious to what had just transpired on the cushions beneath him, and he shook his head. "Look, man, I know I messed up, but ya gotta hear me out."

Elliot folded his arms. He twisted his mouth and narrowed his eyes, and then gave a curt nod.

"Okay, so you...whatever," Fin began, realizing Elliot wasn't going to talk back. "You know...you know better than anyone...that this job...it can make ya lonely." He looked up at Elliot and said, "It can make the husbands and wives of cops lonely, too, ya know. This job takes up your whole life, you're left with an hour a night with a family that's forgotten what ya look like."

Elliot bit his lip. He hated to admit that Fin had a point. He grunted, as close to speaking as he was going to get.

Fin sighed again, rubbing a hand over his forehead. "I went out, lookin' for...just one night...to be a little less lonely. And I found her, and she...I know you don't wanna hear it, but she never told me you weren't leavin' for good. We saw each other twice a week, and you were never there, so..."

"Wait," Elliot said, his first word, "You did this in my house? In my bed? Are you out of your fucking mind?"

"I just told you...you weren't there!" Fin defended.

"Because when you have the night off, I don't, you jackass!" Elliot yelled back.

Fin flinched. "I guess...I didn't wanna believe that she would..." he paused and heaved another heavy sigh. "By the time I realized you were still married, and actively tryin' to stay that way, I was already in love with her. It's like part of me that was missin' was suddenly there, I felt like I had a reason to get up in the mornin' and someone was finally waitin' for me to come home."

Olivia waited for Elliot to take a breath, knowing what he was going to say, and she grabbed his hand, stopping him. "Let it go," she whispered.

Fin smirked. "Kinda like how you feel about Benson," he said. "You fell apart when she left, and Kathy couldn't keep you together, so what were you tryin' to save, Elliot? You were more lonely when you were with Kathy than you are without her."

"Oh, look at that," Elliot said, smirking, "Time's up. Get out." He walked over to the door and pulled, opening it, hoping Fin would leave.

Fin's eyes widened. "Elliot, come on, I thought..."

"Fin!" Elliot shouted, interrupting. "You slept with my wife! You destroyed my family. You had a reason, and I appreciate you telling me, but whether or not me missing Liv affected my marriage is not the problem. Nothing you can say is gonna make this okay." He let his eyes drop a bit and he asked, "Don't you get that?"

Fin looked sadly at his one-time-friend, and he got off of the couch. "I'm sorry," he said. "That's all I can say. But look at the plus side, you can make a move on Benson now."

"Yeah," Elliot said, "Make a serious move on a woman who just called off a year long engagement because her dick of a fiancée cheated on her. That's a great idea."

Fin sighed, realizing that he couldn't win this one. "Give it time, then get your life back, and get her. You're in love with her Elliot. Everyone saw it, they see it now, why do you think Kathy let this happen? She was lettin' you go. She thought you'd take a chance and fly out to get Olivia."

Elliot narrowed his eyes. "What?" he asked, still holding the door open.

Fin nodded. "She knew you loved her, but she knew the spark and life was gone. She knew where it went. She wanted you to go get it." He let out another slow breath, and as he left, he said, "We both did."

Elliot watched Fin leave, feeling somehow worse than before, and slightly guilty. "Tell me I shouldn't feel badly about yelling at him like that," he said, shutting the door, talking to Olivia without looking at her.

Olivia slid her hands over his shoulders and squeezed. "He deserved it," she told him. "Yeah, the reasons...they were pretty valid. But it doesn't excuse him, El."

He nodded and turned to face her, kissing her softly.

"And I think you should, uh, make a move on Benson," she joked, kissing him sweetly again.

"Already did," he whispered, running his fingers through her hair. "I wasn't gonna tell him that," he said with a sigh. He dropped his hand to her lower back and nudged, leading her into the bedroom.

She sighed as she moved to the still unpacked boxes by her freshly dusted dresser, and she searched for a pair of sweatpants. "So, uh, we...um..."

"Yeah," Elliot said with a nervous laugh. "I don't know...how that happened, I wasn't trying to..."

"Neither was I," she interrupted. "El, if Fin didn't knock..."

"I would have stopped," he assured her, cutting her off. He walked toward her, reached for her, and rested both hands on her hips. "I promise, I would have stopped before it got too serious."

She nodded, kissed him once, and pulled away from him to change. She was used to him being around, so she didn't try to shield herself as she slid off her jeans and pulled on the black sweats. She noticed, out of the corner of her eye, Elliot staring. She smirked as she changed her shirt, and walked over to the bed.

Elliot cleared his throat and took off his jeans and his shirt, sliding under the covers in just his boxers. He noticed the look on Olivia's face and he grinned smugly. She wanted him as much as he wanted her, and she was just as scared of it as he was. He moved to her, hesitating for a moment before wrapping his arms around her.

She sighed into his embrace, her eyes slid shut as her breathing slowed, and she whispered a soft, "I love you," before falling into a deep sleep.

"I love you, too, Liv," he whispered, as his open eyes watched her lips curl into a smile. He sighed and smiled, falling asleep with her in his arms.

"Elliot," a man in an expensive suit said, rising to shake his hand.

"Thanks for seeing me, Tom," he said, gripping and shaking the man's hand.

Tom nodded and sat back down. "Please," he said, "Have a seat. Tell me what happened, I thought you and Kathy were doing good."

Elliot scoffed. "We were," he said with a shrug, "Until she started sleeping with my best friend. Not Liv." He laughed when he saw Tom's face. "I can't say I'm blameless, I know I wasn't an ideal husband, but...the feelings were...gone." He shrugged again and shook his head. "I tried, though," he added.

Tom nodded. "I know you did," he said. "As many nights as we went out drinking, you told some stories, man. I know it was rough." He handed Elliot a file, then, and said, "Down to business, as I know you have to get back to work. She's seeking joint custody, and aside from her infidelity, I see no reason she shouldn't get it."

Elliot furrowed his brow. "I thought the kids went to the parent better suited to take care of them," he said, irritated.

Tom scoffed. "And you think with your schedule and track record, that it's you?" He ran a hand through his hair and said, "I know you're a good father, Elliot, but she's a good mother. No reports of abuse or neglect, no character witnesses stating she's an unfit mother," he said in a condescending manner. "However, she's also not getting much of anything in the settlement, as you were the innocent party and the marriage ended because of what she did," he explained, hoping to make it better.

Elliot bit his bottom lip. "Shit," he hissed. "So...joint custody...what does that mean? I get them every other weekend and holidays?"

"No, Elliot," Tom said, closing his eyes. When he opened them, he said, "Every two weeks, the kids will switch parents. You both need to have space and supplies for them, since it's wrong to ask them to keep packing and unpacking."

"Oh, like it's right to ask them to ping-pong back and forth from Queens to Manhattan?" Elliot snapped. "God, this was supposed to be easy!"

Tom sighed. "It doesn't help, either, that you won't have a female figure around for them. Kathy, at the very least, can supply them with..."

"I do," he interrupted. "Olivia. She's gonna be there. She's gonna help," he said without thinking.

Tom's eyes widened. "That...that might change things, but not much," he said, taking the file back from him. "You make more money, don't you?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "You're the more stable of the two of you, employment wise, correct?"

"Yes," Elliot said. "Does that..."

"It might, Elliot," Tom said, smiling. "You just leave everything to me. But for now, you need to get yourself a four bedroom house, furnish it, and cart your kids to and fro every fourteen days." He cleared his throat and said, "And pray that a judge sees things my way sooner than later."

Elliot nodded. "Thanks," he said, getting up. "It's better than not seeing them at all, right?" he sighed.

"It is," Tom said, nodding back. He watched Elliot leave with a sad smile.

"How'd it go?" Olivia asked quietly, watching Elliot take his seat across from her.

Elliot shrugged. "Joint custody, it looks like," he said, scratching behind his ear. "I just...this isn't bothering me as much as I thought it would. I got angry in the lawyer's office, but on the walk back here, I just...it didn't matter anymore."

Olivia shrugged and gave him a flattened smile. "You wanted her to hurt, El. You wanted to take away just as much as she took from you. Getting the kids would have..."

"You think that's it?" Elliot asked, his eyes narrow. "I mean, do you really think that's the way I processed this?"

She sighed and said, "I'm not saying that you thought about it that way, El. The human mind...you subconsciously wanted her life taken away, because she took away yours. Think about it." She leaned closer to him and said, "Think, El. You seem less vindictive today than you did yesterday, don't you? And the day before that? You were beyond homicidal. You're calming down."

He looked at her for a moment, smiled with a small chuckle, and said, "Because I got my life back. Everything she ripped away from me...I've got back. I'm not that upset anymore."

"See? You still have your kids, and your job," she said with a bigger smile. "She didn't really..."

"I have you," he whispered, looking into her eyes.

She looked at him, his gaze sending shivers down her spine. Suddenly, she felt a little less lonely, and a little more ready for what was happening with him. She just hoped she could convince herself to keep from running.

Elliot would ask her a question, forcing her to convince herself faster.

A/N: What does Elliot ask? And a night out turns sour, when they run into Fin and Kathy. Review here, or on Twitter: TMG212