A/N: This chapter is what you would call "odd". It's from Hermione's POV, so it's already a bit different from most of this story, but this chap is particularly strange. Still, I had a fantastic time writing it, and I hope you enjoy reading it just as much.

This chapter was brought to you by the motivation of having reviewers, who are: DawnaMalfoy, Zarroc, Kaydotsidot, Lucifer's Lair, Karana Belle and Dawnella! You guys are wubbulous, remember that. So now, for the chapter:

The Art of Being Insane

Chapter 10: The Slytherins (and Random Malfoy Facts)

In general, I liked knowing things. Even, tiny, insignificant, completely useless little details that could never in your life come in handy – I thrived off that. It wasn't really that I thought those things might be needed some day (although in this, I was often proven wrong) it was just that I loved the feeling of knowing. The thought that I held knowledge and could rattle it off at any given moment! That gave me the feeling of accomplishment, of power.

This, of course, made me naturally curious. Most people would expect me not to be, considering my nose was forever stuck in a book, but I was very well aware of the fact that there were many things to be learned just by noting your surroundings.

For instance, I learned many things about Quidditch not only because I had read eighty-seven books on it (eighty-eight if you counted that magazine) but because I had gone to so many matches, and had to listen to so many debates on it from Harry and the Weasleys. I learned about Muggle dentistry not simply because I had finished the local libraries entire collection on the topic by the time I was nine, but because I had spent so much time in my parent's office, watching them.

I even enjoyed learning about the Dark Arts, and knew a lot about them, thanks to the countless hours Ron and I had researched it in order to help Harry. "Know thine enemy" and all that. Arming ourselves with knowledge had been our – alright, my – tactic since the very beginning. And I didn't hear many complaints, especially when I was able to get my friends out of particularly tight spots (Devil's Snare, figuring out the secret of the basilisk etc.).

If there was one thing I really did not care to expand my knowledge on, it was Malfoy. But slowly and surely, I was beginning to do just that.

Random Malfoy Fact #32:

He cannot draw to save his life.

"Why does this pile of rocks have clothes on?" I asked incredulously, pointing to the illustration on one of Malfoy's flyers.

I had accidentally suggested at that he hold auditions for new friends (or as he put it 'cronies/companions') a few days ago and somehow he had found it a brilliant idea. Seeing how he still could not walk, I was stuck helping him hang up the dratted audition notices around the school.

"What? Let me see that." Malfoy snatched the flyer out of my hand, giving me a papercut, but he didn't notice. "That's not a pile of rocks, you idiot Mudblood." He spat, "That's a wizard! A strong one, like the kind I want for the job. Don't you see the face?"

I squinted at the drawing. I could sort of make out human like features on the little rock sitting on top of the rest, but not really. When I pointed this out, however, I merely got as sneer and was told to pass the Spellotape.

I sank into a stupor as Malfoy stuck his posters on the wall opposite the Great Hall. We had been at it since classes ended two hours previous, and we weren't even done with the first floor yet. I couldn't imagine how he expected us to finish the entire castle and still get back up to the common room to do our homework on time. Not to mention – the salve. I groaned inwardly upon remembering.

Every twelve hours for the past week, Malfoy and I had had to find empty classrooms close to our dorms so that I could apply the salve to his wound, and (every third day) change the bandages. While this was basically a load of trouble and always ended in shouting, I had no other choice considering Madam Pomfrey had a passionate hatred of him and would refuse to do the task herself. I was beginning to dread the coming of eight o' clock every day.

"Let's go." Malfoy ordered, handing me back the tape and reaching into his pocket for something. Just from the way his hand was rustling around, I could tell what he was looking for.

Random Malfoy Fact #7:

He loved peppermints. When he started eating them you knew that:

A) He was nervous/frustrated

B) He was hungry

C) He was bored and feeling particularly habitual at the time

At the moment, I was pretty sure it was simply Situation C, but it could've been A as well. I knew I was becoming frustrated with the whole ordeal. I did have translations, computations and essays due Monday after all.

The sharp minty smell I had grown accustomed to since the beginning of the year filled my nostrils as we began our painfully slow ascent to the second floor. "Damn." Malfoy said bitterly, still digging through his pockets, "That was the last one."

Perfect! "How about we go back to the common room then? You can get more peppermints and I can start my homework." I was already pulling him in the direction of our dorms. "We can hang up the rest of the flyers tomorrow."

"That's not possible!" He protested. "We've got to finish today."

"Why?"

"Because the auditions are tomorrow night, stupid."

I sighed, growing more agitated. "But…" I searched for some excuse to return to the Head Common Room. I then remembered something that had been on the flyers and brightened. "You only want Slytherin's for the job, right? So we can go down to the dungeons and post them around there."

Malfoy let out a bark of laughter. "You're mad, Granger. Are you seriously suggesting that the two of us go down to the Slytherin dorms with our arms around each other and hang up flyers? Have you forgotten that you're an idiot Mudblood Gryffindor, and that I'm not exactly the most popular guy in my House anymore?"

"Well, I don't see why that should stop us. Besides," I felt a surge of power as drew my wand, waving it dangerously in front of his nose, "Are you seriously suggesting that we can't take care of ourselves? Have you forgotten that I'm the much-feared Head Girl, and you're the equally capable Head Boy?"

There was simply no arguing with that logic, and he knew it. Thus, we hobbled back down the stairs and over to the entrance to the dungeons.

It became increasingly darker as we made our descent to the dungeons. More than once my clumsy feet missed a step, and Malfoy, who was used to the path, had to steady me before I sent the both of us plunging to our doom. Finally though, we made it to the bottom. "Granger," he breathed. Our grip on each other tightened when we saw the unlit corridor ahead. "Did I mention that this is a really bad idea?"

"Oh, quiet." I said, much braver than I felt. "Here's the Spellotape. Hang up the posters."

Very unwillingly, Malfoy took the tape from me and started put up the posters along the while. For a while, it seemed like we were utterly alone in the darkness, but soon I heard voices coming from around the corner. "The common room is down there." He explained. "But as if I'm going to go over there and be seen with you."

"You don't have to, Draco," said a male voice from behind him. "We'll just come over here and see you."

We whirled. Blaise Zabini stood at the end of the hall, hand in hand with a simpering Daphne Greengrass. The both of them seemed very amused to see us in this strange state.

"So what are you and the Mudblood up to now?" Zabini continued smoothly, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned against the wall. This caused Daphne to be jerked around rather violently, but she didn't seem to mind. "Thought you'd sneak her down here for a snog?"

My jaw dropped. Malfoy stepped forward. "Listen, Zabini, it's one thing to be an asshole, but it's something else entirely to be an asshole to the Head Boy and Girl."

Daphne burst out laughing. "What are you going to do? Put him in detention?"

I stepped forward as well. "Who said anything about detention?"

Now the two Slytherins looked frightened. "Fine," Zabini said quickly, turning away, "But I'll be sure to tell the entire House about this, if you don't mind - "

"STOP."

Blaise froze in mid-step. Something glittered from the side of his ankle. "What?" he threw back at us.

Malfoy began struggling against me, but I held him back. "You -" he spluttered, "I can't believe…you slimy little – ZABINI!" Malfoy gave me a hard shove that slammed me into the wall, and went tearing towards his Housemate. Zabini started to run, but Malfoy tackled his legs, knocking them both to the floor. Fists were flying within seconds, along with the shouts of the two boys.

"GET AWAY FROM HIM!" shrieked Daphne, trying to pull Malfoy off Zabini. He swatted at her and she recoiled, running around the corner screaming for people to come and stop the fight. I hurried over to Malfoy and Zabini, arriving at the scene at the same time as all the Slytherins. We were all just in time to see Malfoy knock Zabini onto his stomach, and then sit on the boy's back. With a look of triumph, he yanked up Zabini's foot.

"LOOK!" Malfoy bellowed to the other boy. He pulled at Zabini's sock and again I saw something glitter on the side. Close up, I could see it was golden stitching. "You see that! Right there you little bastard! DM. Draco Malfoy. You have the nerve to come over and insult me while wearing MY SOCKS!"

Socks? Was that what this was about?

Random Malfoy Fact #49

He was very protective over his personal possessions, almost to the point of being obsessive.

Still. This was a bit ridiculous.

"Malfoy," I murmured, pulling him up off of Blaise. "We should get out of here fast…"

"Where do you think you're going Mudblood?" Pansy Parkinson said sharply while Daphne helped Zabini up from the ground. "Do you really think we'll let the two of you go quietly after what you just did?"

Calls of support came from the crowd, which was slowly beginning to close in on Malfoy and me. I shifted so that the two of us were back-to-back.

"Plan, Granger?" he said out of the side of his mouth. He drew his wand.

"Not really," I answered, "You?"

"Nothing. Unless…" He grabbed my free wrist, and lowered his voice. "Okay, follow my lead. I can't get back upstairs without you, so stay close." Then, before I even knew what was happening, he yelled. "LUMOS SOLEM!"

An amazingly white light filled the corridor, blinding us all. The Slytherin's staggered away from us, attempting to shield their eyes. I felt Malfoy tugging at my wrist, and although he probably couldn't see very well himself, I followed. We ran wildly around the corner, bumping repeatedly into the walls as we went, taking every twist and turn we could find.

"They're getting away!" I heard the shout of Daphne Greengrass from far behind. "After them!"

Malfoy must've heard this as well, for he threw himself onto me, and we tumbled into an empty classroom. We both lay on the floor for a moment, trying to catch our breath, but we knew it would only be a matter of seconds before we would have to start running again.

"I know you're not the favorite of your House anymore," I choked, using a desk to hoist myself up. "But you didn't tell me that they all hated you."

Malfoy got up as well, wincing while he clutched his wound. "No, just the ones in our year, the younger students don't care. And Crabbe and Goyle like me. The only reason my fellow seventh years have never tried this before is because those two are always around. Well that, and because my beating up Zabini is a good excuse."

"Right, what was - "

The doorframe filled with the mob, led by Daphne and Pansy. "There they are!" Pansy screeched, pointing an accusing finger at the two of us.

"Malfoy, get behind me!" I cried, taking his wand and pointing it at the row of desks. "Oppugno!" A desk flew through the air, crashing in front of Theodore Nott. "Oppugno! Oppugno! Oppugno Maximus! Malfoy, go!" We ducked out of the room all the desks in the room were hurled toward group of Slytherins, and continued sprinting down the halls.

"What do we do?" I said, slightly hysterical, "We can't run from them forever!"

"I don't know! You're the Mudblood, you do the thinking!"

"Malfoy, don't start - !"

Footsteps echoed loudly behind us, coming closer and closer.

Malfoy gripped my wrist tighter. "I got it! If we're not in their territory, I'm safe! So all we have to do it get back upstairs!"

"Wait, you'll be safe? What about me!"

"Whatever, you too, let's just go! Quick, in here." Again Malfoy threw himself on me, but this time we ended up cramped in a broom closet. "Give me some room." He whined, and I was pressed into a corner while he made himself comfortable. Oh, I was so going to get him for this later.

"What's your plan?" I asked, trying not to sneeze from all the dust.

"It's – oh God, no."

"Malfoy, what now?"

"I'm bleeding."

"Don't be dramatic."

"No, really." He turned towards me, and in the darkness I could vaguely make out his worried expression. "Look." He moved his hands from his midriff and now I saw that the front of his shirt was almost completely soaked through with blood. I gasped, horrified. "It's the all the running." Malfoy told me, his voice hoarse. "The wound reopened."

Random Malfoy Fact #11

When his voice went hoarse, it meant he was doing everything he could to not show how much pain he was in. It was a macho thing.

I remembered this immediately, and thus knew that we had to get upstairs fast so that we could stop the bleeding. I was not particularly fond (read: not at all fond) of Malfoy but I knew what happened when a person looses too much blood, and I did not want his death on my hands.

I poked my head out of the closet. Although I could still hear the Slytherins, their voices sounded much farther off. We seemed to be safe for the moment.

"What's the fastest way upstairs?"

"Flying."

"The fastest way upstairs that we can use!" I said through gritted teeth.

"Oh. Actually, it's back the way we came."

My head was beginning to throb from the complexity of the situation. "What? But there's an angry mob charging toward us from that direction! How are we supposed to get back if - " I stopped in mid-sentence, and idea forming in my mind. "Malfoy, come back into the hallway, I've got an idea."

Once out into the hallway, I started running in place. "What are you doing?" Malfoy hissed. "They'll find us!"

"Exactly." I huffed back, before launching into the second part of my plan. Loudly, but not enough to give myself away I said, "This way! No, not in the broom closet…Malfoy!" I threw myself back against the door, slamming it shut, and then listened intently.

"Did you hear that?" Daphne's shrieking voice rang out through the halls. "Look in all the broom closets!"

I grinned. Now for part three. Grabbing Malfoy by the wrist, I pulled the two of us into the classroom down the hall in near silence. When they all run past the room to the broom closet," I whispered, crouching next to the door, "We go out as quickly and quietly as we can and run to our dorm."

"And if they realize they've been tricked and catch us anyway?"

I sighed, not wanting to consider that possibility. "Then we fight."

The sound of pounding feet was swelling, drawing closer….and then it died away, rushing at the broom closet. We heard the door bang open and then Pansy say, "They've already gone, we have to catch them!" and I knew we were safe. I opened the door stealthily and Malfoy and I rushed back to the staircase, trying to avoid making any sort of sound, but we had lost the Slytherins for good (or at least for now).

When we emerged from the dungeons, Malfoy slumped against the wall. "You know what? I'm switching to Hufflepuff."

123123123123123123123123123123

"OW! You did it again!"

"Well, stop moving."

"It's not my fault. That bloody stuff stings!"

"Would you rather I take you to Madam Pomfrey?"

Malfoy quieted at once.

I continued to dab the healing paste onto the long cuts that had been causing all the bleeding before. It had taken forever to convince Malfoy to let me clean them ("I don't need some stupid Lump to bathe me") and to allow me to put the paste on them. Along with the salve, the cuts themselves would probably be gone by tomorrow, although now I suspected the wound would take even longer to heal, which meant I would have to go on with this twice-a-day ritual for a while.

'Oh, the joy.'

"Alright, sit up," I directed, smearing the last bit of the paste onto his middle. "And don't you dare make me rewrap the bandages after this."

"Hmph." Malfoy grumbled, straightening up so I could apply the clean new bandage. "You know, this whole thing is your fault."

"Really? Let's see: You starting a ridiculous fight with Blaise Zabini over socks - "

"He's been stealing them from me since first year! That boy is not normal!" He argued, but I ignored him.

" – which caused us to get chased by crazed Housemates of yours, who wanted to do God knows what to us, and running from them made your wound bleed." I tapped my chin in mock confusion. "Oh, wait, the fact that you have that wound is apparently my fault too, because, of course, I was the one that made you Apparate, even though in truth I was the only person sensible enough to try and stop you! I suppose world hunger's my doing as well, isn't it! WHY IS EVERYTHING ALWAYS HERMIONE'S FAULT?"

"Granger!" Malfoy yelped.

"What!"

"The bandages!" he squeaked.

I looked and saw that, in my rage, I had wrapped the bandages so tightly around Malfoy that he was unable to breathe.

Okay. Maybe some things were my fault.

A/N: Review and chapters will come. Well, they will even if you don't review. But review anyway.