Chapter 10- "The Reaping"

Ashton couldn't breath- he couldn't think... all he could do was stare at her face- her angry, vicious- beautiful face.

"Can I kiss you?" He whispers- she was so close, he could feel the heat of her body only an inch away from his own. She was breathing heavily- the decoration around them was nothing in comparison to her dark green eyes- they were so livid, she looked ready to kill.

"No!" She snarls, breathlessly, but she doesn't pull back. He could do it anyway- he didn't expect her to retaliate, but just to- he watched her lips- a supple pink, delicate.. soft, and unconsciously his head moved closer...

Her lips parted on their own accord, her own face shifted- at the perfect angle- their breath mingling together, both hearts racing. His lips were all but brushing against hers- her eyes had closed- one of his hands raised- gentle fingers settling on the side of her jaw-

Then he turned away, closing his eyes, dropping his hand. "You said no..." He whispers. In his chest warring with emotions and hormones wanted nothing more to kiss her, but in his head he couldn't do it, it went against all his rules, all his morals.

No means no.

Keera opened her eyes- they were weak, self hating. She draws in a deep breath- heavy with his musky scent. Then she whispers.. "Caleb won't be told."

And then with reckless abandonment she kisses him.

…..

(A few hours before hand)

The day of the reaping Caleb and I laid together in bed until noon. We didn't say much, just lay there- staring at the ceiling, sometimes each other- lost in our own thoughts. Enjoying the warmth of the sheets, savoring each others company. Sometimes randomly he would kiss me, softly- hugging me tightly- before he would return to the state of just lying there.

I didn't do much, I let myself review everything that might save me in the arena. When that was through I thought about everything I had to lose. Caleb, Aven, Jack, Dean, a future...

In that depressing thought I would snuggle closer to Caleb's chest- reassuring myself. Like he must be when he would kiss me.

I wondered if he was thinking of Tera- I felt a twinge of unjust jealous, but I pushed it back by reminding myself that he is here with me, not her. That he sung to me, not her. That it is me he kisses for strength, not her.

I cried out to him when he got up, he was sitting on the ledge of the bed, staring at his feet, a hand clutching his hair- I waited for him to reassure me, to tell me it is time for us to go but instead he says.

"We can't know each other." He whispers and my eyes fly wide, I shoot up in the sitting position.

"What?"

He sighs, but refuses to turn to me. "I will be called from the prison. I will go by my real name.. Caleb." He is implying something and I realized something for the first time that I should have pondered weeks ago.

Everyone will wonder- Was this the Caleb so famously rumored those years ago? That Blake was related to? That I had claimed to love but then claimed him a myth?

I am quiet for a long time, thinking over the cons and pros. "Why can't we know each other? Wouldn't it be good insult to the Capitol, by finally being honest?" I whisper.

I see the muscles in his back stiffen and he shakes his head- the hand in his hair falling away. "It goes against the plan."

I bite my lip and slowly I draw closer to him- he flinches away and I freeze. "Because I blind you." I conclude.

He shrugs, standing now- but still not looking at me. "That, and we can't be allies- openly- in the Game for this to work."

I fight back any nervousness- reminding myself that he is to be listened to. "Okay." I say, forcing myself not to ask what plan, or why or anything- because I know questions make things harder for him.

I watch silently as he crosses the room, pulls on a shirt and then he goes to the door- opens it- I am all but gritting my teeth not to say something and then he pauses. Hand against the door frame, shoulders tense.

"I love you, Keera." He murmurs, and I do not even get to reply when he slips out the door and is gone form sight.

I sigh, getting myself out of bed, heading for the shower.

Forty-five minutes later I am dressed and ready- Fray is knocking at my door.

I smile best I can, standing in the doorway and he grins- trying to be cheerful- then he cranes his neck to look over me and I shake my head, because Caleb is not there.

"We are not to acknowledge each other." I say, sadly and he frowns.

He probably guessed why but still he adds. "Won't people assume he is the one you spoke of, even if you act as if you guys are strangers?"

"Caleb doesn't seem to think so." Is my only reply and I step out of the door and shut it tightly. We walk down the street slowly, I keep looking down at my feet though.

How could the plan even work? Everyone in District 8 knows of us.

I shake off the troubling thought, maybe it wasn't even his plan- probably his boss's. He did say they do not like victors much, maybe she was against me just because of that, and the way I have already caused Caleb to mess up.

There aren't many people crowding the streets as me and Fray travel to the square, we are technically almost late. But hell if I care.

By the time we slip to the front of the crowd and I'm placed into the roped off area for females victors, of which there is only me. And across my is the rope for male victors- there is none. I am aware I'm being stared at, but I clench my jaw- staring blankly up at the mayor on stage. Fray and Pippa stand behind him and they give me impish smiles.

When the speeches start and the anthem plays dutifully- I draw a deep breath, close my eyes momentarily, and I pull myself towards that old me, that I've unsuccessfully buried over the years. The unstable, plotting, impulsive girl I have thought to forget.

…..

Caleb watched from the back of the square- Keera was virtually invisible to him here- and that was for the best. He had to fight back the instinct to protect her, but instead listen to his boss. President Coin would be pissed if he was the one who broke again.

He had chains on both his wrist, connected to man on his right- and Tera on his left. She was smirking and he knew it was because she was going to enjoy seeing Keera climb up that stage. But even underneath she was howling in pain- for the loss of Caleb.

She leaned towards him, and her fingers continually brushed across the back of his hand- he didn't pull away because he hated to make Tera feel worse then he knew she already did. The least he could do is give her some hope- that he didn't have.

"She looks terrified." Tera whispers, and Caleb felt his throat tighten considerably. But he refused to drop his eyes from the mayors face.

"I wouldn't know." He murmurs back.

Tera lifts her face to look at his and she frowns. "Why did you do it? How can you just throw your life away?"

He sighs, glancing down at her from the corner of his eye. "Because I love her." He simply says.

Tera huffs, glaring now, hissing harshly. "Did I ever even have a chance? Would you have ever loved me, if she was not blinding you?" It wasn't the best time for the subject, but Tera was itching with the increasing fear of never seeing him again.

Caleb shakes his head. "Don't."

"Don't what?" She snarls, suddenly tugging on the chain around his wrist and forcing him to look at her. She stared up into his suddenly dark face and she sneered back at it. "If you chose me, Blake would still be here. You wouldn't have to go now, you would get to run things, you would-"

"I chose Keera." He hisses, his eyes sparking in defense. "I chose her- and I have no regret."

"Oh yes, no regret." Tera replies sarcasticly, flipping her hair aside and averting her face back towards the stage, then murmuring. "We'll see about that.."

He narrows his eyes at her, but then tears himself away- just as he hears Keera's name being called.

…..

"Ashton? Hey! Earth to Ashton!" Morfalin called, waving a hand in front of his friends blank, sad face. "Dude! You knew she was going to go back, why are you.. freaking out now?"

Ashton didn't look at his worried friend, instead he just watched with increasing dread as Keera walked gracefully up on the stage, her face hard- her eyes unforgiving- as she places herself in between the two Capitol escorts and trainers.

The woman wraps an arm around Keera's shoulders and the man gives her a smile. She returns nothing, just stands limp in the woman's arms.

His friend continued to pester him, until the other Peacekeeper on Ashton's right began to join in on disturbing his distress. But then with a sudden outburst of anger, he whips around to them and snarls at them viciously.

They fall silent in surprise- never has Ashton been cruel. But the boy was at the moment at a cross road of confusion. The last month he has spent in this district- he had learned not to hate all of these people- in fact some he respects, others he pities, but never has he seen the beastliness that the Capitol told him of. In fact he saw more beast-like characteristics in the other Peacekeepers- that represent the Capitol!

He couldn't turn against his home though, just question it, and those few who have lost there purpose. He feels sorry for those few blemishes (that the boy saw) and he also felt dreadful at watching this girl go. She was pretty, and nice, and even underneath her scowling he knew she was just as soft as those girls he would see at his home, in the Capitol.

And with those girls he was taught to respect- yet he and hundreds of others stand by as she walks to death- and then they watch it.

He could not see her badly though, no matter how much he tried to remind himself of the way she killed in the arena, the way she looks- half starved, blood covered, grim layered across her skin- even then he couldn't think her the cruel one- no... only the Capitol, and himself, for allowing it.. for having enjoyed it in the past.

…..

The mayor, nervous, ill-prepared, and slightly guilt ridden.. picked up the letter he had received prior to this morning. He opened it in front of the crowd that watched with confusion.

He could hear Keera behind himself, struggling to keep even breathing and it only added to his reluctance to do this- but he had a job, a place in this plan.

As he with-drawled the letter- he read it quickly- and then cleared his throat, saying out loud. "Citizens of District 8.. it had become to my, President's Snow, attention that you lack a proper male tribute." he read aloud. "The Quarter Quell though, has not been so terribly prepared for such an incident. The card has read that the third anniversary be 'a reminded to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol' so as we lack a proper candidate- we are forced to take on one that is among those who are the closest to our victors... prisoners."

The mayor lays the letter down now next to the micro phone and many people in the crowd arch around to stare at the gathering of District 8's accumulated prisoners.

Among them he spotted the targeted boy- a recent alley and boss to him. And next to Caleb he stares at the girl who is his new commander- Tera.

Swallowing, waiting for the intense confusion and realizations to pass through everyone... he takes up talking again- reading line for line on the letter.

"We have done the drawing, from those names of which we collected. And for the results..." There was a pause, Keera whimpered- only loud enough for the mayor to hear and then he murmurs. "Caleb Clarke."

Silence, then hushed confusion, curiosity. The Peacekeepers holding onto the prisoners stumbled to Caleb- who was blank- and they unlocked him from the chains, but just as he was released.. taking a step forward...

Tera cried out, a sound of loss and pain. Staged or real- the mayor could not judge. But he watched in a frozen, saddened state just as everyone else as she flung herself forward, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and then kissing him.

Scenes like these aren't uncommon in the reaping, but Keera behind the mayor, slipped, or something because he heard her feet give out and the two on her side have to keep her upright- or else she would have fallen. No one notices this, she made no noise- just stared at the pair.

Caleb drew back first from the kiss- looking surprised, but he did not shove her away. Just stared down at her- she whispered something. That made the boy face twitch in outrage, but then it feel blank again as the Peacekeepers forced Tera back into chains and shoved Caleb to the stage.

The mayor gave him a confused look as he passed, but Caleb did not acknowledge it. Instead he stood a few feet away from Keera and the escorts- that both now held her around the shoulders- and he didn't spare them a glance. Keera was gnawing on her lip staring up at the sky.

…..

Betrayal ate at my insides like a ravenous hunger. Stinging tears, choked my throat, and my eyes threatened to let them fall and I refused to look at anyone anymore instead I stared up into the clouds.

Pain crawled up my body of the worst kind, because for some reason- I felt like this was suppose to happen, that I was just waiting for Caleb to realize. I bit down on my lip, tasted blood.

I felt weak- a pang so hard or rejection and I don't know the other one, but it was such a force, my knees gave out, I would have fallen with the own extremity of the pain- if not for Fray and Pippa.

Why was I so emotional! I shouldn't be crying, or reacting like this- in fact I had no right. Caleb had seen me kiss strangers. His brother! And he had never mentioned it once... he didn't even care to notice the flowers another boy sent me.

He just didn't care. I realize. Maybe he didn't want to put in the extra effort of playing with my emotions- by acting jealous. Maybe he had to force himself, gritting his teeth as he did so, to hug me, kiss me- anything. It was fake, probably- maybe... hell I hope not.

But there it is again- hope. How can I use a word so lost to me?

I let my mind run wild with these theories. That I know aren't true- the kiss could easily be blamed on her. Or as far as I know it was a part of the plan...

I didn't notice it was time to go to City hall until Fray and Pippa started pushing me forward. I look to them and he nods in encouragement.

I sigh, and then force myself to continue walking.

Once I'm escorted into my room, I sit on the velvet couch- waiting for the time to pass. I already said good bye to Aven and Jack, I don't expect Dean to come...

I sit there a good ten minutes until there is a knock at the door and then it slips open, to reveal Ashton.

I shrink away from him- I do not need his oblivious kindness now.

But he looks so sad, and he is holding his hat in front of him, twisting it nervously, like before and as he closes the door and takes two steps in he looks at his toes and mumbles. "I'm sorry."

I stare at him, sitting up on the edge of the couch, wrapping my arms around myself. "For what?" I whisper.

He looks up at me with those golden savory eyes for only a moment before replying. "That you have to go back- that... that boy is going with you.." He paused, uncertain and I narrow my eyes.

"What else?" I say, louder now.

"That you had to see him kiss that girl." He says quickly, look embarrassed to having said it- but I should have realized he would be watching me, would have seen the pain and shock and near fall I received.

I find myself annoyed that he would pity me for something like that. But I try to overcome it and respond. "I have no right to object."

His eyes lock with mine, there is an annoyance in his own look. "You let a guy treat you like that?" He demands.

I hiss, my annoyance easily swinging into anger and indignation. "You just don't understand!" I snap standing up and jumping in his face, preparing to chew him out. "I have done too much-"

"Doesn't matter what you have done." Ashton insists, cutting me off. "Two wrongs don't make a right- if he forgives you for anything you've done, then he has no right to claim a pay back now."

I pause in yelling and taking out all my frustration on him, but I know the anger is still alive in my face and my eyes glare at him. We stand closer then I chose to realize and he though tries to look mostly down at his hat, I notice his eyes lingering on my lips.

"Can I kiss you?" He whispers.

Forbidding runs through me at this, my thoughts falter... he was so close, I could feel the heat of him only an inch away. He was bristling with kindness- and a sweet nothingness that I craved to feel then rather this pain and the complicity of my life. His eyes were so warm, so much warmer then Caleb's- though they held none of Caleb's passion or brown or green...

Guilt at considering a kiss hits me and I instantly snarl. "No!" But it is breathlessly, I can't find it in myself to pull away, do I have no strength at all?

He ducks closer despite my answer- and I can't say I'm disappointed. My lips part on their own accord, my face shifted- at the perfect angle- my body ached to kiss him, yet my head yelled Caleb's name repeatedly.

His sweet, caressing breath fans over my face. Only a inch away, I close my eyes, and his lips were all but brushing against mine- warm, soft, kind. One of his hands raised- gentle fingers settling on the side of my jaw- my head reacted to it, by putting a picture for Caleb in front of my eyes, reminding me that he always touches my face. Guilt adds on and on, but my own want of causing him similar pain- even secretly- would not allow me to pull away. No matter how much I hated myself for it- Tera and him kissing was still replaying in my mind.

But he turned away, closing his own eyes, dropping his hand. "You said no..." He whispers. A slight hope raises in my chest- maybe I won't do it. But- but pain, searing betrayal at Caleb and Tera was still there.

I wanted revenge- because no matter how much I think about it.. I have not done anything to Caleb before. Those kisses were nothing, they were desperate and to strangers. They were only survival.

But Tera was an old friend, a close friend, one he had kissed before. That meant more then my insignificant kisses- I can not stand down. My own stubbornness would not allow me to be treated like that (like Ashton said) I would not be thrown aside- even if I deserved to be.

I feel weak and self hating. But drawing in a deep breath- heavy with his scent. Then strong on my revenge I whisper. "Caleb won't be told." Telling myself the same thing- and then I pull forward- taking the kiss.

A/N: I know everything may seem randon, confusing, and impulsivly written- but it's not! I have a plan.. an evil plan.(; So keep on reading! Please review! Update soon. -Taryn(: