Sorry this chapter took a long time to finish…I started it over a week ago and I just kept getting stuck! This story doesn't have much more to it, but thanks for staying until the end. I'm guessing we only have a couple more chapters before it's all over, but I don't know when exactly I'll be able to finish it up. It shouldn't take too long! And to make things clear, this story was rated M for mature content, not for smut. I mean…I would feel really bad about having lemons in a story all about strict Catholicism.

This chapter may be on the short side, so I apologize in advance. I just got back from lunch with my little brother and his girlfriend and then I have things to do around the apartment to ensure that it's not a total mess.

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"Most certainly I tell you, unless you turn, and become as little children, you will in no way enter into the Kingdom of Heaven. Whoever therefore humbles himself as this little child, the same is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven." –Matthew 18:3-4

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Bella Cullen

I lay in my hospital bed, staring up at the ceiling and wallowing in my own misery. I cried for my pain, I cried for Jacob, I cried for the child that hadn't gotten the chance to live, and I cried for the children that Edward and I would never be able to have. Despite what Edward had said, I still believed that I was lying here in this hospital bed because I was being punished. This was my purgatory, and I deserved every second of it.

I had been in the hospital for four days now, with no end in sight.

"Mommy?" I turned my head slightly, and saw Sarah standing in the doorway of my hospital room.

"Hi, sweetie." I managed to say, wiping my eyes as I tried to sit up a little more. Sharp pain radiated through my lower body as I did so, but I clenched my teeth and ignored it. "How did you get here?"

Sarah stepped inside the room, closing the door behind her. "Grandma Esme is visiting someone in the maternity ward, and she gave me a ride. She said she'll be up here soon to see you." She explained, and I just nodded. Sarah took a step closer to the bed, lightly grabbing one of my hands. "Are you okay, mom?" She asked softly. Tears flooded my eyes again, but I blinked them away.

"I'll be okay, sweetie." I said, clearing my throat and turning my head away slightly so she couldn't see how red my eyes were. "How have things been going at home?" I asked her with a fake smile on my face and false enthusiasm in my voice.

"It's fine." Sarah said softly, sitting down on the edge of my bed. "Aunt Alice has been staying with us, and she said she'll bring the rest of the kids to see you later today." Sarah hesitated a little looking at me with her wide, innocent eyes. "Dad's really sad." She added, and more tears flooded forth to my eyes. This time, Sarah saw and she reached up to gently wipe them away. "It's okay, mom." She said soothingly, stroking my hair.

I squeezed my eyes shut, breathing heavily. "I love you, baby. And I miss you." I finally managed, looking intently at Sarah. She was my firstborn child, and had been such a beautiful baby- she looked just like Edward. And now she was growing up, and I couldn't have any more babies.

The thought made my heart clench, but I focused on Sarah instead, trying to ignore both my physical and emotional pain.

"I love you too." Sarah said softly, and then we both fell silent. But it wasn't an awkward silence- it was a comfortable one. We just sat quietly and held hands, enjoying the chance to be together after four days of separation.

Several minutes passed, and then the door to my hospital room opened again, and Esme was standing there with flowers in her hands. She smiled at me as she walked into the room, but I couldn't help but remember back when Esme had found out about Jacob and had practically shunned me.

"Hi, grandma." Sarah said immediately, smiling over at her grandma.

Esme smiled back and came over to sit in the chair next to my bed. "Hi, honey. Bella, how are you doing?" She asked, setting the lilies she had brought on the nightstand.

"Okay." I said simply.

We were all quiet for a little while longer, and then Esme spoke again. "Sarah, sweetie, can you please go wait outside? I just need to talk to your mommy for a little bit." Sarah looked at me, and I smiled tightly and nodded. She kissed my cheek and slid off the bed, looking over her shoulder as she left the room and closed the door behind her. "Bella, I would like to apologize to you." Esme said softly, toying with the cross necklace that she had worn around her neck for as long as I had known her- and that was almost fifteen years.

I didn't reply, I just looked at her and waited for it.

Esme cleared her throat, and just looked down at my folded hands. "I'm not going to say what you did is excusable, Isabella. But I trust my son. And if he can forgive you, then I certainly can. I know you're a good woman, dear. And I know that it's easy to do things that are wrong. I'm not perfect, and I've made mistakes, but I shouldn't have treated you so rudely when I found out. This situation is between you and Edward."

"Thank you." I said, surprised that she had actually gone through with it. Esme was a very kind woman, but I knew she was probably still upset with me over what I had done to Edward and our family.

"You know, after I have birth to Alice, I had a hysterectomy." Esme blurted out, and my head shot up as I gaped at her.

I wet my dry lips, and then furrowed my eyebrows. "I…I didn't know that." I said quietly.

Esme nodded, still playing with her necklace. "None of us talk about it much. Emmet was only three and Edward had just turned two, so obviously they don't know much about it." She pursed her lips for a moment, and had a funny look on her face. "I wanted a big family, and so did Carlisle. We were ecstatic to have a girl, because after the destruction that came along with having two boys we thought a girl would be a little more…calm. And then a few minutes after she was born I started bleeding out…they had to do the surgery, and I wasn't even told about it until after it was done." She paused, brushing her hair out of her eyes. "We wanted a big family." She repeated.

"Edward and I didn't necessarily want any more children, but if it happened, I know we would have been so happy about it. And now that can't happen."

For the first time, Esme and I cried together.

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Please review, let me know what you think!

Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie