APH: I… do not deserve anything for this story (sweat drop) I think I deserved to get killed, or at least mutilated very badly by my reader.

Gaara: …That can be arranged… (grin madly)

APH: Err… let's… not do that for now or any where in the immediate future…

Temari: Why? You certainly deserved it.

APH: YOU… YOU…!

Temari: I what?

Kyuubi: Hmm… more fight? Let's hope there's more blood this time.

Chibi-Naruto: That won't do. We just redid the studio a while ago.

PD: This has nothing to do with me… I'm going home. (Walks away)

APH: Exactly! Now if you don't mind, I'll start my torturing session.

Itachi and Kisame: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

APH: NYAHAHAHAHAHA! STORY TELLING NO JUTSU! Oh, and they'll be some OOC in this chapter.

Disclaimer: DON'T. OWN. A. THING!

A little side notes: My divider isn't working for some reason... so bear with me plz...

Things are fine, things are calm, and things are as boring as hell. It's being about seven years since Naruto turned into a chibi via Orochimaru and things have being quite calm… or at least for the Akatsuki.

However, a certain man doesn't think so. His name is Kisame, or we can simply call him 'sharky', or 'shark-man', or anything that you can think of for him.

Anyway, like I was saying, Kisame finds this whole ordeal boring. They can just go ahead and snatch two of the tailed-beasts, but no! Their leader wants to wait. For what you asks? Well, HOW IN THE BLOODY HELL IS HE SUPPOSED TO KNOW?

"…"

And of course, his partner, Uchiha Itachi, isn't exactly helping him.

"…"

Why is that?

"…"

Because the weasel is just sitting there staring at NOTHING!

"…"

Well, not exactly nothing if you consider that squeal that is running around the clearing in front of them. Aww, how cute!

"…"

Okay, or not if you consider the red eyes, sharp fangs, and of course, let's not forget the extremely sharp nails that seems to be able to rip anyone a new hole.

"…Cute…"

…Or it can simply just be cute… Wait, what?

"Itachi-san, are you feeling alright?" Kisame asks as he blinks at his WAY shorter partner, who continues to study the squeal with those red eyes of his.

"…Why wouldn't I?" Itachi answered after a pause with the slightest shift of his eyes.

"Hmm… how should I put this?" Kisame starts as he rubs his chin for dramatic effects, "You think a squeal is cute."

"…And…?"

"Uchiha Itachi isn't supposed to know the word 'cute'… is he?" Kisame finished with a shark-like grin, only to drop it as Itachi did his 'The Uchiha Ultra Super Death Glare'. "I'm joking…"

"…" Deciding to ignore his partner for now, Itachi stands up from his sitting position and approach the squeal.

Once he is about a feet away from the little creature, it stops and lift its head up to stare at Itachi, as if judging whether he'll be a nice dinner or not. The two of the stare at each others for a few minutes, unknowingly started a staring contest that Kisame had, also unknowingly, being referring for. They continues to do this, not being disturbed by anyone.

Not by a person carrying three scrolls and a panicking expression that rushed by, leaving a trail of dust in his wake.

Not by a certain Hyuuga girl that is radiating huge amount of killing intent carrying a huge mallet… Also charging by with a trail of dust behind them.

And certainly not by a kid that's crouching in front of him. A kid with blonde wild hair, big, blue eyes, and… whisker marks?

"Eh?" Kisame blinks a few times before rubbing his eyes. Making sure that it's not an illusion, Kisame grin a very predatorily grin before chuckling to himself. "Well, well… what do we have here?"

"Ne, oji-san." Naruto starts, causing a vain to appear unto of Kisame's head, "what's that oba-san doing?"

"Oba-san? What oba-san?" Kisame asks, confused as he scan the area for this oba-san Naruto's talking about. After a few seconds, he starts to have a sinking feeling in his guts. "You don't mean…"

"That oba-san over there that's staring at a squeal." Kyuubi, who suddenly appears beside Naruto in a poof of smokes, says as he points one of his tails at, yes, the one and only, Itachi!

BOM-BOM-BOM!

"…Oh dear…" Kisame says with wide eyes before he looks at his partner. Seeing no sign of movement or any signs that shows he heard, Kisame couch down to whisper distance and says, "Hey, don't call him that in front of his face. Unless you want to die a cruel and slow death… and I'm sure I don't want to be turned into shark fin soup."

"Why not?" Kyuubi and Naruto ask as they both stare at the missing-nin with those big, innocent eyes or theirs.

'God… how I hate kids.' Kisame grumble to himself in his mind before he leans forward a bit more. "You don't want to call HIM that because he's not old and he certainly isn't a girl."

"Then is he married?" The question pops out of nowhere as the shark-man blinks a few times before a very evil grin appears.

"Hmm… no, he isn't married. In fact, he isn't even dating anyone. Can't get a girl friend with being as insensitive as he is right now."

"And…?"

"Of course, let's not forget that he's a missing-nin, a bit a very small one." Kisame went on, oblivious to the two chibis staring behind him while waving their hands, or pawns in Kyuubi's place, around madly.

"And…?"

"And then there's the fact that his bed-"

"Kisame…" A voice growled from behind him. Just then, he noticed the two chibis in front of him shaking in fear.

"Oh my…" Kisame gulped before he turns around to finds a very, VERY angry Itachi. Let's not forget that he's also using 'the Uchiha Ultra Super Death Glare' at full power. "…Hi, how's it going?"

"…"

"Um, you see, it's all a joke. I mean, come on, it's not like I'm there when you screw that-"

"YOU WHAT!"

"…Eep!" Kisame lets out a very un-missing-nin like yelp before he turns around, pick up the two chibis, and run as fast as he came. Just then, he suddenly skips to a stop to look at his unexpected 'cargoes'. "Why am I helping you two?"

"LESS TALKING…!" Naruto shouts as he pears over Kisame's shoulder.

"…MORE RUNNING!" Kyuubi finishes as a large cloud of dusts starts to gain on them.

Looking over his shoulder, Kisame blinks once before he turns back to the chibis in his hands. "Good point."

And…

"BLOODY MURDER!"

They're off…

"And…?"

"No peeping in the women's bath section."

"And…?"

"No stealing lingers if I can help it… BONK! Ouch! I m-mean no stealing lingers!"

"AND…!"

"NO PEEPING AT MY SISTER WHEN SHE'S TAKING A SHOWER!" A very beat up Kankuro yelled, and as soon as he said that, he regrets it.

"YOU WHAT!" Hanabi exclaims with eyes practically spelling death in the face of a very pale Kankuro. If the puppet master hasn't already gone snow white, he'll certainly become paler.

"N-nothing…!" Kankuro says weakly as cold sweat drops pour out of him. He is so sure that if this continues, he'll be dehydrated in no time. Forget Gaara's Sabaku Sousou, this Hyuuga chick can do much worst.

"You… YOU HENTAI!" Hanabi exclaims and mallet-sama made another impression to the puppet master's head, pushing him farther into the crater he's already in. Huffing the Hyuuga girl shoulders the huge mallet and glare at the crater in front of her. "Just be lucky that I won't be reporting THAT to Temari-san."

"T-thanks Kami… Oh, and your left shoulder is showing… black?" Kankuro lift an eye brow at that before he regrets it once again.

Blinking, Hanabi looks to her left, and sure enough, her kimono was slightly undone, showing enough of her pale skin to make just about any men drool, and of course, certainly enough to reveal some… rather personal stuff. "…EEK! HANTEI!"

KA-BOOSH!

"WAAAAAAHHH!"

"Guess I'm reporting that after all…" The Hyuuga says through tightly clench teeth as she picks up mallet-sama and starts to storm back towards Konoka. As for Kankuro, let's just say he won't be waking up anytime soon…

"Hmm… I wonder where Naruto and Kyuubi are…"

"OUT OF WAY!"

"I'm sure they were following so that they won't miss this…"

"HANABI-NEE-CHAN! OUT OF THE WAY!"

"In fact, I'm sure that's them right now…" Just then, she looks in front of her to finds Kisame charging up to her at an incredible speed, carrying two little bundles to red and yellow/orange, which glance behind them every now and then. Blinking, Hanabi suddenly finds herself spinning like a top, the result of not side stepping fast enough of the human torpedo known as Kisame. "Ah!"

"OHOHOHOHO! YOU SHALL NEVER ESCAPE ME! THE ALMIGHTY UCHIHA ITACHI! NOW SURRENDER AND PREPARE TO DIE! OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!" Another voice, who announces himself as Itachi, yelled before the owner speed passed the poor girl, leaving her spinning faster than before.

"Ayaya… t-that's n-not good…" Hanabi says before she collapses, with spiral for her eyes with her mouth hanging slightly open. "M-must inform… H-Hokage… sama…"

"LEFT!"

"RIGHT!"

"UP!"

"DOWN!"

"IN!"

"OUT!"

"WOULD YOU TWO SHUT UP AND JUST LET ME RUN!" Kisame snapped as he glances behind him once again to find the ever to psychotic weasel behind him. No doubt wanting a lot more than just cutting off his arms and legs.

As for the two small bundles under his arms… they. ARE. NOT. HELPING!

"BUT HAVE TO GO LEFT!" Kyuubi says as he sniffed the air a little.

"NO! RIGHT! GO RIGHT!" Naruto says as he tuck on Kisame's Akatsuki cloak.

"BUT THERE IS A CAVE AROUND THE LEFT!"

"IT'S BETTER IF WE GO TO TEMARI-NEE-CHAN!"

"BAKA! DO YOU WANT HER TO DIE!"

"NO! I WANT THAT HAG BEHIND US TO!" ("WHO ARE YOU CALLING A HAG!")

"AND HOW IS SHE GOING TO KILL ITACHI!" Kisame shouts in frustration as the chibis look at each others before answering in one. ("YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'S GOING TO DIE!")

"Well, give him a mouth full, before pounding him into the ground, held him up, chew him out once again, pound him again, then finally bury him alive." ("I'LL CHEW HER UP BEFORE SHE CHEWS ME UP!")

"Oh… If we survive this, remind me to stay away from her…" ("YOU WILL NOT SURVIVE!")

"URUSAI!" The trio shouts over their shoulders only to see Itachi gaining more speed.

"This won't do. Any ideas?" Kisame asks as he leaps onto a tree branch to avoid a few kunais and shurikens.

"Hmm… why don't we knock him out with sexy no jutsu?" Naruto asks as he was tossed into the air to avoid a Gokakyu no Jutsu.

"Nope, that won't work." Kisame says before he scrunches his face up, "And what is that anyway?"

"It's a jutsu that's mostly used against perverts… DUCK!" Kyuubi answered before screaming, making Kisame bent low to avoid some more weapons.

"A jutsu against perverts?" Side steps…

"Hai. It works by turning a person into a very sexy woman in NOTHING… it's really a simple henge," Kyuubi says with a sly smile as Naruto has the grace to actually blush.

"…okay. I don't want to see it." Kisame says as he rounds a corner, up the wall, and into the hidden village of Konoha!

Tsunade couldn't believe it. A few minutes ago, she's sitting in her offices, fighting against what is absolutely, completely, evil.

The accursed paper works. And she SWEARS they keeps getting bigger and higher everyday.

As for now, in this very minute, very hour of this very fine day, she finds herself doing… paper work (Author gets dropped kicked by Temari). Err… as I was saying, she was doing her paper work until something completely unexpected happens. So here she is, sitting there, with a vain twitching on her forehead as Jiraiya (who's not helping with the situation at all) lean against her wall.

"Hmm…" The fifth starts as she glances around the room with her golden eyes. "There are some suspicious characters in this very room…" As her sentence was finished, her eyes landed on three individual that's sitting in front of her.

"Oh, who?" Naruto and Kyuubi ask as they tilt their head to the right with an innocent expression on their face. The result is that Tsunade's left eye lid starts to twitch too.

"THAT'S YOU DAMN IT!" Kisame screams at the two chibis as he points a blue finger at said individuals inside the room. The result, Tsunade's lip turned into a scowl.

"YOU TOO!" Jiraiya, who didn't do anything until now, suddenly appears in front of the shark man and point a finger at him. The result, Tsunade picks up her lead paper weight.

"AND YOU TOO!" The fifth screams as she throws the object in her hand with a little TOO much force. BAM-KRUNCH! The result, Jiraiya was forcefully 'removed' from the office through a new entrance. "AND YOU'RE PAYING FOR THAT!"

"S-scary…" The other three mumbles as a shiver went down their spine. A second later, they find themselves under Tsunade's piercing glare. The three gulped at the same times as they all felt a homicide coming. 'Who's idea was it to go here again?' was the thought that went through all of their head.

"Now, let me get this straight…" The 'youthful' Hokage says as she laces her finger in front of her and rest her chins on them. In a very sweet voice and a very fake smile, she continues. "From what I heard… Uchiha Itachi is tearing my village apart looking for you three. Is that correct?"

Three nod.

"Now, because of that, Uchiha Sasuke is going around with a charged Chidori, looking like a crazed man, screaming about killing his brother… right?"

More nod.

"Good. However, while they're causing major catastrophe out there, you three are sitting here hiding… is that right?"

Three gulp, and more nods.

"Okay… so this is what I don't get. Why are you three (point at Kisame, Naruto, and Kyuubi) in here (point at the office) while those two idiot of a brother (point outside) is causing havoc all over the place? Huh?"

"Well, to put it simple…" The ex-mist nin starts as he pull at his Akatsuki collar.

"We were hiding from Itachi because…" Naruto continues as he nervously rub the back of his head.

"We don't want to die…" Kyuubi finished as he tense his leg muscles incase he needs to run. But you'll ask what about Naruto? Well, sacrifice needs to be made…

"And why is he going to kill you? You two (point at the chibis) I understand… as for YOU (Point at sharky), I don't"

"Err… I called him an oba-chan…" Naruto says as he looks up to the ceiling as he recall what happened earlier.

"Hmm… I just happen to tag alone…" Kyuubi says before he cursed under his breath for following them.

"Mm… I think it's because I insulted him by saying he'll never get a girl friend, and his height, and his skill in-"

Tsunade immediately interrupt the shark-looking man. "I don't need to know THAT part…"

"Well, that's about it…" The trio says all at once as they all sport an identical look of complete blankness.

'Oh god… why me? Why?' Tsunade asks herself as she rubs at her eyes. After a few seconds, she made her decision. Grinning at her intelligent, she looks at the trio with a very nasty smile. "Well, I know exactly what to do!"

"Oh? What's that?" The trio asks, completely oblivious about what she has in mind…

"It is very nice to do business with you, Hokaga-sama." Itachi says as his face once again resume that of a stone. The only difference is a special light that appears in his red eyes.

"No problem at all. It's just a simple cease fire for now." Tsunade says with a grin of triumph on her face.

"Yup, an act of cease fire." Kyuubi says with a sage look as he cross his front paws. Don't ask me how, it's fan fiction.

"What's a 'cease fire'?" Naruto asks as he imagine 'cease fire' to be some sort of food. Kyuubi sweat dropped as he knows exactly what his partner-in-crime is thinking of.

"MMM! MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!" Kisame shouted… or as least tried to as he scrummed in his bonded position on the floor. After all, it's hard to move when you're tied down from your head to toes, only with a hole in your face big enough to let you breath. Itachi promptly kicked at the 'bundle' before he turns back to the others.

"While, I better be going. After all, I don't want to stay here too long… That foolish little brother will find me soon…"

"ITACHI! COME OUT! COME TO YOUR LITTLE BROTHER! I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU!" Sasuke screamed at the other side of town as he runs around brandishing a fully-charged Chidori running around and looking left and right. Behind him, just about every member of the Anbu is trying to restrain him.

"TAICHOU! HE'S TOO FAST!"

"No good, we have to use THAT tactic then." The captain, an Anbu in white cape and a mask that looks like a bear says.

"T-Taichou… you wouldn't…!" Another Anbu says as behind his mask his eyes widen.

"IT'S SUICIDE!" Another screamed as his face paled, although no one can see.

"T-truly taichou, it's not necessary…" A newly appointed Anbu says as he starts to sweat bullets.

"We have no choice… besides, it'll be worth it." The captain says before he signals for everyone to leap in front of the 'crazed' Uchiha. Once there, they form a human wall… with a few that stays away cracking their knuckles in a threatening way.

"GET OUT OF MY WAY!" Sasuke screams as he continues to charge at them.

"Hn… it's nice knowing you guys…" The captain says as every other members sniff and cries rivers of tears. "I'll see you guys in the after life… Now, on the count of three."

"One!" Sasuke is getting closer and closer as the Anbu starts to tense for what's to come.

"Two!" The ones that stay behind appear behind the Uchiha and formed another wall.

"…Gentlemen, this is it. Three! HENGE!" The captain shouts as the wall burst into smokes, stopping Sasuke in his track to as his curiosity gets the better of him. When the smoke clears, the Uchiha's jaw hits the floor, as in front of him is a wall of women… not just any women, a wall of very well endowed, NAKED, women.

"Ah… um… gah…" Sasuke blubbered a few times before he was blasted off via his own nose bleed. He landed a few meters away, twitching, as the wall of women turns back into the Anbu.

"Impenetrable wall… The Sexy Wall…" The captain says as the cloud cleared. With a glance around the place, the Anbu asses just how much damage they'd done. Every single non-Anbu male is down as every single non-Anbu female is glaring daggers at them. As for their female teammates… they're taking out their weapons…

"Hmm… I told you we'll see each other in the next life." With that said… the carnage begins.

"So everything is back to normal now." Hanabi says as she takes a sip of her tea.

"Uh-huh." Temari says with a beaming smile on her face. However, you can tell she's trying to restrain from giggling.

"And I don't need to take care of them anymore." Another sip of her tea as she finishes every last drop of it.

"Uh-huh." Kankuro mumbled with an ice pack on his head.

"So I'll be seeing you guys around." Gently puts the mug down and fold her hands into her lap.

"…hn." Gaara groaned with his arms cross in front of him.

"But first…" Hanabi says with a sweet smile, which immediately faltered into a glare. "… I need to get some weight off…"

"IIIIIEEEEEE! WE DON'T WANT HANABI-NEE-CHAN TO GO!" Naruto and Kyuubi screamed as they only latch onto Hanabi tighter, causing the Hyuuga to start a tirade while trying to pry them off.

"So it's really back to normal now?" Temari asks as she watches Hanabi pry Kyuubi off, only to have him latched onto her right arm.

"Hmm… at least for now…" Kankuro says as he shifts the ice pack to a bruise on his cheek.

"…Yes… for now… because they'll be back." Gaara says as he takes out a shade from nowhere and puts in onto his face. His siblings just look at him like he's nuts before they look at each other.

"No more terminator for you." They both say before they gets up and marched into the kitchen to prepare dinner as Hanabi continues to try (and failed) to get rid of Naruto and Kyuubi.

"Hmm… wonder how's Kisame doing…" Gaara suddenly says to no one in particular before he continues to watch the show.

"AAAACHO!" Kisame sneezed before looking at himself and wonder how he even did it.

"Got a cold?" His partner asks as he continues to stir…

"Nope… must be someone talking about me." Kisame says with a shark like grin before asking the same question that he asked for the past few minutes. "Why am I here?"

"You're here because I'm hungry."

"And how does that involves me?"

"Well…" Itachi suddenly stop stirring as he dip his finger into the soup and have a taste. "Hmm… shark fin soup… Uchiha's specialty… MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

And thus, the tortured scream of one ex-mist nin travel through the forest for many miles.

Temari: (Sweat drop) You got to be joking me… But it does taste good.

Naruto: (Take a sip) Yum… Never know sharky taste this good.

Kisame: (Bare teeth) I'll chop you in half…

Itachi: (Glance at Kisame confused) Why? I didn't exactly cook you. I just tied you down and watch me drink some shark fin soup. (Turn to APH) You know exactly what I need.

APH: Muhahahaha! Don't mentioned it. Besides, I like it a little too. (Take a sip)

Kisame: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! KA-SAN!

Tsunade: (Smack Kisame with a paper fan) QUIET! And for you information, it's not your mother.

Kisame: Then who is it? (Eyes turned big and teary)

Itachi and APH: (Look at each other and grin) It's your little sister.

Kisame: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooo… Wait, I DON'T EVEN HAVE A SISTER!

Everyone: EXACTLY!

APH: Still, sorry for the late update. I'm sure a lot of you either hate my guts, or just simply wants to kill me. But just to let you know, it's not easy to put together this chapter. I'll probably end the story soon. All I need now is just a few more ideas on how people will react to this. Let's see… I still have Sai…

Sai: …You can go to hell…

APH: …Hmm… Kabuto

Kabuto: Spare me!

APH: Orochimaru and just about everyone else in Akatsuki.

Said people: WE'RE GOING INTO HIDING!

APH: Oh, and of course, Gamabunta.

Gamabunta: YOU GOT SOME GUTS! DO YOUR WORST!

APH: If I forget anyone, feel free to tell me or e-mail me. Flames are welcome and suggestions are also welcome… just don't throw weapons at me.

Once again, I APOLOGIZE for the late update… but I'm sure this chapter sucks. I tried my best. But… I'm sure I'll be in the hospital for a while if someone manages to find me. All I need to say is this… You can hate me, you can hurt me… BUT DON'T ABONDAN ME!

Gaara: In other words, leave reviews… or I'll kill you.