Blood Brothers Ch 10
"So, since we're all here, I'll charge you the group rate, hmm?" Sam began with humorous sarcasm, sitting down at their eat in kitchen space. When he got the call, he was at the Stark's satellite workshop for the Pentagon, turning his wings for repairs. A very kind Apache helicopter pilot was nice to give him a lift from Washington to New York. When you were an Avenger, you got things and Sam decided he liked this.
"Very funny." Steve muttered and handed Sam an open beer. Rogers opened one for himself and Bucky. James looked like a wrung out dishtowel and just looked at the beer on the table.
"What's the problem? Was that mission a bit to raw?" Wilson opened after a sip of his beer. His expectation was less than a therapy session and more of a VFW meeting.
Bucky remained silent, occasionally looking up from his stare at the beer before him. Sam's flags began to raise.
"Bucky, what's on your mind?" Rogers said warmly sitting next to his friend and leaning in a little for moral support.
Barnes sat still, now staring at his hands in his lap. The two men waited patiently for his response.
Finally it came like a volcano of words from him, "Steve! You died. I watched you. I take care of you! I'm supposed to die first you stupid punk. And then I see them. I see them when I'm awake, asleep, everywhere! I …. I just can't keep going on like this. I… life… can't." The tears were flowing down his cheeks and into his five o'clock shadow. The pain in his expression was almost too much for Rogers to bear. Sam reached over and placed a box of tissues within reach. James made no effort to clean his face.
"Bucky, you know, eventually one of us is going to die first." Steve admitted and tried not to sound so fatalistic.
"And… " James hiccupped, " I thought I was ready for that."
Sam interjected, "Guys, your friendship is really something to be admired by everyone. But don't let it cripple you. Each of you have your own lives to live. And the chips may fall where they do, especially in our line of work." Both Super Soldiers looked at him, one steely eyed the other a pile of burning wreckage, "Let your friendship be your strength, your center. If you keep worrying about falling off a tight rope, you lose control and will fall. You know each other like the backs of your hands. So back off a bit and trust each other."
Bucky was openly sniffling now. Steve handed him a tissue. Sam was starting to feel a little like Dr. Phil.
"As for your Hydra nightmares, we need to have some real therapy sessions about that, not over beers." Sam commented, "But, James Buchanan Barnes-" Bucky looked up at Sam with desperately sad eyes, "You have Steve Rogers as your right hand man. You have 75% of him in you right now. You can beat this. Let him catch you."
Steve put an arm around Bucky and gave him a gentle shake, "I may be an obnoxious punk, but you're my best friend, Buck. Always have been. Always will be."
"Thanks." James sniffled not looking up at him.
Sam made one more observation, "Bucky, you are worth something. Everyone is worth something and your share is more than most."
Using his metal hand to wipe his nose, he sat up a bit, "It's just.. so hard."
"You think I'll make it any easier?" Rogers interjected.
"No you dumb punk. You never have. Ever." Barnes replied grouchily and swatted Cap's arm away.
"See. There's the Bucky we know and love." Sam smiled, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Yep, we're worse than brothers now, we're blood brothers." Cap replied.
"Till the end." Bucky responded, looking a little less wilted.
"You know it." Steve returned and gave a toast, "Till the very end."
"Amen." Sam finished and took a drink, feeling a little more secure about his two favorite vets.