Author's Note: Yes, I retconned the date. I should probably go back through the other chapters and change it but that does take a lot of effort so I'm saving that for another time. More on-topic, here we have a new chapter. Candace starts questioning herself and her actions, but will that do her any good?

Chapter Nine

Wednesday, June 30th 2037
1:30 PM
Danville
AYA-Verse

For the first hour or so after Phineas had left me at Danville Park, I just wandered around doing nothing. It wasn't so much that I didn't know where to go – I could go back to Jeremy's place, I could look Ferb up, even if from what Phineas had said earlier about him and Vanessa he might be all the way over in Washington right now. Sure, he would probably come over if I asked him to, but…

It didn't feel right. None of it did, but the idea of accepting that Phineas wasn't going to help me again stung the most. I could see why he wouldn't want to, as a bit of reflection allowed me to realize how hurt he had probably been by my words (I should really try not to get carried away too much in monologues anymore). But mentally, I wasn't prepared to just let that be the end of it. I loved Phineas, and although my main priority was to get back to the one I knew I wanted this version of him to be involved as well. I wasn't even sure why – all I knew was that I really wanted to find something inside him that would tell me that no matter how different our worlds were, he was still the same person he had always been.

It took me a long time before I finally headed back in the direction of the house that was my and Jeremy's home in this dimension. It took me some time to find it because I hadn't been paying a lot of attention to where it was in Danville this morning, not to mention that my primary orientation landmark – Flynn-Fletcher Incorporated – was gone. Vanessa's Dad's house was still there, though, and by recalling the journey we had made from Phineas' house to the school and before that from my counterpart's house to Phineas' place, I could eventually track down the place I was supposed to go to. Which of course reminded me of the fact that I had left the Johnson family car behind at Phineas' house, but I was in no mood to go and get it right now.

Jeremy wasn't home and didn't come back right away, nor did the kids. Therefore, a good deal of the afternoon was simply spent reading books and watching television, anything to take my mind of the issues at hand which I was probably not going to find a solution to on my own anyway. It worked – for a few moments, I could really imagine that I was just at a friend's house with nothing strange going on and nothing for me to do but to relax.

It didn't last long. Jeremy came home from his work at 5 PM, having apparently picked up all three of the kids from wherever they had been for most of the afternoon (I didn't dare to ask). Part of me wondered whether they had been out for normal reasons, or whether (as I feared) my outburst that morning had made Jeremy worried about me to the extent that he believed some time alone would help me. (Which it had, of course, but I didn't like the thought that I would ever be considered too fragile to handle my own kids. I knew Phineas would never do that. But perhaps I was over thinking it.)

Only when my 'husband' and the kids got home did I realize that I should probably have prepared some kind of dinner, and the fact that I hadn't earned me disappointed looks which I fortunately was able to soothe by calling a nearby fries store. But as one thing tends to lead to another and conversations can easily turn into entirely different directions, I was suddenly forced to explain to Jeremy why I needed to borrow his car keys because my car just wasn't there anymore.

I told him a modified story of what had happened that day... by which I mean that I basically just told him that Phineas and I had met up and talked about the problems I'd mentioned that morning and which I had believed he would be able to fix, but that we had an argument when discussing the past and his relationship with Isabella. At that point Jeremy grew somber, but he didn't say anything so I couldn't really draw conclusions from that. I mean, I guess my own counterpart might have raised the issue of Phineas and Isabella's marriage problems before? Either that, or Jeremy himself had noticed there was trouble in paradise. Regardless of which one it was, it proved to me that not everyone here was blind to the fact that Phineas and Isabella simply did not work together.

It really is too bad how little being right helps sometimes, though. Throughout the evening, which I spent leafing through some of my counterpart's papers and pretending to work (and in the process discovering she was a full-blown lawyer, which impressed me and which, unlike the previous discovery that she was married to Jeremy, made me a little jealous of my other self for the first time) I waited for a call from the Flynn residence. (It was odd to think that that wasn't what my own home in this dimension was called anymore.) Nothing happened. Apparently not even my car still being parked in front of the house could persuade Phineas and Isabella to contact me again. And I didn't dare to make the first move. Not yet, at least.

Fortunately, my evening wasn't entirely wasted. Although I got no closer to getting home (apart from my probably unrealistic hope that I would simply shift back overnight) I did get the opportunity to observe my counterpart's kids a little while they were doing their homework, playing a video game and watching TV. The main thing that struck me about them was how normal they were. Xavier and Fred played normal video games and watched normal TV channels, rather than inventing a machine that would have sucked them into the game or allowed them to channel their own adventures into the TV or something crazy like that. In fact, I didn't hear Xavier mentioning anything about inventing all night – and as for Fred, he didn't say much at all, apart from repeating some things his brother said. If I hadn't known for sure that he was my stepbrother, I could have sworn Fred had inherited his Uncle Ferb's genes.

Actually, I take that back. Ferb may be quiet, but he does have thoughts of his own. From what little I could see of him for now, Fred seemed at times to be almost a clone of Xavier.

As for Amanda, one thing I noticed about her was that, apart from acting mostly like the girl I knew, she acted a little irritated whenever she talked to her brothers. I wondered whether that was just coincidence, or whether it was my own bad relationship with my brother here leaking into my children's bonds with each other (or lack thereof). I decided to ask her the next morning, not wanting to talk about any of this while Jeremy was still around.

Eventually nighttime rolled around, and the time came that I once more had to share a bed with someone who wasn't Phineas (whom I hoped would forgive me for this if he ever found out and if I ever got home). And where that would have been awkward enough, the looks Jeremy gave me as I got up the stairs and was about to head to 'our' bedroom told me enough. He had noticed my unusual behavior, and he wanted to talk to me.

I got undressed, taking care that I shielded my modesty while at the same time not making Jeremy realize that I was behaving more prudishly around him than his wife should. Thereafter I tried to lay down and ignore him as much as possible. It didn't work. I could practically feel his eyes staring at my back. After a few minutes, I finally rolled over.

Jeremy looked directly at me for a few seconds, and I felt a bit of regret for how I'd treated him when I saw the discomfort and genuine concern in his eyes. "Candace," he said softly, "what's wrong?" I didn't reply. "Is that thing with Phineas still bothering you?"

"I guess" I replied, suddenly wondering whether this might be the time to get the answer to a question that had plagued me for some time. "Jeremy, do you think it's odd that Phineas and I don't have the same bond that we used to? I mean, we were pretty close when we were kids… right?"

Jeremy remained silent for a few moments. "There has certainly been more distance between the two of you over the past years than there used to be" he replied. "But that's natural, Candace. You two are grown up now, and you have your own lives. No one blames you for not being over at your brother's house all the time. He's busy with his career and his family, and so are you. I haven't seen Suzy in a few weeks either. And after all, you've never been that close when you were younger."

I flipped over to face him, puzzled. "What do you mean?"

Jeremy looked a little taken aback at my sudden prompting. "Well, you were always trying to bust him and Ferb" he said softly. "I'm not saying that you two ever actively disliked each other, but you can't deny that you were constantly working against him. That's what Dr. Baumer says, isn't it? That although you clearly loved – and still love – your siblings, the way you treated them when you got carried away in busting mode might have left negative influences in their subconscious where, even if they were oblivious or indifferent to your busting at the time, they might have gained a negative opinion of you over the years that has contributed to you two drifting apart, while you yourself were so used to seeing them as opponents in busting mode that you couldn't just see them as your loving siblings in non-busting mode anymore. In fact, I hoped earlier that the fact that you were going over to Phineas' house for the first time in a while meant that you'd finally get a chance to do what Doc Baumer suggested and really talk to him about your issues."

I was silenced for a moment, wondering what Other Candace's doctor – or was he her psychiatrist? – did and didn't know about my relationship with my brother in this universe. It certainly didn't sound right, though. Phineas had never let me trying to bust him bother him until he knew the truth about that, and although I had been annoyed with him from time to time that had never carried over into my relationship with him outside 'busting time'. We might not always have been as close then as he and Ferb had been or as he and I currently were in my own dimension, but we were close. We watched movies together, I came to him for help when I needed it… falling in love with him had added a new layer to our relationship, but it had not created a relationship from scratch.

Nevertheless, the thought that busting could have had a negative influence on our relationship in this dimension sort of did ring a bell, if I was willing to be fair about it. I didn't exactly like the thought, but… well, it was true that Phineas was mad at me when he found out I'd been trying to get him in trouble. He even broke up with me over it (well, over that and the whole thing with Isabella) and although we reconciled a few weeks later part of me could see how that event could have developed very differently if Phineas and I hadn't been dating beforehand and romance had never been a factor in our relationship. In our world, we had had a few good talks about my issues with his inventions and I had come to embrace them and be at ease with them. I accepted and admired what my brothers could do now, as part of me always had but had never been willing to admit it. If this Candace had gone from busting her brothers when she was a teenager to considering herself too old to bust when she became an adult without ever talking to Phineas (and Ferb) about why she'd always wanted to do it… well, suddenly I had a partial explanation for why she and Phineas had drifted apart in this world. In my heart I had to admit that it certainly sounded more plausible than my own wishful-thinking explanation that it was the strain of being with other people, of loving each other but being in denial about it, that had compelled this Phineas and Candace to keep their distance from each other. (Even if I wasn't fully giving up on that theory yet.) Then again, busting couldn't be the whole explanation, because if it was then why were Phineas and Ferb themselves also more distant in this world?

I noticed Jeremy was staring at me, and decided that it was probably about time for a reply. "I did want to talk to him" I said pensively. "About… a lot of things, some of them pertaining to our relationship." There, that was vague enough. "But when the subject got to Isabella, I… I said some things without thinking and I really offended him. I tried to apologize, and I could see that he wasn't really mad at me, just hurt, but he drove off nonetheless." Which was par for the course for my and Phineas' most intense fights, really. I got mad at him, while he was disappointed in and hurt by me, but he rarely ever raised his voice at me. It was one of the things which made it impossible for me to stay mad at him for long, and which meant that I often ended up deeply regretting our argument by the time the day was out.

Jeremy patted my shoulder, a mixture of what I think was resignation and understanding in his eyes. "That is rough" he replied. "Do you mind me asking what exactly the argument was about, or is it something you don't want to talk about?" I gave him a curt nod at the last bit, part of me yearning for someone to talk to about this whole mess but not feeling ready to spill the truth to Jeremy. "I see. Have you thought about what you're going to do next? Are you going to try to make it up to him, or call Ferb instead, or…"

"I don't know" I muttered. "I could probably do either. But calling Ferb for help sounds like taking the easy way out, even if he is over in Washington right now." I noticed Jeremy give me a puzzled look, which I found strange because I was certain I remembered Phineas telling me about Ferb being married to vice-president Vanessa and living in the capital. Of course he might be just on a trip somewhere, but given the estranged bonds between this family I wouldn't think Jeremy would expect me to know where my stepbrother was at all times. Then again, he was probably a well-known media figure... "What?" I asked him.

Jeremy shook his head. "It's nothing" he finally said. "I just didn't expect you to be the one dismissing the easy solution." Oops. "But you're probably right, you should talk to Phineas. You two are siblings, after all, and I would hate to see you being openly at odds with one another for so long."

I sighed. "I know, I know" I mumbled. "It's just that – " How could I explain how hard it would be for me to talk to Phineas if I couldn't explain what the issue was we'd fought over? "Well, it's complicated" I finally settled on. "Either of us is going to have to apologize, or we both have to, and I don't know if I am ready for or convinced about apologizing for what I said, and I don't even know if Phineas will want to accept my apology."

"Well, you know Phineas" Jeremy replied. "You two might have drifted apart, but I don't think he could be openly mad at you for long. If you apologize to him, I'm sure he'll accept it. He might even feel compelled to apologize in turn."

Jeremy was right, of course, and it was all the more incentive for me to go ahead and say the things I needed to say to my brother. "That's true" I said. "But you were just arguing that he might carry a grudge against me from when we were kids. What changed?"

Jeremy chuckled. "Fair point. I guess the thing is that your relationship with your brothers, and especially the one you have with Phineas, is a multi-facetted and complicated one. On one hand, I believe Phineas couldn't stay mad at you for long, but on the other, I do think that… well, a grudge might be the wrong word, but an entirely understandable lack of understanding from his side of why you did the things you did when you were young might contribute to why you're no longer talking to each other as often as you used to. But a certain degree of separation from adult siblings is normal, and Phineas has got his own life to lead, as do you. From that point of view it's natural that you're not spending as much time with each other as you used to, even if there's still room for improvement in your relationship."

I gave him a look. "Basically, you're using a lot of words to say that you don't really know what's going on either."

My counterpart's husband gave me a smile. "Perhaps. And perhaps that means that although I can argue and theorize as much as I want to, it's going to have to be you two who actually talk this out, because you're the ones involved in this. It's your responsibility, Candace, and I'm sure that on some level you understand what's going on between you and Phineas much better than I ever could."

I thought about that for a few moments and then nodded. "You're probably right," I said, unable to keep the surprise that my counterpart's husband, being out of the loop as he was, had said something which might actually help me along. "Thanks."

Jeremy grinned. "That's what husbands are for" he quipped, giving me a kiss on the cheek which didn't feel as awkward as it did the last time. Perhaps that was because it was done by someone who had been an old acquaintance before, and whom I was now beginning to consider as a possible help and supporter. As a friend.

That thought suddenly made falling asleep next to him suddenly a lot more doable.

I slept relatively well that night, although from the way the blankets were placed when I woke up I must have tossed and turned a fair bit. Perhaps to compensate for the stress I'd gone through over the last day and night, I overslept – it was just past nine when I woke up, and Jeremy was already gone. And yet, I was still tired.

The fact that I woke up at the Johnson home rather than at my own house was one I was of course disappointed by, but I tried not to dwell on it. The talk with Jeremy last night had lifted my spirits a little and assured me that things weren't that bad (yet), and I was determined to stay positive. I was going to get out of here one way or another, and I had something resembling a plan inside my head on how I was going to do that. And the first step in that scheme, apart from getting dressed and discovering Jeremy and the kids were already gone, was to call Ferb.

Like Phineas had said yesterday, it was easy to track down Ferb's phone number. Actually calling him was a different matter. What was I going to say to him? Could I just tell him the truth, like I had with Phineas? Sure, Ferb was someone whom unlike Jeremy I'd actually been close to in my home world, but he still wasn't Phineas, and although I knew Ferb would probably have the best reaction to the news of just about anyone (especially since he wasn't the one who needed to be told that he was in a relationship with his sister) I still felt reluctant about spilling the beans when I didn't have to. Perhaps that was the best approach to go at it. Tell the whole story, leave out the fact that Phineas and I were together, but tell him the full truth if he pressed the matter.

Which, as I realized just as I was making the call, undoubtedly meant that I would have to spill the beans, because someone as perceptive as Ferb was would definitely pick up on the holes in my story.

I heard the phone ring, and eventually a familiar figure appeared on the other side. Ferb looked more or less the same as I remembered him from my own world, except for the fact that he was dressed more fancily. He somehow looked more British and more formal, too. Being married to the vice-president would probably do that to a person.

My stepbrother clearly hadn't been expecting to see me, because he blinked twice. "Candace?"

"Hi" I said uneasily. "Ferb."

He was quiet, as always, so I forged on ahead. "I need your help. You may be wondering why I am calling you now and why even if I needed to seek out one of my brothers I haven't called Phineas instead, but there's a perfectly logical explanation for that." I hesitated. "Well, there's an explanation. It's probably not perfectly logical."

Ferb gave me a bemused smile, which was enough to tell me I had caught his interest. Emboldened, I proceeded. "I'm not the Candace Flynn you know. Instead, I am a version of your sister from a different dimension. In my world, Phineas is still an inventor and he has been conducting tests on getting minds of interdimensional counterparts in touch with each other. I was supposed to be the first test subject, but when we tried it out two days ago I didn't feel anything. But something must have happened anyway because I woke up in this world yesterday morning. I went to Phineas for help and he initially volunteered, but he and I had an argument about Isabella and he suggested that I should seek you out instead, so here I am."

I watched for my brother's reaction, and I was not disappointed. Ferb's eyes widened slightly and he whistled appreciatively.

"I know, it's quite a tale" I replied, feeling an odd sense of anxiety that I somehow hadn't felt when dealing with Phineas. Perhaps it was because, despite everything, Phineas had been so familiar to me that my subconscious could simply not imagine that he'd react to my news in the way he had. Not that Ferb wasn't familiar, of course, it was just… different. Phineas and I are intimate in a way that I can't imagine ever being with Ferb, in any dimension.

"It is" Ferb agreed, in a slightly lower baritone than I was used to from him. "And I would love to help you, Candace. But I'm afraid that Vanessa and my schedule is so full the next two weeks that I couldn't do it to her to leave for Danville for a prolonged period of time."

He scraped his throat, which usually was a signal that he'd said all he was going to, and I was left to ponder on his words, which were not unexpected but still a blow. "That means I'd have to make up with Phineas, then?"

Ferb nodded, but he raised an eyebrow in a curious way of which the meaning was clear as day to me – I hadn't even suggested that yet, Candace.

I didn't reply immediately, but I didn't feel like I had to, not from the way he was looking at me. Already, the cogs were turning in my brother's sharp brain. Already, he was sensing that there was something more that I wasn't telling him, something which explained why I was so preoccupied by the whole affair with Phineas and also what the row regarding Isabella was all about. Something which would tell him why I'd immediately accepted that I had to make up with Phineas rather than to try to flee into denial and stubbornness as my counterpart would no doubt have done if ensnared in a sibling spat with her brother, insisting that Ferb would have to put everything aside to come and help because she would not face Phineas. I had been right about it earlier – he would figure out the truth, given enough time.

Usually, however, Ferb would have said something by now. Not much (he wouldn't be Ferb if he'd said a lot) but just a few words indicating that he was onto me and that I couldn't evade him finding out. This Ferb didn't say anything, though, he just… stared. It was very unnerving.

"I'm a bit reluctant to talk to Phineas again… even though I know I have to, and I'd probably feel better afterwards" I eventually explained after about twenty seconds of Ferb staring unwaveringly at me. "He isn't married to Isabella in our world, and he and I got into a discussion of why that could be, and in the process of the discussion I might have said some things about their relationship that hurt him."

There. That covered all bases. It was the truth, evaded the main question but explained the matter very clearly, in my mind at least. Unfortunately Ferb disagreed. He stared at me and shook his head in bemused non-acceptance for a few moments, and then he clearly nodded in my direction. I think I got what he meant – what about me in all this? Why had I intervened against Phinbella in such a big way, when it didn't involve me? For a moment, I wondered at which point in this dimension he had become such a good lie detector, and I wondered whether Phineas' earlier talk about magic held some credence after all. How else would a person get to know to read people so well?

And then I remembered his wife was a politician, and it all made sense again.

I sighed. "You're right. That's not the whole story. The thing of it is, well…" I searched his eyes for a moment, gauging his mood, and then added, "don't freak out about this but in my world, Phineas and I are a couple?"

Ferb blinked, showing no other outwards sign of disturbance, but Isabella had told me that that was sometimes when his inner turmoil was at its fiercest. "That is creepy on so many levels."

I sighed. "I know it's… unusual, Ferb, and that it definitely sounds insane. But it happened in our world, and I could tell you lots of stories about how much I love Phineas and how I fell in love with him, but I'm a little tired of having to justify myself at every turn and that really isn't the point right now."

Ferb sighed, not meeting my eyes. "Candace, you realize all the reasons why this is a phenomenally bad idea, don't you?"

"Of course!" I exclaimed. "Of course I realize all the reasons why this could have been a bad idea, I think I voiced all of them myself when Phineas first said how he felt about me, but this wasn't some overnight decision! Well, I guess if you want to get technical it was an overnight decision, but I certainly put a good deal of thought into it, then and thereafter. We've been together for twenty-odd years now, we have kids, we… we're happy!"

Ferb briefly raised an eyebrow, but his expression didn't change. It was obvious that he was unconvinced.

"Look, I don't know what else to say to convince you" I said in frustration. "I know why this sounds nuts, I know that on paper it's a horrible idea, but I love Phineas and he loves me. He fought for this relationship, I f…" I frowned, noticing for the first time that Ferb was gradually shuffling away from the screen. "Ferb! Get back here!" I sighed. "I know, I know. I know what you're thinking about me, but this is not the point, it's about me and Isabella and what happened between us and whether and how we should solve that."

Ferb gave me a 'very well' look, but his expression remained ominous. "Candace?" he said gently - probably too gently. "In the light of your discussion with my brother about his love for Isabella, how confident are you really about your relationship with your world's Phineas?"

Ferb had rarely been in the habit of sugarcoating things – he probably considered it to be a waste of words – so this bombshell hit right on target. I opened my mouth to immediately reply that his insinuations were ridiculous, that my Phineas certainly wasn't interested in Isabella and never had been and that he was showing how misinformed he was about our world if he thought that, but…

… what if he had a point?

Not about the Isabella part, of course, because I could be completely confident about that not being an issue from the way those two interacted, but about how insecure I was about our relationship in general. I had been awfully upset by discovering the truth of what had happened in this reality. And I had also been awfully ferocious in defending my choices after that. Of course part of that was natural, a logical reaction to how different things were here.

But I'm sure Phineas wouldn't have done that.

So what if…

I'd taken a major decision twenty years ago. Of course a large part of why I took it was due to my love and affection for Phineas, which I'd always felt. But how large a part of me wanted to believe – was desperate to believe – that there had simply been no other choice? That it was destiny, fate, whatever you wanted to call it, that brought us together…

… and did that belief, so shaken by my arrival in this world, mean that I was desperate to find the flaws in the relationships in this world, even to the cost of antagonizing everyone? All just to prove that the incestuous relationship I had entered, the relationship that had brought me a lot but also cost me a lot, was still my best option and I shouldn't doubt it… because deep in my heart, a small part of me was ready to do so?

I looked up at my stepbrother, and found out that for what had to be one of the few times in our relationships, I was the one who no longer had anything to say.