Santana was jolted into consciousness Monday morning by the sound of her alarm clock going off. She fumbled around her nightstand, banging the general area of where the offending time piece was, and when she found it, she threw it across the room where it still continued to alert her that it was time to wake up. She groaned as she threw her blankets back and swung her legs from the bed, getting up to turn the damn thing off, and with eyes still mostly closed, moved to the other side of the room and picked up the clock, which her sister had to regularly cover in bubble wrap because the Latina has had a tendency to hurl her alarms since puberty hit. She was not the brightest of people when just waking up. In disposition and intelligence, especially, like today, when she hadn't had enough sleep. She growled at the clock and shook it, then eventually remembered that she had to press a button to make it be quiet. When the silence came she sighed and plodded to the bathroom to carry out her morning hygiene routine.
After having her shower she left the room and mumbled a "Morning" at her sister as they passed each other while she made her way back to her bedroom and once inside she collapsed on the bed for a few minutes until she felt she was awake enough to use her hairdryer. Otherwise, God knows what would happen. By the time she'd got downstairs and had poured herself some orange juice and a bowl of cereal she was mostly awake, but still pretty grumpy, then she went into the living room, turned the TV on, going straight to the News channel, opened up her laptop to check over her homework that she'd stayed up until one in the morning doing, and satisfied that it was at least adequate, she printed it off.
When she checked her emails her inbox was fuller than usual, and apart from the one she had most days about granny porn, they were all from her Glee-mates, well, seven of them. She'd manage to convince a large portion of them to not take this last Glee assignment seriously, all except Jesse and Finn agreed. Quinn and Rachel she didn't ask. When her pregnant friend had made her listen to the song she was going to perform today, she outwardly gagged, but inside she was all 'Awww.' it was obviously about Rachel, and very fitting. So Santana decided to convince the group to do idiotic songs, not that the Diva wouldn't get that Quinn's song was about her, but just to make sure, why not make the rest of the songs sound completely ridiculous. But if it could fit into a general thankful theme, then all the better. The emails she'd received were their song choices and they seemed to have entered into the spirit of it. Today was going to be fun.
From the kitchen she could hear Izzy having a very one sided conversation with their cat about how much food he eats, then a thud sound, followed by "You little bugger." Her sister was especially British first thing in the morning.
She gave a small snort and relaxed, turning her attention to the TV. Sometimes she would try and put something on that wasn't News, because it was always the same old story. Bad stuff, followed by more bad stuff, with the occasional lighthearted piece about a parrot rescuing its owner from a burglar or something, but that was rare, and the parrot usually died. The problem was, whenever she changed the channel to something more entertaining, Izzy would just change it back to News.
Adults. Why did they feel the need to keep themselves informed of world events?
"Morning Ana. I haven't seen you in days."
Santana looked over at her sister who had just sat down next to her, and was nursing a cup of coffee. "Been at Rachel's."
"Berry's?" Izzy asked, confused.
"Yeah. Quinn's living there now. Didn't I mention that I'd helped her move? Again."
"You didn't, no. Did the Puckerman's throw her out or something?"
"Nothing like that. Rachel wants to take care of her; Quinn wants to be taken care of by her. It's pretty symbiotic."
"Is something going on between them?"
Santana laughed. "Not yet. But if I have anything to do with it, there will be. I'm going bring them together in perfect, loving union. Even if it kills me."
"Well alright then. Glad you've got yourself a hobby."
"Mmm." Santana said distractedly as she put a bid on an eBay item. "I have to do it. If left to her own devices, Quinn'll just moon over the girl until it's too late. And the next thing you know, they're in the ever dreaded 'friend zone' and that'll be a giant waste. Seriously, the next time you see them, look at how cute they are together. They're meant to be."
"I'll take your word for it." Izzy said dubiously. "I try not to get involved in high school escapades. You teenagers are bloody crazy." The older sibling said taking a sip of her coffee. "By the way, Dad asked if we were going to his birthday party this week."
"Did you tell him 'No fuck off, go celebrate with your other family you abandoning son of a bitch, I'm glad you're getting older, it means you're closer to death.'"
"If by that you mean 'Sure we'll pop in for an hour.' Then yeah."
"I'm not going. You can't make me." Santana said crossing her arms.
"I can." Izzy stated, arching an eyebrow.
"No you can't. You're not the boss of me."
"Yes I am. I have legal documentation that says so." The older sibling said with a brief smirk, then sighed. "Look, we won't stay long. Just enough to show our faces, say hello to the other family who we don't really care about, then we can go do something. Just us. Like we always do."
Santana hated when her sister used reasoning on her. It was so hard to fight. "Yeah, okay." She mumbled.
"Thanks." Izzy said, putting her mug down on the table and leaned over to the young Latina to kiss her on top of the head.
"Yeah, yeah." She said with a dismissive flourish of her hand.
When the wind chimes jingled indicating the back door had been opened, Izzy got up, and a few seconds later Brittany walked into the room, taking a seat next to the Latina. This was another of the morning routines. The blonde would walk in at twenty five to eight every school morning, sometimes weekends if she forgot, and Izzy would make her a cup of sweet tea. This had been happening since they were twelve and Brittany's Mom first let her walk the couple of streets to their house on her own.
"Do you know what song we're singing today? I was thinking we do Dancing Queen or Take A Chance On Me."
"Been watching Mamma Mia again B?"
"Yeah. How did you know? We could do Thank You For The Music. That's ABBA too, and it's about being thankful." The blonde paused for a moment. "For the music. And we're in Glee, that's all about music. Are we doing that?"
Santana hadn't really thought about what song they were going to do. She did think about something with lots of swear words, but Mr. Schuester would have that annoying disappointed face, and then lecture her for an hour. But Brittany being excited about the song pretty much made up her mind, and it is a catchy song. Why didn't they do ABBA in Glee? Those Swedes know how to compose a happy pop song. "Yeah B, we're doing that."
"Awesome!"
Izzy walked back in with a Kermit the Frog cup and handed it over to the blonde. "There you go Brittany."
"Thanks."
"So I have a question." The older sister said as she sat back down. "At what point do you think Quinn'll be too pregnant to play that stupid named gamed you three play?"
"While Rachel is jumping around, cheering her on? Who knows!"
"Well if Rachel's in your circle of friends now, why don't you think about training her up for a replacement?"
"That'd be fun S, we've never played with four and playing with two sucks."
"Yeah. I'll ask her later. Why are you taking such an interest anyway?"
"You're my little sister, I care."
"Oh, I get it. You like having the house to yourself for an hour before you leave for work."
"I have to deal with teenagers all day, so what if I want some alone time? Plus I've got used to you not being here for that hour now."
"You're the fool who chose to be a teacher. At my school." Santana added with a scowl.
"I'd say it's to keep an eye on you and make sure you don't get up to mischief. But honestly I don't care. There of plenty of responsible adults at the school to do that."
"Since when? They can be worse than the students."
"Hmm. You have mentioned that Will Schuester can be inappropriate sometimes. Maybe I should come in as co-director of that No Directions of yours."
"Don't you dare!" Santana warned.
"Is that what we're called now?" Brittany asked with a confused look. "I liked our other name better."
"Don't listen to Isobel, she made a joke but forgot the funny." Santana stood up, throwing her bag over her shoulder and putting her sub-par homework inside. "You ready B?"
"Yeah."
"See you at school Miss Lopez." Her sister said with a grin.
"Yeah." The young Latina replied and stuck out her tongue.
They got to school a little later than normal because she was still tired and had to stop on the way to get some Red Bull. By the time they arrived at the gym, the two other girls were already there waiting.
When Quinn started hanging out with Rachel she thought the smaller blonde had totally lost her mind. Stuff like that happened to pregnant women all time. But it didn't take long for her to realize that Quinn was happy when she was with Diva, and if that was the case, then she would have to ease up on her abuse on the smaller brunette. However, what she hadn't counted on was that spending time with the little one would affect her too. She wasn't sure what confused her more, the fact that her urge to punch Rachel in the face repeatedly seemed to have completely disappeared, or that she actually liked spending time with the tiny mental case.
She tried to suppress a smile at the sight of the two of them holding hands, but failed, and had to make it look like smirk when they saw her and Brittany walk in.
"Ladies." She acknowledged as she put he bag on the floor, pulled out one of the energy drinks and cracked it open. She downed the entire contents in one go, then belched long and loud. "Uch, tastes like feet." She said pulling a face.
"You're going to regret drinking that." Quinn said with a laugh. "You do remember what that stuff does to you right? It's like crazy-anxiety in can."
"I'm sure I'll be fine."
"Famous last words."
"Whatever Juno." She turned to face the Diva. "Rachel. How do you feel about learning to play this game?"
"I would love to. I still have no idea what's going on. Every time I think I have it figured out, someone does something to abolish my theories. I was hoping someone would explain the rules of play to me, because it does look like a lot of fun. Quinn? Do you mind?"
"No. More the merrier."
"B will teach you. Of all of us she has the best understanding of it." Santana looked at Rachel expectantly. "Go on then." And the Diva beamed at her, jumped up and bounded over to Brittany. Santana took a seat next to Quinn, and watched the two girls.
Both Quinn and Rachel seemed different now, and even though she wasn't prone to romanticizing things, the only reason she could come up with was that they complimented each other. They brought out all the positive attributes of each others personalities, and quashed the negative ones. That was probably one of the signs of soul mates right? Well, no matter what it was, they were both fun to be around now.
She straightened up and turned her attention to her pregnant friend. "So I've decided to change Finn's name to Fudson."
"Why?" Quinn asked with amusement.
"So the rhyme works."
"What rhyme?"
"I am a little brain cell, I live in Fudson's head. It's so dark and lonely here, coz all my friends are dead."
"That's a bit harsh don't you think?" Quinn asked, but the chuckle betrayed her words.
"Not really. I can think of meaner things to say than that."
"I know you can. Why the sudden verbal dislike of him anyway?"
"Why not? He's an asshole. Think about how he's treated Rachel. I can't decide whether he actually likes her but is so caught up in how he's perceived by the popular boys he doesn't really want to be seen with her too often. Or, he just likes having his very own fangirl around. Why aren't you being more unpleasant towards him? Is it because you still feel guilty about the lying to him for month's thing? He's still sniffing around her you know? You really want him to have more of a chance with her than you when the whole Jesse thing comes to an end? Which it will. And whose shoulder do you want her crying on huh? Yours or his? If you want to get the girl then you need to step it up bitch. Because in ten years when you've both finished college and have sorted out your respective careers and such, you'll get married and I'll be your best man and it'll be awesome. What do you think about that?"
"O-Kay." Quinn said slowly. "I told you it was a bad idea drinking the whole can of Red Bull."
"You told me it was a bad idea, after I'd drunk it. So yeah, thanks for that hindsight girl."
"You're welcome."
Santana was silent for a few seconds as her brain decided which one of the many, many thoughts that were going through her head she was going to say out loud. "I got another rhyme: There was a young girl named Fabray, who had an unfortunate roll in the hay. She got totally pregnant… And I can't think of a rhyme for that. And now she's in love with a dwarf."
"Kind of fell apart there at the end."
"Little bit, yeah."
When Rachel and Brittany came over taking a seat on the bench in front of them, Santana stared at them a moment before speaking. "Don't tell me you've learned it already?" She asked with some skepticism. "It's been like, a minute."
"A minute is all I needed." Rachel said smiling. "I feel like I've finally been told the meaning of life."
Quinn laughed. "The meaning of life is an elaborate game of catch we made up? Holy crap, we're good."
"Hell yeah!" The Latina shouted. "You know what we should do now? Start a cult based on the game, and preach to all the gullible sheep out there and persuade them to give us all their money."
"Oh good lord." The pregnant blonde exhaled. "It's going to be a long day."
"Probably." Santana agreed.
For a large part of the morning, Santana mostly just dipped in and out of what was going on. Thankfully she was set in a routine so she could easily go through the motions. During her daily meeting with Coach Sylvester she was thinking about how she needed a plan to get Quinn and Rachel together, the problem was, the only person she could think of who would be able to actually think up a foolproof and detailed plan was the Diva. Which was really inconvenient. When she did zone into what Sue was saying, she regretted it when the words, "And that's why I hire a six foot four Dutch man named Marnix to walk up and down my back three times a week." assaulted her ears. After that she stopped listening.
Cheerleading practice itself was a blur. She wondered, as she got to the top, why the hell people were so entertained by human pyramids. And why did she put herself through this crap. Then remembered that colleges love this shit.
By the time it got to the free period before lunch, the energy drink had worn off and she was back to being tired and her eyes were all scratchy. The four of them were in the library, and were sitting at the table furthest away from the librarian. The Diva pulled out a small white bottle of paracetamol and Quinn quickly snatched the container away from the smaller brunette and opened it, checking the contents. When she was satisfied, she handed it back.
"Just making sure." The pregnant girl joked. "As cute as you are when you're high, you're also a handful."
Rachel laughed. "Sorry."
"Whoa. Back the truck up. When were you high?" Santana asked.
"Couple of weeks ago. There was a Vicodin mix up and I spent many hours being very confused. Quinn took care of me."
Santana snorted. "Of course she did."
"I'm a carer." The blonde said narrowing her eyes at a smirking Latina, then turned back to Rachel. "And thanks to you, I keep having weird dreams about Devil Sue fighting Brad in the auditorium for the domination of humanity. She never wins, so that's good."
"Why would that be her fault?" The Latina pointed at the Diva.
"Among the few things I remember saying and doing that day, one of them was thinking that maybe, due to some bizarre thought process, that Brad was actually God."
"She kept calling him Brod." Quinn added with a broad smile.
"That's pretty funny, I wish I'd seen that." She smiled at the Diva. "Why were you taking painkillers though?"
"I get headaches in Chem. Class. I assume it's the chemicals that do it."
"Makes sense." Santana nodded. "So Q…"
"Yes?"
"Puck and I have been discussing your seventeenth."
"And?" The blonde asked with a frown.
"We've decided to make it fancy dress and it just be Glee club, because you're not friends with most of the people you were last year, and you don't have legal access to your parents house."
"No."
"You don't want to spend your birthday with your Glee friends?"
"No to fancy dress."
"Not negotiable."
"What the hell am I going to dress as?" Quinn asked waving her hands erratically around her stomach. "I look like a beached whale."
"I've thought about that. You and Rachel will be early season five Xena and Gabrielle."
"That's weirdly specific."
"Well she was pregnant in season five." Santana saw Rachel's hand shoot up and she rolled her eyes. "Yes?"
"Why can't I be Xena?" The Diva asked with the hint of a pout.
"Because," Quinn began, looking at her with a smile. "I'm like ten feet taller than you."
"That's an exaggeration." The smaller brunette said, keeping her pout.
"Only just." Santana laughed. "Are you still dead against the fancy dress now?"
"No, I suppose not." Quinn sunk into her seat and gave Santana a curious look. "When do you plan on having this party? And where are we going to get those costumes?"
"Saturday, and your outfits have already been arranged."
"That's very organized of you."
"I know." She said smugly.
She picked up Quinn's notebook and started flicking through the pages and noticed that all the horrible pictures of Rachel had disappeared, which actually made the book considerably thinner. She knew that the blonde had many notebooks, and she had the decency to not look through the other ones, except maybe the one with her dreams in, and given Quinn's repressed upbringing, some of them were not at all surprising, if not completely messed up. She stopped when she came to a picture of what looked like a cute demon, wearing some sort of robe and chewing on a chain that was around its neck. "Who the fuck is Mayor Charlie?" The pregnant girl snatched the book back from her, and then thumped her on the head with it. "Ow." The Latina frowned and stuck out her bottom lip. "No need for that."
"Please. You're the most hard headed person I know." The smaller blonde smirked.
"Yeah I am. So who's Charlie? Ow!"
"None of your business." The smaller blonde held up the book threateningly.
"Okay. Who is he?" Santana dodged the next attack with a laugh.
"Did you bring your toys with you?" Brittany asked Rachel.
"No, but I think it's gone passed that point now."
When the free period came to an end, Quinn and Brittany left to go to the choir room for lunch, and Santana had been ordered to keep an eye on Rachel while she was meeting Jesse. She was currently leaning against her locker a few feet away from the Diva, with an air of casualness, pretending to inspect her nails. From the corner of her eye she could see Finn watching the very awkward interaction between the smaller brunette and her boyfriend and she pushed herself off from the bank and strutted over to him.
"Aww, what's the matter Finnocence? Jealous that you're constantly bested by the bi-curious boyfriend of the girl you thought you were too good for?"
The tall boy spun around and scowled. "What's your damage Santana?" He snarled.
She grinned mirthlessly at his attempt at intimidation. "Nothing."
"What's going on with you three and Rachel?"
"We're friends."
"Bull!" His voice getting lower and a vein popping out of his forehead.
"No. Not bull. Unlike you, the three of us have seen that she's actually a nice person underneath all of her, general everything-ness, and we have fully committed to a friendship. Quinn moved in to her house this weekend. Did you know that?"
"You're lying."
"No. I'm not." She said evenly, her mood becoming darker with his anger. "I think she's realized that your way of friendship was shitty. Because your pattern of, be an asshole, be an asshole, be an asshole, then apologize, actually wasn't how it should be."
"You're a bitch.
"And you're a pathetic weasel with beady eyes. It bothers me that you're someone who thinks more of his reputation than stick up for anyone he claims to care about in case it hinders that precious rep." She growled. "You're a whiny little boy who desperately wants to be the Alpha Male, which is laughable, and in a nutshell, I hate your face."
She stormed off in the direction of the Diva, not knowing if she and Jesse were having a private conversation or not. Regardless of her outward persona, she had insecurities like most people her age, and what she'd just said to the football captain was not good and she needed to be near someone she was comfortable with to project that she didn't care that she just pissed off one of the most powerful students of the school.
"Hey." She said to the back of Rachel's head.
The singer turned to face her with a relieved smile. "Hi."
"We were in the middle of a conversation Santana." Jesse frowned.
Jesse St. James may be a ponce, and she was often tempted to mess up that perfect hair of his, but the one thing she could say about him was that he does have a nice voice. Much better than Finn's, it was smoother and sounded professional. He also didn't look like he was constipated while he was performing like the uncoordinated tall boy did.
But he was still a spy.
"Guess you're not anymore." She shrugged. And Rachel, who was still facing her, gave her a smile that said she knew she shouldn't have found that funny, but she did.
He blew out exasperatedly and shook his head. "We'll finish this later Rachel." And he walked off.
"That sounded, not good."
"No. It wasn't." Rachel rolled her eyes. "He doesn't understand why Quinn moved in, or how I forgot to tell him."
"Did you tell him that you forgot because you were having a good time with cooler people than him?"
"No. He probably wouldn't appreciate that."
"Dump him. You don't need someone who doesn't understand that they aren't needed."
"There isn't exactly a multitude of people out there who are prepared to date me." The singer sighed.
Santana felt a pull inside. This giving a shit about people made her feel bad, and she wanted to fix it. She draped an arm around the smaller shoulder and guided her towards the choir room to meet up with the other two friends. "You don't need many. You just need one. There's someone out there for everyone, even crazies like you. You might have to wait years to meet them, or they could be right here in front of you and you don't know it yet. I already told you that you deserve better, so why are you just settling? I am very wise, you should listen to me Short... Rachel."
The Diva laughed. "You've been doing so well not calling me names. I'm surprised you managed not to slip until now."
"I didn't slip!" She said in mock outrage. "I merely preceded your name with your height. I'm average Santana, and that," She said as she opened the door. "is tall Brittany."
"A likely story." Rachel snorted as she took a seat next to Quinn.
The two blondes looked confused, but didn't question the tail end of the conversation, and she took a seat on the piano bench next to the other cheerleader, playing a few notes. Then the image of Brad being God came back to her and she started laughing.
She really shouldn't consume energy drinks, they made her have wicked mood swings.
By the time Glee came around she was feeling considerably more human, and was back to her usual, consistently aloof faux personality. The four of them were sitting on back seats and Quinn was currently being interrogated by Mercedes and Kurt.
"When did this happen?" The other self proclaimed Diva asked with some distaste.
"Friday." Quinn answered with annoyance.
"I meant you four being friends."
"It's a prank isn't it?" Kurt said knowingly.
"Why does everyone think that?" The ex Cheerio snapped. She stood up and went to the centre of the room and faced the crowd. "You all need to stop asking me about this. No, this is not a prank. Yes, I now live with Rachel. She's also going to be my birth partner. If anyone has a problem with this, even though it's none of your business, then tough. I don't care." She grunted as she lumbered back to her seat, leaving a large portion of the group dumbfounded, and Santana felt very proud of her.
Mr. Schuester strolled into the room, placing his satchel on the piano and turned to his students. "Is everyone ready for their assignment?" There was a chorus of yes' and he smiled at what he assumed was enthusiasm. "So who would like to go first?"
Artie wheeled himself out next to the teacher and gave the man a smile. "I will."
The teacher looked over to Rachel, like he was expecting some sort of objection, and when it didn't come he walked off to the side and took a seat. "Okay Artie, away you go."
For the most part, Santana didn't really give much thought to Artie. It wasn't that she disliked him; she just never really spent that much time with him. Even in Glee they were all separated into different groups, and her clique and his rarely overlapped. His was the only song that wasn't a comical choice, but it was a song she liked and when he started singing his rendition of Happy Together, and he was directing it at Tina, she couldn't help but like him for his romantic nature.
Next up was Puck, somehow he'd managed to find a song about porn and she wasn't the least bit surprised. She and Brittany volunteered next, and when everyone joined in, she came to the conclusion that resistance of ABBA is futile. Matt and Mike did a strangely entertaining version of Blah Blah Blah, Mercedes did Milkshake, Kurt did Diamonds Are a Girls Best Friend and Tina's choice was Supergirl.
When Jesse took centre stage, she knew if anyone was going to give Quinn's song a run for its money when it came to winning Rachel over, it would be this guys. His slow version of Love Is Strange got the Diva swaying and she was annoyed at herself for liking it too. It was a good thing that, even though he was talented, he didn't have a particularly magnetic stage presence.
Rachel sung Shining Light, and Santana wasn't sure if it was about Quinn, because it wasn't exactly a plutonic song, and if it was about Finn or Jesse, then the Diva needed a serious talking to, or shouting at.
Finn performed You And Me and stood right in front of the smaller brunette, who seemed more interested in some invisible lint on her skirt, than him, and when he was finished Rachel visibly relaxed.
"You didn't enjoy Finn serenading you?" She asked.
"No, that was very awkward."
"Quinn." Mr. Schuester called out. "You're our last performer. Are you ready?"
"Yes Sir." She got up and took a seat on a stool by the piano, and then Puck picked up his guitar, turned the spotlight on while turning the main light off, and stood next to her.
The Latina felt a prod on her arm and she turned to the Diva. "What?"
"Do you know what she's going to sing?"
"Yeah."
"What is it?"
"Have some patience. She'll be starting any second. In fact, by the looks of it, she's waiting for us to finish this conversation."
"Oh." Rachel said sheepishly. "Sorry."
"She'll forgive you." She whispered.
When the guitar started playing, Rachel leaned forward, resting her elbows on her legs and put her chin in her hands. She was already enthralled. The Diva did know more songs than the whole room put together, and Santana caught a sweet smile from the smaller girl, so she guessed that the song had been recognized. Quinn had her eyes closed as she sang Kind and Generous, but even though she barely moved and wasn't looking at the person she was directing the song at, the pregnant girl still had what the two boys didn't. She put her heart on her sleeve and everyone in the room could feel she meant every word, and she did it without making an embarrassing grand gesture.
The happy sigh Rachel let out when the song was done spoke volumes to Santana and Quinn sported a ridiculously goofy smile as she took her seat to the sound of applause.
"Well done Quinn." Will Schuester said as he clapped his hands together. "At least some of you took the assignment seriously. Maybe this week's won't be such a task." He walked up to the whiteboard and wrote 'Duets' in red pen.
"Urgh. Again?" Santana asked.
"Yes Santana. Again. It'll be names from a hat like last time, Jesse excluded as he won't be here next week. So when I call your name, please make your way up here." He pulled out a sheet of paper and a small cardboard box from his bag. "Quinn, Brittany, Santana, Puck, Artie and Kurt. Please join me." He started ripping the paper he had into small squares, then folded them and put them in the box, giving it a quick shake. He stood in front of Quinn and she swirled her hand around, Santana was convinced she was trying to do a spell that would make her pull out Rachel. It didn't work. The pregnant girl smiled politely as she read out the name Mike, and she went to sit next to him.
Next he stood in front of Brittany and she bit her lip as she put her hand in the box. "Matt." She said, and bounced off to sit next to the football player. When he got to her, Santana was worried. There was a one in four chance she'd pick Finn, and that would be hell. She kept her cool and gave the teacher a forced smirk as she rammed her hand inside. In her head she repeated 'Not Finn, not Finn, not Finn.' And when she pulled out the name she wanted to cry with happiness. "Rachel." She said and went to sit next to the girl.
Once the rest of the pairs were read out; Kurt was with Tina, Puck was with Mercedes and Artie with Finn, and they were all seated with their partners, Mr. Schuester wrote on another sheet of paper, ripping that up and putting the pieces into the box. He walked up to Finn and offered the container to the boy. "Don't read out the name Finn." Will said before the tall boy had a chance to say anything. When the teacher had gone around the rest of the pairs, he put the box down on the piano and explained that, rather than choosing their own song they were going to be choosing for whichever pair they'd just picked out. The theme was music from a soundtrack.
For privacy, everyone went to find an empty room. Santana and Rachel ended up in Izzy's class, and the Latina picked up a pen and started defacing the board with caricatures of her sister.
"Santana you really shouldn't do that."
"Why not?"
"Other than how offensive that is to Miss Caffrey, we are in here for a reason."
She wondered whether or not to tell Rachel yet about their maths teacher being her sister, but decided now was not the time. She would do it eventually, but years of keeping it a secret made her wary. "Okay, okay. You haven't shown me who we pulled out." She said taking a seat next to the other girl.
"Finn and Artie."
"Seriously? Oh my God! That's amazing." She jumped in her chair with excitement.
"You're planning on making them sing something inappropriate aren't you?"
"No. Not inappropriate, just something that widens their musical talent. It'll be an essential lesson. The more genres of music we, as a group can perform, the greater the chance we have at crushing any competition we have at regionals. You want us to win don't you?"
"You know I do." Rachel pursed her lips for a second. "Not that I'm agreeing to this, but what songs were you thinking?"
"Something... by the Spice Girls."
"Well," Rachel laughed. "It would be amusing to see just how much they Wanna Zigazig Ha. Are any of their songs used in a film?"
"Yeah. Spice World. Izzy has it on VHS, she doesn't know I know. She has it hidden in her wardrobe. You're not going to let me do it are you?"
"No. It'll just antagonize Finn." The smaller girl said, almost apologetically.
"Jeez, what do you see in him? I mean yeah, he's good looking, but there are plenty of better looking guys out there. You're an intelligent girl who likes to be challenged once in a while, and he's about as challenging as a bowl of cold custard. What he lacks in brains, he makes up for by being a complete tosspot."
Rachel starred at her with a surprised look for a while, and then asked, "What's a tosspot?
"Someone who is not very nice."
"Okay. You may be happy to know that I gave a lot of thought to the similar speech about Finn that you gave me on Saturday, and I couldn't really find any points that I disagreed with. So I would have to say, that I am no longer interested in him."
"Really? Because of what I said?"
"Yes."
"Wow. And I didn't have to use violence."
"Well done."
She gave the Diva a smile. "What song are we going to pick for them then?"
"Something from a boy film."
"Eye of the tiger. I'm sure that won't get Finn's panties in a twist."
"That might be an enjoyable song for them."
"Excellent. We can get out of here now." Before she left, Santana wrote 'You ate all the PI' on the board.
By the time they got back to the choir room, everyone was already there and Rachel gave Mr. Schuester their song choice and took her seat. Santana listened to the teacher read out the songs and was surprised that people had been so restrained. She and Rachel were going to do I Love Rock N' Roll, and she had to admit that was a sweet pick.
"We need to start practicing tonight." She told Rachel seriously.
"Why? We have a whole week."
"Yeah, we had a whole week for the last assignment, when did you finally decide on what song you were going to do?"
"This morning."
"Exactly. We have to kick ass next week, we'll go straight to mine after we finish here."
"Why can't we practice at my house?" The Diva huffed.
"Because. You have too many things to distract me at your house."
"Okay then. At least now I can meet your sister."
"No you won't. She's out until nine."
After Glee club was done, and Brittany and a sulky Quinn said goodbye, Santana had to go and get some things from her locker and text Izzy to not come home too early from her book club. As she rounded the corner she saw Finn talking to Rachel.
"… but I don't understand why you did it." The tall boys' brow was creased in confusion. She chuckled quietly to herself; he was clearly trying very hard to work something out.
"I did it because she deserves to be somewhere she's welcomed, and comfortable. And she's my friend."
"Since when have you been friends?" He asked with a hint of anger, moving closer to the brunette.
Rachel stepped back and crossed her arms over her chest. "Well, it's still technically in its infancy but it's been long enough to know that we are friends,"
"No you're not! She's been a bitch to you for years, she's playing with you. That's what she does; she can't like you for real."
Santana was about to step in but the Diva had her serious game face on, which only meant a serious rant was coming.
"You don't think she could like me?" Rachel shouted. "Because who could possibly enjoy my company? Quinn may not have been the nicest person in the past, but she has always been consistently honest with how she feels about me. I have known where I stood with her, which can't be said for you." The brunette poked the boy in the chest. "You have absolutely no say in how I spend my time, and who I spend it with. My friendship with Quinn is none of your business."
Santana grinned as she watched Finn standing silently for a few moments. "If you're friends with her, then you're not friends with me." He snarled.
"You're giving me an ultimatum?" When he said nothing and frowned again Rachel sighed. "You're making me choose?" She corrected.
"Yes!"
"Then I choose her." The brunette huffed and walked away from him in true Diva style.
Santana wondered if her friend realized she was storming off in the wrong direction, but you had to appreciate a good scene. She waited until Rachel was out of view and then ran down the corridor, passed Finn, ignoring anything he had to say, and tried to make it to the car before Rachel did. She didn't want her to know she'd heard the conversation. She opened the door to the drivers' side and started the car. Rachel got there a couple of minutes later.
"Take your time Berry, we got all day."
"Sorry, I got waylaid. I'll give you one free pass a day."
"What?"
"You didn't call me Rachel."
"Damn it."
The smaller girl chuckled. "I'm ready when you are."
She was glad to get home, if only because Rachel spent the entire journey searching the radio stations, and failed to pick one and stay with it. When she walked through the back door, she dropped her bag on the counter and went to the fridge, taking out two bottled waters and handed one to Rachel.
"Thanks." The smaller girl said.
"No problem." She went back in to the fridge and pulled out an oven dish with tin foil around it; taking off the note attached and turned the oven on. "I have to get dinner ready." She said glancing at the other girl.
"Okay."
She put the dish in the oven and took a swig of her water. "Just put your stuff on the table, and we'll go upstairs."
"Okay."
Rachel was being far too quiet, and she didn't like it. She didn't look upset though. "Are you alright?"
"Yes." The Diva smiled. "You have a very nice kitchen. It feels very warm."
"The oven's on." She said, pointing to the appliance.
"No, I mean the colour and the general atmosphere."
"Oh. Well thanks. Shall we head upstairs now?"
"Yes, certainly."
Once they were in her room, Rachel took a seat at the computer desk, and Santana flung her wardrobe doors open.
"We need to give you a makeover." She said eyeing the Diva's usual too short skirt, knee high socks and argyle sweater.
"Why?"
"Because you can't do Joan Jett wearing that. Or at least some of that."
"So what do you suggest then?"
"Hang on." Santana pulled out her favourite skinny black tee and handed it to the smaller girl.
Rachel looked at the writing on the faded top, and frowned. "I am not wearing that!"
"Why not?" Santana asked innocently.
"Because it says 'Lick Like You Mean It Bitch' and that is inappropriate attire for Glee."
The Latina laughed, took the top back and grabbed another skinny tee, this one bottle green, with a black lightening bolt. "There. Suitable enough?"
Rachel regarded it critically. Probably trying to figure out if it had any sexual meaning. "Seems to be." She answered warily.
"Put it on then. Bathroom's through there." She gestured to the door behind her and took a seat on her bed.
It didn't take long and when the Diva came out, she looked dubious. "I don't think this suits me."
"That's the point of a makeover."
"So far this isn't really a makeover. It's a change of clothes."
Santana rolled her eyes. "I'm not done. Obviously."
"Okay what else?" The Diva said with an expression that was suspiciously mirth-like.
Santana jumped off the bed and went back to the closet. This time going to her footwear section. She pulled out a pair of shin high black leather boots, with four inch heel and a silver dog chain around the right boot. Rachel looked at the boots, then at her, then back to the boots. "No." She said simply.
"Just try them. If you don't like them, we can find something else."
"But I can see I already don't like them. Why would I try them on?"
"Because it's a makeover Rachel. If I ask nicely, will you put them on?"
"How nicely?"
"I say please?"
"Carry on then." A smirk threatening the Diva's mouth.
She attempted to look put out, but couldn't pull it off. "Rachel. I would very much like to see you wear those boots. Would you please put them on?"
"As you asked so nicely, I will." Rachel sat on the bed next to her and removed her Mary Jane's. It took a considerable amount of effort to put the boots on, even though Santana was a size bigger than her, they were still a tight fit. "How do you usually manage to get these on?" The Diva asked as she finally managed to get the second one on.
"Harness and ropes usually."
"I bet that's how you do a lot of things." The singer said with a grin.
'She is definitely getting ballsier with me.' Santana thought, but not with malice.
Rachel got up unsteadily. "I'm not very stable in them. I rarely wear any kind of heel and when I do they're generally smaller."
"Try walking in them."
"Standing seems to be quite difficult, so I'm not sure I should even attempt to walk."
"Try. I'll hold onto you to make sure you're secure."
Rachel frowned. "Okay. But I'd better not fall; the floor is considerably further away than usual."
Santana stood up and held onto Rachel's forearms, they were the same height now and it was kinda weird. "Okay?" She asked.
"Yes." Rachel nodded.
"Ready?"
"Not really, but I'll give it a go." Rachel wobbled quite a bit as she took her first - in the loosest possible sense of the word - steps "This is extremely difficult."
"You're doing fine."
"I don't think I can learn to dance in these."
"Sure you can. It's as easy as riding a bike."
"I can't ride a bike." She said, keeping her head down to focus on her feet. "I kept falling off and was taken to the hospital every time. After the fifth time my Dads were being questioned by social workers, so it was decided that maybe I should forgo that particular childhood activity."
"You could've stopped at 'I can't ride a bike' that would've been enough information."
Rachel looked up at her, about to say something, but faltered when she saw the smile. "You were teasing me."
"I was. You're getting the hang of it though. I'm going to let go now."
"That was usually what my Dads would say right before the ambulance was called out."
Santana laughed as she let her hands drop away and the other girl suddenly looked apprehensive and stopped walking.
"You can do this; move your hips at the same time."
"Okay." Her jaw tensed, and she looked back at her feet again. It was slow and methodical, almost robotic, but it was an improvement on her initial attempt.
"Pick up the pace."
"Ugh. I can't!" She sulked.
"Okay. Let's just find you another pair of shoes."
"No!" Rachel shouted. "I've put too much effort into this now. I can't just give up. I refuse to back down."
"Okay." Santana waved her hands in front defensively. "If you can't get to grips with them by the end of the week, then we change footwear. Deal?"
"Deal. Was there anything else for the makeover?"
"Make up." Santana said with a little too much enthusiasm.
She'd gone with the smoky look, and Rachel seemed unsure and was starring at herself in the mirror. Santana thought the whole outfit worked though. She picked up her phone and turned the Diva around to face her.
"What are you doing?" The smaller girl asked.
"Taking a photo."
"Why?"
"To document my work of art. Try not to look so grumpy." She took the picture and sent it to Quinn with the message. 'Tubbers, wanna come over for dinner?'
'Yes.' Was the very quick and short reply.
"Quinn's coming over for food, I'd offer you what I got in the oven, but it's not very vegan friendly, we have salad stuff."
"Thank you."
"You think you can make it downstairs in those things?" She asked nodding at the boots.
"No time like the present to find out." When the Diva got up, she smiled proudly at the fact that she didn't stumble.
It took two minutes to get down stairs, and Rachel kept yelling the entire time, even though the Latina stayed close to her. When they got to the bottom Santana rushed towards the kitchen and grabbed the Hello Kitty oven gloves, opened up the cooker and pulled out the dish, setting it on the cooling rack on the island. Then she pulled out four plates and got the salad from the fridge, serving everything out and covered the extra plate and put it to one side for Izzy.
They started eating before Quinn got there, but she'd probably catch up anyway. Since the pregnancy, Santana was amused by how the blonde could eat more than Puck, and she always thought of him as having a black hole for a stomach. There had been lots of changes recently that she had to adjust to, things that had messed up the structure of her life, but for the most part, they were for the better, even if she never said it out loud. One of her best friends having a baby was a major change in thought process, but wanting to be nice to Rachel was a much bigger gear shift. Quinn had already said sorry to the small Diva, now it was her turn.
"You know, as you're the bottom of the food chain and me at the top, being a bitch to you was part of the social structure. As a cheerleader it is my high school duty to make, or in your case, try to make, all the losers feel very small, insignificant and pathetic. It's how it works. Now, during the last, however many years its been, I may have said some things to you that could be conceived by other people as cruel, like the Israel thing for instance, and considering my ethnicity, it could be thought of as worse because I said it. Obviously I can't take any of those things back, but I can promise that I won't say anything like that to you again. That doesn't mean I won't go back to calling you a Dwarf when this week is over, because frankly, you are the size of a garden gnome and sometimes I feel like putting a red hat on you and giving you a fishing pole. Oh, and making your cheeks rosy red and getting you to sit on a toadstool. What was I talking about?"
"I think you were, in a very round about way, apologizing for your past actions towards me."
"Ah that's right. I think I've caught the ability to go off on tangents from you." She chuckled. "So, yeah, anyway, sorry."
"I wasn't expecting any kind of apology from you. That was more than what I could've hoped for, so thank you."
"Meh." Santana waved her hand.
"Can I ask you a question that has been bothering me for some time?"
"You can ask," She said suspiciously. "but if I don't like it I won't answer."
"That's fair. Cheerleading has quite a rigid uniform code correct?" Santana nodded. "So how do you and Brittany manage to get away with wearing, what I assume are, friendship bracelets?"
"Seriously? That's the question that's been bothering you for some time? We hide hem up our sleeves."
"I hadn't thought of that."
Santana chuckled and decided to change the subject to something boyfriend related. "Now that I've got you to forget all about Finn, all I have to do now is persuade you to dump Jesse, and we can find you someone nice."
"Like who?"
"I don't know. Who is the nicest person to you, that's not your awesome Dads?"
"Quinn."
Santana gnawed on her lip so she wouldn't smile. "So we need to find someone like Quinn. Or Quinn herself even." She thought that maybe that had been too much. Subtlety has never been her strong suit. She didn't get an answer, but there was a blush covering the smaller girls face. "Do you like her?"
"I..."
This was where she had to be careful. "If you like her, and you don't want to tell me, that's fine. But you should know I am the Secret Keeper and we are friends now; remember we had that initiation and everything."
"I'm not sure. It's just... I've never... I know I have this habit of latching onto people who show even a tiniest amount of interest in me. But... This is different. I'm very confused by it."
Was that confirmation? She couldn't tell. "Like the difference between infatuation and genuinely caring for someone?"
"Yes." Rachel nodded slowly. "When she's near me, I feel..."
The back door being flung open stopped the Diva finishing her sentence and Santana buried her head in her hands and groaned. Ten seconds. Quinn couldn't have waited another ten seconds.
"What's the matter with you?" The pregnant girl asked with a frown.
"Nothing. Just happy to have someone else to talk to Rachel so I don't have to do it anymore."
Rachel gave her a smile and dropped her head, Santana got up to get the plate of food, as well as the dish from the counter because Quinn was most certainly going to have more than one helping, the blonde looked at the Diva, then turned to face the Latina and mouthed the words 'Oh my God.'
"You alright there Q? You need to use the bathroom or something?"
"No! Hungry."
"Well you're in luck."
After food they all went up to Santana's room to work out some dance routines. Quinn relaxed on the bed as the two brunettes stood in the clear space opposite, the Latina performed some moves as the song played in the background and the Diva attempted to copy, with not much luck. Thirty minutes later though, Rachel had improved and no longer looked like a slightly slutty clown, but she did almost fall over a number of times, so Santana asked the blonde to stand behind the other girl and keep her stable by putting her hands on her hips. Both girls gave her a wide eyed panicked look at this, but neither objected.
She liked to think of herself as Cupid, with a perverted side.
Now that Rachel was secure, she danced with much more ease and looked like she was starting to enjoy herself. As did Quinn. Santana glanced over to the blonde and grinned.
Leather boots: $200
T-shirt: $30
Catching Preggo drooling over the Midget's ass: Priceless
She laughed out loud at her thought and ignored the curious looks from her friends as she walked over to her clock to see what time it was. "Right. Time for you two to take a hike." She smiled. "We'll practice again later in the week, wear those boots as often as you can Rachel, just so you can get used to them."
"Okay. But can I take them off now? It'll take me ten minutes to get to Quinn's car otherwise."
"Sure." She said rolling her eyes.
It took both Quinn and Santana to remove the footwear, because the smaller girl failed miserably on her own, and once they were out of the house Santana congratulated herself at a job well done today at harvesting some very important information. Yup, this was going to be a worthwhile use of her time.
Mission Dorky Love was falling into place nicely. Rachel may be the Plan Master, but she came up with better names for them.
.