Disclaimer – I sadly do not own Casualty or any of the characters!
Behind Closed Doors
Chapter 10 - Silence
"Do you want a cup of tea?"
Silence.
It was one of those days. Kirsty sighed standing up, she had been crouched down next to the bed trying to get Warren's attention. He was lying in bed, frozen, his eyes open and staring but emotionless.
She headed out of the room and onto the landing.
"Is dad not getting up?" Nita asked spotting Kirsty appearing on the landing.
"He's having a bad day." Kirsty told Nita simply "I don't think we'll get much of a response from him today, do you want some breakfast?"
"Yes please." Nita replied
Kirsty headed downstairs Nita on her heels. The teenager settled at the table as Kirsty bustled around the kitchen making coffee, pouring orange juice and buttering toast.
She placed a plate of warm buttered toast and the glass of orange juice in front of Nita and immediately recognised the look in her daughter eyes.
"What is it Nita?" Kirsty asked correctly predicating that the teenager had a question on the tip of her tongue.
"Will he ever be all right again?" Nita asked looking up from the plate of toast and right into Kirsty's eyes. It was an innocent enough question but a serious one.
"I want to say yes Nita but he might be on the anti depressants for life. It's really hard to say with these things, the physical scars will heal but the mental ones may remain for some time." Kirsty explained honestly
"Last night, he pushed you..." Nita said shocking Kirsty who hadn't realised that Nita had seen what had happened the night before, when an angry Warren had pushed her away so hard she had collided hard with the kitchen counter causing plenty of new purple bruises to spring up over night.
"He gets frustrated." Kirsty explained "I don't think he meant to hurt me sometimes he just can't get his emotions out so they just over flow."
"He's changed." Nita said sadly "I hoped he would be back to his old self by now. It's like he's a completely different person."
Kirsty could see the sadness in Nita's eyes as she spoke. She had always been a Daddy's girl.
"Nita he isn't a different person at all. All the qualities we liked or hated about him before the fire are still there he's just been through a horrible traumatic experience and horrible experiences sometimes make people react in a different way to how they used too but underneath it all they are still the same. The illness doesn't help, how he acts right now is more because of how the illness makes him act. He's very frustrated and scared." Kirsty tried to explain. "He still loves you."
"I know but he doesn't seem to still love you..." Nita said sadly
"I'm not sure he loved my before the accident. I think it's made him more honest." Kirsty shrugged slightly "As I told you before Nita things weren't perfect."
"Are you going to leave him when he gets better? Are you just here because he is ill?" Nita asked worriedly
"No. Well I don't know if I'm honest, I do care about him a lot. Whatever happens we will stay friends, because I want to stay friends whatever happens, he is very important to me or I wouldn't be here now."
"Are you scared of him?" Nita asked curiously
"I'd be lying if I said no." Kirsty sighed "At times when he's angry it's like a monster takes over his body and I am scared of what he may do."
"You're quite nasty to him at times though. Maybe that's why he gets mad?" Nita suggested
"We all have our breaking points Nita. I can only take so much before I react." Kirsty sighed sadly.
"Life is complicated."
"It is indeed." Kirsty agreed "How about we go to ton for a few hours?" Kirsty suggested
"What about Dad?" Nita asked immediately
"He will be fine, To be honest I don't think he's going to get out of bed today." Kirsty sighed "A couple of hours won't hurt."
"Ok." Nita agreed.
-
Kirsty had enjoyed the afternoon, browsing the shops and treating Nita to a new top. It was the first time that they had done something like this in awhile and it took Kirsty back to the days before the fire when she would often take Nita into town to buy her a treat or a new outfit for a party.
The blissful free time didn't last long. They returned back to the house, it was almost as if a shadow had swallowed them. Nita thanked Kirsty and vanished to her room. Kirsty paused listening for a noise that might suggest where Warren was but she only heard silence. Pretty sure that meant Warren was still in the trance like state they had left him in she headed upstairs and let herself into their bedroom.
She was right. Exactly the same position, if it wasn't for the silent tears that were now streaked down his cheeks and the steady rise and fall of the duvet she would have wondered if he was alive.
"Hey, you ok?" She asked gently hoping that the time alone would enabled Warren to speak up or move but he did neither. "Took Nita shopping today, she's getting all grown up!" Kirsty added hoping Warren might respond to a conversation about Nita.
No reply.
She settled down on the bed next to him and placed a hand on his forehead, he still didn't blink.
"Do you want to talk?"
Silence.
Kirsty sighed. Last time he had gone this unresponsive it had been days before he had started to move and talk again.
She stood up. Kissed him on the forehead and left the room. She couldn't stop her own life or Nita's just because Warren had slipped back into a coma of depression. If only he'd let her take him back to the GP's to get reassessed. She sighed sadly.