A/N: I'd like to thank NeverEatRoses and Credete for their support and ideas as I wrote this chapter. :)
"I haven't really been honest with...my feelings, Garrus."
Garrus stiffened, looking at his broken wife. She looked so...alien to him now. The dark shadows under her eyes, her hair lackluster, even her skin paled—the natural rose in her cheeks was gone.
"No, you haven't, Shepard. You keep everything in and then..." he rolled his wrist around, gesturing to her in the bed, "..this happens."
She sighed, running her long nails along her arm. "Nothing is right, Garrus. Nothing's been right since I came back."
"It hasn't. I've...been trying to adjust, Shepard, but you're constantly changing your mind about us."
Shepard narrowed her emerald eyes, "I'd say I've been fairly consistent, Garrus."
He scoffed, "Shepard, you're all over the place! One minute you're happy, the next minute you punch Liara in the nose."
She huffed, "She deserved it."
Garrus groaned, "My point is, you never tell me what you're thinking..." he looked at his talons, "You've only recently started keeping things in. Before, on the Normandy..."
"Well, we're not on the Normandy, Garrus," her tone was icy and crisp.
"I know we aren't, and I know how much it means to you to be in Command again...but, Shepard..."
Shepard laughed, a broken, empty laugh, "You honestly think you know what it's like to be a soldier with a mental disorder?" She closed her eyes and the tears fell, "To be fucking red-flagged and considered a danger to yourself and those around you? That's what I am, Garrus. That's what they told me."
He was numb. He couldn't find his voice.
"I mean, doesn't mean shit to anyone if you're the savior, if you're referred to as 'ticking-time-bomb', who will want you Commanding them?" She looked at him, incredulous. "You have no idea what it means to me, Garrus. Especially now that I'm incapable of it."
He opened his mouth to say something when there was a knock on the door.
"Commander Shepard, I'm Doctor Geny, a psychiatric specialist that helps soldiers coming home from war." A blonde with brown eyes, a clean white suit, crisp card pinned on her jacket reading "Doctor Geny" stepped inside the room, datapad under her arm.
Shepard looked at Garrus, "Would you mind getting me something to eat?"
He nodded at Doctor Geny, "What would you like?"
She waved her hand, "Anything edible."
Garrus stepped outside the room.
"Commander, I'd like to begin this therapy session by telling you everything is completely confidential. Nothing will leave this room. We're just using this to being your healing process."
A nod. It was a permanent promise. She couldn't believe her.
The blonde smiled, too brightly, "I'm going to ask you a few questions."
How are you today?
Time. It's going by so, so, very slow.
She felt achy. Her entire body was sore—as if often was after a battle—but she wasn't fighting an exterior force. It just was wrong. Everything was wrong. She hasn't slept in months.
Why haven't you slept?
Shepard closed her eyes and she was on Earth again. The destruction, the screams of people below her, that boy with those big blue eyes. It had been predicted. Fifty thousand years ago, the Protheans left their warning. The Beacon on Eden Prime. The fact that they were warned...if they had prepared, the graves would be empty. That little boy would be alive.
Geny didn't say anything.
She wouldn't had to have activated the Catalyst, lost two months of her life and been cheated on. She groaned and closed her eyes; no, no, mustn't think of it. It was a mistake, it only happened once.
Shepard shook her head and ran her fingers through her hair. She was okay.
Maybe if she got out of this goddamned hospital, she and Garrus could start over. She looked at the ring on her left hand and smiled.
They were going to work out.
So he had an affair while you were presumed dead, Shepard?
She nodded. Only once.
With your best friend? Do you still consider her your best friend?
Shepard shrugged. She didn't know. Fuck, she didn't even care.
It really doesn't bother you anymore, Commander?
She bit her lip, unsure of how to respond. It does bother her, a lot. But it was in the past. It only happened once.
Shepard.
The Commander shook her head, looking back up at the therapist.
Her eyes were glowing yellow.
What would she like?
Garrus rolled his shoulders back, stretching out his back. He walked to the elevator and pressed the button that led to the first floor. The cafeteria would be there, right? He sighed and maneuvered himself between asari nurses, doctors and patients until he found the neon sign that read "CAFETERIA."
Shepard's only meal consisted of the Alliance edition nutrient bars for lunch and dinner, a liter of water in between missions, and coffee in the morning. He never saw her eat anything else on the Normandy.
He arrived at the cafeteria. Normandy...why did she think we were on the Normandy? Was that a flashback?
He paused over the menu above him. She needed something filling and nutritious, and this hospital served a variety of cuisine. Noodle dishes, salads, sandwiches, soups. He glanced at the dextro side of the menu and grunted. One type of soup that wasn't even native to Palaven, some form of cold-cut sandwich, and the turian version of a salad.
He ordered, grabbed the food and two bottles of water, and walked back to the elevator.
When he arrived on the second floor, the amount of doctors rushing around startled him. He wondered what was going on.
He shrugged it off and walked towards Shepard's room, only to find her door open.
He set the food down on the empty bed and stepped outside the room. Chaos.
"Code green-blue on the second floor. Code green-blue on the second floor."
Garrus ran to a nurse that jogged past him, "Code green-blue?"
"We have a combative individual with powerful biotics."
Shepard.
"Get away from me!" Her barrier was up, hand glowing with singularity. Needles filled with narcotics were in the shaking hands of doctors that surrounded her. She could wipe them out with a single move and they knew it.
Doctor Geny's neck was in her arm. Headlock. First lesson in self-defense training.
"Commander, please. Take a deep breath, release the doctor."
She shook her head, "No."
A small, tentative step made by the guy behind her. She turned around and smirked at him.
"You're forgetting who you're dealing with."
"Shepard!"
It was her love, her only light. She brightened when she saw him, but still kept her ground.
He was in between two doctors on the left of her.
"Garrus..." she smiled.
"Shepard...what are you doing?"
"What am I doing? What are you doing in civilian gear?"
He swallowed, "Shepard, what are you talking about?"
"This is a huge mission, Vakarian, and you're not prepared! I told you I needed you on my six to snipe these Harbinger bastards." She gestured to the crying doctor.
Garrus' legs locked, but he willed them forward, small, baby steps. "Shepard...we're not doing a mission right now." His voice was calm, soothing.
She growled and he took a step back.
"You're not in Command of the Normandy, we're not saving the world. We just got married, Shepard. We're civilians now."
She shuddered, "I would never fucking retire, Vakarian. This is...a trick, made by the Reapers." She gasped, pointing an accusing finger at the nurses and doctors surrounding her, "You're all fucking indoctrinated!"
She pushed her barrier out, knocking the circle of people on their backs. She threw the doctor at Garrus and rushed down the hall. Garrus set the doctor down and chased after Shepard.
"Shepard! Stop!"
"Get the fuck away from me, Harbinger!" She threw a warp at Garrus. He barely dodged it and she rushed into an empty elevator.
Fuck.
He found the stairs and Liara walked through with a bouquet of flowers.
"Garrus?"
"Shepard thinks I'm Harbinger. Help me."
She dropped the flowers and they rushed down the stairs.
"Wrap her in a stasis, Liara." She nodded and they reached the first level.
Shepard was glowing in the middle of the room. Fury and panic filled her features, a hint of confusion in her eyes, her body shaking with rage.
"Liara." Garrus whispered, the asari summoned her energy and Shepard was covered in frozen blue.
Why the fuck is he with her?
In stasis, one is immobile, vulnerable, frozen. Shepard couldn't fucking stand it. She felt...open. Bullets could pierce the energy. She wouldn't be able to defend herself.
She didn't like feeling weak.
She was weak.
The stasis unwrapped around her in slow motion and she fell to the floor, gasping.
Garrus cautiously walked towards her, and she glared at him.
She was tired.
He wrapped his arms around her, gently lifted her up and she pulled away from him. He sighed and placed his talon on her shoulder. She shook her head and walked into the elevator.
"Shepard."
She smiled sadly at him. "I love you."
The elevator doors closed.
"Garrus, we're asking for your permission to begin a treatment of medicine on Shepard," Doctor Chakwas smiled at him.
Garrus sighed, glancing at Shepard through the window, "What kind of medicine?"
"Heavy doses of anti-anxiety medication and prazosin. What prazosin does is block out the way the brain responds to adrenaline, thus suppressing nightmares and flashbacks."
"It also lowers your response time to an possible attack. I've talked to Shepard about sleeping pills and she refuses because she doesn't want to be vulnerable. I don't know if she'd agree to taking that kind of medication, especially in a hospital."
She shook her head, "No. She'd be doing these treatments at home and coming back weekly to check on her progress. She'd also be engaging in cognitive and group therapy with other soldiers from Earth."
Garrus sighed, "What if those medicines don't work for her?"
"Then we try something else. We want the best for Shepard. We want her to recover. In a few weeks, if you don't see a noticeable improvement in her mood and sleeping patterns, contact me immediately."
He sighed, "Where do I sign, Karin?"
A/N: Yup. That is Chapter 10.
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