Last time on the Dark Pit Show: Pit is hungry. Fast food is overrated. The angels don't have a mini-refrigerator. Pizza is fun to prepare? Dark Pit doesn't like chef's gear. Cheese puns. Lots of cheese puns. Now back to the show!
Dark Pit and Shadmé leaned over their half-completed pizza.
"Toppings," Shadmé commented. "What should we use?"
"Peppers, onions, bacon, pepperoni, pineapple, mushroom-" Dark Pit cut Pit off. "You don't even eat half of that stuff!"
"Yeah I do!" he argued back.
Shadmé had already gotten to work, and Dark Pit wore a devilish grin on his face as an idea occurred to him.
He took all the mushrooms and sprinkled them on half the pizza.
"This side is yours, then, if you really eat those," he laughed.
Pit shrugged indifferently, although a bead of sweat ran down the side of his head. "That's okay! I...I'll just try not to think of all the innocent little Toads you're putting on my pizza. If Princess Peach comes in tell her I'm not responsible!"
"Whatever," muttered Dark Pit. He watched Shadmé put bacon and pineapple on the pizza. "Best topping, in my opinion, is bacon," she explained, "but pineapple compliments it well."
"That looks good!" Pit chuckled nervously. Dark Pit looked around for another topping to put on Pit's half, but Shadmé stopped him in time.
"Okay, so let's chuck the entire thing into the oven for twenty or so minutes." Dark Pit lunged towards the pizza, and she sighed, knowing what he was up to. "No, I don't mean actually CHUCK it in! Put it in. Gently."
The request was complete, and the three stood around the oven semi-awkwardly. "Soo...what do we do now?" Pit wondered.
Shadmé brightened up. "How about a story?"
Dark Pit groaned, but Pit cheered. Shadmé moved to sit down at the plush chair, Dark Pit and Pit beside her.
"Once upon a time...well, let's just set out a disclaimer. All these characters are completely fictional, any resemblance to real-life angels is entirely coincidental." Pit shrugged- he had tuned out the beginning since she had used those fancy words like "disclaimer".
"Once upon a time, there was a smart angel. Because the economy was bad, she decided to start a show to make money and have fun. She brought in two others, and they started.
"The first thing they did was talk to a goddess. The show host brought romance into the picture, which was a bad idea (not to mention disrespectful!), and everyone started fighting. It brought ratings up for some reason, and she was happy.
"The next time they got together, it was winter time. So they made snow fall from nowhere, and ran around like idiots."
"Pfft!" Pit laughed. "What were some of the stupid things they did?"
"Well, they threw snowballs at the audience," Shadmé replied. "And dropped the camera in the snow."
Dark Pit's eyebrow raised a tiny bit, but he said nothing.
"Then they got together again and tried to embarrass each other by reflecting on the past year and making resolutions for the next," she continued. "After that, they teamed up on the show host by calling him a stupid name."
"Like Pittoo?" asked Dark Pit. "That's the stupidest name I can think of."
"Is not!" Pit replied.
"Uhh, yeah...something like that," Shadmé said. "Anyhow! They then thought it was a good idea to interview a boss next. They were just asking to get eaten.
"After that, the two angels running the show got in a really unintelligent tickle fight, which ended in them having a duel. The female angel who started the show was completely innocent and not responsible for everything that happened. The end!" She clapped her hands once and stood up.
Pit gaped at her. "Wow! Those angels were sure silly, huh?"
"Yep!" Shadmé returned.
"And who were they, exactly?" wondered Dark Pit, eyeing Shadmé. "You never mentioned any names. All good authors name their characters."
Shadmé rubbed the back of her head sheepishly, and then a timer went off. She quickly turned to the oven and exclaimed "Oh! Pizza's done!"
"Whoo-hoo!" Pit cheered. Dark Pit sighed but walked over to open the oven door. The brilliant smell of fresh pizza wafted through the air.
"Ohh, sweet!" gasped Pit. Shadmé grabbed some oven mitts and pulled out the pizza, putting it on the table.
Dark Pit pulled over some chairs, and the three of them sat around the table. Pit reached out for a slice, but Shadmé nudged him. "Wait up, Pit! We have to say grace!"
"Do what now?" he asked, confused. Shadmé bowed her head, as if she was praying. A few seconds passed and she peered up, smiling. "I'm just kidding. We're angels, for Palutena's sake! Dig in!"
The twin angels lunged for the pizza, while Shadmé leaned back and sighed. All of a sudden, her eyes narrowed as she noticed the camera was absent. She looked around, and noticed it on the ground. Again.
"What's your favorite part of pizza?" Pit babbled. "Pizza sauce for me!"
"I'm surprised your favorite part isn't the mushrooms," Dark Pit laughed.
Pit immediately paled. "Okay, well no, they aren't. Every time I put one in my mouth, I hear a Toad begging for mercy..."
"Ugh!" Dark Pit picked up a mushroom and threw it at Pit. "What do they say when they're thrown at you?"
Pit screamed and ducked. "They say...FOOD FIGHT!" He grabbed a handful of mushrooms and threw them at his doppelgänger. "Go forth, brave Toads, and slay the dark angel!"
They splatted against Dark Pit's tunic, and he growled. "You're asking for it!" He took some bacon off and threw it back. It hit the side of Pit's face, and he grabbed some peppers, retaliating.
Dark Pit grabbed at his face, the vegetable having hit him in the eye. Whipping around, he grabbed a big hunk of cheese and threw it at Pit, only for Shadmé to appear with the camera from beneath the table.
"Check this out!" she crowed, only to get hit in the face with the cheese and black out. Pit stared in surprise.
"The force that you threw that BLUE my mind!"
Dark Pit groaned. "Why do I have to tell you to quit with the cheese puns already?"
AN: uhh…this is Pit! shadme wanted me tu put this on the internet, but shes kinda ko'd by a blok of chese. so here we go!
Dark Pit: Y'know what, just leave me to it. As Shadmé would say, "Thanks for reading; don't forget to review!" I mean, I wouldn't say that, but she would. Uh, forget I even said anything. See you next episode!