A Perception of Reality

by knightchaser

There is a belief that states for every action taken, the alternative action is played out in another dimension. In one reality Itachi succeeded in killing his clan, in another, he failed. This is the story of what happened when he failed.

10. Chapter 10 Watch What You Say

Last week Itachi was read the riot act by the Uchiha elder council and had a heart-to-heart talk with Sasuke.

Thanks for all the reviews, you all are great

I've been watching Gintama (the funniest anime ever) and when I was trying to think up a title for this chapter, well, Gintama came to mind and I used the type of title they would use. It really fits.

Disclaimer: Kishimoto owns Naruto

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Chapter 10 – Adults Should Watch What They Say In Front of Children

Autumn had taken a firm hold on the forest as November started. The golds, reds and browns of the leaves were offset by a few that had clung hopefully to summer and still remained green. Blue sky could be seen through the canopy and here and there brilliant beams of hazy sunlight filtered down to the forest floor. It was cold, though winter was still but a whisper in the air voiced by the rustling of the branches, blown about by a northeast wind.

Two people made their way through the forest, walking down a narrow path that wound its way up and down the rocky terrain, around boulders and under giant trees. Their senses were in overload with all there was to experience, the sound of ducks and geese flying overhead, chickadees chirping happily amongst the branches, the scent of moldy leaves and fresh earth from the forest floor and the sight of a beautiful fall day. Having spent so much time in Konoha hiding in a subterranean prison and then confined to the Uchiha compound it felt good to get out, and Itachi and Sheeta were taking full advantage of it. They spoke occasionally, but mostly, they just walked silent next to each other. It was companionable, but after a while, one of the pair had finally had enough.

"I thought these woods were supposed to be full of Danzou's people." Sheeta pouted. She was accompanying Itachi on his first day back to active duty. It was supposed to be a solitary patrol, but he asked her come with him anyway. Six hours into a ten hour shift and nothing had happened. They had seen a few small signs of human activity, but whether it was from the renegades or not was debatable. However, everything, no matter how trivial, was logged in a small notebook with Itachi's fine, precision calligraphy.

"We are hiding our chakra, they are hiding their chakra. To tell the truth, we could have been close to them several times today and never known it." Itachi replied calmly.

Sheeta huffed, "Not with you here. Don't tell me you wouldn't have sensed them."

"True. I would have." Itachi admitted.

It was silent for a couple minutes, during which Sheeta looked intently, expectantly, into her friend's eyes. Itachi gazed back emotionlessly.

"So what is it?" Sheeta finally yelled. "Are they here or aren't they?"

"Hn." Itachi smirked and started walking away.

"Jerk." Sheeta muttered as she followed him down the narrow trail. After a couple minutes she caught up and changed the subject, "So how are you getting along with Naruto living in your house?"

"Can't wait for him to leave." Itachi said truthfully.

"It can't be that bad, can it?"

"He and Sasuke have become pretty good friends and do everything together, but they argue about everything. Mother finally put her foot down last night and threatened to beat them both black and blue if she heard so much as a whisper out of them for the rest of the night. And it was only five o'clock. It's a good thing that father spends all his time at work. He would have beaten them."

"What were they doing? I mean, Aya and I would argue all the time…" Sheeta was interrupted.

"Yeah, true. But when Nui told you to shut up you guys would stop. Sasuke and Naruto stop for three seconds then start up all over again. He's only living with us for a few months, though. Until things settle down and a permanent foster home can be found." Itachi sighed, "On the other hand, it's nice to see Sasuke playing with another kid. I grew up with Shisui and then you guys. Sasuke has had no one. Perhaps he just doesn't know how to act around other kids. Naruto too."

"It's for the best then. I'm sure you'll live." Sheeta smiled.

"I'm thinking of moving my room upstairs. That's where we'll live anyway when we get married. It would be much quieter." Itachi continued to scan the area with his Sharingan and pretended not to notice Sheeta's blushing cheeks.

"If… if you need help moving I'll help. I'd like to see what it looks like." Sheeta replied quietly.

Itachi smiled, "There's a large bedroom with its own bathroom and balcony, three other smaller bedrooms, a large room that can be a living room and some other rooms that could be whatever we want. The house is designed to hold multiple generations so technically, if father and mother live a long time it could be them, us and then my heir and his wife and kids living all in one house."

"Sounds wonderful." Sheeta smiled wistfully. "If only we could be that happy. It's a big house, over five-thousand square feet. It should be okay."

"It's actually much bigger than that." Itachi admitted. "We don't count the meeting rooms or the clan library and storage in the square footage. Those are sort of like public facilities since the whole clan has access. But if the family got too big we could spread out into them."

"So are you moving? If you did… we could start decorating now for… when…." Sheeta blushed again.

Itachi stopped walking and gave a short laugh. "That's five years away, at least, Sheeta. But you know, I think I will move. Then Naruto can use my old bedroom instead of the guest room. It's closer to the kitchen and Mother likes to keep everything centralized. I'm not messy so she won't have to pick up after me upstairs."

"Ha! Then I'm definitely helping." Sheeta stated proudly, "But why doesn't Lady Mikoto hire a maid? Hinata was telling me her mother had tons of servants."

"Pride. She wants to say she did everything herself."

"Yeah, she and my mother have been teaching me all kinds of things about cleaning and cooking and entertaining and manners and protocol. They said it seems like a lot because I'm still a kid… but when I get older it will be easier." She paused, "I hope they're right 'cause I want to be like Lady Mikoto and do everything myself too."

Itachi smiled his approval and continued to lead them along the path. His Sharingan looked closely into the shadows cast by the trees, looking, searching… and tracking. He glanced down at the girl walking beside him and she nodded at him, a serious expression crossing her face for the briefest of moments before her smile returned. There were at least twenty-three shinobi following them now. Their conversation, while seemingly idle, was meant to put their pursuers' off-guard. To make them think they hadn't been detected. In the meantime, Itachi was leading them toward the main road that lead to Konoha. It was wide and would be much easier to fight there. Also… Itachi was feeling a little lazy and leaving the renegade's heads on the main road would make it easier to return them to Konoha.

"I've been training with Sasuke and Naruto for the last few days." Itachi said almost cheerfully. "Sasuke has a lot of potential, but Naruto needs a lot of work on his basics."

"Is it because he was living alone?" Sheeta asked.

"Probably. He had no one to help him or push him. Sasuke… father wasn't pushing him, but Sasuke still felt a strong desire to please him and worked as hard as he could. Also, mother would help him with his training and he would practice a lot on his own. And… he's driven by a desire to surpass me. Everyone compares him to me and I know it hurts his feelings."

"Hmm. When is the school opening again?" Sheeta ran a hand through her hair and readjusted the clip that was holding it away from her face.

"Don't know yet. Right now all the new orphans are living there. In the meantime, mother is tutoring Sasuke, Naruto and Hinata. Konohamaru is staying with Kisa and Toshiro until Sarutobi feels better." Itachi stretched out his chakra and sensed a faint chakra signature ahead of them, but it disappeared quickly. 'Twenty-four', he said to himself.

"So are you going over to Lady Kisa's house tonight?"

Itachi sighed, "Yeah. She put Hinata in Shisui's old room and when she was clearing it out she found some things she wanted to give me." He was actually dreading going over there. He still missed his cousin and didn't feel up to reminiscing. He suddenly remembered the night of the fight... when he had heard… or thought he heard… Shisui's voice in his head.

"Don't close your eyes."

Had he gotten a message from his dead cousin that Danzou was going to make an appearance? If so, how was that possible? He suspected it was nothing more than an overactive imagination, severe exhaustion and, as Nui had phrased it, "malnutrition". Surely those three factors could easily cause hallucinations. Of course, part of him wanted the incident to have really happened. He missed Shisui terribly and the chance to talk to him again would be very comforting.

Another chakra signature joined the others and pulled Itachi out of his thoughts. "Twenty-five." He said under his breath.

Sheeta whispered without moving her mouth, "I take it you were trying to make it to the road? Should we stop here instead? They might be herding us."

"It's okay," Itachi reassured her, "the road is just ahead. I don't know why they haven't attacked yet, so we need to wait and see if we can find out. It might tell us more about what's going on with these guys."

Sheeta smirked, "Sounds good to me. I've been wanting a fight for a long time."

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The narrow path ended suddenly at a wide, poorly maintained road. The afternoon sun sat low in the sky, filtering its pale light through the autumnal-colored leaves and bare branches that lined either side of the heavily travelled dirt road. Mud was still caked on the ground where a wagon wheel had run through the many deep puddles during the rains that had, until a couple days ago, fallen steadily since the coup. Because the village was supposed to be a secret, the road was not kept repaired. Most people who stumbled upon it would think it was a minor thoroughfare and turn back, seeking a better travelled path to follow.

About ten shinobi were standing in a semi-circle in the middle of the road and as Itachi and Sheeta stepped off the trail their twenty-five stalkers jumped down behind them to close the circle. Dark, ankle-length robes fluttered in the wind as the thirty-five shinobi adjusted their positions. Dressed completely in black, they wore ankle length pants, long sleeve shirts and traditional woven sandals with black tabi socks. Gloves covered their hands and their necks and heads were wrapped with black cloth. The porcelain masks that covered their faces had a smooth black surface with no discernable eyeholes. The only way to tell one person apart from another was by height and build.

Itachi focused on about seven of the ninjas who were roughly Sasuke's height. 'They must be some of the children we collected a couple years ago for ROOT.' He suppressed the urge to shudder as he remembered that on two separate occasions Danzou had tried to get his hands on Sasuke. The first time he asked Fugaku to hand over his useless second son, who, as a part of the side branch, was not important. The second time he had informed Itachi that he could spare his little brother from the massacre if he gave him to ROOT. The children were being raised to be emotionless, moldable shinobi who could be shaped as the mission dictated. Itachi had watched as the two children he and Yuri had given to Danzou changed over the years. It was creepy, yet he had never questioned it. Now as he looked into their anonymous masks he wondered if he was going to have to kill them. And he wondered… if they even remembered who he was… or who they were. If they didn't… it would be easier.

"Itachi Uchiha, traitor of Konoha." A tall man stepped forward, speaking with a strong voice. "Traitor of ROOT, and betrayer of our leader Lord Danzou."

"Hn." Itachi activated his Sharingan and stared at the man.

"Sentence has been passed and you are to be executed for your treason."

"Hn."

"Is that all you have to say before we rip you apart?" The man stated emotionlessly.

"Hn." Itachi smirked. "Danzou is as good as dead, why do you still follow him?"

The man laughed, as did many of the others. "That's Lord Danzou to you, kid. And…" He laughed again. "No point in telling you everything, you're going to die anyway."

"I have no respect or tolerance left for your supercilious ideals. Again, why do you still follow him? I awoke from his nightmare, why are you still moving forward with your eyes closed?" Itachi stood motionless and spoke in a calm, patient voice.

"Humph. You were given a simple mission. Exterminate the Uchiha clan." The faceless renegade smirked behind his mask when Sheeta gasped at his words. "Yet you let yourself be captured and then brainwashed by Fugaku Uchiha. In Root there are no emotions. There are no attachments. There is only the mission. Failure means death."

"What are you? The Shinsengumi?" Itachi asked curiously. He referred to a group that had existed a long time ago in the old empire. Its members adhered to a strict code of honor that called for ritual suicide if one broke a rule.

The black-clad man laughed, "You could say that, boy. Like them, our purpose is to protect our leader and our homeland. And you deserted our ranks."

"So… my only crime is failing to kill my clan. Attacking and incapacitating your leader doesn't count?" Something wasn't adding up. Itachi scanned the area with his Sharingan. The shinobi were continuing to hide their chakra, but of course he could see it perfectly, and they had to know that, too. Was there someone else nearby they were hiding from?

The man laughed again, "Like I said a minute ago, there is no need for you to know everything." He pulled a sword and stood up straight. "You have the option to commit ritual suicide. Will you take the honorable way and uphold the traditions of our organization or will you be a coward and fight?"

Itachi looked at Sheeta. She was staring at him with her Sharingan, but he couldn't read her expressionless face. He imagined she was shocked to hear about his mission. While Danzou had blurted out the information during the fight, Sheeta hadn't been there and no one had told her.

"The girl will be executed. The order to kill the Uchiha clan still stands and she is an Uchiha." The man incorrectly guessed that Itachi was worried about the safety of his companion.

"Request refused." Itachi stated plainly. His Sharingan bled into its Mangekyou form and he spoke in a firm voice, "Amaterasu."

Ten shinobi screamed in agony as they and the trees behind them were caught in a conflagration of black flames. As they fell to the ground the flames continued to burn without stopping. An intense heat many times hotter than a regular flame covered the area, causing the renegades to back off a few steps. They made no effort to rescue their fallen comrades.

"Why aren't you doing anything to help them?" Sheeta yelled.

"Your comrade made a statement earlier, comparing us to the legendary Shinsengumi. I believe it was one of their rules that if you were attacked and the enemy escaped you would be forced to commit ritual suicide. Also, another of their rules states that only the corpse of the commander of a battalion would be removed from the battlefield. The rest would be left behind." The man laughed, "Be careful what you wish for Itachi, the Shinsengumi were defeated only through their own squabbling and political in-fighting. To their enemies they were merciless."

"How dare you compare yourself to them?" Sheeta was getting mad and was tired of all the talk.

"How dare I? It was Itachi's idea, you heard him. Maybe we'll take that as our name. But then again, Root is so much more descriptive."

Sheeta glared at Itachi. "Are we going to just stand around and talk?"

"Hn."

"Quit saying that, you moron." Sheeta snapped.

"Ah! So the little girl barks, but frankly, I doubt she has much of a bite." Another man spoke up, amused. He noticed that the girl wasn't wearing a forehead protector and figured she probably hadn't graduated from the Academy yet. Or had failed the exam and dropped out.

"Sheeta," Itachi said calmly, "Take him out first." He was looking forward to this. He had heard her fighting style described as "dancing" several months earlier, and had wanted to see it for himself. However, the opportunity never presented itself as he attempted to distance himself from his friends and family.

The teen threw off her jacket, revealing a long-sleeve dark blue shirt with a "V" neck collar and Uchiha symbols embroidered on each shoulder. Her shiny black hair swung out behind her in one long pony-tail as she launched herself at the ninja who had just insulted her. Her Sharingan eyes were opened wide and her mouth set in a wide grin. The ninja side-stepped to avoid the attacking female, but Sheeta effortlessly corrected her trajectory by twisting her spine and kicked him in the lower back. Landing back on her feet she ducked, turned around on one foot and stood up, swinging her free foot around to kick the man squarely in the stomach. He bent over, and spit up blood. The teen had done something to his abdomen with her kick.

"Medical jutsu…" He gasped. "You're putting medical jutsus into your kicks…"

Sheeta didn't answer him, but continued to twirl about and kick the man. Each blow disabled him further and further. Rupturing his liver, bruising his spine, cracking several ribs and finally dropping him to ground with the snap of a broken neck. Instead of stopping she immediately turned on the nearest Shinobi and attacked again. This time it was a woman skilled in earth jutsus. She disappeared into the ground before Sheeta could land the first blow and reappeared a moment later behind the teen, knocking her to the ground with a well-placed kick. Immediately the woman found herself knocked across the road and into a tree when the "Sheeta" that had been knocked to the ground turned out to be a tree stump from a substitution jutsu and the real Sheeta appeared behind her.

The woman didn't get a chance to pick herself up before Sheeta was on her again, kicking her stomach and ribs. Disappearing into the ground she reached up and grabbed Sheeta's foot, pulling it into the loosed dirt. The teen immediately did a transportation jutsu and moved three feet away, then quickly jumped up into the air. Using her Sharingan she searched the area for chakra. She could see it as colors, just below the ground. The woman was planting explosives. She glanced over at Itachi and saw that the others had not attacked him for some reason. Well, they were probably thinking they would kill her first.

The black flames were still burning and heating up the area. Sheeta brushed sweat away from her face as she landed in between two explosives. She figured they were probably chakra tags since the signature was very weak. However, a second later her Sharingan saw the signature strengthen slightly and she jumped up into the air a half second before they went off. She was engulfed in a cloud of smoke and fire as she rose higher into the air, partially propelled by the force of the explosion.

Landing on a branch the teen wiped her face again and noticed her hand had come back with blood. A sharp pain registered on her forehead and she reached up to rub it, feeling a sticky substance. It was a deep cut and the blood quickly started to drip into her left eye. Using a medical jutsu she was able to stop the bleeding, but it was only temporary and would likely re-open if she was hit in the head again.

Searching the area as the smoke cleared she saw her adversary glaring up at her. Sheeta put her hands up and formed a few handsigns, disappearing from view. The renegade woman looked around, trying to sense the teen. However, the jutsu the girl used was a complete cloaking technique that disguised both her appearance and her chakra. It was very chakra intensive when used to this level (usually she just hid her appearance and left her chakra at its normal levels since her work on the police force usually put her against civilians). The renegade suddenly found herself propelled into another tree as Sheeta re-appeared behind her. Trying to stand up, the woman cursed as her legs refused to obey.

"I've cracked your vertebrae. You are helpless until you get medical attention." Sheeta smiled.

"Humph." The woman pulled out a small canister, moved her mask aside and swallowed the contents. She smiled as she fell over sideways onto the ground.

"What… Did she… Did she kill herself?" Sheeta's eyes went wide in shock. "But… that injury was completely capable of healing. She would have been out of the hospital in a week at the most…"

"Me next, little girl." A man pulled a kunai and ran at the distracted female. She bent over backwards as he swiped the weapon forward, aiming for her neck. Righting herself she pulled her own kunai and put it in her mouth, then grabbed two more kunai; one for each hand. The pair fought with the knives as Sheeta dodged in an out of the man's swings, bending her back at impossible angles and twirling on her feet to add momentum to her own attacks. She held back on her kicks, preferring to match the ninja's kunai strikes instead. After three minutes he had multiple cuts and she had one cut across her left shoulder.

One of the shinobi who had been standing on the side watching suddenly looked intently into the forest. She raised her hand and then turned it forty-five degrees; then she and the children disappeared. The remaining six Shinobi also looked out into the forest. Sheeta used the distraction to swipe her kunai across her adversary's neck, killing him instantly. The remaining renegades used transportation jutsus to disappear.

Sheeta started to send her chakra out to try to figure out what was going on, but instead found herself shoved up against a tree. She dropped her kunais and put her hands up to push back when she saw Itachi looking down at her. His Sharingan eyes were a deep red and blazed fiercely into her own. Suddenly shy she turned her head and stared at the ground, not sure what to say or do. Itachi had never looked at her like that before and it was a little intimidating. He grabbed her chin, forcing her to look back up at him and bent down, capturing her lips with his own. She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck. Itachi moved closer and wrapped one arm around her back and placed a hand at the back of her neck, burying his fingers in her ponytail.

"God that was amazing…" Itachi whispered as he broke the kiss. "I could watch you all day…" he lowered his head again, deepening the kiss. Sheeta sighed as she ran her hands slowly across his back and wished he wasn't wearing his jacket… or his shirt… or…

"Well, well, well. You two were doing this the last time I saw you. Do you ever stop?" A strong, male voice interrupted the teens.

Itachi lifted his lips a millimeter and spoke in an annoyed voice, "Go away, Jiraiya, I'm busy." He lowered his lips again and tilted his head to get a better angle.

"Hmm. Is that any way to greet a friend?"

"Friends don't interrupt friends when they're making out with their girls." Itachi pulled away from Sheeta and stood beside her. "And when exactly did we become friends?"

"Hmm. That could possible explain a few things… but…" he turned to Sheeta, who was blushing a brilliant red, both from the intensity of Itachi's kiss and being discovered in an intimate position by the famous Sannin. "Young lady that was quite a battle. I was beginning to think you were part cat, the way you were moving."

"Th…thank-you." Sheeta stuttered, overwhelmed by the praise.

"You know what they say about flexible women, Itachi. You got lucky there, my boy!" Jiraiya laughed and Itachi looked at him with a blank expression. He had no idea what "they" said about flexible women, but decided he would find out later.

"So… I take it you are here to see my father." Itachi changed the subject.

"Yeah. I was on my way here to beat some sense into that man when I got some rather disturbing information. Why don't you fill me in while we walk to the village? You need to turn in these heads and the little lady here needs to get that cut looked at." Jiraiya had turned serious and stared curiously at the still-burning black flames. "Those weren't ANBU level shinobi, yet they were following Danzou. It makes no sense."

Itachi nodded in agreement. While he couldn't speak for the children, not having seen them fight recently, he had estimated that none of the others could fight above a Chuunin level. Otherwise, he wouldn't have allowed his girlfriend to fight them alone. As skilled as Sheeta was, she had very little experience with actual combat. Even her work on the police force was kept simple. It wasn't that no one believed her capable enough to handle a fight – quite the contrary. They knew she had a lot of potential. The problem was that there were so few children in the clan that Sheeta was considered too precious to risk. They needed her to bear children; and she couldn't do that if she ended up injured or dead before she grew up.

"I'll put those flames out first, Sheeta, start cutting off their heads." Itachi said quietly. Twenty minutes later the three Shinobi made their way back to the village carrying thirteen heads. Itachi was sure it would have been more if Jiraiya hadn't shown up. After all, he was no doubt the reason the renegades had run off. There was probably no one who could go up against the Sannin and survive. Except, maybe, another Sannin.

Itachi smirked as his imagination kicked in, 'I bet father can't even beat him. Maybe Jiraiya will punch him. That would be something to see.'

Jiraiya creased his brow and squinted, suddenly curious, "Huh? What are you thinking about, Itachi? You're smiling."

The teen gave a short laugh, "Oh… nothing."

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"Excuse me for interrupting father, but you have a guest." Itachi spoke politely as he walked through the open door into the Hokage's office. Fugaku and Sarutobi were sitting on opposite couches drinking tea and talking. Several file folders were spread out on the coffee table between them. The teen noted that his father still wasn't wearing the traditional Hokage robes. Several people, including Sarutobi and Mikoto were urging him to follow tradition and put them on, but he preferred to wear something that he could fight in. Itachi found he agreed with his father in this case. There were still random attacks in the village and being able to fight at a moments notice was certainly more desirable.

"Huh? Who…" Fugaku and Sarutobi stood up, shocked, as Jiraiya strode into the room. The tall man with his knee length white hair, broad shoulders and grim expression stood resolutely behind Itachi.

"Still causing trouble, Fugaku?" Jiraiya asked in a stern voice. "You know, I still haven't forgiven you for getting me arrested thirty years ago. Then you go and pull all this. Humph."

Fugaku frowned. "For the record, you got yourself arrested. Peeking in at the women in the hotsprings. It was only a matter of time, after all. If I remember right they also threatened to charge you with corruption of a minor. Lucky thing you were only thirteen and they decided to drop that charge."

"Well at least I wasn't dumb enough to ask the manager for a stool so I could see through the hole." Jiraiya gave him a big smile.

"I was eight. I had no idea what was on the other side of the hole. I just wanted to see what you were laughing about and you wouldn't lift me up to look. Of course I went and asked for a stool." Fugaku smirked. He remembered how upset the hot springs manager had been when he saw the teenage Jiraiya peeking in at the ladies. He also remembered being disappointed because he didn't get to look in through the hole, as well as grateful that he hadn't been caught.

"Ha!" Sarutobi laughed, "One-hundred hours community service, if I remember correctly."

"And here you are, still causing trouble on the backs of others." Jiraiya said seriously. "That Danzou… I never trusted him, but I never thought he would go this far. He knew just what buttons to press to get to you two…" He glanced down at the boy still standing next to him and corrected himself, "you three… to move in his direction. He is very dangerous."

"Tell us something we don't know." Fugaku replied sarcastically.

"Has he been interrogated yet?" Jiraiya asked.

Fugaku sat back down and motioned for Jiraiya to sit as well, "Inoichi Yamanaka is still recovering. The doctor says he should be able to return to work in three or four days. Danzou is at the top of his list. His teammate's wife and son were killed by some of Danzou's ROOT operatives."

Jiraiya frowned, "Who?"

"Chouza." Fugaku answered quietly. Sasuke had told him about finding Choji's body, as well as the corpses of other kids. The boy was worried about his other classmates. Some Genin had been rounded up and were currently conducting a census so that some sort of tally could be determined of who was alive and who was dead. It was difficult work because people were still moving around and ended up being counted multiple times. Plus, some people had left the village during the coup or after they were allowed back in the village. A final count of deceased would probably never be accurate under the circumstances.

Fugaku sighed and looked up at his son, who was still standing. A curious expression crossed his face and he creased his brow, "Itachi… when, exactly, did you start wearing pink lipstick?"

"Approximately forty-five minutes ago, father." Itachi replied calmly.

"A normal kid would have been embarrassed by that." Fugaku sighed again.

Itachi smirked, "A normal kid wouldn't have had a girlfriend to help him put it on." He could still feel the rush he had felt from watching Sheeta fight those three renegades, not to mention the kiss they had shared afterward.

All three men looked up at the teen, shocked. It wasn't really something they would have expected to hear him to say. Of course, Itachi was embarrassed, but he had no intention of showing it in front of his father or any adult for that matter, so he decided to be a smart aleck instead. It was working very well. "If you don't need me I will return to my patrol."

"Yes, of course. Off you go then." Fugaku replied, distracted.

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The formal dining room in Toshiro and Kisa's modest home was traditional in construction, but held a western style table and chairs made of a beautifully varnished cherry wood. It didn't really go with the room construction from a design standpoint, but for some reason, the combination of "old" and "new" made the room comfortable to be in, and it was a relaxing place to sit and talk. Dinner had ended a few minutes earlier and the kids had run off to the living room to play while Fugaku, Mikoto and Itachi remained to gossip with their hosts. Candle-light brightened the room as Toshiro filled four glasses with sake for the adults and one with orange juice for Itachi.

Itachi found it difficult to be in Shisui's house. Everywhere he looked reminded him of his cousin. Memories of the past played over and over in his mind and he had an overwhelming feeling that any minute now Shisui would walk into the room. In fact, the feeling was so strong that he suddenly turned his head to the doorway. The sharp intake of breath that followed caused everyone to stop talking and look at the teen who was staring intently at nothing.

"Do… do you feel it?" Kisa asked quietly.

"I just... I don't believe in ghosts… but… I thought... I felt…" Itachi was suddenly very uncomfortable. Only little kids believed in ghosts and he was thirteen. Way too old for such things. But why had he gotten such a strong feeling that Shisui was about to walk into the room? And why did it shock him when it didn't happen?

Kisa continued speaking, "When I was cleaning out Shisui's room and packing his things, Hinata was helping me and Hanabi and Konohamaru were sitting on the floor…"

"Just throw the clothes in the laundry basket, Hinata. I want to wash them before I donate them. The school is asking for clothes for the orphans." Kisa said, trying to sound cheerful.

"Okay." Hinata opened the dresser and started to carefully place the folded shirts and pants in the basket. Kisa went back to the armoire and pulled out a box. Opening it, she discovered it was full of toys.

"Looky here, Hanabi and Konohamaru. Toys!" Kisa placed the box in front of the toddlers.

"Yay! I like this one!" Hanabi pulled out a brightly colored post that had seven thick plastic rings stacked on it.

"I like this one!" Konohamaru pulled out a wooden duck with wheels.

Kisa turned back to the armoire and bent down to grab the next box when she had a sudden, overwhelming feeling that someone was standing behind her. She stood up quick and turned around, just in to time to witness Hanabi speaking.

"You like that one? I'll get it for you." Hanabi reached into the box and moved things around until a puzzle with twelve large, thick wooden pieces was revealed. It was a picture of a cat wearing a jacket, hat and boots. Kisa watched as the little girl held it above her head, as if showing it to someone taller than herself. She glanced over at Hinata and saw that the girl had activated her Byakugan and was staring intently in the direction of her little sister.

"What do you see?" Kisa was forced to whisper when her voice refused to speak at a louder level.

Hinata shook her head, "Nothing. But… I thought I felt something."

"Me too." Kisa admitted, "Hanabi, who are you talking to?"

"My friend!" The girl said cheerfully.

"I tried to get her to tell me more, but it could have just been an overactive imagination. Young children have imaginary friends and, well, going through my son's belongings was... I guess I also was wishing rather strongly that I could see him again." Kisa spoke softly. "But… I still keep getting this feeling…" She suddenly smiled and turned cheerful. "That reminds me, I have some things I wanted to give you, Itachi." She stood up and left the room, returning a couple minutes later with a medium sized box.

Kisa pulled out three magazines. "You can't have these, though. Can you believe a thirteen-year-old boy was hiding porn under his mattress? Where do kids that age get this stuff?"

Toshiro averted his eyes and yawned to hide his smile. He suspected Shisui's teammate, a boy a few years older than him, had been passing down his old magazines. Itachi watched as Kisa laid the magazines on the table next to the box. The cover of the top magazine was a blonde woman wearing a very scanty swim suit and hanging off a bar. He suddenly looked up at the clock.

"Kakashi wanted our squad to meet with him at nine. I need to leave now so I can change out of my formal clothes." Itachi tugged slightly on the hem of his dark blue yukata for emphasis.

"Of course. Thank-you for coming Itachi. I have missed having you over. Perhaps you can come more often." Kisa stood up with the intention of showing him out.

Itachi bowed politely, "Don't get up. I can let myself out. And thank-you for having me over. I enjoyed it. Father, Mother, I will see you later." He picked up the box and walked quietly out of the house.

Fifteen minutes later Mikoto stopped talking in the middle of a sentence and stared at the end of the table. "Where are the magazines?"

Mikoto and Kisa stared in shock and Fugaku and Toshiro broke out in fits of laughter. They knew where the magazines were. After all, they also knew that Kakashi was busy on a long-range patrol and wouldn't be back for two days.

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Itachi growled in frustration as he closed the third magazine and glared at the candle on his desk. "There wasn't anything in there about flexible women. What the hell was Jiraiya talking about?" He leaned back in his chair and stared at the shadows on the ceiling. "I wonder if Kakashi's apartment survived? He's got all of Jiraiya's books."

An hour later Itachi returned to his room. Kakashi's apartment hadn't survived, and neither had any of the bookstores. He stared at the magazines, still sitting on his desk, but was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard his father walk past his room. He sighed in resignation and opened his door.

"Father? I have a question." Itachi watched as the man turned around and looked at him with his usual serious expression. "Jiraiya said I was lucky because Sheeta is flexible. What did he mean by that?"

"Fugaku Uchiha! If you answer that you will regret it for the remaining thirty seconds of your life!" Mikoto yelled from behind Itachi, making both father and son jump.

"Ha, ha, ha!" Sasuke was now inside of Itachi's room, laughing. Naruto was standing next to him with a big smile on his face. "Itachi has pictures of naked people on his desk!"

"Itachi Uchiha! Explain yourself!" Mikoto was getting very angry and Sasuke and Naruto quickly decided that discretion was the better part of valor and ran off.

"I wanted to find out what Jiraiya was talking about. It's obvious it has something to do with sex." Itachi said defensively.

"And that is all you need to know." Mikoto grabbed the magazines off the desk and stalked off down the hall.

"That went well." Itachi said sarcastically.

"Humph. It could have been worse." Fugaku smirked and walked away.

Walking back into his room Itachi closed his door and stared at the candle for a minute before a big smile crossed his face. "Kisame will know the answer." Fishing his Akatsuki ring out of the secret compartment in the floor he slipped it on and concentrated on calling his blue-skinned companion.

"Hey Itachi, what's going on?" Kisame's voice projected into Itachi's mind.

"I have a question that I'm having trouble getting the answer to. I'm sure you probably know the answer, though."

"Hmm." Kisame's voice sounded suspicious, making Itachi wonder if the man had already guessed the subject matter.

Itachi spoke in a serious voice, "What does the following statement mean, 'You know what they say about flexible women'?"

"Any reason you can't ask your father?" Kisame said, suddenly sounding exhausted.

"Mother threatened to kill him if he answered."

"Ah! Well. Yeah, wives are like that." He paused, "Okay, I probably shouldn't tell you, but… what the hell. Someone's gotta teach you this stuff. Look for a book with the title 'Karma Sutra'. It has pictures. A flexible woman can do all the positions in that book."

"Oh… my father has that book… I've seen it somewhere…" Itachi said quietly.

"And if you get caught, I've never met you before." Kisame laughed before cutting the connection.

Itachi sighed and laid down on his bed. Chances were the book was no longer where he last saw it. His mother wasn't that stupid. It could take days to find it again. However, Kisame did answer his question so there really wasn't a reason to look for it. "That was sure a lot of work, though." He glanced at the clock. It was 11:15. Smirking, he stood up and opened the secret compartment and slid the ring back where it belonged, then pulled out three magazines. "I wonder how long until she realizes the ones she took are fakes?"

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Next week, Inoichi Yamanaka is healed up enough to interrogate Danzou. The results are quite surprising.

Okay, I had to write Itachi being a teenager. And really, I don't think it's too OOC because if someone said something to him that he didn't understand, I can easily see him going to great lengths to get the answer.

In "Itachi: The early years" Itachi had decided that for his birthday he wanted to kiss Sheeta. Unfortunately, a couple minutes later Jiraiya showed up and interrupted them. So, that's what Jiraiya meant when he ran caught them kissing again in this chapter.

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