Chapter 10: Cold Dreams, Not Hearts Part 1
Luckily, the rest of our stay at Konoha was short lived. I spent the rest of my days following the trail of the sun or just hanging around the forest near the edge of the city, like a silly little shadow. Gaara was still ignoring, and now that Cat Man had realized that I was not in love with him, he was braving his best to still talk to me, but I could tell he was hurt. Rejection is hard for everybody.
Of course, Gaara was still not talking to me either. Every day, it seemed, he just stalked off before any of us got up and didn't return until late into the night when everybody was getting ready to call it a day. I tried my best to say something to him, but every time I tried to say something to him, I would just swallow it and stare at my feet. (Well, more like my boobs since that's the closest and hugest thing in distance to my face.)
Temari, of course, was off with Shikamaru each day or was off in some other world when she came back, even though she tried not to show it. What the two of them could do together for almost a week and not get bored made me wonder. (Now that I think about, I don't want to know what they've been doing. Stupid friends who've tainted me!!)
Finally, the day that the four of us were supposed to leave. The weather seemed to notice all of our attitudes and gave us a big canopy of gray clouds to show us that they knew that most of us weren't all happy and sunny inside. Well, all waited at the gate as the rest of our friends together around us and tell us goodbye.
"Well, I'm going to miss you all!" Kiba said, throwing his arms around me. "Especially you, twin sis! You're not going to mysteriously disappear anytime soon, right?"
"I hope not." I said in a forced happy voice. "I missed seeing you all too much. Especially you, twin bro!"
He laughed and gave me one last hug and Akamaru jumped in and licked my face with his big slobbery dog tongue. I wiped it off and pet the dog on the head, making him bark happily. Tenten gave me a hug as well and I gave the rest of the group their farewells too. Nobody seemed to notice that I was really sad, maybe because they thought I was sad that we had to leave. Truthfully, I was sad that we were leaving, but not that sad.
"Hey Esther, you know this girl right?" Kankuro said, pulling my attention back to reality.
I looked over at him and saw Temari standing beside him with Erin attached to his neck, smiling widely. She had one of her hands trying to pull his hair band out, because she loved it when he had his hair down. (Sigh.. such a fangirl..)
"Sadly, yes." I said, smiling a little bit. "Her name is Erin. As you can plainly see, she's.. um.. attached to you."
"Attached?" Shikamaru said, with a laugh. "I think that's an understatement. She more like linked to me until death, which is probably going to be very soon if she doesn't let go of my neck. So troublesome."
Erin laughed and let go of him for a second, attaching herself to his arm while he took a deep breath. "I found him!The deer hunt is over!" She cried, pointing at me. "I'm staying with Shikamaru."
I smiled. "Have fun."
Shikamaru stared at me. "Are you serious? You making this crazy curly haired woman stay with me?"
"What?" I said, shrugging. "She'll have more fun if she stayed with you. Plus, you'll have someone to keep you company while Temari is gone."
He just looked at me and sighed. "Whatever. All women are troublesome."
Erin gave a smile and just waved at me. "Have fun in the sand. Be sure to write!"
I nodded. "You too. I wanna know how you got into this crazy world also."
Well, all the goodbyes I wanted to make were over so I walked back to where Temari was standing, staring at Shikamaru with a small smile playing on her lips. Suddenly, someone came over and smacked me on the shoulder. I turned around and there was Naruto.
"Hey! Do I not get a goodbye or what?" He asked,a big grin on his face. (Typical blonde fox boy.)
"Of course you do." I said, giving him a hug.
"Don't be sad." He whispered into my ear. "Gaara's not at fault, and neither are you. Work through it and break the darkness between you two."
"Huh?" I asked as we let go.
He just smiled and patted my head, and pushed me back towards Temari and Kankuro. He gave a small wave, then ran back into the group, going to talk to Sakura. I just watch him go, a frown creasing my face as I tried to figure out what he wasn't telling me.
"Well, we should be off." Kankuro said, addressing the group. "Have fun while we're away and don't throw too many awesome parties."
"Whatever!" Tenten said, throwing her hands onto her hips. "You're just jealous that the ninjas of Konoha really have partying in our blood. You people got sand in your brains from being stuck in the desert for too long."
"Watch it, girl." Temari said, a devilish grin on her face. "We're still better ninjas than you are, or have you forgotten?"
It was silent for a moment, then everybody started to laugh. I just looked between all of my friends and smiled. No matter where they where from, they would still be friends.
We gave one last wave to Konoha and started on our long, three day journey back to the Sand. It was a really silent walk back the first day as we walked through a small drizzle of rain. Finally, we finally had to stop being it was getting to dark and made camp in a little thicket of trees in the middle of the forest, a little way from the path that led back to the Sand.
Kankuro sent his puppets into the forest to gather some wood and the four of us sat around a small fire, drinking tea. All of us were staring into our own cups, thinking of something to say.
"Well." Kankuro said, finally breaking the silence. "It was a nice vacation."
Nice? Well, he was sure straining himself. I would have put it more as horrible, dark, or something along those lines.
"Yeah." Temari said, smiling to herself. "It was nice to break free and party."
"We shouldn't forget where we belong, though." Gaara said, being the straightforward one like always. "I have a feeling that from now on, we won't be doing much partying anymore. Kazekages don't party and trained ninjas need to stick to their duties."
"What about Esther?" Temari asked, jokingly. "She doesn't fit any of those two job occupations."
"Truthfully, I don't care what Esther does." He said, staring into the fire. "She's not important if she doesn't fit one of those two guidelines."
I felt my tea cup fall to the ground and hit my feet with a loud thud, spilling the warm tea on my feet. I saw Temari and Kankuro get up from their places around the fire and come closer to me. Before they could say anything, I got up abruptly and stared at my feet.
"Sorry guys, I guess I'm just really tired. I'm heading off to bed, so I guess I'll see you in the morning, alright?" I said, trying to sound unaffected by what Gaara had said.
The two of them just stared at me for a moment, then nodded, unsure of what to say. I turned around and walked briskly toward my tent, the tears spilling down my face. I slipped into my blankets and just cupped my face, sobbing for the second time this week.
Suddenly, I heard Kankuro's voice loudly though the air, though I couldn't tell what he was saying. Then, Temari's voice rang through as well, and I knew then that she would have the final word to whatever was happening. There was a loud thud as something hit one of the small piles of wood we had been sitting on, then all was silent again. I just sat there for a second, and finally just drifted into a joyless sleep.
The world around lay dark as I ran along a river bed. I was looking up into the sky, looking for some sort of light, but of course there was nothing. I followed the flow of the river, and finally halted as I saw something floating in the water.
As I approached it, I realized what it was. There, stuck between two large rocks was the body of Kankuro, pale as moonlight on a summer night. His hat was gone and his dark blood was flowing in little streams along with the river. I fell to the ground, staring at his pain stricken face.
"K..Kankuro?" I managed to breath out, staring at the dead body.
Suddenly, I heard someone running inside the forest beside me, but they were too far away for me to see who they were. Finally, I heard the person call out, and I realized that the person was Temari.
"Gaara?! Kankuro?!" She called, her voice ringing loud and clear as if she was right next to me.
I tried calling out to her, to let her know that I had found Kankuro. Of course, when IO needed my voice the most, it wouldn't come out. Why couldn't I tell her?! She needed my help!
I sat there, dark tears falling down my face. As I sat crying, Somebody came and stood in front of me. I looked up through my tears to see that it was Gaara, his eyes so dark and so cold it felt like they were the ones controlling this moonless night. He pointed at me and locked his gaze with mine.
"Worthless girl." He said, coming closer, picking me up by the hairs on my head. "If I kill you now, no one will care. It will be an end to all of my sorrows, all of my hatred. You and Kankuro can be together forever, just like he wanted."
I tried to scream, and pull away, but of course he was too strong. He looked into my eyes one last time, and threw me into the river. As I fell, I notice a change in his eyes, and he reached back out to grab me, but he was too late. My head hit the back of the large rock closest to the river bed and I melted into the dark, moonless night.
I woke up with a start in my dark tent. I threw off my blankets in a hurry, and ran out of my tent. The night was as dark as the night in my dream, and I started to panic. What if the dream was warning me about something?
The ground outside was really damp and muddy, meaning it must have rained while we were all sleeping. It really didn't matter though, because I just had to get away, anywhere. I just broke out into a dash and ran in a straight path, dodging a tree here and there. I don't know how long I had been running, but it felt good. It wiped away all of my fears, and I just had to keep feeling of the wind against my skin. Suddenly, a stray tree root caught my left ankle and sent me tumbling over myself in a split second.
"Owch." I cringed, looking at my bloody leg. "Such a klutz."
I staggered to get up, and it hurt a lot, but I knew that it wasn't broken, thankfully. With a two day journey left to the sand, the last thing that I needed was a broken ankle. With a heavy sigh, I went back over the root and followed my path back tour small camp. A couple times, I thought that I was lost, and had thought about screaming, but in the end decided that it would be better to keep going until I decided that I was truly lost.
Soon enough, I saw a small fire through a clearing of trees that I recognized. I walked closer and saw that Gaara was sitting alone, staring intently at the fire, his hands crossed tightly, as if he was deep in thought. Finally, he got up and faced my direction, and noticed that I was there. We both didn't say anything for a moment, the he finally spoke up.
"Where the heck have you been?" He said coldly, crossing his arms.
"I-I just went for a walk." I said, trying not to cry.
"A walk? Before daybreak? Give me a break, Esther. " Gaara said, shaking his head. "You're such an idiot."
"Well, if that's all you have to say to me, I'm going back to sleep." I said, cringing as I took a couple of steps back towards my tent.
"Not so fast." He said. "Your leg is bleeding."
"Yeah, I know, stupid. I'm not blind." I said coldly, still walking at my slow pace. "By Boggy, I thought you knew that I had at least the sense to know that I'm hurt."
He didn't say anything for a moment, the he just grabbed me deftly and pulled me to a pile of logs beside the fire. It felt good to have that heat after running in a cold temperature through a forest. He just squatted down next to me and inspected my leg.
"What the heck did you do to yourself?" He asked amazed, staring at the blood.
"Tripped." I said, crossing my arms. "Unimportant people do that, you know."
"Stop being such a.. a girl." He said, his choice of vocabulary falling short. "Just shut up while I bandage you up."
I just sat there, while he got up and sauntered back to his tent. He came back carrying a roll of gauze and a container of water. He got down on his knees and started cleaning up my leg, while I just sat and stared at his bright red hair. Why was he being so cold to me all of a sudden? What did I do to deserve this?
I didn't want this. I wanted us to be on the terms we were before. Friends, even lovers. Even if he didn't show it, I knew that he still loved me during those times. Now, it made me doubt. If he was treating me like this, was there even a little part of me that still pierced his heart?
I started to hiccup as a fresh batch of tears (Second time this day. Biggest record of crying here in the world of Naruto) fell down my face. I just wiped them away with the back of my hands as they fell onto my cheeks in warm little streams. He looked up at me and then back to his work, as if he didn't care that I was crying.
"Why are you crying? Does it really hurt that bad?" He asked, tying up the last piece of gauze that was wrapped around my ankle.
"No." I managed to get out between hiccups.
He didn't say anything again, as he got up. He just turned around and walked back to his tent with the things he had brought out. He returned a split second later, and squatted down next to me again, inspecting my ankle.
"Looks like you didn't hurt it too bad. That's good news since we still have two days left until the Sand, and we don't need anything slowing us down."
I just nodded, and wiped my face again. He just came up to my eye level and just stared at me. Then, he got up and sat next to me, his attention back onto the fire. He finally just scooted over slightly, and draped one of his arms around me. I started crying harder, and threw myself onto him, crying into his tunic. He just shook for a second, then just sat there perfectly still.
After a few minutes, I finally got a headache and stopped crying because I felt like my eyes were going to pop out of my head and explode. I finally just leaned my head against him and looked up at the fire and its warm orange glow. I just watched the slow embers go from darkness to a warm red glow against the sky, rebelling against the shade of black all around them.
"Go back to bed." He said, looking into the fire as well.
"What about you? You should be sleeping, too."
He gave a sigh. "I don't sleep much, or have you not figured that out by now?"
"I guess not." I murmured, rubbing my face. "I want to stay by the fire for a while, if that's alright with you. I'm not that sleepy, yet."
He didn't respond, but I was kind of glad. I just wanted to sit here in his arms, watching the embers glow all around us, warming my skin with its warmth and keeping me awake with its light. I started to hum silently, staring into the trees, and after a long while, I lost all of my strength to stay awake, so I just closed my eyes and listened to the wood pop quietly as the flames consumed them at slow but greedy pace.
AN: Yay!! Part of the super long chappie is up! I was gonna post it all up at once, but it's over 14 pages.... No funny-funny stuff for a little while, but it'll be back soon, I hope! Please Review!