Author's Note: Jeez, I am such a mean author. I feel so sorry for Jadis. On the bright side, however, I successfully made bread today. And it was tasty, too! A few friends were over and between them and my dad and his girlfriend the entire loaf was downed in about an hour or two. That makes me happy. It makes me laugh, too, now I think of it, but it also makes me happy as a cook.
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Darkness fell that night and Jadis was swept away in memories. Soon the primal need of sleep overtook him and to that he fell, but his horrors haunted him even in sleeping. He was young in this dream. Four, perhaps, and he had come back late from playing in the woods with his friends. A hand loomed overhead of him and grabbed him by the hair, pulling him upwards. He screamed and screamed but his cries weren't asnwered. He whimpered and plead to his torturer for forgiveness, for the pain to stop but nothing he could say or do would make it stop. The worst part was not understand why he was hated so much by this person. It was because he was being bad. He would never be bad again if only it could make it stop. He was set down and was forced to lay on the floor. Then he was hit, and hit until he was bruised and hurt and he didn't feel human anymore. Why didn't he love him? Childish tears dripped from his eyes and he was kicked harder. "Men don't cry!" he was told.
It stopped, and leather boots walked away from the beaten boy. He struggled to breathe. What would Mommy say? Did Mommy still love him? Or was she like Daddy? He relaxed on the cold stone floor. It hurt too much to move, anyway. There were footsteps nearing him and he tensed, readying himself for another beating, but this time the feet sounded small and dainty. A woman, not a man. Was it Mommy? He forced an eye open. No, it couldn't be Mommy. The figure in a fine white dress knelt down and gently picked him up.
"Jadis?" she asked as the little boy rested against her warm body. "Who did this to you?" he was sure she knew, so he didn't answer. Daddy had told him before, if he ever said a word... When he didn't answer she said, "I'll take you to Mommy." Jadis was too weak to argue, and only fell asleep to the gently rocking movements of her walk. The door was opened and he heard his sister talk to Mommy. "What should I do?" she asked.
"I don't care Clarissa. Take him to the nurse, I guess. Do you know what he did this time?" she asked, sounding completely preoccupied. Jadis felt Clarissa's body stiffen in anger under him.
"No, but it looks like someone beat him up." she said tersely to her mother. Mommy laughed.
"Silly boy, always getting into fights. You may go now." he heard her say and he felt his heart sink. Mommy didn't care either. He only had Clarissa. He felt her walking again and she soon spoke to a servant to get a healer, then sat on one of the house's comfortable couches.
"Clari?" he whimpered, needing to know the answer to his fervent question.
"Yeah, Jadis?" she replied.
"Do you love me?" he asked, a note of desperation in his voice. She held him tightly to her and gave him a light kiss on the head.
"Yes Jadis, I love you." he relaxed at these words, sure now that everything would be okay now that Clari loved him.
Basked in the bittersweet light of the memory Jadis relaxed in his sleep. Then the peaceful image of his golden sister began to slip from his fingers and fade into a clearer image of just a few years ago. He was reading outside on his porch, out of the corner of his eye watching the distant horse-back riders galloping through the forrest and feeding his over-active imagination. He was reading a good book, his favorite. A figure stood up on their horse and called out to him. "Jadis! I'm going to do a leap!" he heard. She could be very loud when she wanted to. He grinned and got up to watch by the railing. Clarissa was an amazing rider. She was riding, galloping, faster and faster and jumped over a wide creek, but then the horse's hoof hit a rock and it fell off balance and heavily hit the ground and hit the ground. Jadis's eyes widened in alarm. Where was Clari? Then he spotted her, her head bleeding and cracked on top of the fatal rock. He screamed. No, this wasn't happening. Not to Clari, not his beacon of light in the world that to him was so bleak and dim. He screamed again and ran and ran. He got a servant, yelling he told them to get a healer, to get a healer! He ran and ran to the stables and got up onto his horse in such a fervent rush that the horse could only pick up on his fear and speed. He stopped the horse as he reached his sister. Her friends were picking her up, but she was already dead. The pointy rock had cracked open her head. She wasn't even Clari anymore, and blood spilled into the water. Vomit swept into his throat and he vomited. His sister was dead.
No! Not Clari! But she was, she was dead and it was all over. He was all alone in this dim, lonely world. He fell to his knees and cried. He was all alone.
He was up in a cold sweat, his breathing harsh. He pinched himself. He didn't want to remember, he couldn't remember, not this. He jumped from his bed and paced the room and tried to rid himself of the memory of Clari's dead, limp body. He needed something to drink. Something hot and relaxing. He walked out into the kitchen to prepare something.
"Couldn't sleep either?" Lati had her sun browned hands around a ceramic mug, mint tea eminating from it, Her hazel eyes flashed over him, and then looked away, "I heard you trying not to scream, if that makes any sense. Who's Clari?"
"My sister." he said, and helped himself to some mint tea. "She died." he explained.
"Oh, I'm sorry." Lati contemplated this, "Was she your only sister? I mean you don't have to tell me, I know I wouldn't want anyone to ask my about my dad- I mean sister, if she died. You can tell me to be quiet."
"Yeah she was my only sister..." he sat next to her and looked into her eyes, looking for someone whose heart shared a likeness to his. Would she understand? "Did your father die?" he asked.
"Yeah, Raiders killed him, and my mother before him. It seemed that everyone who loved me was suddenly gone and I was left all alone in a world with no-one to care whether I lived or died. It's the emptiest feeling in the world." she paused, maybe seeing something in his eyes, "Isn't it?"
He nodded. It was. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, for once feeling completely sincere.
"I don't... talk that much, I don't know what to say. I mean, how do you take all this emotion in your body and turn it into words, into sounds?" she said. Jadis had to agree with her words.
"You don't." it was simple really. After all, who really cared how much you suffered? You were just one person. Someone insignificant too. He was.
"I'm going to watch the sunrise. You can come too if you want. But be quiet." Istead of going up the stairs and stepping from her window ledge onto the roof, Lati went outside, the dew helping her grip the walls of the building.
"I'll meet you at the top," he said with a half-hearted smile and went up to the roof the more conventional way. It was quicker too, he found as he nestled himself into his seat. It was pretty amazing though, how she could just climb up a wall like that. He could never do it. He could ride horses going forty miles an hour, he could pin someone with a sword, but he would never be able to do that.
"I love being on top of everything," Lati said, more to herself than him, she was seated with her arms around her knees resting her head on her knees. "I love sunrises."
He agreed with her. It was strange though, how every word she spoke resonated in him. It meant something. It was true, not only for her, but for him too. He gave a tentative nod. "They're more than just beautiful, it's the world starting itself all over again." He found himself entranced. The world's wonders had left him breathless since he could see. They had always made him feel important somehow.
Lati stretched back, sprawling on the roof, watching the stars disappear. "This isn't where I pictured myself. I thought I'd be at home, with my hair long and with my dad and the apples would be coming out, and we'd roast them on special nights. I din't think for even one second that I'd end up in winding circle, able to do magic." she paused, "I don't think I can do magic."
"Me neither. Moonstream says I do, but I've never done anything magical before. What kind of magic do they say you have?" he asked.
"Academic, Plant." Lati shrugged, the shingles of the roof cold and a little rough through her night gown, "I really don't feel different, I mean, I remember hurting someone, faintly, but nothing else. I could have done as much with my fists or nails."
"When?" he asked, feeling curious. It vaguely occured to him to think of where Scatter was right now. He hoped she was sleeping well.
"I have an idea." Lati said, ignoring him completely, "Lets meditate, I saw some dedicates doing it and I want to try, see what happens." Jadis smiled, having done that same avoidence tactic many a time. Never the one to go against the general consensus, he shrugged.
"Sure, I guess." he said, struggling to remember how they had done it. He crossed his legs, then put them back in fear that he would fall of the roof. He closed his eyes and relaxed his breathing. What was the count again? Five in, seven out? Yes, that was it. In, out, in out. Occasionally his dreams would surface into his mind, but then he would push them back. An exmpty mind was a controlled one, and if anyone had control it was him.
Lati closed her eyes, focused on her breathing. She resisted the urge to hum along with a bee far away. Inhale, exhale. Breath in, out, in, out. Slowly she relaxed, feeling each muscle loosen. Then she fell asleep.
Feeling relaxed he opened his eyes. Everything around him seemed to glow. It was like he was a newborn child, the whole world was new and good. He felt calm and relaxed. He turned his head to face Lati. She was sleeping. He grinned and nudged her. "You missed the sunrise."
"Nu-uh." came her sleepy response, "I felt it. It was beautiful." With sleepy steps she stood up, "We better start getting back down before Lark Gets worried."
Jadis gripped her arm and gently led her down to the attic. He didn't think it was quite safe for her to be climbing walls in this state. Down from the attic they meandered into the kitchen where the smell of mint filled the air. Neither of them had finished their teas.