A/N Twilight and all it's characters remain the creation and property of Stephanie Meyer. I just use them in my little puppet theatre mind. Please review if you would be so kind xxx xxx
Chapter 10
I finished up my work for the day whilst Bella waited around out on the office floor.
She was a grown woman and managed, perfectly well, to occupy herself, while I was unavailable.
When I had eventually left my office, I had found her sat surrounded by a small gathering of my office staff. I heard only a few of the ridiculously absurd questions being asked of her.
"And you don't even know where you live?" Rose asked incredulously.
"Bella." The commandment was clear in my voice and enough to get her attention. "It's time to leave."
"I have to go." She offered politely, as she stood; smoothing the back of her maroon dress down behind her.
She collected up all of her shopping bags, from where they had been kept safe on Rose's desk, and followed me to the elevator; waving back towards the crowed and sharing with them goodbyes that would have been befitting those of good friends.
The concept was alien to me.
I had acquaintances and associates but no one that I would actually call friend.
Friendships were unproductive and made people feel vulnerable. They weakened a person's resolve.
I did not have the time in my life for such wasted effort.
My life was all about my work, to strive to be the best.
And I was almost there.
I was a cat lover, but having Bella following, in my wake, made me wonder if that was what it would be like to have a dog.
A thought I was none too keen on.
She was so silent when she walked that I had to keep turning around to make sure she was still following my lead; though for a fleeting moment, I had hoped to turn around and her be miraculously gone; vanished, along with my debt to her.
Eventually we made it to my car and settled in, ready for me to drive home.
We had driven for a whole twenty minutes and not once had she opened her mouth or tried to engage me in any kind of conversation. "I feel I should apologies for my Sister..." I started, finally obtaining her attention.
She looked at me quizzically. "Why would you? Your Sister is a lovely person." She retorted.
"My Sister is many things Bella," I began, "Her biggest trait is being a shopaholic. I have only ever once been on a trip such as yours with her. She had an irrational need to buy a rare, limited edition, Vivian Westwood evening gown. The elusive dress turned my mild mannered sibling into a raging maniac; I assure you the sight was quite disturbing. If she exhibited such behaviour while on your outing today, then that would, indeed, be need for me to apologies to you, on her behalf."
Bella sniggered through pursed lips.
"I would have to agree that her passion for shopping is a little...Crazy." She finally chuckled. "But I can get over that, because she's been nothing but nice to me."
I gave a quick sideways glace at her, but her attention had been turned to the view of the city lights of Seattle.
She seemed mesmerized by them for the duration of our journey, and returned to her previously silent thoughts.
I was baffled by the sheer contrast in her demeanour, compared to that of the previous day. I had found only aggravation in her constant prattle of insignificance, then. Yet there she sat, quietly smiling at the Christmas lights that littered the trees and adorned the many establishments lining the sidewalks.
I followed her gaze for a second when she finally emitted a small and barely audible 'Woah' as we passed the Space Needle that was lit up, in all of its controversial glory.
"Have you ever been to the Observatory at the top of the Needle?" I enquired.
"I don't know. I can't remember." Her brow furrowed in confusion, as if she were trying desperately to draw on any kind of memory she might have; about anything, not just the tower.
She eventually threw her head back against the rest and turned her gaze back to the window to resume her silence.
This time when I chanced a glance at her, her reflection told a different tale. It was the same one of her that I had seen while she was in the hospital.
The memory of her, wiping her noiseless tears cascading down, over the porcelain skin of her cheek, was blurred with the one before me; seemingly impossible to tell the two scenes from one another.
I coughed to clear the choking feeling in my throat.
The only sound that breached the silence was that of Bella's stomach growling almost viciously.
"Oh god, how embarrassing!" she mumbled under her breathe.
I caught her peeking from the corner of her eyes and rolled my own.
"When did you last eat?" I enquired; making the decision there and then to make a detour for food.
"Um, I had a veggie burger for lunch. That was about one o'clock this afternoon.
The digital read out in my car claimed it to be past seven pm in the evening.
"That was over six hours ago, you must be starving." I realised, that she had hardly been in a position to obtain food, since being in my sister's presence, unless it was by means of shoplifting or begging, and I had failed, seeing as though I didn't eat much, myself, to consider that she would need to eat.
All the good feelings I had had throughout the day evaporated as I realised I had not planned for such instances, and felt like a complete asshole.
We stopped at a little Italian place and rectified the situation. I ordered mushroom ravioli to go and Bella decided that it smelled delicious and had opted for the same.
I was not a man to eat out of pizza parlours or fast food chains, as I liked, freshly prepared foods, rather than chemically altered, calorific, processed slop, that they tried to pass off as edible; nor was I one for getting a take out, with the intention of eating it once I got home.
It had been a first.
The Italian restaurant that we bought food from was a mere five minutes from my apartment and, luckily, the food was still piping hot, by the time we had set out plates at my dining table.
"Do you think, in your life before, that maybe you had been vegetarian?" I asked from the far end of the table, without looking up from my plate.
"I don't know." She shrugged, while sniffing the ravioli speared on the tines of her fork; blowing it as a child would to encourage it to cool quicker.
"You don't appear to have eaten any form of meat since your arrival in our lives, I was wondering if it was a personal trait of yours, from before I hi... your accident." I deduced; turning my own attention back to my food.
"Do you think that, maybe, you were an, actual, normal person before?" She quizzed.
My eyes swiftly met hers from across the table.
"Excuse me?"
"You know... a normal person. One, that didn't always sound so pretentious when having a conversation with another person?" She quipped.
Without another word, I rose to my feet and walked away from the table; over to the window.
Bella remained seated, but looked up in my wake-fork stilled in mid air.
"I...I was Joking." She finally stuttered out woefully.
She carefully placed her fork back down on her plate, before pushing back from the table.
Her foot steps must have been silent as she approached me cautiously.
I refused to turn and face her, instead, I chose to stare out towards the Space Needle, remembering earlier, feeling a small amount of compassion for her.
I would not be so gracious following her remarks.
"Edward, I'm sorry. That was very insensitive of me and I should not have made such a cruel, personal, assumption of you. You've shown me nothing but kindness and I'm sure, someone out there, somewhere, would chastise me for being so blasé.
"In answer to your question, I just liked the smell of those foods I ate."
She infuriated me; yet, I could not help but soften a little at her admission. Her apology was laced with sincerity.
"I realise that I'm encroaching on your personal life, and hope you can understand, that, this is just as strange, and frustrating for me, as it is for you. I feel so lost right now. I can't answer questions about my life before we met, because I can't recall any of it. Do you have any idea, what it's like, to not know yourself? I don't know whether I'm alone in this world, or if there's someone out there searching for me. I don't know if I'm as alone in my world, as you are in yours."