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Chapter 10
She didn't know what to do. She's lost. It's been three days and he has forced himself on her three times. No matter how badly she rebelled, he would still win and have his way on her body, as if she were created only for sex. He has turned completely into a monster and she is very frightened of him, but part of her craves his presence, she hates that feeling. How can you crave the presence of someone who has damaged you mentally and physically, it just doesn't make sense. But again, nothing is doesn't make sense in Wizard World.
For three days she tried to divert her pain by having great conversations with Narcissa. Most of their topics are about the pure-blood society. To be honest, she wasn't interested at all, but she pretended to distract her mind. Narcissa has also hired several workers from the salon to do her nails and hair in preparation for the Winter Ball. The color of her nail polish is very similar to blood; sometimes she thinks it is dried blood.
She glanced over her shoulder at his sleeping form. He's handsome, she thought. She is not as innocent as people think, if he had behaved unlike his Lord, she was more than willing to be his, she knew he would be a good man if not for the darkness that controlled his soul. Poor man, never knowing that light can bring a better life, she muses. Somehow she wished she could save him from the darkness.
She loosened his arms around her waist since her bladder needs to be emptied. She untangled his arms easily and made her way carefully toward the bathroom. After she finishes with her bladder and washes her hands in a sink, she spotted a razor. She believed it was his. She doesn't know why she's so interested in his razor, maybe because it's shining and she loves things that shine.
She grabs it and stares at it for a moment, running her forefinger against the blade. How easy this thing make her bleed, just like the owner, she thought dully. She doesn't know what has possessed her. She has told herself that life is a gift and she shouldn't waste her life. But it is a lie, just like all the creatures she always mentioned, they are just a lie.
She put a razor on her left wrist, right on her pulse. She pressed a bit and blood dripped from her wrist. She was stunned. This time she pressed harder. Her blood had dripped on the bathroom floor and began to pools. She never knew that the color of her blood was so beautiful. If she knew the color of her blood as beautiful as this, she would do it from yesterday.
She sat on the floor and leaned against the bathtub, staring blankly ahead. Dead is not difficult, she thought as she counted how long she would last.
One, two, three, four, five, six...
He stirred when not feeling her warm body against his. He's used to sleeping with her on his arms, so when she's gone too long, he'll know. He opened his eyes and found that she had gone. He glanced toward the bathroom, the bathroom lights on. She may be taking care of her bladder, he thought. So he waited. But he was impatient. He decided to check it out.
"Luna," he called in a hoarse voice. But she doesn't answer and she always answers every time he calls her. She always obeyed.
He noticed the bathroom door slightly open and he opened it wider without hesitation. He has seen her naked so why bother. His eyes enlarged in horror at the sight of her. She sits unconscious and her blood pools on the floor of the bathroom.
"Luna." He grabs her sounders and shakes her body. Her body was getting cold. How long has she been like this? He noticed her wounded wrist; he also saw his bloody razor. She tried to kill herself.
He picked her up in his arms and called Dipsy, he asked Dipsy to bring a Healer who used to check Luna. He lays her down on the bed and hugs her tightly. "Luna, Luna, Luna," he whispered her name repeatedly like a spell wishing she heard him and opened her eyes. He is so afraid that he will lose her. "You can't die, you cannot die. You can't leave me, no, you can't," he whispered and kissed her temple.
He knew this was his fault. He has treated her very badly, and she doesn't deserve to be treated like that. But he was very angry and felt betrayed. So he tries to make her feel what he feels. But he doesn't expect her to take too far and try to kill herself, he never expects her to do that, never!
"Dipsy!" He bellowed angrily. The house elf appeared in fear. "Where's the damn Healer?" He asked roughly. He's been waiting like forever and the Healer hasn't arrived yet!
"The Healer headed for Master Draco's room. The Healer is being guided by Rikka," Dipsy responded in fear and his small body trembled. And right after that there was a knock. He orders the Healer to enter.
"Mr. Malfoy," the Healer greeted him.
"Save her," Draco said without greeting him back. He doesn't want to greet the Healer; he wants him to save Luna.
"I will, Mr. Malfoy. But if you don't mind can you wait outside?" The Healer, Walian, said. He always felt intimidated to the Malfoys.
"No, I will not wait outside. This is my home, so I can wherever I want," he said stubbornly, refusing to release Luna's increasingly cold body.
"Please, Mr. Malfoy, it's just a moment, I'll make sure she's okay," Walian said kindly, although he could see the girl in his arms almost picked up by the angel of death."I need space," he added.
"Fine," Draco spat, "but you better save her," he said as he walked out of the room.
As long as he waits, he can't stop pacing. He was very worried and afraid. What if he was too late to save her, what if Walian couldn't save her, what if he lost her again? The question filled his head and made him dizzy. He can't lose her, no, he can't. He will not allow her to leave him.
"Fuck," he cursed irritably. He kept glancing at the door and wondering why he had been so long. Then the door opened. "How is she?" He asked.
"She lost enough blood. It's a relief that you found her faster, otherwise I will not be able to save her," Walian said.
"But is she all right?" He asked.
"Yes, Mr. Malfoy. She may sleep longer than usual, but when she wakes up, make sure she drinks this." Walian handed him a vial."It will make her heal faster."
Draco grabs the vial. "All right," he muttered. "Don't tell this accident to anyone," he threatened.
"I will not tell the privacy of my patients to anyone, Mr. Malfoy," Walian replied kindly, though feeling a little intimidated.
"Good then. Send the bill and I'll pay you in the morning." Draco dismissed him.
"I will, good evening, Mr. Malfoy," Walian said as he made his way out with guidance from Dipsy.
As soon as Walian's back was disappeared from his sight, he reentered the room and found that her wrist had been bandaged. He lay beside her and hugged her, her body still cold against his body, but her heartbeat beat normally, not like before that was beating weakly. He can breathe in relief this time. He took her hand and kissed her knuckles. Then his lips moved to her forehead, each eye, her temple, her cheek, and her lips, he kissed her gently. He's afraid he'll hurt her if he's too rough.
"I'll take care of you," he whispered. "I'll take care of you forever." He swears.
As the morning approaches, he doesn't even leave her side; he leaves only when he is showering and having breakfast, after that he returns to look after her. He holds her tightly in his arms, stroking her hair, kissing her face. He waits patiently for her. He wasn't willing to go anywhere. He wants to be the first person she sees when she wakes up. Fortunately, the Dark Lord gave him permission not to go to work. Besides, there is not much to do; people are busy preparing for the Winter Ball.
He glanced at the window. The snow had begun to fall since the morning, but not too heavy, but the air was getting colder. He tightens the blanket around Luna's body and his, making sure she feels cozy even while sleeping. Then she started stirred and opened her eyes. She blinked a few times.
"Hey," he whispered and kissed her temple. She looked at him for a moment and opened her mouth, but no sound came out. She cleared her throat several times, trying to get her voice back. He grabbed a glass of water and helped her sit down. "I'll help you." He supports her head and she starts drinking.
"Thank you, Draco," she murmured hoarsely. What happened last night? Did she try to kill herself? She can't remember. But the bandage around her wrist answered her question. So she really did it. Did Draco save her? She doesn't know how to feel. Should she be happy because he saved her or she should be sad?
"How do you feel?" Draco asked gently, pulling her against his chest. "Are you hungry?"
"Yes," she replied weakly. She's really hungry, she can't remember the last time she felt this hungry.
"I have asked Dipsy to prepare food for you, ahh... about time," he said as Dipsy landed in the room with a tray. Draco grabbed a tray from Dipsy and placed the tray on Luna's lap before he dismissed Dipsy. "Let me do that," he said, reaching for the knife from her hand. He can't let her be near sharp items, she might try to slice her wrist again or even her neck. After he finishes cutting the meat into small pieces, he hands the fork at her and puts the knife away from her outreach.
"Thank you, Draco," she muttered. She understands why he doesn't let her touch the knife; she can't even trust herself to touch the knife.
"Hmm," he replied as he nuzzled his nose against her temple. "Don't do that again," he whispered. She glances at him as if she doesn't understand what he means, but Draco knows better. "Never do that again. Do you understand, Luna?" This time his tone was firm, almost threatening.
"I understand," she replied. "I'm sorry." She doesn't even understand why she should apologize.
"What if I find you late? Do you even think of that?" He asks sounds a little arrogant, after all, he's the one who saved her, so he feels proud.
Luna shook her head weakly. "Thank you for saving me." She knew it was what he wanted to hear. She was used to stroking his ego, it almost became her routine.
He smirked in satisfaction. "Finish your food, then drink this. Walian said this will make you heal faster." He grabbed the vial from his pocket and put it on the nightstand.
She just nodded again and finished her food. He handed the vial to her and drank the liquid quickly, the potion burning her throat for a moment that made her feel uncomfortable.
"Do you want a bath? I'm going to ask Dipsy to draw a bath for you," Draco offered softly.
"Bath sounds good," she murmured. Maybe a bath will make her feel better.
Then, Draco snapped his finger, called Dipsy and asked the house elf to draw a bath for Luna. After Dipsy is done, he leads her to the bathroom carefully. He helps her to release her nightgown and helps her step into the bathtub.
"Call me if you need help," he told her and kisses her lips gently. "I'll wait outside," he said before leaving her alone.
Luna sighed heavily and leaned her back. She could feel how her muscles felt slacker and more relaxed than yesterday. Lately, she felt very tense and makes her muscles feel sore, but she knows not only because she is tense she feels sore.
She stayed in the water for a while and cleaning her whole body, she also washed her hair. Draco has put a charm on her wrist, so it will not get wet. After she was done, she stepped out of the bathtub and grabbed her bathrobe. As she passes the sink, she can't help but look for Draco's razor, but that's not there anymore, he may hide it. She shakes her head and pushes her thought away; her parents will be disappointed if she thinks of killing herself again.
As she steps out of the bathroom, she is surprised to see Draco actually waiting for her while leaning against the wall; he also has a thick white towel.
"Enjoy your time?" He asked with a smile.
He looks more human if he smiles, she thought.
"I feel a little sore," she said.
He smiles at her and dries her hair with the towel; he does it very gently and cautiously, as if she's going to crack if he's too rough.
"Get dressed," he whispered and kissed her forehead.
They sat in a loveseat in front of a blazing fireplace. A blanket covered their bodies, Draco's arm wrapped tightly around her waist as he read, and Luna looked out of the window and watched the snow begin to cover the ground. Usually during the first snow she would be dancing outside to welcome the snow and snow fairies. But of course Draco doesn't allow her to get out; instead, he opens the windows curtain and lets her watch from the cozy and warm room.
He tightened his arm around her waist and he kissed the back of her head gently. And Luna thinks, she really likes the gentle Draco. Gentleness of his touch and kiss, she really likes that. Sometimes if his tenderness came, she was glad it was Draco. And sometimes she feels belong to him. She didn't know where the thought came from. But she felt safe and comfortable as he became softer.
She turned her face away from windows and wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her head on his chest. He just smiles and hugs her more tightly in return. He grabs her left hand and kisses her injured wrist, which makes her feel a strange sensation in her stomach, it's like she's in love.
What's this feeling? Stockholm Syndrome?