A/N: This is going to be my second attempt for an OT5 but this will be on a different plane compared to Simple Joys. You may have notice (and surprisingly, me too) that I seem to have an affinity to angst. This story is full of angst…I'll fill it to the brim. Kidding. But I do love making my readers cry. Haha! But kidding aside, I kinda like the feeling that I move people's emotions with my words. I hope I would be able to do the same with this story.
Disclaimer: I don't own POT, or the Korean show where I got the idea and the songs…if by heaven's grace it will turn out to be a song fic.
Parings: OT5, implied FujiRyoga (past) and a whole lot more
PS: "" for dialogs, '' for thoughts, italics for flashback, () for text messages.
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A day later, Fuji stood before Ryoga, holding his prized camera, snapping shots of memories and beauty. There's something that kept bothering the photographer ever since they starter.
"Saa...something's not right." Fuji muttered as he studied the once vibrant young man. Used to having Ryoga as his subject, he knew the man from inside out. Every time he faces the camera, he was amazing. However, normally Ryoga would exhibit that same vigor even during breaks but now; Fuji can clearly notice the gloominess in the man's aura every time he faces away from the camera.
'I wonder what's wrong." he mused as he said on his chair and went on replacing the film.
"Fuji-kun?"
The tensai looked up and saw the smiling face of Echizen Rinko.
"Ahh Rinko-san!" Fuji smiled. He scooted over to let the woman sit next to him. "If there anything I can help you with?"
The twinkle in her eyes faded a little that only people with amazing observation abilities like Fuji could catch. "Actually there is."
"It's about my son."
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It was Tezuka who insisted seeing Ryoma so Sanada had no choice left but to take the bespectacled man with him. Atobe threw in a tantrum so he gets to ride with his lovers to Momogaoka.
"I'm telling you guys, subtle approach will get him to talk to you." Sanada sighed. "Attacking like this will cause him to back away."
Tezuka gaze never fazed. "we're not attacking Gen. We're just coming to visit."
Sanada scoffed. "You tell that to Keigo."
Tezuka glanced at his obsidian-eyed lover and sighed. "Keigo, what's with the flowers and fruits?"
Keigo huffed indignantly. "Ryo-baby's sick. Of course Ore-sama brought what he needed to get better."
Tezuka wanted to slap his forehead. Atobe can sometimes be think-headed sometimes. "Again Keigo, we're not going to a hospital. We're going to visit Ryoma in his school, like a normal person."
Sanada let out a breath as the bickering went on. He stared outside the window, seeing Momogaoka at the distance.
"Will you make this our little secret?"
The softness of Ryoma's voice still echoed inside his head. He replayed the scene in his head over and over last night and he still can't get over it. The kiss...the voice...everything that is Ryoma etched in his memory.
'I wonder if he's telling the truth about that migraine and Keigo's just over-reacting.'
"Ok the fruits can go but definitely not the flowers." Keigo's irritated voice shattered his little bubble.
"Everything will have to go or I'm tying you up." Tezuka replied.
Sanada shook his head. 'Why should I be worrying about that? I should be worrying about whether Ryoma would talk to us or not when we get there.'
The limo came into an abrupt stop.
"We're here."
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Ryoga was dozing off inside his trailer when a knock woke him up.
"Echizen, its Fuji."
A slight scramble and the door slid open. Fuji climbed in to slight Ryoga slumped on his sofa bed, lightly panting. Worr7 washed over the tensai upon seeing his ex-boyfriend at such state.
"Ryoga."
Ryoga fought back the exhaustion to make out Fuji's face. "Fuji, what is it?" he sat up as slowly as he could.
Fuji couldn't help his self as he sat beside him and felt his pulse. 'It's fast!' his system kicked into alarm stage.
"Where are your medicines?" he asked. He earned a groan from the man but he pointed to the direction of his dresser.
Fuji wasted no time as he took out Ryoga's medicines, vaguely remembering all there names, and made the golden-eyed man drink them.
Silence reigned inside the trailer for a few minutes as they waited fort he medicines to take action.
"Are you alright now, Ryoga?" Fuji asked as started to return.
"I thought we already talked about the use of first names." Ryoga asked, seeking deep into the tensai's unreadable sapphire orbs. "I know my mother approached you earlier. And I know why you're here now." he looked away, hurt registering in his eyes.
Fuji could feel the pain radiating from the man next to him. Their status forgotten, he reached out and took Ryoga into his embrace. "I'm not here as your ex-lover." he muttered against the matte of ebony locks as Ryoga leaned closer. "I'm a here because I am concerned about you, genuinely concerned and not just because your mother approached me."
he brought his hand to Ryoga's chin and tilted his face in order to look into those golden orbs. " i'm not here to convince you to take that heart but i'm here to help you reconsider your options."
" this is life we're talking about Ryoga." Fuji brushed away the stubborn locks that covered his eyes. " you have been given the rarest opportunity in life and that is to continue living it. not everyone is given that same chance as you have."
" i suggest that you grab it...for happiness that will come to you in the future."
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Ohtori only wanted to watch Ryoma's periodical exam with Narumi so he didn't expect that being kidnapped by the young man's ex-lovers was actually in his schedule.
" This is a bit low for you, don't you think?" Ohtori asked as he glared at the three men before him. " especially for you, Sanada-sensei. You're a faculty member after all."
"We just want you to take us to Ryoma." Tezuka told him as they backed him into a corner. "Then we'll let you go."
"I'm sorry, Ohtori-kun." Sanada apologized.
"Don't apologize Gen." Atobe snarled. "I mean not until we get what we want."
Ohtori sighed in disbelief. "You do know that by doing it this way, he'll never come around, right?" he studied the three of them for a while. "Sanada-sensei, don't you have classes for today?"
"Not until after lunch." the man replied.
Ohtori started weighing his options. If he led these men to Ryoma, his best friend might kill him, and then die due to stress. Or if he tried to side-track them, he might end up dead and Ryoma will die due to depression. He closed his eyes and groaned in frustration. 'Or maybe...if he took these men to Ryoma, the man might die but he'll die happy since he got to see the loves of his life.'
With a frown, he pushed passed Tezuka and Sanada. "Fine, I'll take you to him. But if he says no, you'll leave right away, understood?"
"H-hai!" the men replied as they moved to follow his lead.
They turned from hall to hall, around corners to corners, up and down the stairs until they came back to the same floor that they were earlier.
"a-are you playing with us, Ohtori-kun?" Tezuka managed to blurt out in between gasps.
"No." Ohtori replied. "I'm just taking out a bit of revenge." he shrugged before walking away from them.
"why you--?!"
"Shh!" Ohtori shushed his off. He motioned them to get up. He knocked. "Shindou-sensei?"
The door opened and Ohtori pulled them inside.
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Rinko pulled over in front of Ryoma's apartment. She reached into the backseat for a folder. She dropped by Moritaka General Hospital to talk to Ryoga's cardiologist. With her were the documents Ryoma gave her.
"He seemed like the perfect candidate." the doctor muttered while studying Ryoma's medical records. "If not for the last name, I could say they're brothers."
Rinko's eyes blinked in surprise. "Pardon me?"
The doctor sighed and laid out the papers before her. "The heart's size is perfect for Ryoga-kun. Even the blood type and the Rh group are a match. If your son pursues the operation, I can foresee an almost 85 success rate due to the unexpected compatibility."
Rinko took the documents with shaking hands. "Are you quite sure, doctor?"
Rinko closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. Her mind was racing with possibilities but she shook her head on it.
"Don't head off to a very impossible premise, Rinko." she told herself. "You're nothing but a fool if you entertain the speculations."
"If not for the last name, I could say they're brothers."
"No...Your other son is already dead." she said firmly. "Your only son left is Ryoga and you want him to live longer."
"Ryuzaki-kun might look very much like him but he's not blood-related. Remember that."
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The door opened and in came Ryoma and Narumi, immersed in a serious conversation.
"Just don't get nervous." Ryoma placed his bag on top of the piano without even looking up. "Music is supposed to make you relax, ok?"
Narumi noticed the increased number of individuals inside the room. He caught Ohtori's eyes and the taller man juts smiled. "Uh yes, Ryuzaki-senpai. Umm--"
"Let's do this." Ryoma muttered as he took his seat. He lifted the key guard and that was the only time he noticed the other occupants of the room.
"You?!" Golden eyes stared up at them in a wide-eyed fashion as he tried to grasp the situation.
The door opened and in came the elderly teacher. "Ahh I'm glad you're here Ryuzaki-kun, Narumi-kun. Let's start?" he smiled at them before taking his seat.
Ryoma, still in shock spun to face his instructor and demanded. "Why are they here?!"
Shindou-sensei chuckled a little. "Ahh them?" he turned to look at others behind the pianos. "Ohtori-kun requested an audience and since Atobe-san was an excellent student of a friend of mine in the past, I agreed."
Ryoma turned to face his best friend who just shrugged and smiled. "Sorry?" he let out an indignant huff before he turned to his ex-lovers.
"What do you want?" Golden eyes glared at them.
"We just want to see you..." Tezuka started but Atobe cut him off with a, "play! Yes! We just want to see you play."
A perfect eyebrow arched up in suspicion. "Oh really?"
Sanada smiled at him apologetically. "You are the Piano Division's No. 2 after all."
Ryoma sighed and sunk back on his seat. 'I'm so doomed.' he sighed in defeat.
"Ne, Ryoma..." Ohtori leaned against the piano. "Should Narumi give back the advice you gave earlier?" he smiled at the irritated expression on his best friend's face.
"Shut up, Choutarou." Ryoma snapped at him. He turned to his kohai. "What are you looking at?"
Narumi jerked. "n-nothing, Ryuzaki-senpai!" he immediately faced his own piano. "I'm sorry."
Ryoma huffed indignantly as he tried to take in deep breaths. It was lucky enough that his headaches were subdued. 'Ok Ryoma...you can do this.' he cast one last look at his ex-lovers. 'Great...just great.'
"Um Shindou-sensei, would be ok if we video-tape this performance?" Ohtori asked.
"Sure!" the elderly instructor smiled. "Cautious as usual ne, Piano Division's No. 1 student, Ohtori Choutarou?"
Ohtori just smiled back and held his hand out to Tezuka. "Your cell phone." he muttered under his breath, sure that only Tezuka can hear.
'Oh...' Tezuka realized what the man wanted to do so he immediately gave his phone to him.
"Start anytime you want, Ryuzaki-kun." Shindou-sensei said.
Ryoma gave Ohtori one last death glare before taking a deep breath. He turned to Narumi and nodded.
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The shoot was wrapped up and Ryoga headed for home. Throughout the journey, his conversation with Fuji echoed over and over inside his head.
"This is life we're talking about Ryoga."
"You have been given the rarest opportunity in life and that is to continue living it. Not everyone is given that same chance as you have."
"I suggest that you grab it...for happiness that will come to you in the future."
He closed his eyes as fatigue stared to override his senses. 'What should I do? I want to live longer...but without him...with the knowledge of taking someone else's life...I don't think I can live with that much weight on my shoulders.'
'What should I do?'
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Ryoma was able to escape from Ohtori's schemes and headed home right after the exam. He couldn't help but smile a little though at his best friend's little attempts to make him happy in the few months he has left.
'Or it could be months.' his mind sadly supplied. "Or days." he frowned at that. As the days go by, with his ex-lover's attempts to talk to him, the more he became reluctant to let go.
He gave his self a mental shake. "No...You've gone this far. You shouldn't be backing out now." he said firmly. "And besides...it's been three years since the procedure became possible. The longer I had put it aside, the lesser the success rate turned out." the thought made him walk faster so that he could retire in his bed.
"There's no way I would survive after that."
He turned around the corner and stopped abruptly when he noticed a familiar car parked outside their apartment. He took a deep breath and summoned his courage to march up to the car.
The window slid down and out peeked Rinko. "Ryuzaki-kun!" she unlocked the door and Ryoma slipped in.
"What do you want, Echizen-san?" Ryoma asked, wanting to finish the conversation immediately. "I thought I made it perfectly clear to you that I would be the one who will contact you, not the other way around."
Rinko glanced at the man beside her. That flattering feeling in her gut returned. He swallowed hard and gripped the steering wheel tight. "I have a few questions that need some answers."
"Oh? And what are those Echizen-san?" Ryoma asked. They were too close. Ryoma could feel that magnetic pull of kinship that he swore he would thwart. He maintained a cool, aloof aura and kept his gaze focused ahead.
"Who are your parents? Why do you look just like my son? Why--"
"My parents died in an accident a year after I was born." Ryoma cut her off. "It was my grandmother who took care of me after that, until she died four years ago from heart failure." he was amazed how the words came out if his mouth effortlessly. 'Maybe because it's what you've been telling everyone almost your entire life.'
"Why I look like your son, you asked?" Ryoma smiled bitterly. "Research says that there are at least 10 people in the world that looked similar. I think you're being overrated about this."
Rinko just studied the young man before her. She can't help but feel sad for him. For some reason, something inside her opposes to her decision. Something in her doesn't want Ryuzaki Ryoma to die.
"Is there anything else..." Ryoma chose that time to look at her, golden eyes gazing up to her. "...Rinko-san?"
Rinko felt her heartbeat raced as she was mesmerized by those golden eyes. "I-I want to know what pushed you to do this, Ryuzaki-kun. What cause this decision?"
Ryoma sighed and looked out to his apartment. 'Should it really come to this?' he asked his self. He closed his eyes and remembered the enrapt expressions of his ex-lovers earlier, how they were mesmerized by his music...how raw the emotions were in their eyes. He sighed. 'It's not like I'd be alive long enough to experience those again.'
"I have a bullet lodged inside my brain for almost three years, Echizen-san." he turned to the woman and smiled sadly. "Isn't that reason enough to push me over the edge?" he opened the door and gave the perturbed woman one last glance.
"I think you should worry about how you're going to make your son accept my heart, Echizen-san."
"I am facing enough problem on my own that I don't need to be worried by that of the others'. I don't think you're that cruel not to understand a dying man's quirks."
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"Amazing..." Fuji breathed out as he watched the video for the third time that night. He and his lovers were huddled on the bed, watching Ryoma's performance which Ohtori good-naturedly taped for them. "So beautiful..."
He traced Ryoma's animated figure with a trembling finger, not noticing the single tear that escaped his eye. "Too bad I wasn't able to see this personally." he felt a warm, comforting arm around his waist.
"It's ok Syusuke." Atobe whispered to his ear. "It'll only be a short time until we'll be able to have him back."
"And by then he will be able to do this for us...forever." Tezuka added and he pulled the two against him.
Sanada watched his three lovers with a wistful smile on his lips. An image of Ryoma flashed in his head. 'Yes...only a few more walls and we'll be able to break through and reclaim what is ours.' he joined the three in watching the video again. "And the happiness that we so longed will be finally ours to keep."
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Ohtori found his best friend sulking on his bed that night. He came in late since he had a date with his boyfriend.
'Oh man.' he knew that the golden-eyed man was mad at him for what he did but it's shouldn't have gone this far. "Ryoma?" he moved towards the bed and realized that the man wasn't sleeping...he was just staring off into space.
He felt his heart constrict at the defeated state of his best friend. "Oh god Ryoma I'm sorry." he sat next to him and held his warm yet lifeless hands. "I just thought--"
"You shouldn't have done that, Choutarou." Ryoma's monotonous drawl came to his ear. "You know very much that I can't get close to them anymore."
Ohtori bit his lip as guilt and sadness filled his heart. He could sense the tears welling up his eyes as blank, golden orbs looked up to him.
"I'm trying to stay away so that saying goodbye wouldn't be so hard." Ryoma continued, unconscious to the fact that his own tears were trailing down his cheeks. "The more that they come closer, the more pain I feel...pain that I shouldn't be feeling for them because they left me on my own."
"the more that I'm being pushed towards them...the harder it is for me to accept the fact that I'm dying...that I'm allowing myself to die."
Ohtori's sobs echoed into the room as he finally lost the battle with emotions and held the man tight. "Please stop this...p-please Ryoma..." he held Ryoma tighter, not caring if he's already hurting the man.
"Please stop talking like you're dying already...please!"
"Shhhh." a soft caress wiped off the tears from his cheeks. "Don't cry now. You know very much how I hate seeing you cry."
Ohtori's whimpered in distress as he let all control go and dissolved into fits of sobs.
"Hush now, Choutarou..." Ryoma's soothing voice echoed in his ears. "Give this one to me, ok?"
"For once let me carry all the burden that is supposed to be mine."
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A/N: Ahh there! As one of the reviewers had noticed, it has a similar plot to that of the Korean show, I'M SORRY, I LOVE YOU. However, there are and will be distinct differences. Heheheheheheh...
Only a few chapters to go! Please support me, ne?! Yay!!!!!
IF YOU WANT MORE...
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