Chapter Ten

"Keep low to the ground. We have a minute at most." Kruger yanked the barrel forward with enough strength that Ilona, who was far from weak, felt nearly useless.

"Stop!" As soon as Kruger tumbled outside onto the docks, Ilona saw that the guard had run around to the side exit.

His revolver was aimed straight at Kruger. Ilona had her chance – to save the mission or Kruger.

Or both. Maybe it's not a scale. Ilona shoved the barrel with all her strength, aiming both towards the guard and the water.

Her eardrums exploded with gunshots, but the barrel and Ilona had fallen into the briny water as the dock exploded.

The eruption reverberated through Kruger's every molecule, and he felt himself tumbling into nothing as hot metal devoured his side.

Then he was in the water, splish-splashing around in shock, and gunshots were still ringing out – the frantic guard had gone mad, firing every which way.

Ilona surfaced before him, spitting out the briny water. On instinct, Kruger wrapped himself around her to protect her as a second explosion, louder and closer and so, so hot, sent nails and wooden planks from the dock smack into them.

"We have to help him! You! Person I oughtn't name right now! You!" Ilona was shaking him. "The guard's going to drown!"

Up ahead, the guard's limp body was sinking into the waves.

"Don't you dare let him die," she seethed, swimming over to the guard.

Kruger ignored the pain in his side as he, too, grabbed the guard and began pulling him the twenty meters to the nearest jetty. Quickly, quickly, quickly – not only might the toxins have leaked during the explosion, but doubtless hundreds of Alexandria District soldiers had been alerted.

"Here!" As they dragged the body onto the docks, Ilona checked his pulse. "He's okay."

"We're not." Panting, Kruger pointed towards the shouts and flashlights swarming what remained of the dock. "We've got to go."

"You don't say." Ilona scrambled to her feet, and Kruger tried to stand – only to gag and stumble into her.

"What – " Ilona looked at his side. "What the hell?!"

"Back to my place." Kruger yanked off his jacket and pressed it against his side to minimize a bloodwater trail.

"Uh – uh – okay. Lean on me." Ilona grimaced as they crouched down, his weight bearing down on her. If only adrenaline would last her a bit longer – along with the thick smoke.

Ilona felt cobblestone under her feet again when Kruger gave a soft groan and suddenly he had collapsed, and she was struggling to keep him upright. "Hey – hey – you gotta stay conscious a little longer, Eren. Please."

She shook him harder. "Wake up!"

He couldn't be dead – but if he was, they couldn't know he was the owl. She'd have to stage something. How would she find the time or means without getting caught?

Stop.

Ilona squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath. When she opened them again, she jabbed her fingers into Kruger's pulsating neck.

With a gasp of relief, Ilona shook him one last time.

She knew Alexandria. She knew this place. She could get them out. Ilona surveyed their dingy surroundings. Left would be best, with its alley and its direction.

As soon as she began to move him, Kruger coughed and opened his eyes.

"Thank heavens." Ilona pressed her forehead against him as voices approached them. "I need you to walk with me. For me. For a minute at most, just at least until we find shelter. Please."

"Who goes there?"

Ilona jerked as a beam of light struck her back.

Kruger grappled for his gun, but then a shack behind the racing guard exploded into flames.

"What?" Ilona shriek-whispered as the soldier fell down from the impact. "How?"

"The explosion set something off," Kruger decided as soldiers descended on the smaller fire. More smoke billowed between them and the shack, providing the perfect cover.

And Ilona noticed a stocky figure scrambling down another alley.

"What's Dina doing here?" Sally shoved Tiberius away from the cracked door. "Let me listen."

"You'll give us away!" He pushed back, a new boldness for him. He'd always used his body against his peers, not his family. But Zeke had encouraged him to stand up for himself. Zeke, the one he used to tease and pick fights with.

In Alma's room, Dina sat on the edge of her bed.

"I'm sorry I can't get up," said Alma, pressing her hand against her pounding head.

"I've had migraines before," Dina said with a kind smile. "How are you doing, Alma?"

"I'm doing," Alma muttered.

"You should be more than doing. You deserve it." Dina smoothed Alma's hair. They might have been the same age, but Alma felt like a scrambled failure of an adult. She scrunched her face up to avoid the tears.

"No."

"You're a daughter of Ymir. We're capable of more than most people. So are you."

"A titan. Not helpful," Alma said.

"Something large and capable of building as well as destroying. If you think about it, we might experience more destruction than most, but we're also capable of the most rebuilding, too."

"Says you. I'm sure Tiberius would disagree as he roams Paradis."

Dina cringed. "Perhaps. But we could, if Marley would allow us."

"I don't need to hear how special I am. I don't deserve anything. That's just how it is. I've accepted it."

"And yet here you are crying on your bed." Dina grasped Alma's hand. "Do you know, I swear to you, there's more to life than this. I swear it. There's an entire world you haven't seen yet."

"What are you talking about?" Alma brushed back a strand of hair.

"There's an entire history Marley erased. Eldian history." Dina swallowed the lump in her throat. "I know. I'm descended from the First Eldian King. My husband – he's seen miracles, read text in script he couldn't read. Ymir's spirit lives, and she's here in all of us Eldian children. There's more to your story, Alma, I swear it."

Her friend lifted her head, a frown on her face. "Dina, are you involved in treason?"

Dina shook with conviction. "Sometimes, treason is worthwhile."

Alma stared at her.

"For truth. For my Eldian brothers and sisters. Like you. Marley may tell you you're useless – Tiberius may have told you the same – but they were so wrong. I see it in you. Alma, you're as special as any one of us Eldians." Dina blinked back tears, and to her amazement, Alma did the same.

"I don't know what to do," said Alma.

"Act. Live for Ymir, for all of us Eldians, as we live for you." Dina squeezed her hand.

"Even Tiberius?" But as Alma asked, she realized just how strongly she had yearned to forgive her husband. She might be relieved that the beatings had forever died, but she hated the idea of him, the one she'd snuck away with as a teenager, the one she'd conceived children with and supported, crying and dying alone.

He was of Ymir, too. He was special, just like she. Alma covered her mouth as her shoulders shook. "I'm a terrible mother and mess of a human, much less an Eldian. And you're telling me there's hope for me?"

"There's always hope." Dina wrapped her arms around Alma's bony shoulders. "Will you help us?"

"Yes," Alma burst out, forgetting whom exactly us was. But did specifics matter more than us? Us, where she belonged.

"Here we are. Let me see." Ilona slammed the door to his cabin shut as Kruger dropped to the floor, relieved he'd made it this far. His bed was so close, but he hadn't the strength to reach it.

Before he could move, she'd grabbed a knife from his kitchen and was cutting off his shirt. Good, because he was too tired to undress himself. It was all unnecessary anyway – she needed to go away.

Ilona stared at the pulsating wound, oozing bright scarlet already puddling onto the wooden floorboards.

"This is bad, Eren."

"I'll…be fine," he rasped, but he didn't have the strength to cover his wound with his own hands.

"Eren!" A few moments later he realized he'd lost consciousness again. How many times did that make?

Ilona pushed his hands against his side and dove for his bedsheets. By the time she'd yanked off the sheet, the paleness of his face seemed to have grown worse. He's bleeding out.

"Eren, how do you raise an alarm? I have to take you to a hospital," she declared.

A hospital, where their blood tests would get him killed, until they found he couldn't die.

He closed his eyes to fend off the spins arising from blood loss and fear. "No."

Ilona bent down to his level and shoved the sheet into his hands, which were slick with blood. "Look, we can go to the farthest one from the docks, but Eren, you've probably got intestinal damage. I'm not a doctor, I can't cauterize that, I can't even control the bleeding, and I don't want you to die on me."

"I don't…visit doctors." Kruger fought back panic. This well-meaning woman was about to get them both killed.

"What?"

"No hospital."

"Eren, don't be stubborn." As she spoke, something niggled at the back of her mind.

"No hospital," he said through clenched teeth.

"Why?" she demanded. "Why? Why is a hospital so frightening?"

His eyes met hers, and they were suddenly muddled and half-conscious, but pleading with a desperation she'd only seen once before. The desperation Tiberius had worn the night all three had met.

Her shoulders slumped. "Eren…"

She knew. He saw in her eyes. Maybe. She had to suspect at least. Kruger feared he was about to see just how far a Marleyan's commitment to equality would extend – and he didn't want her to hate him. "Just let me…be."

"I'm not leaving you. You'll have to throw me out, and you can't in your condition." Ilona added her hands over his to double the pressure.

He winced.

"Too much?"

"No." Kruger tried to meet her gaze, but she was focused solely on controlling his bleeding.

"You'll need to drink water as soon as it slows, to increase your blood volume," she narrated. "I'll grab you some as soon as we control this. I – we'll find a way. Somehow."

She couldn't, but she would. She had to. She was calmer now, more focused. They could do this.

"It's not…so bad. It's getting better. Look." After another minute, Kruger forced himself to move. He lifted his hands to show a steaming wound, oozing rather than gushing, already scabbing around the edges. Maybe he'd be lucky and she'd think herself mad.

Ilona gasped. In these few minutes? Then how bad had he been wounded when the explosion first went off?

"I'll pour you water, then." She rose and walked to the sink to ponder this. Either she was crazy, he had magical healing properties, or …

Kruger's heart sunk as she approached him again.

"Here." She pushed the glass against his lips. "Your blood's only on the outside of the glass, I promise. Drink all of it."

He obeyed. Anything to lessen her anger. If she was angry, and she didn't seem it – but she knew. He'd lived twenty fucking years among these Marleyans and not once had his identity been compromised before. And then came Ilona, fucking wonderful Ilona…

When he swallowed, Ilona placed the empty glass, coated in her bloody fingerprints, back in the sink. "I'm glad you're healing."

She approached him again, pausing to gather her courage.

He lowered his head. He barely breathed. I'm sorry came to his mind, but why? What was he sorry for? Saving his people? Deceiving Marley? Or merely deceiving her?

Finally, she spoke.

"You're not Marleyan, are you?" Ilona slid next to him.

Kruger heaved a sigh. But the words – the words wouldn't come.

But her hand returned to his side. "It's okay."

He looked at her, eyes wide and – frightened.

Tears slipped down her face. At last she knew, and he trusted her enough to let her discover his secret. "I don't think less of you as an Eldian. You ought to know me better."

"I do," he muttered, glancing away.

"Then look at me."

Kruger obeyed.

"I am so, so sorry you had to suffer all these years. Alone." Ilona shook her head. "I hope you know you're not alone anymore."

"I have to be." Kruger's fingers wrapped around her wrist. "If they catch you – with an Eldian –"

"I'm not abandoning your cause or you, Eren. I could sooner turn into a titan," she said with a rather sorrowful giggle.

"Ilona," he groaned.

"I want you. I love you for being Eldian. You know that already." The words tumbled out of her.

Kruger fought the urge to dissolve into shivers and flee the world forever. Love? Love? How could she? She was too young, too pure – she must be preserved.

Preserved? She wasn't an item. She was a person, intricate and unfathomable and deep.

Her saw the desperation on her face, the wonder and fear and questions. How could he respond? How dare he reply to that level of devotion?

"Yes," he croaked.

He wasn't sure whether he kissed her or she him, but he had never felt anything so gentle before.

She pulled away and felt his breath in short, hot gasps against her cheek. "You don't have to love me, though I suspect you do, but just know I love you."

Did he? What was love? He barely remembered.

Then she bent down and kissed the wound in his side.

Kruger burst into laughter. "You're – you're bewitching, and kind, and – and I can't express how glad I am to hear I'm finally suspected of something good."

Ilona's face was bright pink. "Well, I don't know if I would call an Eldian restoration force bad…"

"I love you, too," he interrupted.

Her face melted before him, so he took her in his arms and kissed her again.

Two days of frantic journalism on the Alexandria explosion had wearied Jack, but not so much he'd miss the shady figure waiting outside his mansion.

"If you were trying to be subtle, you've failed." Jack opened the door and beckoned her inside.

"Lucky for me, I wasn't trying." Ilona brushed past him.

"Been busy at night?" he asked sarcastically as she turned to face him, her eyes wide and worried.

"I know what you did," she said instead.

Jack shrugged. "You'd be stupid if you didn't. And while you might be foolish, I wouldn't have taken you on if you'd been stupid."

"Why? And how did you know to be there?"

"Don't be naïve. Something was up between you two." Jack stroked his beard. "This is why I fear for you."

"He's not who you think."

"He's not who I thought. I think he is definitely who I think now."

"Perhaps," Ilona conceded, though she wasn't naïve enough to yield a direct confirmation. "I, uh, I'm sorry for abandoning our story."

"I'm sorry you did, too. If you're trying to join again, I can't let you. One wrong move, I go down, too." He dropped his voice. "And Muriel."

"Then … I apologize even more. I didn't intend to break faith."

"You were always going to, in one form or another. It's in your nature, and that's not all bad." Jack half-smiled. "Would I have taken you on had I seen you clearly? I don't know. I know this, though: I'm both sad and glad you shouted me down in the middle of the streets that day."

"And I'm sad and glad you saw past my accusations."

"I saw a heart beating for justice." He shrugged again.

"And I never would know or have seen myself – or Eldians – if it weren't for you. They'd be a pitiful charity case to me, not much else."

"You'd never stay in that trap for long." Jack crossed his arms.

"Maybe. I don't know." Ilona hesitated. "My only regret is knowing the extent of the mayor's cover up."

"Your father's still dear to you, isn't he?" Jack sighed.

"I've always been closer to him than even my mother." Ilona leant against the door. "It's been weeks and I remain unable to reconcile his sins."

"Sins weren't made to be reconciled. Or so the priests' say." Jack fished through his bag. "Now, I don't say that. Reconciliation, that's their domain. I say sins were made to be understood, but that might just be the drum of my reporter heart talking."

"Short of honesty, what should I do? Let my father stay on this path?"

"You can't choose for him. Honesty could as easily kill as save. But." Jack pulled out a pen and paper. "You might as well know. Since your obviously planned attack on the arena –"

"I suspected you'd guess."

"In another life I'd be proud, but not this one. Yet." Jack handed the paper to her. "The council has begun questioning the wisdom of the Titan Warrior program. Don't feel too guilty – it was bound to happen one time or another."

"I don't know whether to feel relieved or horrified for what that means for those in Liberio."

"Best worry for Paradis. You'll find a report from spies who traveled recently to Paradis has been distributed to all the councilmen and women. You may find it of use for your…clique."

She'd have to steal from Father again. Ilona lowered her eyes, but just as soon raised them. No, she'd find another way. She and Kruger both would.

"Thank you, Jack."

"You'd best be on your way."

"Does this mean you've forgiven me?"

"Not yet, my dear." Jack smirked as only Jack could.

A hairpin in the lock, a few fiddles with the doorknob, and Ilona leapt into her father's office before she could flee.

She felt a coward for breaking in at night when this was her father, but then, she wasn't sure she could bear to spend much time with him.

With a glance down the dim hallway behind her, Ilona quietly closed the door and hurried to Father's desk.

Here at midnight she wouldn't have to steal from him. She wanted to, she really did. She was angry enough that she wanted to rip those documents from him and burn all his others. To laugh in his face when he saw she, his Marleyan daughter, was the culprit.

But she couldn't. Something inside her – maybe her conscience, maybe the love for him slowly killing her – insisted that the better path lay ahead tonight.

Betrayal, but a lesser form.

Ilona slipped the pen and paper out of her pocket and moved her father's lamp under the desk, where no passersby would see the window light.

"What are you up to under there?"

Ilona shrieked as Father swept down to grin at her hiding under the desk.

"Ow!"

In her haste, she'd knocked her head against the underside of his desk, and a small hatch opened to shower her with papers.

"Are you all right?" Mom would have scolded her for the papers, but Father just cared about her.

"Yes. Are these important?" Ilona stared at fancy folders with words she hadn't learned yet.

"Not as important as you." Father pulled her away and hugged her. She did, however, shriek again when he tickled her.

With a swallow, Ilona slid her hand along the underside of the desk. Yes, there was a latch here. She hadn't dreamt it.

This time she pulled the papers out one-by-one rather than strew them about.

A full document detailing the titan program. A monetary proposal bound to alienate two councilmen. An unmarked folder.

She cracked open the folder to see the letters she knew strung together in nonsensical words. But the top page was marked "Eldian report."

This must be it. Hopefully. Ilona turned on the lamp and began to scribble down. She prayed Kruger would know how to translate them.

Crouched below the desk again, Ilona felt as if she were beside her childhood, as if she could reach out and brush that baby blue bow she insisted on wearing each day.

She'd never imagined betraying her family and loving an Eldian. And though she would never question whether her actions were worthwhile, she had to wonder what had happened to her.