Chapter Ten

Allison had a part-time job at the school bookstore at Shermer Community College and could help Bender pay the bills. He offered to let her have the bedroom; he was used to sleeping on couches. Allison was reluctant at first, but Bender talked her into it. She squealed when she thought about leaving her parents' house and getting her own place. Their apartment was in Bender's neighborhood, the bad part of town. The rent was cheaper, but Allison was distressed by the sights and sounds of drug addicts, prostitutes, homeless beggars, and grimy, malnourished children. It agonized her to see people suffer.

Bender helped Allison move. She left behind a lot of stuff. She said she didn't need it any more, that she had "moved on with her life." Bender assumed that meant she was finally past the phase of wearing the "black shit" on her eyes and dressing like a bag lady. She took her art supplies, her most cherished works, a few of her personal belongings, and the new clothes she had recently bought. She crammed everything into a musty old canvas duffel bag that had been her grandfather's when he was in the Air Force.

Allison tossed an envelope on the bed.

"What's that?" Bender asked.

"Nothing."

Allison had written her parents a note that explained she was moving out and going off to college. She didn't know if they would bother to read it and she didn't care. She had only written it in case they ever noticed she was gone: she didn't want them to call the police and report her as a missing person.

Allison hefted her sling bag. She reached for the duffel bag but Bender snatched it first. He winked at her. "You gotta protect your drawing hand."

Allison didn't bother saying good-bye to her parents on her way out the door. Neither one took any notice of her or Bender. They were watching TV, their expressions blank, stoned on Valium and table wine. Her father's expression was catatonic. Spittle dribbled from the corner of his mouth. Bender couldn't get that image out of his mind, but he never mentioned it to Allison. He knew all too well how it felt to be ashamed of your own parents.

Bender stuffed Allison's duffel bag in the trunk of his rust-streaked Chevy Nova, slammed the deck lid shut, and brushed his hands together. "Let's get the fuck outta here."

Allison was already getting in the car. She refused to look back at the house. "Haul ass."

"Whatever you say, my dear." Bender got in, started the engine, popped the clutch, and left black rubber marks from his spinning, squalling tires all the way to the stop sign at the end of the block. After the car skidded to a halt, he grinned. "Think that got their attention?"

Allison's face was hard. "I doubt it," she said with such rancor that Bender was moved. He inserted a cassette in the tape deck beneath the dashboard and cranked up the volume. The song blasting from the speakers was AC/DC's "Hell's Bells," one of his favorites. He banged his head and belted out the lyrics in an off-key voice that made Allison cringe.

Allison tapped Bender's shoulder. "Would you please cut out that racket?"

"You don't like this song?"

"The song's okay; it's your singing that sucks."

Bender turned up the volume all the way and shouted at the top of his lungs. Allison put her hands over her ears and screamed.

Satisfied he had made his point, Bender reduced the volume. "Come on, Klepto, admit it. You had a good time at that party I took you to."

Much to Bender's surprise, Allison had been curious to meet some of his stoner buddies, to ensure they weren't leading him down the road to ruin. It was her way of looking out for him, like he protected her from strangers on the street.

Allison cleared her throat. "I had a good time because I was with you."

Bender peered at her from the corners of his eyes. "Really?"

"You were having so much fun, I just got swept away with all the good vibes."

Bender became sexually aroused. His cheeks flushed. He squeezed his knees together.

Allison was puzzled by his reaction. "You all right?"

"Oh yeah, I'm good to go."

Allison noticed the bulge in Bender's crotch. She glared at him. "Great plan, dirtball. Ask me to move in with you, then try to fuck me. You must think you're pretty slick."

Bender was embarrassed. "My boner has nothing to do with you. Okay?" He crossed his heart.

Allison was disappointed, in a way. She gave him "the look."

Bender squirmed. "I can't control Mister Happy. He's got a mind of his own."

Allison smirked. "I think I figured out why men act so stupid sometimes. When they get an erection, all the blood rushes to their dicks and deprives their brains of oxygen."

Bender chuckled. "That's what we call letting your little head do the thinking for your big head."

"Well, keep your little head in your pants, you degenerate. I'm armed, and I'm dangerous."

Bender flipped his hair with a toss of his head. "You know what, Psycho? We're a lot alike."

"You don't drink vodka."

"I'm a Jack Daniels man, myself. Vodka's for Commies."

Allison stiffened. "I'm not a Communist. I just like vodka because it makes me feel numb, and all the pain goes away—until I sober up. Then the pain comes right back, worse than ever."

Bender grimaced. "That's fucked up."

"When Sporto and I went to get soft drinks from the teachers' lounge, he started hitting on me. He asked me what I like to drink. I told him I drink tons of vodka."

"That's probably the one thing you weren't bullshitting about that day."

"No, I told the truth one other time."

"When?"

"When I admitted I'm a compulsive liar." They burst out laughing.

"Lucky for you, you gave me back my switchblade before I had to beat it out of you."

"Lay off! I was afraid you were gonna stab him."

Bender snorted. He had only meant to scare Andy by showing him the knife. "Hey," he said, leaning in close, "do you really fuck your shrink?"

"Of course not! But I would ... if I loved him." Allison gave Bender a sly grin. Her eyes scintillated. She discarded her masks and illusions, allowing Bender to see her true essence. She was wild and free and beautiful. Allison was a snake charmer, a pagan priestess casting magic spells, mystical goddess of enchantment. Bender felt like he was being mesmerized.

Those eyes.

Bender snapped out of it. "You're a trip, Reynolds. Hanging out with you is like dropping acid. You must drive that shrink of yours batshit."

"That's what my parents pay him for." Allison lit a cigarette, her eyes cold and distant. "So they don't have to talk to me."

"Hey, Klepto." Bender chucked her arm. "Don't let it get you down, all right? Shit, I wish my old man never talked to me ... that fucking prick."

Allison touched Bender's hand. "I thought I had it bad."

Bender brushed her hand away. "It's nothing I can't handle."

Bender's rejection stung Allison. She clenched her jaw. "Mister tough guy. Face it, Bender, we've all got issues—even your beloved Queenie."

Bender scowled, but he couldn't beat Allison in a stare-down contest. "Leave her out of this."

"Fine." Allison folded her arms over her chest and gazed out the window, sulking.

They rode the rest of the way in silence.

xxx

Claire was incredulous. "You actually went to one of John's heavy-metal vomit parties?"

Allison nodded.

Brian grinned. "What was it like?"

"Totally insane. John never left my side. He snarled at every guy that looked at me. He even took me into the mosh pit. I was scared shitless! Everyone was slamming into each other like a hockey game. I was glad to get out of there alive."

Andy cleared his throat. "Is that where you met that guy Ace?"

"No. He lived with us for a while, after his dad kicked him out—until he got his own place. He's about the only real friend John had."

"He looks like a scumbag."

"Nah, he's a nice guy. He grew up a couple houses down from John. They knew each other since they were little kids. John used to sleep over at Ace's house when his dad got out of control and started beating him. We'd all get blitzed and watch the Bears games on TV and scarf deep-dish pizza. John used to wear his sunglasses indoors like Jim McMahon." Allison relished the bittersweet memory. "He was so happy when they won the Super Bowl."

Andy smiled. "I remember that. Yeah, it was the '85 season. They were unstoppable that year. It was pretty radical. Too bad they suck now."

"Remember that cheesy video they made?"

Andy snapped his fingers. " 'The Super Bowl Shuffle.' "

Allison rolled her eyes. "God! That was so lame."

Claire sipped some wine. "I've got a bad case of the munchies."

"Same here," Andy said. "It's been a long time since I've had real Chicago-style deep-dish pizza."

"We can order some food from room service."

Brian scratched his ear. "Like what?"

Claire handed him the room service menu. "Get whatever you want. My treat."

Andy reached for his wallet. "You don't have to do that."

"It's okay, you guys. I got it."

Brian browsed the menu. "I don't know what to get. It all sounds so good."

"Don't be a jerk-off." Andy gave Brian a playful smack on the arm. Brian punched him back. Andy gawked at him. "Damn, you've really changed, man."

Brian grinned. "Haven't we all?"

Allison blew her bangs out of her face. "It's unavoidable. We grew up. It happens to everyone."

Claire gulped. "What about John?"

"He was a lot happier once he moved out of his parents' house. Me, too. I felt like I was dying a slow death in that place, like I was suffocating." Allison held Claire's hand. "Thanks for coming. I don't know if I could've made it through today alone."

"That was really sweet of you to help Mrs. Bender."

"I hope she's gonna be all right."

Brian touched Allison's shoulder. "You're a real people person."

Allison flashed a crooked smile. "Oh, the irony."

"Doesn't surprise me," Andy said. "You saw right through me way back in high school."

Allison patted his knee. "You weren't that hard to figure out."

Andy felt sweat beading on his upper lip and the palms of his hands. He was torn by feelings of guilt and desire.

"You know, Alli," Claire said, "out of all of us, I've always admired you the most."

"Likewise," Andy said.

Allison blushed. "You're just saying that."

Brian shuffled his feet. "I've never known anyone else like you. You're one of a kind."

"More like one in a million," Andy said.

Allison was overwhelmed. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

Claire smiled. "Because you're letting us."

Allison and Claire giggled, delighted by their private joke. Andy and Brian were bemused.

Claire clapped her hands and rubbed them together briskly. "Let's eat."

xxx

Brian set his fork down and belched. "Excuse me."

Claire grinned. "Must've been pretty good, huh?"

Brian nodded and sipped his soda. "Only thing is, eating always kills my buzz."

"You're in luck." Allison pulled out the other joint from her cigarette pack.

Brian's eyes widened. "Allison, you're a lifesaver!"

Andy stared at Brian. "Dude! Were you always a burner?"

"Ever since detention."

Claire smiled. "Was that your first time?"

Brian nodded, blushing. "I was too scared to try it before."

Claire squeezed Brian's arm. Brian's loins stirred, but he played it cool.

Andy had a pensive look on his face. "What's the matter?" Claire asked him. "You look like you've got something on your mind."

Andy drummed his fingers on the table. "I was just thinking about what Allison said earlier."

Allison's ears pricked up. "What?"

"You said Bender made you promise to get us all back together again if ..." Andy gulped. "It's like he knew he was gonna die young. That freaks me out."

Allison knocked down a shot of vodka and shuddered. "John always said he felt doomed, like there was a black cloud hanging over him."

Claire covered her eyes. "Oh, God."

Brian frowned. "I feel like I let him down. We should've done this years ago. Shit!" He wanted to go ballistic and smash the hotel room to pieces—just like he did to that elephant lamp he made in shop class.

Andy frowned. "Look at the shit sandwich life handed him. He never had a chance."

Brian sniffled. "Remember how he took the rap to save us all from Vernon?"

Claire wiped her eyes. "That just goes to show you what kind of man he really was."

Allison hugged herself, a coping technique she developed as a child. "He was the best of us."

Brian leaned forward, clasping his hands like he was about to pray. "I think we should make a vow to stay in touch from now on. That's the best way I can think of to honor his memory."

"Okay," Claire said, "but everybody has to promise not to weasel out. I'm serious, God damn it."

They all touched hands and swore they would remain friends for life, no matter what.

Brian cleared his throat. "So, how about we spark that joint?"

Andy mussed Brian's hair. "Still keep weed in your underwear?"

"There's no room for it." Brian winked.

Andy gawked at Brian, astonished by his cockiness.

Claire giggled. "No wonder your name's Johnson."

Everyone laughed.

Allison lit the joint.

xxx

They sat around talking about their hopes and dreams. Claire admitted she was jealous of Andy because he had a family. Brian said he might settle down someday, but for now he was having too much fun being a bachelor. Andy said marriage was like anything else: it had its ups and its downs. He was the only one who seemed content with his personal life.

Claire suggested they reveal their birth dates. It would give them another reason to stay in touch. The others thought that was a great idea. Andy was the oldest, then Claire, then Allison, and finally Brian, who had graduated valedictorian at the precocious age of sixteen.

Claire got out a CD player and put on some classic 1980s tunes. The songs made them nostalgic, thinking about old times. "I Wanna Know What Love Is" by Foreigner hit them especially hard. No one felt like talking. They were too engrossed in pining for those long-lost days of youth. It seemed like only yesterday; it seemed like a million years ago. It left them feeling lachrymose and physically spent. The wake was winding to a close.

Claire was slipping away. Her eyes were blank. Allison threw her a lifeline and tried to reel her in. "How's your brother?"

Claire brightened. "Great! He lives in France now. I wish I lived there." She sighed. "One of these days."

Andy furrowed his brow. "I thought French people hate Americans."

Claire rolled her eyes. "Why does everybody say that? They don't hate us; they just don't like our government telling them what to do. I love it over there. I spent the whole summer in France after my sophomore year in college, right after my parents got divorced. It's so picturesque. It's like a living, breathing postcard."

Allison smiled. "That's a beautiful way to put it."

Brian glanced at his watch. "Well, shit. I guess I'd better wrap this up. I'm about to pass out."

"Yeah." Andy yawned and stretched. "I've got an early flight tomorrow. I guess I'd better hit the road." He looked at each of them in turn. "It's been great seeing you guys. I mean it. I can't wait till the next time we get together."

Claire pointed at Andy. "Remember your promise. That goes for the rest of you, too."

"Yes, ma'am." Brian stood up and saluted, enjoying the head rush. "Your wish is my command."

Claire smirked. "Very funny." She picked up her mobile phone. "I'll call the driver and tell him to give you guys a ride."

Brian put on his coat. "Thanks, Claire."

"Yeah, thanks." Andy zipped up his Member's Only windbreaker and took a deep breath, preparing to face the outside world again.

After Claire placed her call, she hugged Andy and kissed his cheek. "Don't you forget about me."

"I'll stay in touch."

"You'd better. Oh, and do something about your wardrobe. That stuff is so out of style."

Andy laughed. "Okay, I promise." He faced Allison and smiled. "I'll call you sometime."

Allison hugged Andy, squeezing him with all her might. She gazed into his eyes. "Maybe I'll call you—if that's okay. I don't want to piss off your wife."

Andy was dazed. He blinked as though coming out of a trance. "No, that's cool. She knows all about the Breakfast Club." He touched Allison's cheek. "You know, if I could do it all over again—"

Allison placed a finger on his lips. "Don't ruin it by talking." She smirked. "See ya, Sporto."

Andy grinned. "See ya, Klepto." He turned to Brian and held out his hand. "Take care, man."

Brian wrapped his arms around Andy and embraced him. Andy was surprised: he wasn't used to hugging other men. "Jesus! You're a hell of a lot stronger than you used to be."

Brian released Andy and slapped him on the back. "Stay cool."

"I'll meet you downstairs." Then Andy was gone. The door swung shut behind him. Suddenly the room seemed a little smaller, a little quieter.

Brian cleared his throat. "Well, I guess this is it—for now, anyway."

"Don't worry, we'll be seeing each other again," Claire said. "Now come here, you big lug."

Brian hugged Claire and Allison in turn, then checked his pockets.

"What's up?" Allison asked him.

Brian grinned. "Making sure you didn't steal my wallet again."

Allison punched him on the arm. "Still got that beaver shot?"

"You know me so well."

They laughed. Claire didn't get their inside joke, but it didn't matter. The warm feelings had returned, and the mood was light and fun again. Claire kissed Brian's cheek. He blushed.

Allison waved. "See ya, Big Bri."

"Good-bye, Allison. Hey, maybe we can all meet somewhere for a big, fancy dinner."

"Sounds good to me."

Claire escorted Brian to the door and bid him farewell, then closed the door and locked it.

Allison yawned. "Can you call the limo driver and ask him to wait? I need a lift."

"You sure you don't want to stay a while?"

"I just want to go home. I'm beat."

Claire bit her lip. Her face was pale and shiny. "I don't want to be alone."

Allison acquiesced. She dreaded going back to that empty house. "Okay."

Claire smiled. "I guess you didn't bring a change of clothes."

Allison shook her head.

"You can wear something of mine. I brought plenty of outfits."

Allison smacked her lips. "How about a drink?"

Claire chuckled. "Great minds think alike."