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Wanderlust

(Nine)

"So are you ready?" Vartann said turning to Sara with a smile. She took one last look at the house that she and Grissom had made their own a lump building up in her throat. After all of this time she had finally let go realising that it was only bricks and water. The reasons it had been home had disappeared a long time ago.

"I'm ready..." She smiled at him weakly turning towards the moving van that was filled with all of her belongings.

"Are you going to miss it?" he asked as they climbed in.

"...Yes, I think I am..." Sara responded honestly taking one last look around at the street that had become so familiar in the past few years. "But I'm ready to move on..."

"You've done really well Sara..." Vartann smiled at her warmly as they drove through the streets of Vegas. "...I'm really proud of you..."

"I wouldn't have been able to do it without you..." Sara replied leaning back in her seat studying his face as he kept his eyes focused on the road. "Thank you for everything..."

The past month had brought with it vast changes in her life; she had been sober for almost four weeks. Every day seeing Greg wrapped up in Morgan's arms had been a battle with herself to not drink herself unconscious but with Vartann's support she had made it through.

"I'm just glad I could help you Sara..." He nodded slightly.

They parked in the new apartment lot pausing for a few moments thinking about the task ahead of them. It took them some time to move all of the boxes into the apartment but once they had a small sense of victory awoke in both of them.

"Here..." Sara handed him a cup of coffee. He was sitting on the mattress in the centre of the living room; the only furniture Sara currently owned.

"Thank you..." He gratefully took the mug from her hands.

"Sorry about the lack of furniture..." She muttered sitting down next to him.

"It's okay...when I moved to my place I was living out of a suitcase for six months..." They both laughed awkwardly at the thought. Silence settled between them weighted down by their thoughts and feelings.

"Sara...I think...you're incredible...and the time we've spent together... it's meant a lot to me..." Vartann began speaking his voice muted as he cautiously put his heart on the line.

"It's meant a lot to me too..." Sara reached out her hand, curling her fingers around his. He turned to face her, his clear blue eyes lit up with surprise.

"I don't want to push it but...do you think maybe we could...have dinner together or something?" The nerves were evident in his voice and the way he tried not to hold her eye contact for too long. A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth and a flush coloured her cheeks slowly. It had been a long time since a man had been nervous about approaching her, or been so gentlemanly and endearing whilst doing so.

"I'd like that" she whispered, finding her hand brushing across his cheek gently. His eyes held hers and for a moment the bustle of the cars outside stilled. Without a word he closed the space between them, his eyes shifting from her lips to her eyes as he hesitated barely an inch from her mouth.

"You're sure?" his breath whispered onto her lips making her heart turn somersaults in her chest. With a small nod she wrapped her hand around his neck and pulled him to her, forcing their lips together.

Sara slowly fell back against the mattress Vartann landing on top of her, his hands on either side of her head his body trapping her in his warmth. She could feel his breath hitting her cheek as his eyes searched hers for a response to the situation they had found themselves in. She rested her hands against his chest, feeling his rapid heartbeat beneath his shirt. Her fingers played with the first button as she coyly glanced up at him.

Their lips gently brushed against each other as they kissed, the world slowing down around them as they realised that by doing this they were taking their relationship to the next level; that by doing this they were once again putting their hearts as risk. Sara unbuttoned his shirt, her hands gliding across his muscular body- his form so different from Greg's- from what she was used to.

His fingers traced the edge of her shirt, his eyes meetings hers for permission, Sara silently nodded letting him lift it up moving it out of the way and tossing it aside. His lips travelled down the curve of her neck to her collar bone his hands gently massaging her breasts. She gasped as her body responded to him. His touch was firmer than she had been anticipating, his hands grasping at her not hesitating for gentle caresses like Greg would have done.

Vartann traced kisses down her stomach reaching her the barrier of her jeans, unbuttoning them and removing them before Sara had a chance to process what was happening. He quickly moved back to her, hovering over her with passion in his eyes. She was momentarily stunned by the speed in which they were moving but she returned his desperate kisses hoping that at some point her mind would catch up with her body.

Sara twisted her hips against his, a low growl escaping his lips and dancing on her ear. With one movement he pushed into her and her body was instantly gripped with a burning pain making her inadvertently tense and cry out into the cold, echoic room.

"Are you ok?" Vartann whispered the concern evident in his clear blue eyes. Sara took a deep breath, allowing her body to react properly adjusting to his stature shifting a little under him before nodding, holding his eye contact.

"It's fine. I'm fine" she pressed her lips against his, her body pressing against him as he rocked against her. A sheen of sweat covered the tense muscles on his shoulders and back, her skin seemed so pale against his. Her body seemed so small under his frame. She and Greg had always been so well matched that these things had never occurred to her, they had just seemed to fit together so easily.

Lou had built himself into a rhythm, his rapid breathing and passionate grunts vibrating against her. He was a lot more vocal than Greg and it was clear he expected the same from her, his eyes darted to hers every few seconds as though he was searching for some kind of validation.

She wound her arms under his and drew her nails across his back and he groaned in her ear, gasping at her waist and pulling her roughly against him. He wasn't afraid to take control and to manipulate her body in the way he wanted.

All of a sudden he was pressing his body against her with incredible force before shuddering to a stop and losing all of the tension that had built up in his system.

His lips hungrily danced across her collar bone as he peeled himself from her body and collapsed onto the mattress by her side.

She lay there in stunned silence, the realisation dawning on her that it was over. He had been so passionate and so rushed she hadn't had a chance to savour the moment. Greg had always been so gentle, so deliberate and attentive. It was a shock to her system to have experienced something so different.

"That was...that was something..." He announced breathlessly.

"You can say that again" Sara attempted to mask the unsettled feelings that were nagging at the back of her mind.

"We should do that more often" Vartann added with a laugh.

"I...think that can be arranged" She laughed attempting to relax into the situation realising that she'd made decision- that this time there was no alcohol clouding her judgement. But for some reason it still didn't feel right, it felt as if something was missing.

The sound of Vartann's phone ringing cut through the atmosphere ending the daze they had both found themselves in. With a small groan he found the small rectangular object answering it in an irritated tone.

"Sure...I'll be right there..." He replied to whoever happened to be on the other side as their conversation came to an end. Vartann pulled himself into a sitting position casting his eyes around the room that surrounded them with a small sigh.

"I'm going to have to go into work..." He informed Sara with a slight frown, leaning down to place a kiss on her lips. "I'll see you later..."

"Aw" Sara pouted as she lay watching him quickly dress himself; finding it strange how she did not feel self conscious in front of him. She and Greg had known each other so long that their bodies were not something they worried about, every scar that tainted them told a story; a story they knew.

"Bye" He said from the door, giving her a smile that sent shivers to her core before disappearing into the evening.

As quickly as their relationship had begun, it took centre stage in Sara's life. Vartann made her smile, laugh and feel safe- their time together made her feel a way she hadn't felt in a long time. They had become comfortable with each other sharing stories, ideas and histories they never thought they'd be able to survive.

They would drive to work together laughing at each other's appalling jokes, complaining about their case loads and it was like having a companion back. Even though Sara could feel that there was something missing. She would turn to look at him expecting someone else; sometimes she'd hear his words and imagine them in a different voice.

Greg seemed to still be consuming her thoughts in ways she wanted more than anything to let go of. But every time their eyes met across the break room, or they passed each other in the halls she could feel herself wanting to crumble.

"So are you coming?" The sound of Lou's voice forced the thoughts out of her mind as she climbed out of his car into the LVPD parking lot.

"Do I have to?" She groaned looking at the lab thinking about the amount of paper work that was awaiting her.

"You do" Vartann laughed pulling her into his arms. Not giving it a second thought, he gently brushed her hair away kissing her softly. Sara responded just as enthusiastically wanting to make these small moments last before she started her shift. She looked into his eyes as she pulled away with a secretive smile; the only thing she could see was the honesty that he had always offered her.

Sara hadn't seen Greg standing beside the entrance a cigarette in his hand watching as the Detective pulled her against him with a familiarity that anyone would have been able to notice. He could feel his heart drop as Vartann's lips touched Sara's.

He knew that he had no right to feel jealous, after everything that had happened, he'd left Sara alone moving on with his life and now she had done the same. But still there was a voice in the back of his head telling him to stop what was happening between them. It didn't feel right seeing Sara with someone else.

Despite everything Greg knew no matter how much he denied it- he was still in love with her and it hurt him to know that someone else was holding her together like he had wished he could have done.

Someone so different- so unlike him.

A part of him wondered where the attraction had come from- he wanted to know whether she loved Vartann the way that she had loved him. He wanted to know so much more.

Taking a deep breath Greg turned around walking into the building in order to silence his envious mind from the thoughts that were infecting him.