Introduction
My name is Dante and I'm 19 years old. I found this old diary covered in dust under the couch. At first I thought I was gonna get to snoop and read some
dude's secrets. But to my disappointment, it was blank. Whoever owned this place before me must have forgotten about it. So now I've decided to write in
it. Why? Because I'm bored and it's better company than most people cause I can whine at it and it won't tell me to shut up. Oh, and I don't owe it money.
Entry 1 (DMC 3)
So here I am, minding my own business, eating some pizza, when the ugliest bald dude I've ever seen walks in. He says some things, nonsense mostly, and then
throws my desk at me! Well, of course, being my awesome self, I dodge it easily. Now I'm thinking that was the most pathetic excuse for an attack ever. The demons
must be losing their touch. Yeah, demons, devils, whatever ya wanna call them. I'm a devil hunter. Don't believe me? I don't care, you'll believe me when you get
eaten by one. Then your family members will come crying to me to kill it. I get payed and everyone's happy, well, I guess I'm the only happy one, but that suits me
fine. I assume this guy is a devil cause he's too ugly to be human. Then again, not all demons are ugly, just look at myself, I'm anything but ugly. Wait, I guess he
could be human, I mean, Enzo is human and there are few things uglier than him. Anyway, so as I'm thinking how weak an attack that was a whole bunch of devils
appear around me and ram their scythes through me. Now this is beginning to get annoying. I then proceed to kick all their butts and I'm reaching for my pizza when
one steps on my pizza and ruins it! Now he has got to pay! So then I get revenge on the stupid thing and realize how messed up my shop is. I haven't even named it
and everything is already messed up! So I go outside to kill some more devils and suddenly I get the urge to sneeze, yes, even someone as perfect as myself has to
sneeze sometimes. So I sneeze and my whole shop comes crashing down. Now I'm mad. So I kill all their sorry butts. Then this huge freaking tower comes outta the
ground and my big bro Vergil is on top. Now I knew Vergil was alive cause I met him a year ago. Normally, I would be glad to know my older twin was alive but there are
two problems. 1. He wants to unleash hundreds of devils upon the earth and take it over, which would make it difficult to get pizza. And 2. he is my identical twin so I
have to compete with him to get the babes. So I decided I gotta stop him. I enter the tower only to find the biggest dog I've ever seen. Seeing as he has three heads
I'm guessing he is a Cerberus. I kick his butt and grab some awesome icy nunchucks. Then some psycho chick fires a rocket at me and rides off on her motorcycle,
this has not been my idea of a good day. I move on through the tower, completing puzzles (most of which involve sticking glowy or important looking objects into
important looking holes or slots) by using my great mind. I then meet some guy named Jester. I believe I'd take the random psycho chick over this guy any day. I
move on through the tower kicking butt everywhere I go until I eventually get to the top. I fight my bro, get stabbed a few times, and then I transform and attack him.
I've transformed like this before but only now have I truly recognized the power for what it is. I turn into a true devil for a short amount of time before changing back to
my human form. I'll call it devil trigger. If you're wondering how I can do this, it's because I'm a half-devil. That's right, my dad was a super powerful demon named
Sparda and my mom was a human. My dad vanished and when I was six my mom was killed by devils. From what I hear, my dad was supposed to be a hero to
humans. He turned on the other devils and saved the human race. He then sealed the other devils into hell so they could never invade the human world again.
Apparently he did a pretty bad job of sealing them though cause they're all over the place. My bro joined the same things that killed our mom, something I'll never
understand. Anyway, so I go devil trigger and attack my bro who stabs me again and then leaves. At this point I'm feeling pretty bad. So I collapse in a pool of blood
and pass out for a little bit. When I come to I'm much stronger than I had been. I decide my business at the top is over, so I jump off the tower. Then I get eaten by a
huge flying whale. Only in my life do such things happen. I decide that the best way to get out is to destroy its heart and kill it. However, it has three hearts and none
of them want to be destroyed. So now I'm fighting hearts that can shoot laser beams. Wow. I kill it and then cut my way out of its eye. Then I once again meet psycho
chick. Is this the third time? I guess it doesn't matter, I still don't like her. I leave and continue fighting my way through the tower only now I'm trying to get to the
basement. Eventually, I reach the basement and fight Vergil again. Then the worst thing possible happens. We both get owned by Jester! Well, actually Jester is the
ugly bald dude I met before. I move on after the humiliation and continue through. After a while I meet up with Lady (the psycho chick) and we have a bit of a
disagreement. I kick her butt and promise her I'll kill the ugly bald dude/Jester who, it turns out, is her dad. I never saw THAT coming. I mean, she's pretty and he's...
not. To make a long story short, I take a trip to hell, part of it is very beautiful, strangely enough. Then I beat the hell out of the ugly bald dude/Jester with help from
Vergil, and then fight Vergil. I beat him and he stays in hell... As much as we didn't get along, it does sadden me. I mean, he was my bro. Lady actually turned out to
not be too bad a babe. She helped me name my shop. We decided on the Devil May Cry. Something she said to help me when I was down about Vergil. Well, I guess that's it for this diary entry, till next time, I guess.