AN YAY, it's chapter 10. Just one more chapter to go before this little story ends. Anyway, this chapter kind of goes into what Cole is here for. The idea came to me ages ago, okay so it actually came to me last night at three in the morning when I couldn't get to sleep. But that is a long time ago for me. Leave a review please. I hope to get this story to 45 reviews as it finishes.
Disclaimer I don't own Charmed people. I only own Julian McMahon in my dreams - wait did I just say that out loud? (Blushes) Oh come on he's hot!
Chapter 10
Run
There was no sun in the sky when Cole Turner had woken up, just a slight sunrise out in the distance, gleaming at him to run into it and never look back. It was too early for Paige to have woken up, and he was glad of that because what he was about to do wasn't something he wanted her to be awake for. She would have talked him out of it, pleaded with him to stay and he just couldn't do that. There was no way that he could even manage to stay one more day than he had to. Cole sat on the side of the bed, looking at Paige. Momentarily he could feel tears pierce his eyes and he looked away, he carefully put a small letter on top of the rose he had shimmered in earlier and stood up, smoothing down his side of the bed. This was the cowards way out and he knew it, but he was a coward and he had to admit it. Everything he had said last night had led Paige on to thinking things she shouldn't have, thinking they stood a chance when they didn't. Not when he had lied to her, lied to himself. Told her things could work between them and yet all the time the voice in the back of his head shouted at him to shut up and walk away. He never did though, because he fell for her. For someone he shouldn't have, he was brought back to do one thing and he didn't do it because he got caught up with other things and now his time was coming to a close. Two months was all he was granted to stay on Earth. The elders had told him this was his last chance to say sorry because of the good deed he had performed and he had to go back as soon as his three months were up. Ironically, he had helped to give a demon a lease of time to live and now he was that demon. He reached across and softly moved some hair from Paige's face, watching her movements beneath his fingers. Why did he let himself become so attached to her, the last time he was alive he had wanted to kill her but now. Now all he wanted to do was hold her, tell her how he really felt. Hopefully the letter did that, pathetic as it was he hoped she knew what his true feelings for the young whitelighter were. Tenderly he kissed her cheek and looked at her once more, the heavy feeling of tears in his eyes drove him to blink them out and let them run down his rough face, he let his fingers roam her soft skin once more before shimmering out.
A few hours later Paige woke up, the sunlight streaming onto her pale, dreamlike face. She threw her hand to her eyes and muttered a few curses under her breath at being woken up so suddenly. She drew in a deep breath and brought her knees up, cold against her bare flesh. She licked her lips and remembered the night before, no wonder she didn't want to be woken up. She was worn out. She turned her head to the side and opened her eyes, to find nobody there. Confused she sat up, her hair was knotted and out of place and her makeup made her seem like she had put it on in the dark with her eyes closed but she didn't care. Cole was gone. She saw the letter on the side, propped up against a single red rose. Intrigued she picked it up and unfolded it, looking down at Cole's writing and reading it word for word, line for line, letter for letter.
Paige if your reading this, which I figure you are I guess you've noticed someone's missing then, huh? Yeah I know. I shouldn't have gone like this but I can't bear to see your face when I tell you what I'm about to say. I can't be with you. It's nothing to do with you, it's all me. Cliché I know but it is. I guess you were right all those years ago, a demon will never stop being a demon. Or was that Prue? Anyway my point is I've lied big-time. I've lied to you, I've lied to you sisters. I've lied to myself, how low is that? I guess you want an explanation. The easiest way to put it is that I had a deal with the elders, and like all deals this one is coming to a close. I had two months to prove myself to you and your sisters but I got so caught up with you I couldn't. I'm so sorry Paige, I'm more than sorry. I'm heartbroken for leaving like this. And just to make this worse I have to tell you something else, so if you haven't already don't stop reading. You asked me last night if I loved you, and I avoided your question like it would infect me well here's your answer. I do love you, I love you more than you could even know which is why I've taken the cowards way out and done this. To see you cry would kill me. Don't come and find me please, I'm not worth your sympathy or anger or anything. I'll always love you and you need to know that. Always, Cole.
Paige did nothing for a moment but stare at the white piece of paper, the paper fluttered in her shaking hand, like it was floating in the breeze. Without sense of reasoning or stopping to think about the consequences she threw herself out of the bed and got dressed quickly. In her rush she almost ripped the paper in her hand and she let it go, floating to the floor. She pulled on her clothes and looked at herself in the mirror as she brushed her hair. How she hated him, but how much she loved him at the same time. He made her so dizzy with desire, and high on pleasure she never thought she would touch the ground again, but then he made her hate him so much that she thought if she ever saw him again she would hurt him as much as he had done her. He was her sin, and she couldn't give him up just like that. She grabbed the paper and gave it another death defying look, how could he leave her with a 'Dear John'. In a rush she ran downstairs and saw Phoebe in the living room. Its now or never. She walked towards her, the letter grasped firmly in her right hand,
"Phoebe where does Cole go when he's trying to run away from something?" Phoebe coughed slightly on her drink, surprised by the outburst of her sister behind her. She turned and looked at her confused, her smile fading as she saw the look on Paige's face. Disgust, hurt, despair. She was visibly shaking and she looked determined about something,
"Why?" she asked her younger sister carefully, unsure she wanted to hear the answer to that by the glare of hate radiating from Paige's face.
"He left me" Paige paused as she let it register with Phoebe "He told me he'd be here today, with me to tell you something important but he left me a letter and went. I need to find him." Phoebe stood up and walked towards Paige, the worry evident in her eyes
"What the hell did he do to you Paige?" Phoebe put her hands on Paige's arms, scared Cole had hurt like he had threatened to do countless times before. After everything they had said to one another, it wouldn't surprise Phoebe if he had tried to hurt her, or cast a spell over her. He was going to pay if he had hurt her though.
"He slept with me. I slept with him. We - He's gone. I have to find him whether you help me or not. Now I know your not going to like this situation and your probably going to want me to leave or something but I've fallen in love Phoebe" Paige was now more than determined to make sure her sister trusted her, and respected her whishes than finding Cole. Phoebe bit her lip, Paige was not, not, not saying this.
"What are you talking about Paige, you found out he was back at the same time as us. Even I didn't fall in love with him that quickly" She gripped Paige's arms tighter but she pulled away from her grasp,
"I've known he was here longer. He was mycharge, I don't know why but the Elders put us together and things happened" She stared into Phoebes eyes "This is nothing against you, but I do love him Pheebs and I need to talk to him" She pushed the letter close to her eyes, Phoebe read it and gave it back without speaking a word. She stayed silent for a long time. Too long for Paige's liking but she knew she was trying to process all the factors together. She put her hand to her head and closed her eyes, Paige watched her intently, praying silently that she would accept it. Phoebe studied the situation for a moment. Paige, Cole, love it just didn't mix. Her sister had lied to her to be with a demon that had tried to kill them more than a number of times, made her become the queen of the underworld and had tried to make her kill her own sisters. But she could see the desperation in Paige's eyes. Paige would never lie to hurt her, she was too much of a family orientated girl. As independent as she was her sister were the most important thing to her, especially after being an only child in a foster family. She drew in a deep breath,
"There's this bench, on the top of Twin Peaks. Its deserted nobody goes there, except Cole because he can shimmer up there without exposing magic. If you can't find him there, he might be on top of the Golden Gate. He told me once that Leo was right, it is a good place to think" Paige shuddered a breath and hugged her sister tightly, she whispered a thank you into her ear and orbed out to the first place that Phoebe had said. Phoebe walked away as Paige orbed out, shocked and bewildered by the sudden outburst that Paige had come out with, walking into the kitchen she bumped into Piper who had obviously heard everything,
"She'll be fine" He eldest sister told her sympathetically, Phoebe nodded. Confused about how Piper had taken the news, that Paige was in love and sleeping with Cole Turner, so well.
"I hope so" She admitted, Piper linked her arm and walked towards the front door with her. Determined to make her feel better, "Where are we going?" She asked inquisitively, as Piper opened the door and walked out.
"Were going to have breakfast out" She smiled at Phoebe, "I'm using you as an excuse to spend money that Leo earned fixing that neighbors piping" Phoebe laughed slightly and walked with Piper to the car, if Paige wanted to be with Cole then she should just accept it. She came to the conclusion they were both too stubborn to deal with, and according to that letter there wasn't that long left for them anyway. She sighed at the thought of Paige's reaction when Cole went, but with the help of her sisters she would be okay. Afterall she was.
Cole sat on the bench looking out at the view, there was a low fog that seemed to engulf the city scape. He could barely see parts of the Golden Gate Bridge, he didn't move when he heard the familiar jingle of orbs forming behind him. Instead he continued looking out to the distance, his eyes slightly squinted against the harsh light of the cold sunlight. He lent back slightly, still not bothering to turn around
"I told you not to come and find me" He said coolly, his fingers scraped the old wood of the bench causing some of it to flake off onto the floor. Paige didn't move towards him like she would have done in other situations, instead she took his cold approach and decided she would be the one to ask the questions.
"Why did you lie to me?" Her eyes bore into the back of his head, willing him to turn around. When he didn't she took a few steps towards him, Cole followed a bird with his eyes as it soared across the sky, its dark shape highlighted by the light grey fog, he licked his lips,
"I didn't lie. I bent the truth" His fingers continued to work away at the wood, he could feel the splinters digging underneath his short nails but he ignored it. Paige shook her head, now she could see why she hated him all that time ago.
"It's the same thing, why do this to me? Why say you love me and were going to be with me when all along you knew this was a temporary thing? Was it a sick way of getting back at me for all that time ago?" She could hear her voice getting louder, echoing off into the distance and fading slowly as it sunk into the city. Cole closed his eyes and swallowed the lump of guilt in his throat,
"Yes" He lied. Paige felt herself stagger slightly as his simple word hit her in the face, harsh and blunt. She opened her mouth to reply but instead felt the reality of tears, her breath was shaky and out of line. She closed her eyes momentarily, before snapping them open. Watery and hazel colored, which had darkened with hate. Cole tensed his jaw and closed his eyes as he waited for her soft voice to stab his heart with hate, he knew this would be the only way,
"You - used me?" She felt her stomach knot in several directions and her heart seemed to have stopped altogether a long time ago. Cole bit back the morn-filled breath and nodded his head, opening his eyes once more, his vision slightly blurred, "But I love you Cole" She finally got out, quiet and soft. Cole felt her pulling at him to turn around, like a puppet on a string he stood up and did just that. Paige looked at his features, worn from the lies
"Why cant you hate me?" he asked, walking around the bench and towards her "I used you! You were nothing but someone I could get into bed with at night. I used and abused your trust. Why don't you hate me?" He looked at her, straight into her eyes "I want you to hate everything about me. Everything I did I want you to despise it, I want you to hate it so much you forget it" Paige licked her bottom lip, pulling it into her mouth and letting it go, she slowly raised her hand to his cheek but he pulled back, staring at her confused.
"I can't hate you Cole" She told him, Cole turned away from her rubbing his eyes before looking back at her. This was exactly why he didn't want her to come after him.
"Why not" He swiveled on his heels and turned back to her, he was breathing deeply she noted his chest was heaving
"Because we love each other" her words stung him at first. Causing him to stand back and reassess the situation in front of him "Cole, I want to hate you. I want to vanquish your sorry ass again, but I can't because I know if you leave me…I wont be able to cope" She folded her arms, stubborn and cold. He continued to stare at her, saying nothing at all. Much like Phoebe had done before,
"You need to learn how to cope then, because if in a few weeks my sorry ass will be gone" A breath caught in her throat, as she realized he was speaking the truth. It was the flicker of hurt in his eyes that gave it away, they always say that the eyes were the window to the soul and it was definitely true for Cole. He looked away from her as she bit her lip,
"Why did - The elders why did they do this? Why did they bring you back for such a short amount of time? I thought they trusted you" She looked at the floor as Cole laughed, it echoed around where they were stood making the situation worse.
"Paige don't be so stupid" He kicked at a stone that was on the floor "I'm a demon, they will never trust me. The whole point of me coming back was to let me get out of limbo, but to do that I had to repent. I needed to know I was forgiven for my past. I wasn't meant to get my powers back. I wasn't meant to fall in love. I was meant to have you as a whitelighter so it would make it easier to say sorry to the sisters and you. The Elders will never forgive or forget everything I did in the past, but I don't care about them. All I cared about was Phoebe and Piper and you" he drew in a deep breath and held it for a moment before exhaling it, "But I got distracted" Paige played with her nails as she listened to what Cole was saying, he walked away from her. His feet crushing the stones beneath his feet, he lent on the small fence and watched smoke rise from the buildings in the distance.
"Cole?" She made her way towards him, her feet taking the same steps that he had done a few moments ago. He turned his head and looked at her, "Don't make me hate you to forget you when you leave" He watched her a moment longer before looking back at what he was before, he felt her hand on his arm "Spend the rest of your time with me. At the manor. Then you can get my sisters to forgive you and when you do go then you can move on" She gave his arm a gentle squeeze and watched him consider it for a moment, "If I hated you, you wouldn't have been able to move on anyway" he shook his head slightly,
"I don't want you to feel any sadness when I go Paige. I don't want to think I caused you pain" His eyes followed a bird again as it dove down to feed. The wind blew his hair slightly and caused him to squint slightly like before. His shirt was blown back against his chest as the wind picked up for a moment before settling down.
"Been there. Done that dude." Cole bit his lip, but felt Paige move her arms around his waist and move herself close to him, he moved his arm and put his around her body. "Don't leave me" She whispered, letting her head rest against his solid body, Cole swallowed hard. It would be so much easier if he just left quietly, without any connections to anybody, but Paige was practically begging him to stay. Like he knew she would. He let his hand stroke her back slightly as he thought, "Don't just walk away Cole, not after what we have been through. Please. I never thought I'd say those three words but I have done. I love you. Please, stay with me until it happens" She didn't want to think that far ahead, but there was no point is fighting with destiny. It just wasn't worth it. If Cole was going to go, then he was going to go. But after all the feelings she had for the demon, all the times she had spent with him, all the nights she had laid in his arms, she knew that she wanted to be with him right up until the end.
"Okay" His answer was simple, but that one word made Paige feel on top of the world. Together for that moment, they stood simply. Paige holding onto him for dear life and Cole taking in his surroundings, knowing full well that he wouldn't see it again, in two week anyway. "What are you going to do with the letter? The one I wrote you this morning?" she shrugged and he felt her movements against his body, he moved so he was stood straight and looked at her, smiling slightly. She raised her hand and let her finger run over his lips, his cheek, his jaw.
"Keep it. Afterall you say you love me in it" She let her hand rest near the back of his head, lowering it slowly. She kissed him gently, looping her arms around his neck. He placed his hands on her waist and let her lead the kiss, giving her what she wanted and more. Finally, after a few moments, he pulled away and Paige lent her head against his broad chest.
"You, Miss Matthews, need to stop being so stubborn and making me do what you want" She smiled against his chest and moved her head so she looked up at him,
"It's better that way" She grinned and kissed him again, rising onto her tiptoes. Pulling away if only to breath. "It's just me and you now" She whispered.
AN Do, do, dooooo! Hope ya liked, tell me in a review.