A/N: Okay so this is going to be the last update I'm going to make for maybe a week. Three chapters up in three days is super fun but I do need to keep you guys on the edge of your seats! (If you're even there to begin with.) This chapter is... well, not the best in terms of emotions. You'll see what I mean.
Lapis was sitting on her couch, watching T.V with her heart in her throat. Why did I ask for this? Is it too late to say that I don't want this? Her internal monologue was just a stream of constant questions and self-depreciation. Before she was about to go into another bout of despair, she heard a soft knock at her door. She got up, ran a hand through her hair, and walked to the door. The bluenette took a deep breath and smiled as best as she could when she opened the door. Peridot stood there, slightly hunched over, hands in her pockets. "Uh, hey. You ready to go or what?" the blonde questioned.
Lapis blinked at her. "I was actually wondering if we could just… stay here?" she choked out.
The bluenette saw the eyes of the shorter woman in front of her widen slightly. My stars, is she blushing?
"Yeah, we can do that," finally came the reply.
Lapis stepped to the side and let Peridot into the only place she felt safe. Gosh, I sure hope I'm not wrong on this. Seeing as the blonde was helplessly lost on what to do next, the bluenette gestured to the couch. "Go ahead and sit for a bit, I'm going to get a drink. Do you, uh, want anything to drink?" she offered.
Peridot shook her head and took a seat on the corner of the couch. The taller of the two made her way to the kitchen and took a look in the fridge. She grabbed a bottle of water and went to sit down on the other side of the couch. The tension in the air was palpable, and the silence was doing nothing to help. Eventually, Lapis decided to play some music softly. The music was enough to lighten the air just enough to where Peridot cleared her throat.
"So, Lapis. What exactly was your plan?" she questioned.
"What do you mean?" the bluenette retorted, slightly confused.
"Why did you want me here? What did you want to talk about?"
Lapis paused. I knew this was a bad idea! I knew it. She opened her mouth and closed it several times before she finally spoke again.
"I just wanted to know what you know. All of it," the blue-haired woman answered, drawing her knees up to her chest.
Lapis saw Peridot rub the back of her neck from her peripheral vision, and then she sighed. "If you would rather not repeat everything, that's fine too. I would prefer if you left if you don't want to explain though."
"What? No, I'll tell you. I'm just… trying to find a way to put it all in words is all," came the blonde's reply.
While waiting for a further elaboration, the blue-haired woman drew her knees up to her chest and rest her chin on them. Eventually, Peridot spoke. The blonde went on to explain all that she had been able to piece together from the snippets and rumors she had heard here and there. The words seemed to refuse to spill smoothly from Peridot's mouth, as she took frequent pauses and stuttered often. Opposed to how the blonde's words came, Lapis' tears streamed down her face in a smooth cascade.
As the shorter of the two continued on and on about what she knew, Lapis started becoming more and more detached from reality. Memories that she had suppressed for so long came back, and started to haunt her. She felt herself sinking down into an abyss of emotions she had long forgotten and was starting to lose herself. Before she completely got lost in the horrid memories, she felt a hand in her shoulder and a voice.
"Lapis?" the voice came.
"Lazuli?" it came more urgently now.
The bluenette stayed enthralled within her thoughts, albeit not as intensely. Lapis tried to drown out the voice trying to bring her back to reality, wanting to stay in the emotional stupor she had put herself in. This continued until she felt hands on both her shoulders and she was given a gentle shake.
"My stars I knew this was a bad idea. Come on, Lazuli! You have to talk to me."
The bluenette blinked and looked at the person who was now trying to comfort her. Without thinking, she threw her arms around the blonde and started to weep again. Lapis felt Peridot tense up, but eventually felt the embrace being returned. Once the weeping subsided, the bluenette stayed in the comforting hug until Peridot cleared her throat.
"Uh, Lapis?"
Lapis immediately dropped the hug and shot back into a sitting position. "Oh my stars I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, please forgive me," came the fast stuttering from her lips.
The blonde rubbed the back of her neck and shrugged. "It's okay, I don't mind it."
Lapis blushed furiously and it only served to embarrass her more. She hugged her knees again and stared off into the distance.
"Peridot?" Lapis asked.
"Yeah, Lapis?" Peridot answered hesitantly.
"All those years in school. Why?"
Lapis heard the blonde shift, yet she still looked off into the distance.
"Why what?" came the response, Peridot obviously wanting to avoid the question.
"You know exactly what," the bluenette said in a level voice.
"I… Oh dear. I honestly don't have an idea why."
Lapis snorted in response, showing her disbelief.
"Look, Lapis. I don't know why. I guess I was just stupid back then. After every single insult or outburst towards you, I'd feel instant regret. I was almost intimidated by you, the way you handled everything without even blinking! I guess I just loved getting under people's skin, and when I couldn't get under yours it got to me and my ego. After you never came back, though, I got worried. I was completely aware of my actions, and I was aware of what they could cause, I just never thought it would get to you.
"Lapis I know that I hurt you beyond belief. I know that you can never truly trust me. I know all that! I also know that this is nearly impossible to ask, but I'm asking - no, begging for you to forgive me! I've been drowning in my mistakes ever since I first screwed up talking to you the first time. I know that it's all just so selfish seeming but Lapis I do genuinely care about you and-"
"Peridot. Shut up," Lapis interrupted.
The blonde had started to get frantic in her explanation and her voice had began to raise with every sentence.
"W- what?" Peridot replied, hopelessly confused.
Lapis turned and faced the blonde. She had discarded her glasses to prevent any smudging and streaks from the tears now streaming down her face. Peridot's hair was even more of a mess than ever as a result of the blonde messing with it to have an outlet for her stress and anger. Azure eyes met emerald and they held the contact for several seconds. She's gotten beautiful, the bluenette thought distantly. She felt heat rising up in her cheeks, and she pushed it down.
"Peridot, I can't tell you many things for certain, but I can tell you this. I do forgive you. Will I ever forget what you did to me? Probably not, that is a much harder fight that I don't think you'll win. The anger and self-loathing you've felt is exactly how I felt back then. I'm not going to hold you in that state for longer than you need to be, it's a terrible way to exist," Lapis said.
The blonde sat there, staring at Lapis, mouth hanging open. Fresh tears welled up in her eyes and finally spilled over her eyelids.
"L-lapis-" Peridot started.
Lapis hushed her and put a hand on the blonde's shoulder. The bluenette was surprised when the blonde drew her in for an embrace this time. Peridot was shaking violently, weeping tears of conflicting emotions. Lapis wrapped her arms around the blonde, letting her know that she was there to comfort her. When Peridot's crying stopped, the pair remained locked in their embrace.
"Hey Peri?" Lapis broke the silence.
"Hmm?" was the hummed response.
"Thank you."
A/N: I'm so sorry. I was listening to a sad song on repeat while writing this chapter and it took a turn for the worse. (The song was Little do you Know by Alex & Sierra, and I highly recommend listening to it and possibly re-reading or skimming through this chapter again.) However! We are over the hill of negativity and it will get progressively happier from here! Thank you guys for keeping up with this story through ten chapters and thousands of words. I appreciate every view and review as well! See you guys next chapter!