Jealousy
Chapter 10
Arnold was not productive at school the following day. Arnie's last words had gotten to him, and he found himself once again tossing and turning, going to the roof to think, coming up with no conclusions, and finally falling asleep just as his alarm went off. Gerald tried to talk to him, but he once again avoid any questions, stating that Arnie's snoring was what was keeping him up, and things would be better once he left. Which, to Arnold, was the truth.
He did manage to catch Helga to confirm the plans for that night. If she had been upset about seeing Arnie and Lila, she did not show it. Lila, however, would not stop talking about Arnie during English Literature.
"It was so romantic. We saw a movie, and he paid for everything, even though I was the one that invited him. Then we went to Café Paris, and he fed me chocolate covered strawberries. Then we took a walk through the park. He bought me a rose, but he stated its beauty was nothing compared to mine. Then he walked me home, and he kissed me on the cheek. I wanted more, of course, but he said he was a gentleman, and it gave an incentive for another date. We haven't made any plans, but I'm sure he will call me tonight."
Rhonda only scoffed as she answered, "Lila, he went out with Helga the night before. Are you sure he didn't just play you?"
Lila just shrugged as she replied, "That didn't mean anything. He told me so."
Anger almost erupted from Arnold as he heard this, but he managed to keep himself under control. Besides, he told himself, this was a good thing, as it meant that Arnie had no more plans for asking Helga out. It was Thursday, and that meant only two more days until Arnie left. If he went out with Lila again tonight, and met up with her at the party, then all would be well by Saturday morning.
During Calculus, instead of taking notes, Arnold wrote down exactly what he wanted to say, only to scratch what he had written out and start over. He was grateful that he was not called on to answer any questions. In the end, before the bell rang, he had made the decision to just wing it, and say what was on his mind in the moment. That seemed to work for Helga.
When Gerald dropped him off, Arnold raced upstairs, barely noticing that Arnie was on the phone. He gave a brief wave to Arnold as he continued his conversation. Arriving at his room, Arnold started to do some more homework, eager for 6:00 to arrive so that he could start walking to the café. He had opted out of going by bus, as the walk would hopefully ease his nerves.
Why was he nervous? This was Helga, his friend, his buddy, his pal, the one girl he could talk to without stuttering. The one person he could talk to when Gerald couldn't understand, when he needed more in-depth advice other than, 'Never eat raspberries,' when his frustrations and fears go the best of him, when he got tired of everyone coming to him for advice. He could talk to her about anything.
Yet, Arnie's words kept creeping back to him. If Helga was hiding something, why? Why from him? He trusted her, why couldn't she trust him? Shaking his head, he refocused on his studies, as he knew he would not have time later that night. He would worry about the answers to those questions later.
Arnie walked in just as Arnold was packing up his back pack, "Well, have you given any thought as to what you are going to say?"
Ignoring his question, Arnold asked one of his own, "Who was on the phone? Lila? She seemed pretty confident you were going to ask her out again."
If Arnie was offended by Arnold's lack of tact, he did not show it. Instead, he answered, "Actually, that was my mom. She was asking if everything was okay. But in response to your thinly veiled question, yes, I plan on taking Lila out again. Her and Rhonda are meeting me here at 5:00."
Arnold raised an eyebrow as he looked at Arnie, "You're taking two girls out at the same time?"
"Actually, Rhonda offer to take me and Lila out. Not sure what her game plan is there, but who am I to turn down a free night out with two gorgeous girls?" Seeing Arnold's disgusted look, he added, "Relax, I don't plan on doing anything like that. You're going out tonight, so I refuse to be stuck here all night by myself. Besides, if I were you, I would focus on your night ahead."
Arnold refused to look at Arnie as he grabbed his jacket, "I have nothing to worry about. I'm just going out with a friend. People do this all the time." Arnold missed Arnie slapping himself on the forehead in frustration, but he did turn around in time to see Arnie shake his head. "You have fun, and please, don't cause any trouble. I know it is the ultimate fantasy for a guy to have two girls fighting over him, but remember that I am the one who will suffer the repercussions after you leave."
Arnie did a quick salute, "Sir, yes sir."
Arnold grinned in spite of himself. As difficult as Arnie has made his life, he did manage to bring some humor into an awkward situation.
Helga was already at the café when Arnold arrived. She was writing furiously in her notebook, almost as if her world would end if she did not get down what was in her head. Arnold had seen her do this several times in the past. However, each time he asked her about it, she would just shrugged, stating it was the life of a writer. He had given up on begging to read any of her material, although the curiosity was still there. She was very cryptic about her work, and he was pretty sure even Phoebe had yet to read a piece of her literature.
He took his seat beside her just as she looked up, closing her book hastily while grinning, "About time. Don't you know that is rude to keep a lady waiting." She slid the notebook back into her bag, and Arnold took a moment to realize that it was pink.
Pink was always a color that Arnold associated with Helga, as mostly everyone did. She wore the color somewhere every day, Such as today, where she was wearing a pink wrist watch, even though it clashed with her dark green t-shirt. It was almost ironic, as Helga was always trying to stand away from all things that were considered, "girly." Yet pink had some meaning to her life. It was one of the things on Arnold's ever-growing list of things-about-Helga-that-have-yet-to-be-explained.
"Sorry, I was talking to Arnie before I left. Have you been waiting long?" he asked as he grabbed a menu.
"Not really. About 10 minutes. The waitress has been bugging the crap out of me though, coming up every two minutes to ask if I was ready to order. You would think that this place had a long line of people dying to get in," Helga replied. As if on cue, the said waitress came over. They gave their orders, and with that she was gone.
Before they received their order, they talked about classes and rumors. They talked about the upcoming baseball game on Saturday, their friendly rivalry coming into play at whose team was going to win. They talked about Phoebe and Gerald, and the frustrations at seeing the lack of action on either's part to further the relationship from flirting to dating. They talked about Lila's party on Friday, and tried to guess how many would try to sneak alcohol in. Arnold made it a point to avoid Arnie, and Helga did not bring him up herself.
After they were done eating, and now sat enjoying some milkshakes, Helga leaned back in the booth, looking at Arnold expectantly. When all he did was stare back, she frowned, "Well, you called me here for a reason. And don't play the whole just-wanted-to-chat game. I know you well enough to know when something is bothering you. Remember when you first found out about Lila? My shoulder is still pruney from your tears. What is bothering you?"
Trepidation rose in Arnold as he looked at her. He had plans for what he wanted to say, and had been practicing it on his walk to the café. Now, in the moment, he was starting to have doubts. Helga saw this on his face, and leaned forward, grabbing one of his hands in hers, her eyes showing concern. She said nothing, which was her way when the situation was serious or imperative to the person she was interacting with. This motion gave Arnold courage, and he covered her hand with his other one, smiling softly as he started, "You know you can trust me, right?"
Helga nodded mutely, and Arnold continued, "You would tell me if something was wrong, right? We don't keep secrets from each other."
Helga pulled herself out of Arnold's hands, leaning back and crossing her arms, her face unreadable. Arnold stared back, trying to gauge her emotions. He refused to give up, and stated, "Sometimes, I feel you are holding back."
Breathing deeply, Helga replied, "Arnold, I have no idea what you are talking about."
At this, Arnold started to get angry, "Were you upset when you found Arnie out with Lila last night."
"No."
"Why not?"
"I'm just not."
"Why?"
"It doesn't bother me."
"Why not?"
Helga slammed her fist on the table, "Because I'm used to guys falling for the other girl, especially that one!" she yelled, drawing the attention of the other patrons on the café. Her eyes widened as she realized what she had said. Standing quickly, she threw some bills on the table, "I have to go." Before Arnold had a chance to throw his own money down, she was out the door.
He quickly caught to her, grabbing her had to pull her around, "What do you mean, 'that one.' You mean Lila?"
Angrily pulling out of his grip, she refused to answer, continuing to walk down the street.
"Damn it, Helga, answer me!"
She stopped in her track, but would not turn around. Arnold took the opportunity to catch up to her, standing directly in front of her. "Arnie told me he thinks you hurt every day, but you hide it. I didn't want to believe him, because I felt that you trusted me to tell me anything, and knowing that if something was hurting you, you would let me help you. But now I see what he is talking about. Something happened in the past. Something that Lila was a part of, that has you hurt, scared, and angry. Something you don't trust to tell me."
"I didn't realize that my life was up to be analyzed by a pair of armature shrinks," Helga spouted angrily, stepping around Arnold to escape. Arnold, however, refused to let go of the situation, grabbing her hand, and dragging her across the street. Helga tried to pull herself from his grip, but the pressure was too much, and she soon gave up, merely scowling as he lead her away.
They made their way to the far end of the park, away from those who were enjoying the last remaining hours of daylight before the day faded into night. When he was satisfied that he was away from any audiences, he let her go, turning to face her. Her anger had not tapered, but neither did his.
"Do you have any idea how pissed off I was when Arnie came back from his date, one date with you, and was able to read you like that? I've known you for fourteen years, and I can't even get you to let me read something that you wrote." Before he knew it, he was pacing in front of her, refusing to make eye contact as he pushed on, "Arnie could not have come up with that on his own. What did you open up to him about that you won't tell me? Or did he even have to say anything. Did he make some cheap move on you? Did he buy you a rose, and tell you that you were more beautiful? If he did, then word to the wise, he used that line with Lila last night. Or did it get more physical? You didn't seem to hold back when he kissed you…"
He stopped talking, realizing what he had said a second too late. He stopped his pacing to look directly at Helga. Helga's eyes widened as her face turned red. "You spied on me," she whispered.
Knowing he had reached a pivotal point in the conversation, Arnold could not reply. He knew that nothing he said would justify what he had just confessed. His mouth continued to open, but then shut, as words would not come out. He noticed that tears had welled up in Helga's eyes, but she quickly brushed them out before he could comment.
"We're friends, Arnold, and nothing will change that. But this, this is just a lack of respect. Yes, there are things in my past I would rather leave there. Yes, there are things about me that I would rather not discuss. My reasons are my own, and trust me when I say that it is better this way. I don't know how Arnie knew that. Maybe he's just smarter than you. He's definitely not as clueless. But it doesn't matter. None that is as bad as what you did."
She walked up to him, inches from his face. There was no longer anger, but pure hurt. "How dare you make a judgment on me based on what you saw. He kissed me, and yes, I'm not going to lie, I enjoyed it. Like I told you before, it was nice to have someone pay attention to me, even if it was short lived. Lila has always been able to grab attention, from anyone, no matter if she is playing the naive little goody goody or the flirty little floozy. Olga was the same way, in a sense. Why pay attention to me when perfect Olga was around? Living in another's shadow is what I have done my whole life!" With that, she turned, walking steadily, but with her head down.
This time, Arnold made no move to stop her.